Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3)

by Lila Rose

  “Good of you all to make it,” I said, my voice thick with gratitude.

  “Any fuckin’ time and for any fuckin’ reason,” Talon said with a serious look on his face. I gave him a chin lift and greeted all the fuckers with a pat on the back.

  “When you heading home?” Blue asked.

  After a shrug, I said, “Not sure. Things are good here right now.” Some would call me a big lickable pussy for not fighting my memories at home. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. Everything reminded me of Simone and how I lost her. Too much pain came with it.

  “The reason the leggy blonde in the house?” Vicious asked. Dodge shoved him hard. He teetered sideways but caught himself. “Fuck, sorry.”

  “Not a problem, brother. But no, nothing to do with it at all.” Glancing to Talon, I asked, “Where’s Stoke and Killer and their crew?”

  “Couldn’t make it. They said they’d get up here soon, though.”

  Everyone turned when another car came down the drive and stopped. Already I could see Pick and Billy in the front. The back door opened, and Josie got out, then Nary.

  “Headin’ in. Got some beer, brother?” Vicious asked.

  Stupid kid and his stupid ways for stayin’ away from the one thing he wanted. And now the loss, having her move on, would fuck him up even more. We all knew Nary was the one person who would have done anything for him, yet he’d screwed it all up. No one understood his reasons, but one fuckin’ day, I’d have a talk with him and tell him life wasn’t worth wasting.

  “Yeah, in the Esky out back.”

  He was outta there even before the others had made it to us, as were my other brothers, leaving me with the new arrivals. When they got close, Nary gave me a hug with a hello and then went on inside. Josie came forward with a sad smile and then took the last step to wind her arms around my waist.

  Pick and Billy stayed behind their woman. With my teeth clenched hard, I looked down at Josie while she looked up. “How you doin’, babe?” I asked and even that hurt. I hadn’t seen her since the funeral. The woman before me knew what loss was. She understood how my insides were still raw and bleeding.

  “I’m getting there.” She nodded. Tears pooled in her eyes. “She would have been so proud of you.”

  “Don’t,” I bit out.

  “Right now, Simone would be looking down upon this and seeing how you’ve become an amazing father.”

  “Josie,” I groaned. My head went back, eyes to the sky as they filled with tears.

  She sniffed. “She’ll always be in our hearts, Dive. I’m sorry I haven’t got up here to help with Koda. I want to get to know him and be close to him because he has a part of my best friend in him.” Looking down, I saw she felt guilty when her eyes wouldn’t meet mine.

  “Nothing to apologise for, babe. We both went through a lot, but you more, being so close to losing Rich.” She bit her bottom lip and nodded.

  “No loss is compared. We both feel it, but… we both need to remember life does go on. It may take a month, a year, even two or five, but life does go on, and we learn to cherish what we have and live like each day is the last. With no regrets.”

  “I’m trying, Josie. I’m trying.”

  “So am I.” She stepped back and wiped her face. “So am I,” she said again before Billy came forward to claim her with his arms around her waist. Shaking her head, she added, “I guess I should apologise for being so deep and ruining everything before it got started.”

  “No, woman.” I smiled. “Nothing is ruined. Come on, let’s go see Koda.”

  “I’d love that.”

  The day progressed well. My brothers and I spent most of our time out the back with the kids. Koda was havin’ fun with Maya, Rommy, and Ruby while the boys played football around them. My son was at the stage where he was pulling himself up on everything. After he’d started crawling, it seemed like he just kept wanting to do more and more.

  The women gossiped inside while getting shit ready and no doubt drilling Mena on everything about me. I bet I’d get a talk later when they find out I’d been nothing but an arse to her. Lunch was awesome. Mena sat at the other table, the guys and I pulled outta the shed, with the women, Mum, and kids. She even fed Koda. It wasn’t even her working day, and she still took care of him.

  She threw her head back and laughed at something Hell Mouth said. The sight was fuckin’ amazing. Never had I seen her laugh that hard or free. Hell, not even when she was giggling at me when I was dry retching after that snot issue Koda had.

