“You can’t always be like that, Gia.”
“Says who? Sex rules the world, darling. As long as that is easy to obtain, I don’t need love.”
“I’m sure there’s a man out there who will change that—”
“You’re cute. No man can tame me. Anyway, I have a client coming in. If you need me after I’m done, just call or come by,” she said, shooing me off the couch. Gathering my things, I sighed and made my way out of her office.
Sometimes, I envied Gia’s carefree lifestyle. She made it seem so easy to be with someone and feel absolutely no emotion, no matter how long they had been sexually involved. I probably could have pulled it off if I tried hard enough, but Zane was everything that I wanted Julius to be. If Julius were at least a fraction of what Zane was, I wonder if I would have even ventured into this mess. If Allison had never assigned this project to me, I wonder what I’d be doing right now. Would I be sitting in my office fantasizing about how great life would be if I were single? Would I be preparing for my mother’s yearly social party where I had to pretend to have the perfect life and that I was happy with Julius?
Although my life was going downhill, I don’t think I would change anything. Being with Zane helped me figure out who I truly was and gave me the courage to finally stand up for myself. He taught me that I could experience true happiness as long as I was done settling for things I didn’t want or deserve.
I was finished pretending. For so long, I tried to fit myself in a mold that wasn’t meant for me. Was I really that afraid to lose everything? What exactly was I afraid of losing? If I hated everything about my life, why was it so hard to break free?
Hours passed slowly as I sat in the parking garage next to Zane’s catering company. My mind was reeling as I tried to process what I would say when I saw him next. Saying that I was sorry wasn’t going to be enough. I didn’t know if he would even talk to me. I shook my head. “This is stupid,” I mumbled to myself, putting the key back into the ignition.
Just as I was about to start my car, he stepped off the elevator. I watched him from my car as he walked to his motorcycle, wishing that I could run up to him and have him hold me. Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car and slowly walked over to him.
He stopped and turned around when I closed my car door, his face immediately twisting in displeasure. He glanced around before focusing on me. “Why are you here?” he asked, pulling his keys out of his pocket. In an attempt to calm my nerves, I took a deep breath as I fought the urge to touch him.
“I just need a few minutes of your time—”
“Are you really trying to destroy me, Arianna? You being here could make me lose my business,” he spat. My name sounded foreign on his tongue, as if it wasn’t the right fit. I blinked back my tears and cleared my throat.
“I’m sorry about everything that happened. I wanted to tell you—”
“But you didn’t. I have to go,” he said, turning to walk away.
“Zane, please,” I pleaded, gently grabbing his arm. He turned slightly and pulled away from me. The chill that went through me wasn’t from the cool breeze that ran through my hair. The man that was once so affectionate with me was now frigid. “I can fix this if you let me. If money is the problem—”
“I don’t want your fucking handout. Just stay away from me.”
“It’s not a handout. I made this mess and I want to make it right. You shouldn’t be punished for something that I did.”
“Even if your father didn’t threaten to destroy everything I worked hard for, you’ve already punished me. How did you expect this to end? Did you think I was going to be okay with this shit and be with you as if nothing happened?” he asked, his voice slightly rising. I shook my head timidly.
“I was selfish, and I’m sorry. I should’ve just told you, but I didn’t want to let you go,” I admitted as a tear rolled down my cheek. Zane shook his head and looked away.
“You brought this on yourself. I’m not losing my business because of you. I don’t want to see you anymore, Arianna. After I cater your family’s party tomorrow, you will never see me again,” he sneered.
I shook my head. This can’t be happening. I couldn’t imagine life without him. Even if we weren’t going be together, I couldn’t deal with not being able to see him at all.
“Zane, I … please don’t do this. I can fix this somehow, I swear!” I pleaded. He sighed deeply and moved so close to me that our chests nearly touched.
“I’m only going to say this once. Stay the fuck away from me. I don’t want you, and I don’t want anything to do with you. I forgive you, but I hate you for what you’ve done,” he said firmly.
My jaw dropped as I gazed up into his eyes. There was absolutely nothing I could do to. His words cut me so deep that I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb, unable to move as I blankly watched him get on his motorcycle and zoom out of the parking garage, leaving me heartbroken and alone.
THE TIMES ARE CHANGING.
I IMAGINE that Julius had been prepared to gloat about exposing my lies until he saw me. He had no idea what he had truly done, and he would never understand how much it had hurt. I hadn’t been able eat, sleep, or do much of anything since I lost Zane. His final words to me last night played through my mind constantly, making it difficult for me to sleep. Seeing him this afternoon at my mother’s social event was going to be hard, especially knowing that it would be the last time I would see him.
Julius came in with juice and breakfast, placing it next to me in bed as he had for the past few mornings. As usual, I refused it. I couldn’t even blame him for my predicament although he put me in the situation in the first place. When he came back 15 minutes later, he sighed when he saw that the breakfast tray still remained untouched.
“Arianna, you haven’t eaten in days. At least have some juice,” he coaxed, holding the glass out to me. I glanced at the glass for a moment before fixating my gaze back on the wall that I had been staring at previously. No amount of food would fill the gaping void in my heart and soul. If I couldn’t have Zane, I didn’t want anything at all.
