A Mother's Trust

by Dilly Court

  ‘It’s the middle of July. In six weeks or so the family will be leaving for Italy.’ Phoebe did a quick calculation in her head. ‘The baby should be due early in the New Year, and the family won’t return until April.’

  ‘We can’t hide a baby from them, Phoebe. They’ll find out sooner or later.’

  Brushing her mother’s damp hair back from her forehead, Phoebe forced her lips into a smile. ‘We’ll sort something out, Ma. In the meantime you mustn’t let on, not to anyone, and you mustn’t see him again. I want you to promise me that, because I hate to think what will happen if the Paxmans find out you’re carrying Ned’s child. It’s not just the baby’s life at stake here, Ma. You’d be in danger yourself.’ Phoebe cocked her head on one side as she heard the faint sound of her grandmother’s voice calling to her. She moved swiftly to open the door. ‘Coming, Nonna.’ She paused on the threshold. ‘Get some rest, Ma. I’ll tell Nonna that you’ve got your monthly and you’re feeling bad.’

  ‘She’s never liked me,’ Annie murmured sleepily. ‘No one was ever going to be good enough for her precious Paulo.’

  Closing the door, Phoebe hurried downstairs to join her grandmother in the kitchen where she was preparing the evening meal of boiled cabbage, bacon and macaroni, the staple diet of the more frugal Italian families who saved every penny they could to fund their eventual return to their native land. Maria Giamatti glanced up from chopping fat bacon to give her granddaughter a sceptical look. ‘She’s drunk again.’

  ‘No, it’s not that, Nonna. Ma’s not feeling too well.’ Phoebe picked up a cleaver and began shredding a huge head of cabbage. ‘It’s the usual thing.’

  ‘In my day young girls did not mention such a topic, and we certainly did not take to our beds. I always said she was no good for my poor Paulo.’ Maria seized a clove of garlic and smashed it with the heel of her hand. ‘A few months in Stresa will put a stop to her wandering off to the pub whenever she feels like it.’

  ‘Yes, Nonna.’ Phoebe had learned long ago not to argue with her grandmother. Maria’s word was law in the Giamatti household.

  ‘And there will be no more nonsense about you staying in London with your mamma,’ Maria added, pointing the knife at Phoebe. ‘If you had come home with us last winter you would have been promised to Gino and preparing for your wedding by now. You are a grown woman, Phoebe. Soon you will be on the shelf; an old maid. I was married when I was fifteen and had Paulo the next year, and it was the same for your mamma. Soon you will be too old to have babies. I bet you no see that in your mamma’s crystal ball.’

  ‘But I don’t love Gino.’ The protest was drawn from Phoebe’s lips before she could stop herself. She knew it was useless to argue with her grandmother but the discovery of her mother’s pregnancy had unnerved her.

  Maria threw the chopped bacon into a large pan on the range and tossed in a couple of cloves of garlic. ‘You think I loved Fabio when I married him? No, but I did as my family wished and love came later. Your mamma has filled your head with silly thoughts.’

  ‘She loved my father.’

  ‘And now my boy is dead. He would not have got himself mixed up with the high mobs if she hadn’t kept on at him to move out of this house and get a home of their own. She was never satisfied; she always wanted more and more. If Lorenzo and Julio marry good Italian girls they will be content to live in the family home.’

  Phoebe cut out the hard core of the cabbage with a flick of the knife. It was on the tip of her tongue to say that maybe the reason for her two uncles remaining single was that their romances ended abruptly when their prospective brides were introduced to their future mother-in-law. But beneath the blustery temperament and belligerent attitude Phoebe knew that her grandmother possessed a kind heart, although it was well hidden. Maria considered that any outward display of affection was a sure sign of weakness, and rarely allowed the tender side of her nature to come to the fore. Phoebe had realised long ago that it could not have been easy for a girl from the mountains of northern Italy to leave her home and make a life for herself and her family in the sooty, crime-ridden East End of London. It had taken courage and fortitude to endure the rigours of setting up a business in competition with all the other immigrant families, many of whom came from the region of Calabria and would undoubtedly have been brigands in their time. Although mostly reformed and turned into respectable citizens, the element of barbarism lurked beneath the surface and the odd revenge killing was not unknown, especially amongst the immigrants from the area where the ‘Ndrangheta was a powerful force.

