Shameful Scars: (Scars Book Three)

by A L Williams

  Jamie opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, Gabriel’s androgynous voice filled the silence. “I will wait outside.”

  I gaped at them as they walked out. I had expected more of a fight.

  Jamie sat down across from me. “Do you have to be so hostile?”

  I snapped my head towards him. “They tried to kill you and Cory.”

  The day Gabriel and Lucy came out of nowhere, everything changed. All of us had almost died from Gabriel’s crazy rampage, and Cory didn’t have anything to do with any of it. Anger rose in me once again as I glared at the swinging doors where Gabriel had disappeared.

  “They are harmless now,” Lucy said, moving up to the table.

  “I don’t care. They shouldn’t be here.” I crossed my arms in front of my chest. Lucy didn’t respond.

  Andrew and Detective Skyler came through the doors, dressed in their Detective gear with their badges and guns at their waist. Skyler towered over Andy by several inches, and Andy was already huge. If I was honest with myself, I would have climbed Skyler like a tree a long time ago, but there was something closed off in him that I didn’t like. We all had our secrets, but the way he slipped on his mask unsettled me. Plus, I was pretty sure he had a thing for Cory.

  “Now that everyone’s here, show us what you found,” Andy said.

  I turned, reached into the backpack at my feet and pulled out the branch—still shimmering with warm light. I put it on the table. Lucifer’s eyes widened, and he quickly moved closer, running his hand over the grain. “The Tree of Life.”

  I blinked. “What?”

  He turned to me. “It’s a branch from the Tree of Life.”

  “How did it get in the group home?” Jamie asked.

  Lucifer rubbed his bearded chin. “You said there was a child missing?”

  I nodded. “They don’t know how he got out. All the doors were locked, and the window had bars on it.”

  Lucifer looked down at the branch and picked it up, studying it closely. He turned back to us.

  Andy frowned. “Looks like we’re going to have to postpone our trip.”

  Jamie’s shoulders slumped, and Lucifer’s face was trained into indifference.

  “Wait. Wait,” Skyler said. “That’s a bit drastic.”

  ‘We have a situation to deal with,” Andy said, turning to his partner.

  “Yeah, but we don’t even know what it is yet. You’re not getting out of going on your honeymoon. You’ve put it off for months.”

  I smiled. I had been thinking the same. When Jamie and Andy married things weren’t back to normal. The supernatural world was still in chaos after the world almost ended, so they’d put off the honeymoon until now. Once they had planned this out, Adam and Andy came up with the idea to have a couple’s trip. This was my job, and it didn’t need to interfere with their long-awaited honeymoon.

  “Ben—” Andy started.

  “Nope. You’re going. You’ll be a phone call away. Bidh a h-uile dad gu math. Everything will be fine,” Skyler said, glaring at Andy in a challenge.

  Andy shook his head and smirked. “Alright.”

  I glanced at Jamie and Lucy. Both of them seemed to be in better moods.

  “If anything happens, let us know,” Andy said. Ben nodded with his best million-dollar smile.

  Jamie placed his hand over mine. “Go home and get some sleep.”

  I smiled warmly and stood.

  Lucifer moved closer. “Do you want me to take you home?”

  I shook my head. “Stay.” The last thing I wanted was Gabriel off their leash. I turned to Jamie. “I will be back tomorrow night to help you pack.” I wanted to spend some time with him before he left. This would be the first time I wouldn’t see him for days straight since we met several years ago. He smiled, and we said goodbye.

  When I stepped out of the kitchen, Gabriel stood at the glass doors of the patio, staring off into the night. I froze as they peered back at me, their white eyes emitting a soft glow. They were engulfed in shadow, but their eyes saw right through me.

  Their face was expressionless, but there was something in their gaze that I couldn’t place. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as they drifted closer, moving as if they weren’t touching the ground—which was crazy. They didn’t have their wings anymore.

  I continued to glare at them even when they halted in front of me, my blood boiling hotter by the minute. Cory’s catatonic expression and Jamie’s pain all those years ago flashed in my mind. Gabriel had done that. They had hurt those I loved. They hurt me.