My parents had been calling and asking Julius how I was. I was sure they were only calling to make sure I hadn’t run off somewhere. They didn’t care if my heart and world were shattered, as long as they got what they wanted, that was all that mattered.
“We’re expected at the party in a couple of hours. You may want to go ahead and get ready,” Julius said a few hours later. Not only did I not want to see my dreadful parents, I also couldn’t bear to see Zane and not be able to have him hold, kiss, and reassure me that everything would be okay. His painful words were seared into my mind, torturing me endlessly. With the way that things went down, I know that it would never be okay, no matter how much I willed them to be.
I trudged around my bedroom trying to prepare myself. I didn’t have the willpower to take a shower, or do my makeup, but I somehow managed. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror once I finished my shower. The woman staring back at me had a blank, pale gaze. She was there physically, but nowhere around mentally. She looked a little thinner than I remembered due to lack of eating and hydration. I set out to find myself when starting this journey, and in the end, I lost myself instead. I was simply an empty shell of my former self, numb to everything.
When Julius came in after me, I was sitting at my vanity, staring into the mirror. “Arianna … the car is here,” he said, standing behind me. I blinked and brought myself back to reality, slowly standing to check my reflection once more. The red satin ball gown fit perfectly, and my hair was curled to perfection. I didn’t bother putting on much makeup. If I started to cry, I didn’t want it to run everywhere. I followed Julius to the limo waiting outside and slid onto the backseat without a word. Julius reached out and held my hand, and I was so distant from reality that I didn’t even care to pull away.
Before we knew it, we were pulling up to The Chaz ballroom. Many people greeted us, but I spoke to none of them. I looked aroun
d at the extravagant decorations in disgust when I entered the ballroom. There were waiters dressed in dark suits carrying trays of champagne, catering to all of the elite guests of the hour. Everyone wore their best dresses and suits, thrusting their offspring in front of their potential spouses, trying to outshine other couples by boasting about how great their son or daughter was.
I shook my head. I felt as if my mom held these events just so her friends could have a reason to “market” their son or daughter to a rich spouse. It was a party very similar to this that sealed my fate the night I met Julius. While she thought the party was a success because of it, I deemed it as the worst night of my life.
My eyes traveled the room and observed the crystal chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. Beautiful orchid flower arrangements donned each table that was strategically placed around the room, surrounded by fine china plates and crystal glasses. A small symphony orchestra played soothing classical music on the man-made stage in the front of the room, and a few couples were dancing together on the hardwood floor.
I rolled my eyes and turned my gaze toward the tables to my right and nearly fainted when Zane came into view. He was smiling and nodding as he spoke with a woman who seemed to be complimenting his food. A small smile touched my lips. My mind replayed all the times he smiled at me, making me feel warm inside from the simple action.
When his eyes met mine, his smile faded, and his face hardened before he turned and walked back to the kitchen. I took a deep breath and tried to shake off the interaction, but I couldn’t. I missed him so much, and the pain that I’d been feeling lately was overwhelming. My mother flagged down Julius and me when she saw us, trying to make her way through the crowd. I moved in the opposite direction. I had nothing to say to her and didn’t plan to speak to her or my father.
As I made my way to the bathroom to get myself together, a conversation caught my attention. “DeAngelo, are you sure this is going to work? What if he finds another way to obtain 300 grand to buy the place himself?” I could hear Julius’ father, Mr. Parker, ask my father. My father laughed confidently.
“I’ve already explained the consequences to Arianna. If she chooses otherwise, I’ll be making a call down to Cauldwell Bank and have his building bought out by noon tomorrow. Trust me, Joseph. If she’s as smart as I think she is, she will not make a foolish decision,” I heard my father reply. I glanced back at the dining room and saw Zane still serving food along with a few other workers. I couldn’t allow my father to do this, even if this meant that I needed to pay the building off, myself. I would check the money that I’d been saving for the past 4 years since being with Julius to see if I could just pay off the rest. Even if Zane wouldn’t forgive me, I wouldn’t let him get pulled into this mess that I created.
I took a seat between my mother and Julius and pretended to be okay. I smiled and responded appropriately, but other than that, I didn’t say a word. Although pretending was something that I always did, something clicked inside my head at that moment. I was officially done with faking it. I looked around the room and saw that everyone here was just pretending. No one wanted to face reality, and they all thought that they could buy their way into everything. I knew then that I didn’t want to be a part of this lifestyle anymore.
The realization of this scared me so much that I lost my appetite. I’ve been pretending for so long and have gone unnoticed as a result of it. I wasn’t going to continue standing by and allowing people to make decisions for me. I wasn’t a child anymore, and in order for me to be happy, I had to break the chains that bound me once and for all.
“You’re doing a good job, dear. I’m surprised that you’re not wolfing down your food as usual and embarrassing me,” my mom complimented when she leaned over. I glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. I will never understand how a woman could tear down her own daughter’s body image. My mother was the reason I was so insecure. Because she made me feel worthless, I always thought that I was the problem in my relationships. Being with Zane and finally being appreciated made me realize that I’m perfect the way I am. I had no desire to look like the thin women who modeled my mother’s clothes. If I was nothing but an embarrassment to her, maybe it was best if we were estranged from each other.