  ‘Gino is a good boy,’ Maria said, continuing the conversation despite Phoebe’s failure to respond. ‘He comes from a respectable family. He’ll make a good husband and father.’

  ‘Yes, Nonna. I’ve finished chopping the cabbage. What else would you like me to do?’

  ‘I would like you to go for a walk with Gino after supper. Every evening he comes to the door and asks you out, and each time you make some excuse. I say give him a chance, Phoebe. I don’t know what you’re waiting for, but you no get a knight in shining armour in Clerkenwell.’

  The rays of the setting sun turned the River Thames into a stream of molten lava as it flowed past Pigs Quay on the ebb tide. A cloud of smoke and fumes from the city gas works hung in the still warm air like a feather mattress suspended above the chimney tops. The sky was streaked blood red and purple and heat rose from the cobblestones, making each step that Phoebe took feel as though she were walking on hot coals. There was an eerie stillness as the ships, barges, wherries and lighters had moored for the night and their crews had either gone home or disappeared into the many pubs dotted along the river’s edge. The setting might have been romantic had it not been for the putrid odours arising from the mud and the general city stench of sewage and rubbish left to rot at the roadside, but Phoebe was not in the mood to listen to Gino’s sweet talk. Her mind had been elsewhere all through the evening meal and even now, with Gino holding her hand, she could think of nothing but the desperate situation brought about by her mother’s affair with a notorious gangster.

  ‘You haven’t heard a word I’ve said.’ Gino took both her hands in his and squeezed them gently.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She met his anxious gaze with an apologetic smile. ‘I’m just a bit worried about Ma. You saw how poorly she was today.’

  ‘I saw only that she was drunk. You can’t live your life for your mamma. She thinks only of herself.’

  Gazing down at the water, Phoebe shuddered as a body floated past, face down with his arms outstretched as if the corpse was flying towards the sea. Gino released her hands and placed his arm around her shoulders. ‘Don’t look, cara. It’s a common enough sight but not one you should see.’

  Phoebe dashed her hand across her eyes. ‘Poor man. What dreadful misfortune could have made him take his own life?’

  ‘He might simply have fallen overboard and drowned, or perhaps he was dead drunk.’

  ‘It’s such a sad ending for anyone. He must have a family somewhere who will miss him and mourn for him. Perhaps he has a wife and children waiting for him at home.’

  ‘Don’t think about it, Phoebe. He could just as easily be a bad man who will be missed by no one.’

  ‘Even so, he looks so lonely floating out to sea on the tide.’

  ‘The river police will fish him out and take the corpse to the dead house. He will be taken care of.’ Gino turned her to face him, laying the tip of his finger on her lips. ‘Forget the unfortunate one, cara. I didn’t bring you here to make you sad.’

  The sincerity in his eyes and the gentleness in his voice was balm to Phoebe’s troubled mind. She smiled. ‘You’re a good friend, Gino.’

  ‘I want to be more than that. You know how I feel about you.’

  She shook her head. ‘Please don’t say any more. I don’t want to hurt your feelings but this isn’t the right time.’

  ‘Why not? Why won’t you let me speak about what is in my heart?’

/>   ‘There are things you don’t know, Gino. Things that I cannot tell anyone, not even you.’

  ‘You can trust me, cara. I would lay down my life for you. Marry me, Phoebe. Be my wife and let me take care of you forever.’

  She had known for months that he was trying to pluck up the courage to propose. Thus far she had managed to evade the issue, but a moment’s lapse of concentration, combined with the upset of seeing a drowned man floating downriver had made her drop her guard. Now she must face the consequences and give him his answer. Looking into his eyes, she saw both hope and fear. She felt his body tremble as he let his arm fall to his side. They were standing only inches apart but she was certain she could hear his heartbeats. ‘I’m very fond of you, Gino. You’re my dearest friend, but I can’t marry you.’

  Why? His lips formed the word but no sound came from them other than a sigh.