  Her shoulder length blonde hair and bronzed skin went well with the yellow sundress. Goddamn, I’d been a huge dick to her, and she still kept coming back. I knew why. She was in it for Koda, and I appreciated that she was. Fuckin’ lucky she was the one I employed. Mum loved her, and it looked like my brothers’ women did also.

  Wasn’t hard. She never said a bad word about anyone. Shit, she didn’t even swear. I’d love to see her riled up, see what she said or how she acted. Her face flushed with frustration and anger. I knew being a bastard to her was wrong on so many levels. She didn’t deserve it, but it was a front for how confused I was. I was attracted to her. My cock knew it every morning she arrived. It was like he wanted to wave good morning. But then… then I’d remember my heart was supposed to belong to Simone, and being attracted to Mena made me fuckin’ crazy mad, so I took it out on her.

  Jesus Christ.

  Guilt sat low in my belly. I shouldn’t even be looking at Mena the way I was. Simone had been dead only a year, and already my eyes were straying. I was a cunt.

  Dragging my eyes from the table and back to my brothers talking around me, I shook my unwanted thoughts away. It sucked not all of our large family could make it, but things were busy. Julian and Mathew were occupied with minding Griz’s kids, and they even took them away for the weekend. Simone’s parents said they’d be up later in the week, but had prior arrangements so had to miss Koda’s party. I think it also had to do with the fact they knew my biker brethren would be there. They didn’t feel comfortable around them.

  No matter. For once, I was finding myself smiling and feeling somewhat happy.

  For then anyway.

  Chapter Nine

  Mena

  When Judy sent me out the front to see if Kalen needed any help, I didn’t expect to see women with huge men wearing biker vests.

  Biker vests.

  Kalen’s friends were part of a real bikers’ club.

  Before I could embarrass myself by saying or doing something stupid in front of them, I quickly ran inside and closed the door, leaning against it.

  Judy saw me from the kitchen, where she stood with Koda in her arms. She laughed so hard, I thought she was going to pull something. Once she got herself under control, she ignored my glare and said, “I guess, my boy forgot to tell you he’s a part of Hawks MC?”

  “Why yes, Judy, he did. In fact, you didn’t say anything either.”

  She shrugged. “I didn’t want to scare you off when you’d just started, and honestly, I ended up forgetting you didn’t know.”

  No wonder he’d asked those questions at the start. Oh, my God. Were those the women who had others after them?

  “Stop worrying. You’ll find out they’re a wonderful bunch. Come and help me here.” She gestured to the table where the fruit sat ready to be cut up for fruit salad. My heart felt like it was in my throat. I’d been worried for some time about meeting Kalen’s friends. Even if I was only the hired help, they’d still judge me. Then, seeing they were bikers, more nerves fluttered through my stomach. What happened if they hated me? I was sure Kalen would appreciate their input about the woman taking care of his son.

  Sugar, what would happen if I lost my job because they thought I was terrible?

  “Mena,” Judy whispered, just as I jumped from the front door opening, nearly cutting off a finger. Glancing to Judy, she added, “Breathe and calm down. They’ll love you like I do.” My eyes brimmed with tears. It had been so lon
g since someone said they loved me, and coming from Judy, a woman I looked up to, meant so much. She smiled sadly and patted my cheek, which Koda thought was funny, so he did it too. At least that put a smile on my face.

  “Hey, ladies, what’s shaking?” A tall woman, who was stunning, with long light-blonde hair and blue eyes strutted in. She gave Judy a hug before standing next to the bench eyeing me.

  “Mena, meet Deanna, or as the boys like to call her Hell Mouth,” Judy introduced.

  “Hi,” I said hesitantly with a small smile, only it vanished when her eyes narrowed on me.

  “Who are you, and what do you have to do with Dive?”

  Oh, I got it. Dive must have been his biker name. Still, if it was, why Dive? It didn’t make sense.

  “I’m, um, I look after Koda when Kalen is at work. I also do the housework.”

  “You fuck Dive over, us women will come down on your arse. He’s been through enough. He doesn’t need—”

  “Deanna, that’s enough,” Judy snapped. “You do not come in here and threaten Mena. She does an amazing job, and I won’t have you scaring her off.”

