Miracle Baby for the Midwife

by Tina Beckett

  “Fenders.”

  She leaned over and felt one of them. “I would have guessed bumpers.”

  “Well, they serve the same purpose. Thanks for the help.”

  She hated to admit it, but it was fun. There was a weird camaraderie between them that she’d never really experienced before. Not even with Kyle.

  She realized she’d been on the defensive with Adem more often than not in most of their earlier dealings. When had that started changing? Maybe with Naomi and her aneurism?

  She wasn’t sure. But something had definitely shifted.

  Maybe because you slept with the man, Carly.

  Was that really it? She didn’t think so. And this baby would link them forever.

  Forever.

  If someone had told her a year ago that she would be connected to Adem for the rest of her life, she would have said they were crazy.

  She hadn’t chosen this path, but now that she was here, she was going to make the best of it. So she walked over to the hamper, just as a swell picked the boat up and tilted it a bit.

  “Ooops!” She grabbed at the railing, only for an arm to wrap around her waist and haul her against him.

  She swallowed and glanced up over her shoulder to see Adem looking down at her, a slight frown on his face. “Are you okay?”

  “Just didn’t expect the boat to shift when it did, I guess. Sorry about that. I don’t think I would have fallen.”

  “Sea legs. You’ll get them as time goes on.”

  She wasn’t too sure of that, since they were feeling shakier by the minute. But that had nothing to do with the boat and everything to do with the man pressed against her. “Maybe I just need to sit for a second.”

  He led her over to one of the chairs and stood over her, the frown still in place. “Will you be okay while I go get the air moving?”

  A little frisson of contentment went through her, until she thought of those pep talks about being more like her mom. Adem was not always going to be there with her. At least, not like he was right now. “I’m fine. Really.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Adem went to the front and unzipped part of the cover and almost immediately a breeze washed over her. It was luscious. Cooling and refreshing, sliding over her bare shoulders and sifting through her hair.

  She tipped her head back. “Oh, that’s lovely. So very good.”

  “Yes, it definitely is.”

  When she glanced up, he was standing over her, his eyes smoldering with an intensity she recognized from his apartment. Oh, God. She swallowed, trying to calm her heart, which was suddenly racing out of control. “Thank you so much for bringing me out here. I love it.”

  He dragged a hand through his hair before turning away and grabbing the picnic hamper. “I’m glad. Are you hungry?”

  Surprisingly she was. She’d packed extra crackers just in case her morning sickness came back, but so far all was well. “I could definitely eat.”

  Adem quickly unpacked the basket onto a table screwed into the floor of the boat. Since the small table sat between their two chairs, it almost made it seem like an intimate dinner for two. All they lacked were candles.

  Ridiculous. This wasn’t some romantic meal. It was a planning session. Better if she remembered that fact.

  He set out the plates and the tins of meats and cheeses and fruit. “This looks good.”

  “In the States fried chicken is the normal fare for picnics, but I guess I’ve lived in England too long. This sounded more appetizing to me.”

  “In Turkey it would have been different as well. But you’re right. I’ve become accustomed to life here.”

  Would being with Adem become as normal as life in London? She couldn’t imagine that, but unless he changed his mind, they would be spending a lot of time together outside of the clinic. Would being without Adem feel strange and foreign?

  For her sake and his, she hoped not. It would not do to start thinking as if they’d been drawn together by anything other than the baby. If not for that, she would have spent one thrilling night and one naughty day with him. The odds were one of them would eventually leave the clinic and drift toward another job, taking with them the need for continued contact. It had happened with Kyle, despite his promises of them keeping in touch. Not that she wanted to since there was no longer anything binding them together.

  Things were different this time, though. Even if she returned to the States at some point in her life, Adem would still be her baby’s father. That was never going to change.

  “What are you thinking?”

  She looked at him. “About how strange it is to be sitting on a boat with you, getting ready to map out a future that I can’t even envision at the moment.”

  “I know.”

  “What about your parents? Surely this isn’t something you can keep from them forever.” She couldn’t imagine not telling her mom.

  He’d said something about them being old-fashioned. “They wouldn’t really expect you to marry me just because of the pregnancy?”

  “They came from a culture very different from this one.” He glanced over the bow as she dished out the food. “They actually didn’t marry for love.”

  “What?” Oh, God, had they married because his mom had gotten pregnant?

  “It was arranged. I know it’s hard to understand how things like that can happen from a Western point of view, but there are all kinds of reasons to get married. In their case, it benefited their families.”

  “Wow. Are they happy?” They had two children together, after all.

  “That’s a complicated question. They’ve been together for many years. I’m not sure that constitutes happiness, but it’s what they both know. I’m pretty sure my dad has had other women over the years, but I don’t know that for sure.”

  “If that’s the case, why would your mom stay?”

  “She’s the only one who can answer that. All I know is that I’ll never follow in their footsteps.”

  “You’re not ever going to get married?”