  ‘Because I’m not right for you. I’m not sure I could ever marry anyone, especially now.’

  He grasped her by the shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. ‘Why? I deserve to know why you reject me. Our families expect us to marry. I can support a wife and children. You would want for nothing.’

  ‘There are reasons, Gino. There is a secret that is someone else’s and I cannot tell anyone, not even you.’

  He was silent for a moment, gazing abstractedly across to the opposite bank. Slowly, he turned his head to look her in the eyes. ‘It’s to do with your mother, isn’t it? And it has some connection with the Paxman gang.’

  Startled by his acute perception, Phoebe had no ready response. She looked away. ‘I can’t say any more.’

  ‘You must. If it is what I think it is then it concerns you too. Annie has been seen with Ned Paxman. It’s common knowledge. It doesn’t take much imagination to guess what the outcome of that might be.’

  The need to unburden herself was almost too great to bear, and Gino had come perilously close to the truth. She nodded her head. ‘I only found out today. She’s carrying his child. You know what will happen if the family find out.’

  ‘Vendetta,’ Gino said, frowning.

  ‘That’s what makes me afraid,’ Phoebe said, clutching his hands. ‘Even though my grandfather and my uncles have nothing to do with the Camorra, I fear that they will call upon those who have connections.’

  ‘Undoubtedly, that’s what would happen.’

  ‘It was bad enough that my father was killed by the high mob, but if they find out that Ma has betrayed them with Ned, I daren’t even think about what they would do to her and to the child.’

  ‘How far gone is she?’

  Phoebe felt the blood rush to her cheeks. It was unseemly to be discussing pregnancy with a member of the opposite sex, even one who was as well known to her as Gino, but this was not the time for false modesty. ‘She’s not certain. Two months, maybe more.’

  ‘She might stand a chance then if she remains in London when the family return to Italy for the winter.’

  ‘That’s what I think, and I will stay with her, but we have to keep it from those who can’t afford to travel to their villages. You know how people love to gossip.’

  Gino’s lips curved into a smile. ‘I do, but there will still be the problem of the child. Your mamma will have to find someone to take it in.’

  The cold hard logic of this hit Phoebe with a force she could not have anticipated. For all the disgrace and the fact that her half-brother or sister would be related to the Paxmans, she realised how hard it would be to see her own flesh and blood given away to strangers. She could not begin to imagine how her mother would feel in such dire circumstances. ‘We’ll meet that problem when it arises,’ she said slowly. ‘But I can trust you not to say anything, can’t I? You will promise me not to repeat this to a soul?’

  Gino wrapped his arms around her. ‘I promise, cara. But I fear for both of you if this should come out.’

  ‘And you understand why I cannot marry you?’

  His eyes darkened. ‘No, but I think you care for me a little.’

  ‘I care for you a lot, and maybe when this is all over …’

  ‘What are you saying, Phoebe? Is that a yes?’

  She managed a wobbly smile. ‘It’s a maybe.’

  He drew her into his arms and kissed her tenderly but without passion. It was, she realised, a promise of things to come. He smiled into her eyes as he released her. ‘I will not press you for your answer until I return from Italy. I must go, you do know that, don’t you?’

  She nodded her head. ‘Of course. Your father would expect it of you.’

  ‘And it would make it easier for you to stay here in London with your mamma if everyone thought that we had an understanding.’

  Phoebe eyed him warily. ‘What are you suggesting, Gino?’

  ‘I think we should tell your family that you and I are betrothed.’ He took a small gold signet ring from his little finger. ‘Wear this and it will protect you from the gossiping tongues. It will make your grandmother happy too, I think. And I will rest easy knowing that you are safe from the attentions of those who are left behind.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Phoebe said slowly. ‘I haven’t said I would marry you, Gino.’

  ‘I understand, and if the answer is no when I return, then so be it. I love you, Phoebe, and I want to protect you in any way I can. Of course I would much rather you came to Italy with the rest of us, but I understand that you cannot leave your mamma.’

  ‘No, I can’t. She wouldn’t know what to do on her own.’