  You’re hurting me.

  You like it.

  I bit the inside of my cheek. “Do you have any other expression?” I spat. They blinked but remained silent. I scoffed. The urge to punch them rushed through me. I needed to get out of here before I got violent. I stormed out of the house, calling a Lyft.

  The next night, I sat on the edge of James and Andrew’s bed, watching Jamie pull an assortment of his usual black wardrobe from the closet. “When are you going to get better clothes, Jamie?”

  He walked over and threw the stack of clothing on the bed. “My clothes are fine.”

  I huffed. “You are supposed to be gay, Jamie.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Don’t stereotype. Not all gay men are into fashion.”

  “I suppose you’re right, but still. You need better clothes.”

  He walked over to the dresser. I watched him in silence, going over the events of yesterday in my head. The child was still missing, and Andrew and Ben weren’t having any luck. My stomach tightened. What if we never found him? He could be forced into sex trafficking or raped and left for dead.

  “Hayley! Breathe!” Jamie said, breaking through the fog of my thoughts. I inhaled a gulp of air and gasped. “Are you alright?” Jamie kneeled at my feet, searching my face with concern.

  I smiled weakly. “Yeah, I just got lost in thought.”

  “You were panicking.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He wrinkled his brow. “I know panic when I see it. Talk to me. What is wrong? Is it about the missing child?”

  I clenched my jaw, remembering two years ago when Jamie would freak out and refuse to tell me why. I now understood why, being that he was the son of Satan, with some serious firepower and wings to match. I really didn’t want to talk about it, but I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t.

  I exhaled. “I’m worried.”

  He reached out and touched my hand on my knee. He didn’t say a word, which I was grateful for. “I need to find him.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. “I have to,” I whispered.

  “You blame yourself.”

  I looked down at my hand, still tightly gripping my thigh. “I failed Eden. I can’t fail Bobby, too.”

  Jamie’s eyes widened. “That wasn’t your fault.”

  I looked away. “Wasn’t it?”

  When I got to the hospital, I asked for Adam, and he treated her. For a while I thought she would survive, but she didn’t. I knew logically that there was nothing I could do. Even so, I was supposed to protect her.

  “No. That was outside of our power.” He paused and looked away, then back to me. “You can’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

  I chuckled bitterly. “Déjà vu.”

  He laughed. “Yeah. It doesn’t make it any less true.”

  “So when are you coming back?” I asked.

  He glared at me but didn’t push. It was a good thing because I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t snap at him. I was on edge.

  “We’ll be back in six weeks.”

  “That long?”

  Jamie shrugged. “Andrew had a lot of vacation time saved up, and he wanted to take advantage of the time. Plus, he felt bad for putting off the honeymoon.”

  I bobbed my head, looking back down at my hands; they had relaxed a bit. Jamie stood up. “I’ll be a phone call away. If anything happens, we can be back in seconds, but remember you have Gabriel here
to help.”

  I grimaced. “I don’t need their help.”

  Jamie sighed. “They have proven they will not hurt anyone.”

  “You don’t know that. People don’t change, Jamie.”

  “My father did.”

  I balled my hand on my lap. He was right. Lucy had been the big bad that led to the banishment of man from Eden, but he was good under all of that, and ever since he found Adam, he had changed for the better. Even so, Lucy didn’t try to kill us. He didn’t hurt Cory. I didn’t respond, knowing that Jamie would not let this go.

  Jamie watched me for a moment. I didn’t meet his gaze, not wanting to see whatever look he was giving me. It was either judgement or pity; knowing Jamie it was probably the latter.

  “People change, Hayley.” He didn’t say another word.

  Downstairs, the door opened. “I’m home!” Andy shouted. Jamie tucked the last bit of clothes into the luggage. I grabbed a bag, and Jamie grabbed the rest.

  When we got downstairs, Andy, Lucy, and Adam stood in the living room, talking. They turned as we entered. Jamie walked over and kissed Andy’s cheek. “Are you ready?” Jamie asked.

