Punishing The Players (Spiritual Discipline Book 1)

by Ivy Barrett

  They lapsed into silence, tense, yet filled with longing.

  “This lesson has been pretty damn perfect. Maybe it’s better if we leave it alone.” He tangled his hand in the back of her hair and kissed her, long and slow. The taste of her pleasure lingered in his mouth, an inescapable reminder of his selflessness.

  “I really don’t mind—”

  “I do.” He released her hair and stepped back from the bed, hands clenched at his sides. “If I unzip these jeans, all bets are off. I’ll fuck you until neither of us can walk.”

  All bets are off. He hadn’t met the phrase literally, but it shook her just the same. She wanted him, really wanted him. And not just for tonight. She wanted to see if there was any hope of a future together. It was foolish and naive. She knew what he was like, but that didn’t keep her heart from aching.

  “You’re right.” She scooted back toward the headboard, dragging the sheet with her. Tonight had been far more emotional than she’d expected, but it wasn’t a complete loss. She hadn’t let him fuck her and she hadn’t begged for his love like some insecure doormat. Still, she needed to reestablish their roles. And more than anything, she needed to refocus on the fact that it was all a game. “Can we schedule lesson two?”

  He’d pulled on his T-shirt and was leaning against the doorjamb, struggling into his boots. “Can we renegotiate the terms of our agreement?”

  It was only natural that he wouldn’t want to subject himself to another session like tonight. “You want something more mutually satisfying?”

  After stomping into his final boot, he straightened and looked at her. “Can you blame me?”

  “Not at all.” She’d offered to take care of him, but she didn’t remind him of the offer. He was obviously determined to keep his promise. “During lesson two, I’ll satisfy you with my mouth, my hands, or my breasts.”

  She was proud of her candor until she heard his reply. “But your pussy and ass are still off limits?”

  She had to string him along, give him just enough to make him desperate for more. That was what he’d been doing for years. Offering his body while keeping his heart securely locked away. “During lesson two.” She shrugged, allowing the sheet to sag just a little. “Lesson three will require another negotiation.”

  “You’re learning fast.” His gaze gleamed and his jaw clenched. He hadn’t meant it as a compliment. “You come to me next time. I want to show you my playroom.”

  Just the thought of all the things he could do to her in his playroom made her burn all over again. “When?”

  “Take a couple of days to process everything. And to let me do the same.” He made it sound ominous as his gaze had turned stormy. This was the world he lived in, casual sex and mutual pleasure without emotional entanglements. So why did he seem pissed off?

  “Wednesday night?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to understand the emotions seething behind his calm expression.

  “Arrive at eight in nothing but a trench coat if you still want to play.”

  She nodded, her mouth too dry for words.

  He acknowledged her agreement with a stiff incline of his head then left the room.

  Collapsing onto her side, she covered her face with both hands and trembled. She’d done it. She’d kept his interest without giving him what he wanted.

  But their battle of wills had just begun.

  Fyn lingered in the shadow realm undetectable to humans. His being hummed with the energy he’d just consumed and yet he’d barely begun to sate his hunger. Each emotion created a slightly different “flavor”. Passion reminded Fyn of Cajun food, spicy and hot, while uncertainty tasted smoky like overcooked bacon. When emotions combined or conflicted, they created complex layers of energy, like a slow-simmered stew filled with harmonizing components.

  Pulses of just such energy radiated off Katie. She was confused and uncertain, yet physically satisfied. He could have warned her that the bet was off, that Josiah’s interest in her was real. But that would have defused the conflict and Josiah would have escaped retribution for his past callousness.

  No, it was better, even necessary, for the misconception to remain. Josiah and Chase deserved this lesson. Even if Katie did not.

  She seemed so small, so helpless curled up like a child. Yet he could still see her face and the arch of her shapely body as Josiah fucked her with his fingers. Fyn didn’t desire Katie in the human sense, but he had never felt so alone. He longed for a companion, someone with whom he could share these adventures.