  “I never thought there’d be a reason to.”

  Before now.

  Had that thought just sifted through his mind like it had hers?

  “But your brother married.” Something about that made her incredibly sad. “What about love?”

  “If there is such a thing, I haven’t felt it.”

  Unfortunately for Carly, she was beginning to wonder if she might not be dangerously close to feeling that emotion.

  “I believe in it, even though my only serious relationship didn’t work out.” She was surprised that her breakup hadn’t tarnished that belief, but if anything it just made her aware of the need to tread with care around this man. Because the twinges she’d been feeling here and there...

  Twinges? Those were more like...

  No. Don’t think about that right now. The only kind of love she wanted was the type that a mom had for her baby. The love that she now felt for this little kidney bean she was carrying around inside of her.

  His next words interrupted her thoughts.

  “Let’s talk about the pregnancy. And to answer your earlier question, yes, I will probably have to tell my parents, but I’d rather do that after the baby is born.”

  The thought of being at home and delivering the baby without Adem in attendance made her swallow. But she had no right to expect him to eagerly offer to be there. She wasn’t sure she should even want him there, but she did. And she had no idea why.

  Her mom would come. Would even be her birth partner if she asked her to. But Carly wanted more.

  “It’s going to be pretty obvious to your brother and sister-in-law that I’m pregnant at some point. Unless you want me off the case.”

  “No. They both want you to deliver the baby.” He blew out a breath. “I have no idea how I’m going to handle a
ny of that.”

  She screwed up a measure of courage and picked up her fork. One way or another, she needed to know. “Are you even planning on being there when the baby is born? If you’re not, I’d rather you tell me now.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  BE THERE? WHAT did she mean?

  “I’ve already said I want to be in the baby’s life.”

  She shook her head and speared a bite of meat with her fork, then stabbed the tines through a piece of cheese. The movements were jerky, as if she was really unsure of his answer. “I know, but I’m not talking about that. I mean when he or she is born. Do you want to be there during labor?”

  He hadn’t thought that far down the road. But some little voice told him to tread carefully, that his answer was important. “Yes. Unless you don’t want me there.”

  Her fork stopped halfway to her mouth and her eyes closed for a split second before looking at him again.

  It was the right answer. He saw it in her face. “What about your parents? You said you didn’t want them to know until after the baby was born.”

  “That might be a little tricky if you decide to have the baby in the hospital where lots of people know both of us.”

  “I want to have it at home. With just my mom and midwife in the room. And you, if you want to be there.”

  There was a little tickle of panic in the back of his throat that he did his best to suppress. He’d told her he wanted to be there, but suddenly he wasn’t sure. Maybe she didn’t want him as a birth partner, though; after all, she said her mother would be there.

  And if she did want that? Then there would be birthing classes to attend. Maybe even parenting classes. Together.

  It doesn’t mean you’re marrying her, Adem. Just that you’re supporting the mother of your child and ultimately your child.

  “How do you feel about me meeting your mother? Before the actual birth?” If he was going to do this, he didn’t want to suddenly be thrust into a room with a woman he’d never seen before and hope she didn’t resent him for not marrying her daughter. He knew his mother well enough to know that would be exactly her reaction. In fact, she was going to have a hard time understanding why Adem didn’t marry Carly.

  “Do you want to?”

  It took him a second to realize she was answering his question about her mother and not reading his thoughts about marriage. “I think it might be a good idea, don’t you?”

  “If you’re worried about her reaction, don’t. I promise you, she’s supportive. Thrilled even.”

  “She’ll have to meet me at some point, right?”

  “I guess so. I’ll check with her and see when a good time might be. But think about it carefully. Once we go down that path, there’ll be no turning back. They’ll know who you are.”

  “I think we’re already at the point of no turning back. Don’t you?”

  A smile played at the corners of her mouth. “I think we’ve been there more than once.”

  All of a sudden the heat that he’d felt as he watched her enjoy the breeze a few minutes ago returned full force. So did that spark that said maybe marriage was the right answer, after all. “Yes. We have.”

  Their eyes met. Clashed.

  Carly was the first to look away. “I, um, if you’re sure about meeting my mom...”

  “I am.”

  “Okay, I’ll set it up. Your parents are eventually going to meet me too, when you tell them, right? Are they going to hate me?”

  “No. They’ll be disappointed with me. Not with you.” And they would be. There was no mistaking that. But in the end, it was his life and he’d live it as he saw fit, just as he always had. Just as Basir lived his.

  “They’ll be mad because you didn’t marry me?”

  She’d hit the nail on the head. “Yes.”

  “You could just tell them you tried, but I refused. It wouldn’t be a lie, since I did tell you I didn’t want to marry anyone. And I don’t.”

  That actually wasn’t a bad idea, except for the fact that they would then badger Carly endlessly, trying to talk her into something neither of them wanted. “I don’t think that would work. Why don’t you let me deal with my parents.”

