“Where?”
“Where what? Oh, Matty.” Nathan rubbed his hands over his face then straight back through his hair, grimacing at the dryness in his mouth. He couldn’t remember the last time he had fallen asleep in the middle of the day. “He’s in my room.”
Catherine turned and walked through the living room to the short hallway, peeked through the open door with an audible sigh of relief. She looked back at Nathan with an unreadable expression before walking in, leaving him and Brian alone.
Nathan shook his head and walked to the kitchen, desperate for something cold to drink to wake him up.
“You shouldn’t have left the hospital with Matty.”
Nathan turned to see that Brian had followed him into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door, studying the shelves for a full minute before grabbing a carton of milk. “He was upset and asked to leave. What was I supposed to do?”
“Well, you could have told his mother for starters.”
Nathan gave Brian a look that left no room for doubt about his thoughts on that idea. He brought the open carton to his nose, sniffed, then frowned at the sour smell and put it back.
“Or you could have taken him to his own house.”
He ignored Brian, letting him have his own one-way conversation as he continued his search for something to drink.
“Dammit, the least you could have done was call Catherine and let her know.”
“I did. There was no answer so I left a message. Twice. And then I paged her. Still no answer.” Nathan pulled the pitcher of water from the door of the refrigerator and grabbed a clean glass from a cabinet. He poured a glass and drained it in one long swallow, refilled it and drank again.
“Oh.” Brian shifted his weight from one foot to the other then leaned against the counter and studied Nathan. “I guess she forgot her pager.”
“Guess so.” Nathan drained his third glass of water and placed the near-empty pitcher in the sink, ready to refill the reservoir so the water could be filtered.
“So. Is Matty okay? Is his arm —”
“His arm hurts like hell but he’s afraid to admit it because of his mom.” A concern that Nathan completely understood, especially after seeing how protective — how overly cautious — Catherine was when it came to Matty. “Other than that, he’s fine. He took one of the pills they left out for him at the hospital not long after we got here, and he’s been sleeping ever since. And I even made sure to put ice on his arm.”
“I see.” There was a short pause, filled only by the sound of running water. Brian cleared his throat and Nathan prepared himself for the next barrage of questions and comments. “You, um, don’t seem too happy. I didn’t think having Matty for such a short time would have been such a big inconvenience.”
“Oh, for crissakes. I don’t believe this.” Nathan slammed the faucet off then turned and fixed Brian with a harsh glare. “Matty is not an inconvenience. Far from it. He’s probably the most easygoing kid I’ve ever met and…and why am I even explaining this to you?”
“I see.”
“Somehow I doubt that.” Nathan leaned against the counter and crossed his arms tightly in front of him, staring at a spot on the floor as a still quiet permeated the room.
“Oh, I don’t know. My guess is that Matty got to you.”
Nathan looked up in time to see a small grin lift the corner of the doctor’s mouth. He shook his head and grunted, not sure how to respond, not sure if a response was even necessary. Saying that the kid got to him was one of the biggest understatements Nathan had heard in a long time.
Matty had gotten to him, in ways he didn’t want to think about. His strength and positive outlook was a contradiction to everything the poor kid had been through. Poor kid. The words echoed through Nathan’s mind. Matty could never be described as a “poor kid.” If anything, he could set a positive example for many adults Nathan knew.
“They’re a package deal, you know.”
Nathan grunted again and looked up, not surprised to see Brian studying him with a carefully blank expression. He finally met the doctor’s stare and softly gave voice to the thought that had been spinning through his mind. “Yeah, well…I don’t think Catherine’s ready for any kind of deal, if you ask me.”
Brian shrugged and casually looked around the kitchen. Nathan wondered what he was looking for but didn’t ask. He had no desire to play host, afraid that this wasn’t a social call, afraid that Catherine’s guilt and sense of responsibility would pull her away before they had a chance to start anything.