  He tried to shake away the haze, but the emotions lingered. Their marathon lesson had summoned feelings Fyn could barely recognize. He filtered emotions, straining out the energy without experiencing the bittersweet ache or dizzying rush of joy. So why had this situation been different? He wasn’t used to being affected by the chaos he created.

  Unwilling to analyze the cause, Fyn allowed his physical body to form. “Are you all right?”

  “I thought you weren’t going to watch what happened tonight.” She lowered her hands from her face and found the pillows. Tossing them against the headboard, she scooted back and rested against them.

  “You knew I’d watch. Why pretend you don’t enjoy an audience. We both know better.” He smiled, but there was no conviction behind the expression “It was touch and go there for a while, but you managed to keep all of the balls in the air.” He laughed at his unintentional quip. “Probably could have picked a better metaphor.”

  “I’m still not sure who won that round.” She indulged in an exaggerated sigh. “I am so out of my league.”

  He sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her hand. Desperate for comfort, she scooted forward and placed her head on his shoulder. Her energy sank into him from each place they touched. He wasn’t intentionally feeding. He was just too hungry to resist. Again he absorbed more than energy. He felt her loneliness and frustration at not being able to resist Josiah’s charisma.

  Disconcerted by the strength of their connection, Fyn eased back and lifted her chin with the curve of his index finger. “It might not be a clear victory, but you survived. So let’s analyze the battle so you can fight another day.” He winked at her and the tension began to dissipate. “Josiah seems genuinely conflicted. I think you’re getting to him.”

  Another pang of guilt assailed Fyn’s composure. He stubbornly suppressed the pesky emotion. He had just begun to extract energy from this situation. He couldn’t afford to move on without digging deeper. Besides, Katie wanted to explore her sexuality, and Josiah and Chase were masterful teachers. There was no harm in letting them play. If Katie had been less enthusiastic with the men, Fyn would have sought out a new conflict.

  “Unfortunately, it goes both ways,” she told him. “I know he’s a player, that he has no real interest in me, but it doesn’t seem to matter. I’m having a really hard time not wanting this to be more than a game.”

  “That’s understandable. You’ve never been this intimate with anyone before. Dillon might have taken pleasure from your body, but he never really shared himself with you. Josiah is making you feel all sorts of things, and many of them aren’t just physical. You’re comfortable with him. You trust him.”

  “I like him.” She sagged against the pillows, careful to keep the sheet in place. “He’s the worst sort of user. I never expected to like him.”

  “Do you need another look inside his mind?”

  “I don’t think it’d help. The last time wasn’t enough to keep my heart from opening to him. More of the same will just make me feel like a fool.” She shook her head. “I can’t stop the feelings, but at least I’m aware that they’re wrong.”

  Fyn paused, plagued by a conscience he hadn’t realized he possessed. If she was no longer willing, he needed to give her an out. “You don’t have to continue this. Leave him a note on Tuesday and tell him you’ve changed your mind.”

  She considered it for a moment, then shook her head again. “He wouldn’t let it go with a note. He’d knock o
n my front door two minutes later and probably bring Chase with him. The only hope I have is to stick to the rules for each lesson, and then hit him with the truth just when he thinks I’ll finally let him have what he really wants.”

  Fyn strolled to the front window and gazed across the street. Was Josiah as disconcerted as poor Katie? Fyn hadn’t expected things to heat up quite this rapidly.

  “You never explained exactly what they have to do to win the bet.” She waited until he looked at her to continue. “Is it the first one to actually sleep with me, or is it something more subjective?”

  “They weren’t specific.” He cringed, shocked by his own reaction. Lies had never bothered him before. Dishonesty was his stock and trade. But he’d promised Katie that he’d be honest with her.

  And for the first time since Katie had met him, she didn’t believe him. She didn’t call him on the lie, but he could feel suspicion emanating off her.

  Something unseen yet tangible swooshed toward him, or actually barreled through him. He gasped and swayed, barely catching his balance.

