“Thanks, Steve.” Catherine caught the widening of the intern’s eyes when he noticed Nathan behind her, and again she wanted to tell him to stay behind. Instead she merely walked down the hall, leaving it up to him to follow or not. His footsteps behind her told her he had chosen to follow.
She stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath and finally faced Nathan. “I think…I mean…it would probably be better if you waited out here.”
He studied her, seeing too much. Catherine lowered her head, no longer able to look at him. She squirmed, debating whether or not to say anything else, then turned toward the door. Nathan’s hand closed over hers before she could open it.
“Catherine, you didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t feel guilty.”
“Guilty? He’s my responsibility and I…” Her voice cracked and she turned, looked at the floor, at his hand, at the wall behind Nathan. Everywhere but at him. “I need to see Matty.” She shrugged off his hold and pulled the door open.
“I’ll be here if you need me.”
His words followed her into the room, creating a hollow feeling deep inside her instead of comforting her the way she knew he intended. She pushed everything to the back of her mind when her eyes rested on Matty.
He was sitting in the middle of the cot, a blanket covering him to the waist, his left arm held shoulder-high as a nurse finished wrapping it. A fresh cast encased the lower half of it, running from his hand to just below his elbow. Her heart sank when she looked closer and saw the cast he had chosen.
Plain white casts were a thing of the past. Patients had their choice of colors and styles, from solid neon to rainbow splashes, from favorite comic characters to favored sports teams. Matty’s arm had been turned into an advertisement for the Baltimore Banners. She bit her lip, noticed the solid white strips in the exact center of the cast and knew that it had been wrapped in pieces in order for there to even be a plain section.
For autographs, no doubt.
An irrational flare of anger spouted inside Catherine and she pushed it away. She took a deep breath and stepped closer to the bed, trying to smile when she saw Matty’s grin.
“Hey, Mom. Check out the cast. Isn’t it cool? Shelley did it up for me special, so I can get everyone to sign it.” Matty held his arm out for her inspection. She nodded over it, flashed a thankful smile at the nurse, then turned to Brian.
“What happened?”
“Everything is fine. It was just a little accident.”
“‘Little accidents’ don’t cause broken arms, Brian. Is everything else okay? Where are the X-rays? I want to see them.”
“Catherine, everything is fine. The X-rays are fine.”
“I want to see them. Now.”
Brian stared at her then grabbed a large envelope from the corner table and handed it to her. She pulled out the films, held them against the light board on the wall beside her and studied them, aware of Shelley leaving the room.
“Just a hairline fracture of the radius. Nothing else,” Catherine muttered to herself as relief washed over her.
“Which is what I said.”
She pulled the films off the board and stuffed them back in the envelope. “Yes, you did. So what happened then?”
“How did you get here?”
She almost answered the question before realizing it had been a deliberate ploy to change the subject. She pursed her lips together and studied Brian, noticed how uncomfortable he was and how he refused to meet her eyes. Catherine glanced at Matty and noticed that he had suddenly become preoccupied with the blanket covering him from the waist down. She had the distinct impression that both of them were hiding something.
“Does somebody want to tell me what happened?”
“It wasn’t his fault, Mom. Really it wasn’t.” The words rushed from Matty’s mouth, accompanied by his patented look of puppy-dog innocence. Catherine pursed her lips again and looked from one to the other, waiting. Silence greeted her.
“What happened?”
“Matty, do you want to go wait —”
“I want to know what happened, and I want to know now.” Catherine’s clipped words filled the room with even more tension as she fought to control her irrational fear. Matty fidgeted, failing to hide his eagerness to be anywhere but there.
“We went ice skating this morning and —”
“You what?” Brian flinched at her raised voice and lowered his eyes to the floor. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her anger from her voice and failing. “You took him ice skating? Without my permission? After knowing how much I’m against it?”