While we ate, there was a live band playing on stage. I thought back to the morning Zane played his guitar. I could still hear the song that he wrote for me despite the ruckus that the band was creating. I wish I had told him sooner. Had I told him, would the damage have been less? I glanced around the room and saw him heading back into the kitchen. My heart, what was left of it, ached at the sight of him. My father followed my gaze and gave me a warning look, causing me to turn my attention back to my untouched meal.
Julius’ voice startled me when I heard it over the loudspeaker. I hadn’t even noticed that he’d gotten out of his seat. He was blabbing about how great this (lame) party was and recognized my parents for donating to his charity that helped him run a golf camp for kids. After his corny speech, he called me onto the stage. Everyone turned to look at me as I continued sitting. My mother jabbed me hard in the side.
“Julius wants you on stage. Go now!” she spat through clenched teeth before she faked a smile to everyone that was watching our table. I huffed as I slowly rose to my feet and made my way toward the stage. The crowd that was on the dance floor parted down the middle as I walked, allowing me access. I stood next to Julius and looked out at the party guests. I could see a couple of people patting my parents on the shoulders, as if to congratulate them. What for?
“Arianna, these 4 years with you have been the best years … ”
I stopped listening the instant he started off with that lie. He’d told me plenty of times that he resented me, hated me, and wished he could find a way out of our relationship. I couldn’t even count how many times he voiced his displeasure. I didn’t know why he was putting on a show for all of these people, but it was about to be shut down very quickly if he didn’t get it together.
“I can’t see myself with anyone else but you … ”
Yeah, sure. Tell that to your mistress.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with you … ”
You want to spend the rest of your life with your money, not me.
“You’re the only one for me. So, Arianna Donatelli,” he said, getting down on one knee. My eyes widened as I tried to stop him.
“Julius what are you doing?” I asked, gritting my teeth, urging him to stand back up.
This idiot couldn’t be serious. After everything we’ve been through these last few months, he was really asking me to marry him and expecting me to say yes? Then it dawned on me. He chose to do it at the party because he felt that he’d have a higher chance of not being rejected if all of our friends and family were here.
“Will you do me the honor and be my wife? Will you marry me?” he asked, opening a small box containing a large diamond ring. Gasps and murmurs were heard around the room for a few seconds before it fell eerily silent.
You have to make a choice.
The moment that I dreaded had now approached. This is where I had to make a life-changing decision. If I accepted, my future would be secure, but I’d be miserable. I scanned the room. My mother looked as if she were holding her breath while tightly holding onto my father’s arm. My father gave me a stern look, as if to warn me about making the wrong decision.
I glanced to my side and saw that Zane was standing in the far corner looking directly at me. His face held no emotion, as if he didn’t care what choice I made. I turned back to Julius. If I said no, I would just lose everything else that I had. I had already lost the one thing that mattered, so what was the point of fighting against my parents? If this was what they wanted, I guess I had no choice but to comply. I had already lost the only person who made me happy, so would it really be worth the wrath of my family at this point?
I …” I started and stopped. A voice in the back of my mind was screaming for me to refuse. It didn’t fe
el right to accept Julius’ proposal. Even if I couldn’t be with Zane, I deserved to be happy. If being free from my overbearing parents and their rules and regulations would help me achieve this, then I would deal with having to start over on my own. “I will never marry you, Julius Parker,” I said, shaking my head. He looked up at me in disbelief.
“Arianna, what are you doing?” he hissed in a low tone as the crowd began murmuring. I looked over to the table where our parents were sitting and saw that both families were equally angry.
“I’d rather live a humbled life and be happy than to be rich and miserable with you,” I said, turning and exiting the stage. My mother and father jumped up from their seats and quickly caught up with me.
“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” my father roared as he roughly grabbed my arm. I snatched myself away and glared back at him.
“Yes. I made the decision you told me I had to make. Good fucking riddance,” I said and left before they could say another word.
I didn’t even look for Zane as I left. I had other things on my mind. I glanced at the time on my phone and saw that it was almost 4:30. I had 30 minutes to get to Cauldwell Bank before they closed. I caught the first taxi and quickly slid into the backseat.
“Take me to Cauldwell Bank, please. You’ll get a $50 tip if you get me there before they close!” I said urgently, closing the door behind me. The driver complied and probably broke every traffic law of New York to get me to the bank. I made it with 15 minutes to spare. I paid my fare and gave the man a $100 bill before hurrying out of the cab and up the stairs to the bank.
My lungs were burning as I ran, my legs feeling like jelly as I hurried up the stairs in stiletto heels. I paused when I finally reached the top before bolting through the large wooden doors.
Once I was directed to the right person, I made my way down a short hallway to speak with Mr. Chase Cauldwell himself. He looked up from his desk when he saw me walk in without knocking and smiled.
The Daring Assignment Page 17