  “Are you all right?” She sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest.

  He laughed. “I think your grandmother just told me to leave.”

  Katie tensed even more, her gaze suddenly sad. “Gran can’t stand liars. Is there something you need to tell me?”

  Unsure what he wanted to do and unbalanced by the unfamiliar emotions, Fyn retreated. “I never argue with a ghost. I’ll check in again before you head over Wednesday night.”

  Fyn flashed out of sight before Katie could argue, which only compounded her mistrust. He remained in the shadow realm to study her reaction. Maybe her response would help him understand his own.

  He’s holding out on me. She could think of no other explanation and it had to be something important or her grandmother wouldn’t have reacted the way she had.

  “Do you know what he’s hiding?” She looked around as if she expected a reply. He was under the impression they could only communicate through dreams. Katie felt a tingling warmth that helped her relax. “I love you too, Gran. And I miss you every day. Thanks for the warning.”

  This was just what he needed, a meddlesome ghost. As if live humans weren’t challenging enough.

  Chapter Eight

  The next two days were routine for Katie. She focused on work and refused to think about her troublesome neighbors. Fyn left her alone, which only compounded her suspicion that he was hiding something from her. He’d been the driving force behind her involvement in this debacle, but now that she was in the middle of it, she was determined to see it through. With or without the alien’s help, she was going to teach these men an important lesson. That was the problem with Fyn. One never really knew where his loyalties lay.

  Wednesday morning was particularly busy, which helped the time pass quickly. She walked into the waiting area, prepared to call the next patient when someone spoke her name. Katie didn’t recognize the voice so she turned to see who had spoken.

  Vanessa stood beside the front desk, looking utterly out of place in a short, cherry-red skirt, white silk blouse, and sky-high pumps. Did the woman even own a pair of sensible shoes? This was a hospital not a nightclub. “I’m really busy, Vanessa. Unless you’re here for a mammogram, I don’t have time for you.”

  “Five minutes. That’s all I ask.”

  Katie closed her eyes and forced the tension in her shoulders to relax. She didn’t need this today and at work of all places. Slowly opening her eyes, she carefully guarded her tone. “I can break for lunch after this patient, but you’ll have to wait until I’m finished with her. She’s a paying customer. You’re not.”

  One of her shoulders raised in an infinitesimal shrug. “I’ll wait.”

  Katie plastered on a professional smile and called the patient’s name. The middle-aged woman needed a simple set of wrist x-rays so it wasn’t even necessary for her to change into a hospital gown. The entire procedure took less than ten minutes. Still, Katie hoped to heaven Vanessa would be gone when she returned. She told her coworkers she was taking her lunch break, then went back to the waiting area.

  Vanessa perched on the edge of one of the chairs as if she was afraid it would soil her skirt. Not an unreasonable concern. Katie smiled. The hospital had been founded more than a century ago and had always been one of Denver’s busiest medical facilities.

  “I’ve only got thirty minutes, so you’ll have to talk while we walk.”

  Vanessa fell into step beside her, but didn’t say anything until they reached the bustling cafeteria. “Can’t we go somewhere a little less...noisy?” She looked around with such distain, it made Katie chuckle.

  “Not your usual scene?”

  “It’s not that,” she said with enough conviction to convince Katie she was sincere. “We need to talk about something personal. I don’t want to shout over the noise.”

  “Well, I’m starving and there isn’t enough time to go somewhere else. It’s this or nothing.”

  “Fine.” She huffed and entered the chaotic room.

  A small group of scrub-clad workers vacated a table in one corner of the eating area. “Go grab that table before someone else does. I’ll meet you there.” Vanessa nodded and turned to obey. “Do you want anything to eat?” It was a stupid question. What little Vanessa ate obviously didn’t come from a cafeteria.

  “An ice tea would be lovely.”

  “I’ll be right back.” The cafeteria personnel were used to the midday rush, so the line moved quickly. Katie chose a premade sandwich from the cooler to speed the process even more.