“Catherine’s been through a lot, and most of it on her own. She’s not accustomed to being with anyone. Try not to hold that against —” Brian stopped midsentence, interrupted by a muffled beep, beep, beep. He swore softly under his breath and pulled a small pager from his trousers pocket. He glanced at it then offered Nathan a weak smile. “The hospital. I need to go.”
Nathan watched the doctor walk out of the kitchen and he wondered where the conversation had been heading when another thought occurred to him. He pushed off the counter to follow Brian then nearly collided with him when he turned the corner.
“Nathan, I hate to ask this, but is there any way…Would you be able to take Catherine and Matty home?”
“Uh, I don’t —”
“Great, thanks.” Brian turned back around and headed for the door before Nathan caught his breath enough to protest.
“I don’t think she’d want —”
“She’ll get over it, don’t worry.” Brian tossed him a look that Nathan didn’t understand then stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him. Silence followed, leaving Nathan stunned. He stared at the empty spot where Brian had been only a second before then released his breath through pursed lips, suddenly feeling like he had been set up. Again.
“Wonderful.” Nathan placed fisted hands on his hips and shook his head, wondering where his common sense had gone. He was still standing there a few minutes later when Catherine emerged from the bedroom, pulling the door closed behind her.
“Matty’s still sleeping….” Her voice trailed off as she came to a stop a few feet away and looked around. Nathan clenched his jaw against the frustration he felt when she avoided looking at him. “Um, where’s Brian?”
“Gone.”
“Gone?” Catherine’s face visibly paled as she finally met his eyes. The look of despair on her face unleashed a mix of emotions in Nathan that he didn’t want to examine.
“Yeah. He got a page and left.”
“Oh.” Catherine continued to stare at Nathan, obviously uncomfortable, and he recognized the morning-after regret, along with her guilt. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her downcast eyes focused on the floor. Nathan noticed how her hands fidgeted, nervously playing with the crease of her slacks before clenching each other. “Um, did he say when he was coming back?”
“He’s not.”
“He’s…what do you mean, he’s not?”
“Just what I said.” Nathan turned away from her, from the anxiety in her eyes and the small tremor of uncertainty that edged her nervous words. The spacious living room with its vaulted ceiling suddenly seemed small and suffocating. He took a step toward the kitchen, stopped, then made a half turn toward the hallway before realizing escape to his bedroom was also impossible. The spare room would have been an option if not for all the weight-lifting equipment and hockey gear that cluttered it, and he had no desire to lock himself up in the spare bathroom. Maybe the loft would offer some escape….
“May I borrow your phone, please?”
Nathan tensed at the cool formality in her voice. Irrational anger flared through him at her ability to smother her emotions when his own were always so close to the surface. He stopped his search for escape and stared at her. “Why?”
The question caught her off guard. Her mouth opened and closed silently as she stared at him through narrowed eyes. Nathan bit back an oath when she raised her chin a notch, a sure sign of the st
ubbornness that streaked through her.
“So I can call a taxi.” Her coolness lowered the temperature in the room by a few degrees.
Nathan studied her, looking for signs of the warmth he knew she possessed, and suddenly realized it was all an act. The slight trembling that shook her delicate hands was disguised by clenched fists; the sheen of moisture in her eyes was replaced by an icy glare.
Yes, it was definitely an act. From the beginning, the facade he had noticed had been erected for protection, a barrier against an outside world that wasn’t always kind. The insight jolted Nathan like contact with a live wire, hard and biting.
So what did he want to do about it? Let her continue with her barriers, or take a chance and crash through them?
The saner part of his mind told him to just let it go. To take the easy way out and point her to the phone.
“No.” The single word that fell from his mouth caught him by surprise and sent a silent groan through the part of his mind that was thinking clearly. The other part, the part that possessed entirely too much emotion for his own good, breathed a sigh of relief and gave a quiet shout of delight at the expression that crossed her face.
Again, Catherine’s mouth opened in silent protest. Nathan smothered the grin that wanted to break free at the sight of her indecision and uncertainty. He turned toward the kitchen, hoping he knew what he was doing.