Catherine blew another deep breath between her clenched teeth, ran a hand through her hair and paced in circles. “Why, Brian? You know how I feel!” She pointed to Matty’s arm. “This! This is why I don’t want him skating! He’s not ready for it!”
“Mom, it was an accident.”
“It was my fault, Catherine.”
She stopped her pacing, looked from Matty’s red face and wet eyes to Brian’s stubborn stance and determined frown. “I don’t care. That’s it. No more skating.”
“Catherine!” Brian’s raised voice stopped her. Her head whipped around in his direction and she stared at him, saw the anger in his eyes and opened her mouth for a retort. Her mouth snapped shut with an audible click at his next words. “It was my fault, Catherine. I tripped and fell, and knocked him over, and that’s when he broke his arm.”
The silence surrounding them after Brian’s confession was louder than their voices had been. Catherine bit her lip, feeling like she had just been betrayed by her best friend.
She had been betrayed by her best friend.
“You broke my son’s arm.” Catherine squeezed her eyes closed and fought to replace the hurt with anger. “That’s just great. Wonderful. Fine. Matty, let’s go.”
“No!”
Catherine whirled at Matty’s outburst, staring at him in shock. He never talked back to her, never. “Excuse me?”
“It was an accident, Mom. I’m okay. See?” He slid off the cot, his broken arm cradled next to his chest.
“Hey there, kiddo. Nice cast.” Nathan’s steady voice echoed around the room, creating an unnatural stillness in the aftermath of the outbursts. Catherine tensed, feeling his eyes boring into her back. She ignored the impulse to turn and order him from the room, knowing it would only make things worse, knowing she had no right to take this out on him.
“Nathan!” Matty’s eyes widened as he looked past Catherine, a bright smile on his face. She clenched her teeth and curled her fists in anger and frustration when Matty walked right by her without even looking. His gait was steady and she realized that anyone who didn’t know about the prosthesis would be unable to tell he used one from the way he walked.
“Nathan, this isn’t…” Her words froze in her throat, choking her when she saw the cool look he tossed her way. His eyes remained steady on hers, assessing, before he looked away and gave Matty his full attention.
“Well, check this out. I never knew we had our own line of casts. That’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, and see how Shelley wrapped it? So I can have people sign it in the middle. You want to sign it?”
Nathan’s answering laughter filled the room, a direct contradiction to the icy tension hovering in all four corners of the small cubicle. Catherine shifted uncomfortably, chanced a glance at Brian to see his reaction and noticed that he was engrossed in studying the crease of his shirtsleeve.
“Of course I’ll sign it. Just tell me you didn’t do that on purpose so you could get autographs.” Matty laughed and smiled when Nathan leaned over to ruffle his hair. A flash of jealousy pierced Catherine at her son’s reaction to the gesture, knowing that Matty always pulled away when she did the same thing.
“No. It was an accident. Uncle Bri…I mean…” Matty glanced at Catherine and Brian then lowered his voice, but not low enough that he couldn’t be heard. “Uncle Bri doesn’t know how to s
kate and he fell on me.”
“Yeah, I heard.” Nathan looked up and stared hard at Catherine, his smile gone. She squirmed under his direct gaze, knew he was telling her that her shouting could be heard outside. Her face heated and she looked away, hurt, angry and now embarrassed. “So, you got a pen I can sign that thing with?”
“Oh. No. Don’t you have one?”
“Sorry, kiddo, fresh out of pens. You want to go see if they have something on that big desk I saw out there?”
“Nathan, I don’t think —”
“No, it’s okay.” Nathan fixed her with an unreadable expression, one that filled her with even more anxiety because she couldn’t understand it. She fidgeted then shook her head.
“Nathan —”
“We’ll be fine, won’t we, Matty?” Nathan ruffled her son’s hair again then led him out of the room without a backward glance. Catherine watched their disappearance, surprised at the sudden emptiness she felt. She blinked against the sting of tears in the back of her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, wondering if she would ever feel warm again.