  I stuck my chin out and glared at Deanna myself. “And I would never do anything to hurt Koda or Kalen.”

  “Yep, she’ll do.” The change threw me off. I dipped my brows when she smiled. “Give me some cutie pie. I need some Koda lovin’.” She reached out for Koda, but he cringed back into his nanna’s arms.

  “He’s still funny with people he doesn’t see much,” I explained.

  “I’ll bring him outside in a second. Meet you out there, Deanna,” Judy said. Deanna rolled her eyes and did as Judy said. Before Judy left, she turned to me and said, “She’s all talk, that girl. I met her once a long time ago, and her bark is bigger than her bite. Don’t let her talk shit to you. Stand up for yourself with these women. Get me?” she asked.

  “Yes. Thank you, Judy.”

  “Anytime, love.” She smiled and then headed out with Koda while I finished the fruit salad. We’d already made pasta, Greek and potato salad. Then with the fruit, for after lunch, we’d made a mud cake, an orange and poppy seed cake, and a cheesecake. For the kids, there were some brownies and cookies.

  I had hoped the rest of the people out the front would have walked around to the backyard, but I knew I had no such luck when the front door opened to three women, all gorgeous in their own way and all different.

  “Hi.” The one with long wavy dark hair smiled. “I’m Zara and married to Talon. This is Low, who will be getting hitched to Dodge, Dive’s best friend,” she explained, pointing to the black woman. “And that’s Clary. She’s with Blue and is expecting.” Clary waved.

  “Hi, it’s great to meet you all,” I said and then slid the cantaloupe into the large serving bowl with the rest of the fruit. After wiping my hands, I added, “I’m Philomena, but everyone calls me Mena.”

  “I hear you’re Koda’s nanny and their housekeeper. How are you finding working with Dive?” Clary asked.

  Biting my bottom lip, I gulped and then said, “It’s good. Koda is the best baby. Did you hear he’s crawling now? Has been for a little bit. He’s into a lot more than usual. I’m sure you can all imagine. I saw all the children outside.”

  “Okay. We’ll get to the part about you not mentioning Dive in any of that. But right now, I own two of the mob of kids, Rommy and Tex. Well, they’re Dodge’s niece and nephew, but we have custody over them when their bitch of a mum kicked the bucket. The rest belong to Zara. There’s Maya, Cody, then the twins, Drake and Ruby. She’s just recently popped out another, but that’s her brother’s baby,” Low said before she popped a piece of watermelon in her mouth.

  What parallel universe just walked in the front door?

  Zara had a baby to her brother?

  Clary and Zara started laughing, and Low asked, “What?”

  Shaking her amused head, Zara explained, “She wasn’t really my brother’s baby, but my brother’s husband’s baby. My brother is gay. Of course, they can’t have kids, so I offered to have one for them. Which is also why they aren’t here today. Plus, they’re minding Deanna’s two children.”

  I gushed, “That is so nice of you. What’s her name?”

  “Aeila.” Zara smiled.

  “That’s really beautiful.”

  “They picked well.” Clary nodded.

  “Anyway,” Low started. “Back to Dive. You told us how things are with Koda. What about Dive?”

  “Um…” Thankfully, the front door opened, or not so thankful when four good-looking, but large, scary men walked in.

  “Yo,” the one who came up and stood behind Zara said to me.

  “Hi,” I squeaked.

  “Where’s my woman at?” the older one asked.

  The women shrugged, so I stepped up and said, “Ah, if you mean Deanna, she went outside after she threatened me.”

  The man actually chuckled. “She can’t help herself.” He shook his head and headed outside. My eyes followed him. When I turned back, all the other men’s eyes were trained on me.

  Can somebody say EEEK?

  “Mena.” Zara caught my attention. “Behind me is Talon. That’s Dodge and Blue. The one who left was Griz. I promise they look rougher than what they are.”

  “Okay,” I drew out. The men chuckled.

  The front door opened again, and a younger woman walked in with a smile on her scarred face. Even with the scar going from the corner of her mouth up to her cheekbone, she was stunning.