  Gino’s lips tightened, but there was sympathy and understanding in his eyes. ‘I think your grandmother might be more easily persuaded to let you stay in London if she thinks you are soon to be a married woman.’

  ‘You would do all this for me?’ It was a question that she hardly dared ask.

  ‘And more.’ He kissed her again and this time there was no doubting the strength of his feelings. She gave herself up to the heady delight of a passionate embrace. It was wonderful to feel loved and needed for herself alone, and she returned his kisses with increasing fervour. He was young and strong and until this moment she had not realised the depth of his feelings for her. It was an intoxicating mixture.

  The sun had set by the time they set off on the walk home from Pigs Quay. Saffron Hill was bathed in deep purple shadows. The bustle of the ice cream trade was stilled as the early risers had gone to their beds, but the night-time denizens of the courts and alleyways were making their appearance. Prostitutes lingered on street corners and the sounds of revelry emanated from the open pub doors. Ragged street urchins importuned the men who frequented the drinking houses, and feral cats and dogs sniffed about in the gutters for anything remotely edible.

  As she entered the house Phoebe turned to say a last goodnight to Gino but he followed her inside. ‘We will tell them together, cara.’

  Her courage had failed her at the last minute and she would have willingly sent him away, but even as she tugged at the ring it would not come off her finger. He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. ‘It’s a sign. Don’t be afraid, Phoebe. I will never let any harm come to you.’ Still holding her hand, Gino followed the sound of voices to the parlour, where they found the family assembled. The only person missing was Annie.

  ‘Gino?’ Fabio rose from his chair. ‘This is late for a social call.’

  Lorenzo tossed the butt of his cigarillo into the empty grate. ‘He looks like a man big with news.’

  Julio leapt to his feet and slapped Gino on the back. ‘I knew it. He’s plucked up the courage to ask our little Phoebe to marry him. It’s true, isn’t it?’

  Phoebe glanced nervously at her grandfather, but he was smiling, and her grandmother, who had been piling empty coffee cups onto a tray, stopped what she was doing to throw her arms around Gino. ‘It is true; I can see it in your eyes. I am pleased for you.’ She turned to Phoebe, wagging her finger. ‘And you were so coy when I brought up the subject of marriage today. You must have known all along t
hat you would accept this young man. I say shame on you for teasing your nonna in such a way.’

  Still speechless, Phoebe suffered hugs and kisses from her grandmother and her uncles. She looked to Gino for help but he was conversing earnestly with her grandfather.

  ‘I should have come to you first, Signor Giamatti,’ Gino said humbly. ‘Since Phoebe has no father now, I ask for your permission to marry your granddaughter.’

  Fabio kissed him on both cheeks. ‘You have it with my blessing, Gino. I couldn’t wish for a better husband for my precious pearl.’

  Phoebe glanced down at the ring on her fourth finger. Suddenly the voices of her family faded away and she closed her eyes. She could see the small cottage on the banks of Lake Maggiore where the family would soon return to harvest the vegetable crops they had planted the previous spring. All summer long these would have been tended by relatives living nearby and the returning emigrants would be greeted with feasting and dancing late into the night. Several families in Saffron Hill, including the Argentos, originated from the same area, but others had come from as far away as Naples and beyond. The vision in her head was misty at first, but as it cleared she could see that the sun was shining on the blue waters of the lake. Then as if a grey veil had been drawn over the familiar scene, the sky darkened and wind whipped the glassy surface into waves like the sea. She could hear a bell tolling and a feeling of dread made her tremble as a funeral procession wended its way along the village street.

  ‘Are you all right, cara?’

  She opened her eyes and found herself looking into Gino’s concerned face. ‘Yes. I’m sorry. It’s been a long day and I’m tired.’

  He raised her hand to his lips. ‘I will leave you now, cara mia. Tomorrow we will talk again.’

  ‘More than talk by the looks of things,’ Julio said, grinning.

  His mother shot him a warning glance. ‘That’s enough of that, Julio. This is a serious moment in a young woman’s life. You should set a good example.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Mamma.’ Julio exchanged meaningful looks with his elder brother but even this was not lost on their mother.