  “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to interfere.” She fiddled with the edge of her plate, making some tiny adjustment. He realized she’d taken his words the wrong way.

  He reached across and touched her face, hooking his finger under her chin. “Hey. I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate it. I wasn’t telling you to mind your own business. I just don’t want to put you in an awkward situation. I would end up having to tell my parents to back off and leave us alone.”

  “It’s okay. And no, I don’t want you to have to do that. We’ve still got months. Let’s give it some time.”

  “I agree.”

  With that they were able to move on to lighter topics as they ate, like baby names and what they hoped the child would be like. Carly actually wanted a combined name with influences from both of their home countries.

  Adem hoped he or she would look like Carly. The way the light breeze blew her hair off her face, revealing high cheekbones and pale creamy skin. But with his darker skin and dark hair, there would probably be some kind of meeting in the middle. He smiled. He couldn’t believe he was actually thinking about things like this.

  “Oh, I almost forgot. The portable ultrasounds are going to be delivered next week. The manufacturer is coming over to show us the basics of how to use them. With everything that’s going on, I didn’t remember to tell you.”

  “Wow, I had no idea they’d be here this soon.”

  “I didn’t either. I thought it would be a few more weeks. I’ll let you know when they want to meet with us.”

  “Thank you. If I were a little further along, I would offer to be the guinea pig.”

  “I’m sure we have plenty of patients who’ll be happy to volunteer.”

  “Maybe even Adeline.”

  “Maybe. I’ll run it by her.”

  She finished her food and took a drink of her water. She’d brought a bottle of wine for him, she said, in case he wanted it. He’d opted for water instead, claiming he still needed to drive the boat home, which he did. But there was also something in him that wanted to keep her company. And that made him take a mental step back.

  Was he playing house here?

  He’d told her he didn’t want a relationship, and he didn’t. So what was with the intimate little boat ride? The talking about birth partners and whether he would or wouldn’t be in that room when his child was born? All of this had seemed like a good idea at first. Until it didn’t. Probably about the time that he realized how beautiful she looked sitting in that chair. How much he wanted to kiss her. To feel her belly at each stage of pregnancy.

  These were dangerous games. Ones he had no business playing. Time to put a stop to it.

  “Are you ready to head back?”

  Maybe she sensed the change in mood, because she wrapped her arms around her waist and said, “Of course. Whenever you are.”

  Carly acted tough as nails at times, but then there were these little flashes of vulnerability that caught him off guard. And he hated when he was the one who brought them out in her.

  Like just now. And when he’d told her he wanted nothing to do with marriage.

  But to pretend things were different would just bring heartache of a different kind on down the road. He’d witnessed that firsthand. So, time to put things back on a more even keel.

  He helped her stow away the leftovers and secured the basket. Then she helped him pull up the anchor and head back to his home marina.

  Carly was quiet on the return trip, but he wasn’t sure what he could say or do that would salvage the situation so he decided to let it ride. There’d be plenty of time to figure out the best way to relate to each other when he was a l
ittle further from the situation.

  Hell, what he meant was a little further from her. Whenever he was around Carly, he didn’t seem to be able to think straight. But he needed to figure it out and fast. Before he said something or did something there was no coming back from.

  * * *

  Carly got a call in the middle of the night that one of her patients was in labor. She was exhausted, having been out in the boat for five hours with Adem. An outing that had seemed to start out well, but then at some point he’d become distant, pulling out of that berth in a hurry. He’d barely spoken to her on the way home. Once she sensed the change in him, she went silent as well. They’d said a brief goodbye, and Adem had carried the picnic basket to the car for her. She’d gotten in her vehicle and left as if the hounds of hell were pursuing her. Only they weren’t. Neither was Adem. And he’d made that point crystal clear.

  She suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to have him meet her mom. Or be at the birth. In fact, she was rethinking a whole lot of things. On a lot of different levels.

  Arriving at the house, she found the expectant mom in bed, laboring, her husband beside her, guiding her through her breathing. Touching her. Rubbing her feet, her back—wherever she needed him to be, he was there.

  She took a deep breath, trying not to picture Adem doing those things for her. Instead, she forced herself to focus on the situation at hand.

  “Hi, Gloria. How are we doing?”

  “Good. This feels much the same as our last two children.” She gripped her husband Ned’s hand. “I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

  “She probably wouldn’t be in this predicament if it weren’t for me.”

  Carly smiled, but it wasn’t real. The ache she’d had moments earlier quadrupled in size. She’d had this ideal little scenario of her own childbirth experience mapped out in her head. And it looked exactly like this one. Only Carly would be in that bed and Adem would be the one giving her encouraging little touches. Murmuring to her.

  She stabbed that dream in the chest, because it wasn’t going to happen. If it was anything like the way the day yesterday had ended up being, Adem would be sitting in a chair, while she lay turned away from him, trying desperately not to show him how much she needed his support.