  “Is it always like this?” Vanessa wrinkled her nose as Katie set down the food-laden tray and slid onto the opposite chair.

  After handing Vanessa her ice tea, Katie pulled the tray closer. “So what brings you to my neck of the woods?” As if she didn’t know. The only thing they had in common was Chase. And he was far less of a commonality than Vanessa realized.

  “That was quite a show you put on the other night.” Her tone was filled with scorn.

  “You came all this way to scold me?” She picked up her sandwich, but paused before she took a bite. “Message delivered. Now leave so I can enjoy my lunch.”

  “I came to warn you.” Vanessa scooted her chair closer to the table and lowered her voice as much as possible. “They seem kind and charming on the surface, but they’re not. They’re both cold and selfish.”

  Katie froze, sandwich still in hand. Did Vanessa know about their bets? Had one of her friends been the target of these cruel games? “I’m down to fifteen minutes. You need to get to the point.”

  “They toy with people for their own amusement.”

  “That sounds ominous. Can you be a little more specific?”

  Her chest rose and fell, then her gaze narrowed. “Before Chase met me, he and Josiah used to wager on potential lovers. They’d mutually agree upon a target, then bet on who could seduce them first.”

  “What does this have to do with me?” Carefully setting down her sandwich, she slipped her hands under the table. She was shaking and she didn’t want to give herself away.

  Vanessa’s delicate brows arched in silent challenge. “You’re a smart girl. I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out. I’m pretty sure you are their current target.”

  “Which means it would take a bet to make me desirable?” She sounded remarkably calm when inside she was dying. “Do you realize how arrogant you sound?”

  “I’m trying to protect you, not embarrass you. They moved in, what four or five years ago. Why the sudden interest in—”

  “Someone like me?” Anger burned through her humiliation as she frantically blinked back tears. “Thanks for stopping by. You’re always such a joy.” She stood, but Vanessa grabbed her wrist.

  “Do you know why we broke up?”

  “I didn’t know we were together.” Rather than make a scene, Katie eased her arm out of Vanessa’s grip and returned to her chair. Then she picked up her sandw
ich and took a bite while Vanessa glared at her.

  “I meant me and Chase and you know it.”

  Unwilling to prolong the pointless conversation, Katie took the wind out of Vanessa’s sails. “You asked Chase to stop sleeping with Josiah and even though he did, you couldn’t deal with the fact that it had happened at all or that it might happen again.”

  Vanessa’s eyes widened and her hostility melted into something murky and sad. “You don’t care that your lover is sleeping with another man?” She whispered the last with obvious distaste.

  Katie wiped her mouth with a paper napkin. Neither man was technically her lover, but getting into the details of their convoluted interaction would have been counterproductive to the conversation. “Does it bother you that he’s intimate with someone else or that the other person is male?”

  “Both. I shouldn’t have to share him.” Vanessa’s chin came up and she shifted to the side so she could cross her legs. And what legs they were, ridiculously long and well-toned, accented by her high heels.

  Suddenly Katie felt fat and dowdy all over again. “That’s unfortunate because Chase is still in love with you.”

  Vanessa didn’t have a clever response to that. “Then why are you with him?”

  “I’m not ‘with’ him. I went to a party with him. I enjoy spending time with him, but we aren’t even lovers, yet. Unless you count what happened in the parking lot and that was mostly for your benefit.”

  “You said ‘yet’, meaning you’ll sleep with him if he wants you to? Don’t you care that you’re likely the victim of their favorite game?”

  “I’m nobody’s victim.” She wanted to tell Vanessa that she knew about the bet and she was only flirting with them so they could learn what it felt like to be toyed with. Unfortunately, she didn’t trust Vanessa to keep her mouth shut. “If what you say is true—and I’m not convinced it is—they’ve targeted the wrong lover.” And that was all Vanessa needed to know.

  “Then you’ll stop seeing him?” Her features radiated hope.