“Then how do you suggest we get home?” Her voice, so close behind him, wasn’t as cool or certain as before. Nathan shrugged, then slid the pocket door of the kitchen closed and threw the small lock, effectively trapping her inside the room with him.
A flush of pleasure shot through him as Catherine sputtered her outrage. He could hear her breathing, sensed her indecision as she paced a few steps behind him. Nathan finally turned and looked at her. Her brown eyes glowed with irritation as she motioned wildly with her hands. He cocked an eyebrow in her direction and bit back a smile when she stepped closer, the flush on her face growing bright.
“What are you doing? And how are we supposed to get home?”
“Catherine, I’ll take you home. No need to worry, okay?”
Just like that, the fight and apprehension evaporated from her. She shook her head, though Nathan wasn’t sure what she was denying. Catherine stared at him for a long minute then slowly closed the small space between them. She fidgeted then swallowed audibly, not looking at him.
“Nathan, I…” The words trailed off in a choked whisper and she tried to take a step backward, only to be stopped when he folded his arms around her and pulled her closer. He tilted her chin up and searched her face, gazing into her eyes.
“Catherine, you don’t need to worry, okay? And you don’t need to feel guilty, or act like we did anything wrong.” Her eyes briefly met his, wide with uncertainty and emotion before she looked away. The body he held in his arms was stiff; he could feel a tremor pass through her as she fought to keep her distance, if not physically then at least emotionally.
“I…I don’t…” Nathan tightened his hold around her and once again tilted her head so she was forced to look at him. His breath hitched at the emotion in her eyes. He gentled his hold, glad when she didn’t pull away.
Quiet seconds stretched before he noticed the moisture filling her eyes. He held her close, ignoring the squeeze in his chest when she relaxed against him and rested her head on his shoulder.
He refused to look too closely at the comfort he felt at just holding her, of having her in his arms. There would be time for that later, he thought. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the feel of her body tucked close against his, wanted to enjoy the sensation of protection that surged through him at the trust she showed in the simple act of wrapping her arms around his waist.
“Nathan, about this morning…” Her words were muffled against his chest. The warmth of her breath seared his skin through the cotton T-shirt and Nathan’s jaw clenched at his body’s instant reaction. He shifted and gazed down at Catherine, saw the anxiety in her eyes.
“Shh. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, I have to.” She pulled away from him, looked around before facing him again. “I didn’t mean to act distant. It’s just everything with Matty…I’m sorry.”
The apology hung in the air between them and Nathan knew how hard it had been for her to offer it. She stood in front of him, watching, waiting. Seconds ticked by as they stared at each other before Nathan offered her a small smile.
“You weren’t too distant. Guilty, maybe.” Nathan hurried on when disappointment crossed her face. “But I understand, Catherine. I do.”
“How can you? I don’t understand myself!” The pain that flashed in her eyes was unbearable and Nathan wanted to do nothing more than reach out to her again. He sensed that it wasn’t time yet so he remained still, watching as she fought some silent battle. “I just…God, I don’t know what to do anymore! Matty’s changing. I’m changing. Nothing is the same and it scares the hell out of me. It scares me that Matty might get hurt again and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Catherine, you have to let him grow up.”
“I know that! Don’t you think I know that? But it’s so hard. I don’t want him hurt, and part of me is so afraid that I’ve already hurt him by being so protective. I mean, what if I’ve made things worse for him?”
“Catherine —”
“Let me finish!” Nathan winced, surprised she sounded so frantic, so desperate. He took a step forward then stopped when she held up one hand to hold him off. “Please, let me finish. This is so hard for me. You have no idea how hard.” She took a deep breath, released it on a ragged sigh but remained silent.
Nathan sensed that she was struggling with something, felt her indecision and frustration and helplessness. He bit back an oath and suddenly closed the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her as she muttered a small protest. “Catherine, stop. You don’t have to explain. You don’t have to apologize.”