  “Men out. We have things to talk about,” Low announced. The men grumbled about bossy women getting their arses tanned. Still, they listened and headed out back, which actually made me smile. Big tough bikers doing what their women wanted. It was very sweet, not that I would ever mention it to the men’s faces.

  “Mena, Nary. Nary, Mena. Dive’s housekeeper and Koda’s nanny,” Low rushed out. “Right, down to business. How’s it been with Dive, not Koda. Just Dive?”

  I shrugged and looked to the bench.

  “Tell us if we’re being too bossy,” Clary offered.

  “Why in the fuck are all the women in here, and I wasn’t invited?” Deanna yelled.

  “Shush you. We’ve already heard about you threatening Mena—”

  Interrupting, I said, “No, it wasn’t a threat as such—”

  “Yeah, it was.” Deanna grinned. “But you passed, plus she has a green flag from Judy. I was out back, and all she could talk about was Mena this, Mena that. I had to come in here just to get away.”

  Low clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Can we all just stop talking, besides Mena telling us about Dive?”

  “Good call.” Deanna nodded. “Spill, woman.”

  Sighing, I said, “There’s nothing to say. I’m his employee. He pays me to take care of the house and his son. I cook, I clean, and—”

  “Stop!” Deanna barked.

  “You mean to say he ain’t made a move on you?”

  “Dee, it’s only been a year since Simone passed.” Zara glared.

  Deanna rolled her eyes.

  “Oh, God. Koda’s mum died?”

  Nary’s hand came over mine. “You didn’t know?”

  Shaking my head, I whispered, “No. We don’t talk, honestly.”

  The front door opened once again, and Kalen came in with another woman and two other bikers; they both looked like they would kill anyone if they breathed the wrong way.

  The woman came up to Nary and placed her hand around her waist. Nary’s arm went around her shoulders.

  Dive stepped up and barked, “Things ready for lunch?”

  “Yes.” I nodded. He grunted and kept walking out the back with the other two bikers.

  “Oh, shit.” Low whistled in the silent room after all the men had once again left.

  “Is he always like that?” the new woman with red hair asked. “Sorry, I’m Josie and the two men you saw are Calen and Eli, also known as Pick and Billy.”

  �
��Mena, and yes, he’s always like that.”

  The room fell silent again. All women in their own thoughts.

  “Josie also forgot to mention the men she said are hers, as in she’s bonking the both of them,” Deanna blurted.

  My eyes widened, and everyone started laughing.

  It was just what we needed, and somehow I knew Deanna knew that, because when I looked at her, she winked.

  The day was amazing. I loved all of Kalen’s friends. They couldn’t get over the fact I called him Kalen. But I said I found it strange to call him Dive since I didn’t know he was a biker. Then I asked why his biker name was Dive. All women laughed around me, even Judy. Then Zara said, “You don’t want to know, or better yet, you should ask him.”

  They were so different in personality, yet, they all complemented each other. When one got too much, either Deanna or Low, the others brought them back down. They were wonderful. I was glad Kalen had people like them around him, but I didn’t understand why he moved away from it. I knew Zara, Clary, and Deanna were in Ballarat, but the others were close to Kalen, and I could tell they thought highly of him. Some of the stories I heard… didn’t describe the man I knew. They described someone with a lot of laughter in his life, a man who loved trouble, but in a good way.

  Losing Simone, who was also Josie’s best friend, really did something to him.

  That kind of pain I could understand. Had felt even, and still felt some days.

  It just seemed to fester inside of Kalen.

  Later, after I put Koda down for his nap, which was the only nap he now had during the day, I was walking down the hall towards the kitchen when I paused, hearing male voices.

  “Mena’s pretty hot.” I recognised Dodge’s voice. I rolled my eyes.

  A snort answered. “If you like the type who annoys the hell out of you, with a voice that irritates me every time she talks. Who’s always lookin’ scraggly and is putting on weight like a fuckin’ freight train? Sure.”

  Arching my shoulders in defeat, my head dropped forward. With watery eyes to the floor, my hands wrapped around my stomach. Each word was like a knife to the gut, a new stab wound each time he put me down. My heart, not wanting to be left out, felt as though a hot poker was being slashed at my skin across my chest.