  Andy nodded and looked to his adopted brother, Adam. It was still surreal that they had grown up together. I could see some similarities in the way they acted. From what Jamie and Lucy said, the Coltons were a piece of work. I just about went to Atlanta and ripped them a new one for kicking out a kid and abandoning their son.

  “We’re ready,” Adam said. He turned, and Lucy nodded his approval. They stood together, not touching, but I saw the magnetism between them.

  Since that day in the hospital, when I brought in Eden, their chemistry was obvious. They fought it the whole way, but thankfully, they gave in. I didn’t know Adam well at the time, but my chest swelled with pride when I was told that Adam came out. He had been denying who he was for years. I couldn’t relate. I was the type who told the world to fuck off and take me as I am, but I felt for his struggle, nonetheless.

  Jamie walked over to me. “Remember. We are only a phone call away.”

  I smiled. “Get the hell to that hotel so your husband can fuck your brains out.” I glanced at Lucy and Adam. “You, too.”

  Jamie and Adam flushed. Lucy and Andrew smirked. “Yes, ma’am,” Andrew said.

  With that, Jamie and Lucy released their wings, spreading them above. Jamie's wings encircled him in black feathers and Lucy’s ivory wings glistened in the orange rays of the setting sun flooding the room from the glass patio doors.

  I waved as their wings curled around them and their men. They vanished from the room. I locked up and left, calling a ride.

  Chapter Four

  Gabriel

  This was becoming extremely inconvenient. Why were they leaving? I understood that Andrew and James were going on a honeymoon, which I had learned is a trip the newlyweds go on after the wedding. Theirs was just postponed. I suppose I understood that, but why were Lucifer and Adam doing it? It did not make sense.

  “Do not fret. We will only be a phone call or teleport away,” Lucifer said, breaking through my thoughts.

  I scowled. “You’re not even married. Why go?”

  Lucifer turned to me. “We were invited, and we just want to spend some time together and some time with my son and his husband.”

  “Why can you not just do that here?”

  “Too many distractions.”

  I still did not get it, but I nodded.

  Lucifer sighed. “Just keep an eye on things. Wherever that branch came from, it is not a good omen.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I do not know, but one thing is for sure: something is going to happen. I need you to keep an eye on things. Work with Detective Skyler and see to it that Hayley does not do something foolish.”

  That girl was ridiculous. She always ran in head-first without thinking. She was… I frowned at the weird feeling in my chest. These sensations were really starting to get out of hand. “I will do what I can.”

  Lucifer studied me for a moment and opened his mouth. Before he could say whatever it was, Adam and his roommate, Sebastian, came out of the hall with two suitcases. “Have fun,” Sebastian chimed, waggling his eyebrows. I tilted my head and he glanced at me with a smirk, sauntering out of the room. That fox shifter was strange.

  “Remember what I said, Gabriel,” Lucifer said. I thinned my lips, a bad feeling settling in my gut. We left the apartment.

  Sometime later, Lucifer and Adam were ready to depart. Before I took my leave, Lucifer informed me the girl would be present and to keep my distance. Hayley had every right to be suspicious of me. I had hurt her and many others when I attacked all those years ago. Looking back now, I was not sure why I took it that far. My anger had consumed so much of my being I did not recognize the person I was.

  I had let my actions go and accepted my fate, but for some reason the girl’s hostility towards me was...bothersome. The sun dipped low in the sky and shadows shifted along the city streets. I walked, observing the people going about their day.

  Humans were so simple. They woke, worked, ate, and slept.

  From the corner of my eye, I spotted a family exiting a large minivan. They smiled and laughed as they walked into the building, holding hands as they went. My chest tightened, and I grimaced.

  So simple.

  I continued on my way, and I found myself at the park again. I came here so many times. I walked along the winding path and stopped at an empty space where I had first shown my true form to James and Hayley. The memory was still fresh in my mind's eye.

  “Son of The Fallen.”

  “Who are you?” Hayley said.