“Well. That was fun.” Brian muttered the words under his breath, loud enough so she could hear them. He busied himself with cleaning up a side cart, refusing to look at her.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Oh, Catherine, c’mon. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”
“Overreacting? Brian, you took Matty skating without my permission, knowing perfectly well how I feel about it. You broke my son’s arm!” Catherine paced in circles, motioning wildly with her hands as she tried to calm her breathing. “I feel like my best friend betrayed me!”
Catherine’s voice cracked as a tear spilled from her eye, and she wiped at it, angry, furious, wanting suddenly to do no more than take that anger out on something. Anything. She spun around, surprised at the strength of her emotions, not wanting Brian to see her, afraid of how out of control she looked.
“You want to be pissed at me, fine. You’ve got every right. It was a stupid mistake, I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry. Sorrier than you know. Hell, I’m pissed at myself. But everything else…”
Catherine fingered the smooth edge of the metal table in front of her, felt Brian’s eyes on her but refused to turn around, refused to ask him what he meant. The silence stretched for minutes before he let out a deep breath and spoke.
“I’m the one who’s guilty here, Catherine. Not you. Don’t use this as an excuse to shut down again.”
“Excuse me?” Catherine whirled on him, her eyes wide, her face heated with anger and disbelief. She couldn’t have heard him correctly. “Tell me I didn’t just hear that.”
“Are you afraid of the truth, Catherine?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The guilt is written all over your face. Even Nathan could see it. Don’t let this spoil something that could be good for you, Catherine. Don’t use this as an excuse to hide away again.” Brian’s voice was soft and full of sympathy, bringing tears to her eyes when she realized he spoke the truth. She did hide, because it was easier that way. But that didn’t mean she wanted to admit the truth, even to herself.
“I don’t hide, Brian. I have responsibilities, and they come first. They have to. Once they’re taken care of, then maybe I can enjoy life.” Catherine’s voice broke and she frantically blinked back the tears that were threatening. She felt moisture on her face and knew she had failed. Brian took a step toward her, sympathy and regret etched clearly on his face.
“Catherine…”
“No.” She backed up a step, shaking her head as he reached for her. “No. I’ll be fine. I just need to get Matty home.”
“Catherine —”
She shook her head again, pivoted on her heel and pulled open the door, ignoring the curious looks from the meandering staff as she concentrated on walking a steady line to the desk. Steve looked up at her and she tried to offer him a weak smile.
“Where’s Matty?”
“Matty? He, um, he left.”
A pit opened in Catherine’s stomach and filled with a blast of cold air. She fought back the panic, swallowed, took a deep breath. “What do you mean, he left? Left how?”
“With Mr. Conners.”
“When?”
“Five minutes ago. He looked upset. From, well, you know.”
“Oh, God.” Catherine took another deep breath, ran her fingers through her hair and squeezed her head between her hands, turning in a small circle while a hundred thoughts swamped her. “Not this. No more. I can’t handle this.”
“Catherine, what is it?”
She turned at the sound of Brian’s voice and reached out for him. “Matty left with Nathan.”
“What?” Brian looked at her then turned to face Steve. He shifted under their combined stares, finally shrugging.
“Matty was upset and asked Nathan to take him home.”
Catherine tried to reduce her near-hysteria to inconsequential worry, telling herself that Matty was safe with Nathan. But why would he leave without telling her? She took a deep breath, then another, and briefly considered which one she wanted to yell at first before deciding that neither of them deserved it. The whole thing was her fault. She should have seen how upset Matty was. She shouldn’t have overreacted — to Matty’s broken arm, to Brian. To everything.
Catherine turned to Brian, ready to ask him for a ride home when he pulled the car keys from his pocket and motioned for her to follow him.
“Mom’s going to be angry at you for doing this, won’t she?”
Nathan took his eyes from the road to glance at the boy sitting next to him. He then turned his attention back to the traffic. Angry was an understatement. Nathan just shrugged and offered Matty a carefree smile. “No big deal.”