“But I do! What if I made things worse for him? What if I keep making things worse? I’m so afraid that…”
Nathan felt something tighten in his stomach. He swallowed hard, willing her to look at him. “Afraid of what?”
The air around them thickened, crackled with tension as time stretched. Nathan held his breath as he searched her eyes and waited. “What are you afraid of, Catherine?”
“Everything.” The word fell from her mouth, full of agony and ache. Her throat worked silently as she met his gaze. “Of everything. Of Matty, of you. Of this.”
The vulnerability on her face went straight to his chest. A fist closed around Nathan’s heart and squeezed, constricting until his lungs ached from it. He took a deep breath, felt the pain ease as they stared at each other in the charged silence. There were words he could say to ease her fear, words he wanted to say but he choked them back, afraid of what she would say. Hell, he was afraid of what he might say himself.
Instead he lowered his mouth to hers, gently rubbed his lips against hers in a soft kiss meant to reassure, to take the place of the unformed words stuck in his throat. What was meant as gentle comfort quickly escalated out of control, erupting into a frenzied mating of breath and tongues, of roaming hands and pounding heartbeats. Nathan’s arms tightened around her, lifted and molded her pliant hips against his as he caught the soft groan that escaped her with his mouth.
Out of control. The phrase echoed through his mind, accusing, warning. Nathan ignored it, could think of nothing but the soft woman in his arms as he pulled his mouth from hers, dragged it along the narrow column of her throat. Catherine’s knees buckled and she tumbled against him as her head fell back.
He leaned down, wrapped his arms around her thighs and lifted. A tortured sound ripped from his chest when her legs wrapped securely around his waist and he fumbled against the counter, turned then gently eased her onto the cool surface. He ignored the sharp clink of canisters rolling against each other, ignored the rush of emotion that mingled with the w
arning in his head, focusing instead on the sweet, hot flesh under his mouth.
“But Matty —” Catherine’s voice was a ragged whisper in his ear. He dragged his mouth back up Catherine’s neck, felt her chest heave against his as he gently nipped her earlobe.
“The door’s locked and he’s sleeping. We’re okay.”
“Are you sure?”
Nathan nodded then inhaled sharply at her smile as her hands tightened their hold around his neck, tugged at his hair and forced his mouth back to hers. Their eyes met for a second, caught and held as the passion flared between them.
Their mouths crashed together, hungry and feeding. Nathan’s hands roamed over her, touching, searching. He silently cursed the barrier of her shirt, reached down and pulled the blouse from her slacks before pulling it over her head and tossing it aside, quickly following it with her silk bra. Nathan pulled away, let his eyes feast on her creamy skin. His groin tightened painfully, viciously, as he gazed at her.
Catherine raised her hands and he brushed them away when she would have covered herself. He reached out and gently cupped her with his own callused hands, felt the warm flesh mold under his touch. Catherine sighed sharply as he lowered his mouth and closed his lips around one taut nipple and suckled and teased.
She moaned again, dug her fingers into his shoulders and pushed him away. Nathan looked at her through glazed eyes, realized she was dragging at his shirt. He stepped back and peeled the shirt off in one quick move, stepped closer and enjoyed the feel of bare flesh pressed against bare flesh.
He wanted her. Oh, how he wanted her.
His tongue swept the inside of her mouth and danced with hers as his hands dropped to the waistband of her slacks. In seconds he was tugging at the material, easing her pants and underwear down around her hips as she wiggled against him.
He wanted her. Bad enough that he would take her right here, on the kitchen counter.
Guilt niggled at the back of his mind as he pushed linen and silk down her legs, letting the garments fall at his feet. Catherine deserved better than cold granite. He wanted to treat her to a downy mattress, to smooth silk that rivaled the softness of her skin. The guilt ebbed and flowed through him, fighting with the heat of Catherine’s hands wandering over his burning flesh, hesitant and teasing.
Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) Page 14