  I turned to the girl, her eyes wide with confusion. My eyes dropped to her lips, and she licked them.

  I swallowed. “Gabriel.”

  “Leave us alone. We have nothing to do with this,” James said.

  “This has everything to do with you, abomination.”

  The memory faded as quickly as it had come. Guilt swirled inside of me. There was no time for regret. It was what it was, and there was no point in such emotions.

  A yowl caught my attention, and I looked down. The cat was sitting at my side, staring up at me. I sighed and walked over to a nearby bench and sat, watching the remaining people walk to their cars. The cat hopped up and sat beside me. I do not know how long I sat there, but the sun had finally disappeared behind the jagged cliffs of dust and weeds when I left.

  Chapter Five

  Hayley

  A week later, Ben still hadn’t found the child or figured how the branch had gotten there in his place. I kept it hidden, hoping that whoever left it came looking for it. No one did. Jamie and the others were still on their trip and having a great time.

  The fluorescent lights above me shone down, making my eyes sting. I hadn’t gotten much sleep, my slumber plagued with nightmares about Bobby.

  I sat slumped in my chair in the lecture hall, trying to keep my eyes open. Jesús was sitting to the left of me and Ashley to the right. We had been friends for a few years. I had met Jesús and Ashley when they needed tutoring for a freshman year math class, and we became friends quickly. They could handle how extra I was—even more so than Jamie.

  I stared down the tiered seating with long desks in front of sets of chairs. At the head of the classroom, a whiteboard and projector sat behind a large desk where Prof. McKenzie stood, going over the last part of the day's lecture. Her long, raven hair swung behind her as she paced back and forth in front of the class.

  I frowned. I had thought I was done with her when I transferred from Pima, but she had been hired as a professor at the university. So I was stuck with her for the next two years—fan-fucking-tastic. She was a bitch to me, and I really wasn’t looking forward to the final years of my education.

  Jesús leaned over. “So, I haven’t seen you at Lock N’ Key. Usually you’re there once a week.”

  “I’ve been busy with other things,” I whispered
.

  Prof. McKenzie shot us a look, and the other students looked back. “Is there an issue, Ms. McDonald? Would you like to tell the class what’s so interesting that you feel the need to talk during class?” I looked at Jesús who had straightened, and then to Ashley who pushed her face further into her book.

  Traitors.

  I narrowed my eyes and looked back at Prof. McKenzie. “No,” I said.

  Her frown deepened. “See me after class.” I flopped back in my chair, and she started talking again.

  When I peered at the clock, I saw that we still had another thirty minutes left in class. I groaned internally, wanting this day to be over already. I wanted to talk to Ben and see if he had found anything yet. Time ticked by as the class dragged on.

  “I want you to pick something and use sociological methods to research that subject. You will be presenting to the class on Monday. Have a good weekend, everyone,” Ms. McKenzie said, thirty minutes later.

  Everyone flooded the steps and exited through the double doors at the back of the class. I sighed heavily as Jesús and Ashley said goodbye and left the room. When I looked towards Prof. McKenzie her eyes scanned stacks of assignments. I grabbed my backpack and trudged down the steps, really wanting to run the other way. Once I stopped in front of her desk, I waited for her to look up.

  “I would appreciate it if you didn’t use class time for personal conversations,” she said, without looking up.

  I huffed. “I wasn’t—”

  She looked up at me and leaned back in her seat. “I don’t want your excuses. This is your grade. Not mine. You’re excused.”

  I turned away and muttered, “You really need to get laid.”

  “What was that?” she asked. I looked back, and she was glaring daggers at me. I tensed, feeling her eyes burning my skin.

  A sore subject, I thought. “Nothing.”

  “Have a good weekend, Ms. McDonald,” she said. I left.

  I stepped out into the sun. A rush of fresh air hit me as I eyed the sidewalks. Groups of students rushed along, disappearing into buildings. The roads were packed with bumper-to-bumper traffic, cars honking and sirens screeching in the distance. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I requested a Lyft, and then I called Ben.