“I shouldn’t have asked you.” Matty’s miserable whisper hit Nathan straight in the chest, unleashing an emotion he had no business feeling. It was one thing to be pals or to joke around, but another thing altogether to start feeling so protective.
“Hey, kiddo, don’t sweat it. It’ll work out.” Nathan tried to make his voice light and winced at how flat the words sounded. Matty sighed and leaned his head against the passenger window, visibly worried. “Besides, I think she’s already mad at me. This won’t make any difference.”
“Why is she mad at you?”
“I have no idea.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Nathan knew Catherine well enough to figure out that she was suffering from some serious guilt about Matty’s broken arm. What he didn’t know was how much of her guilt would turn into regret, and if she would blame him or just herself.
A soft moan caught Nathan’s attention and he turned to look at Matty, noticed the way he was cradling the broken arm against his stomach. He called himself a fool for not realizing sooner that Matty would be in pain. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Matty swallowed then nodded. “It’s just a little uncomfortable is all.”
Uncomfortable hell, Nathan thought. Judging from his pale and sweaty face, the arm was a lot more than just uncomfortable. Nathan pursed his lips then eased the car into the turn lane.
“Hey, Matty, how about going to my place? It’s closer and you could lie down for a bit until your mom picks you up.”
“Okay.” Matty was unusually quiet. Nathan looked over and noticed the pained look on his face. The protectiveness he felt earlier grew, and Nathan’s anxiety grew right along with it.
He needed his head examined.
Matty had fallen into a restless sleep by the time Nathan pulled into the parking lot of his complex. He let out a sigh and waited, watching the slow rise and fall of Matty’s chest.
“Perfect. Now what?” Nathan leaned over and gently pushed on Matty’s leg. Still nothing. He shook his head, got out of the car and went around to the other side, slowly opening the passenger door so Matty wouldn’t fall out. He bent down and scooped the sleeping kid into his arms, wincing at the pull in his knee. Matty stirred, look
ed at him through half-closed eyes.
“Nathan?”
“Shh, kiddo. Go back to sleep.” A knot formed in Nathan’s stomach when Matty wrapped his good arm around his neck and rested his head on his shoulder. Nathan kicked the car door closed, careful not to jostle Matty as he walked.
The first thing he was going to do when he made it inside was get Matty comfortable. The second was going to be a phone call to Catherine to let her know where Matty was. And the third…
Well, the third was going to be another phone call, this one to a shrink because there was no doubt in Nathan’s mind that he needed his head checked.
Chapter Eleven
Bzzz. Bzzz.
“Go away.” The sleepy mumble tumbled from Nathan’s mouth as he rolled over and tried to get comfortable.
Bzzz. Pause. Bzzz. Bang. Bang. Bang.
Nathan groaned, wondered what the irritating noise was, wondered why his bed suddenly seemed so much smaller and harder.
Bang. Bang.
The loud noise dragged Nathan from the gray depths of hazy sleep. He opened his eyes, squinting at the surroundings that were barely more than shadows in the dim light, and realized he had fallen asleep on the sofa. The banging was more insistent this time, and he wondered why someone was trying to beat his door down. Memory swam to the surface of his mind as he sat up.
Matty and his broken arm. Bringing him here.
Catherine.
The reason for the banging noise was suddenly clear. Nathan stumbled to the door, looking at his watch and groaning at how much time had passed since he brought Matty here.
“Oh, hell.” His hand closed around the cold knob, twisted and pulled just as Catherine raised her hand to knock again. She lost her balance and stumbled as the momentum carried her forward. Nathan reached out to steady her.
“Where’s Matty?”
“He’s sleeping…” Nathan’s voice trailed off as Catherine pushed by him, squinting her eyes in the darkness. Nathan reached over and flipped the wall switch; soft light from two end lamps chased the shadows back to the corners. He was about to close the door then stumbled back when Brian walked in.
Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) Page 13
