His throat bobs as he swallows, and sweat beads his forehead. He doesn’t say anything as his fear thickens the air around us.
“Here’s what you’re going to do. I want everything that my uncle owns to be under my name. And don’t worry, you still get your thirty percent. The deal’s the deal.”
“Um… If you don’t mind me asking, how did he die, Ms. Romano?”
I chuckle.
“Don’t tell me you’re going to cry because you feel bad for the one man you wanted dead yesterday before today.”
He swallows thickly and drops his gaze to the pile of papers spread all over his desk.
“Consider it done.” He says firmly.
“Good,” I say, and walk out of the office.
Closing the door behind me, I shut my eyes and inhale sharply.
Fuck. I did it. I never thought this moment would actually come. Four years ago, when I made the deal with Gary, I believed that killing my uncle was a dubious possibility.
I always wanted to paint my hand with his blood. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen the way I wanted it to because Maksim ended up killing him.
Gary was the one to approach me because he hated my uncle more than he hated pickles in his cheeseburgers. And keep in mind, he’s allergic to pickles.
He didn’t want to work for my uncle anymore but didn’t have the balls to end his own anguish by taking down my uncle. Simply because he was just one of my uncle’s dogs and had absolutely no power over anything but my uncle’s businesses.
In the beginning, I didn’t trust him because I thought he was trying to trick me. But then I realized that he indeed abhorred my uncle and everything that had to do with him. He wanted out because he’d had enough. So we made a deal that if I ever kill my uncle, he would transfer everything under my name legally since he was a shady lawyer who knew his way around the system, and in return, I would give him thirty percent of everything I own so he can finally free himself from the misery.
My goal is to take the money and distribute it among every single woman my uncle has ever tortured in that tunnel. They deserve the money for suffering as much as they did. At least, that way, I’ll know that despite being a heartless murderer and an evil monster, I still tried to do something good for those women. And to think any one of those women I saw in that tunnel could have had the same fate as Lydia…
Shaking the thought away, I walk over to the bar and find Yeva still in the same spot. She looks so cute and lonely while drinking her margarita. She looks over her shoulder and sees me walking toward her. Her smile widens, causing small wrinkles to appear at the corner of her eyes.
“There you are!” she exclaims with pure joy.
I lock my arms around her and hug her tightly. I need the hug more than she does. Yeva lets me soak up the hug before pulling away from my embrace.
“How was the phone call?” she asks sweetly.
Averting my gaze away, I nod, “It was alright.”
She sighs.
“Elena, you can tell me I’m good at keeping secrets.”
I glance at her and frown.
“What do you mean?”
“I know it’s Maksim you’ve been talking to, Elena. Even the other day in the kitchen, I figured you had just spoken to him before I walked in and invaded your space.”
I smile as tenderly as I can manage. Yeva is a true gem.
“You’re the sweetest human being I know, and Mikhail is a lucky man. He better take care of you or else he’ll have to deal with me.”
A rush of excitement sends color to her cheeks. She drops her gaze to her lap right before taking another sip.
I watch her intently, and for a fraction of a second, I just wish I was as innocent and pure as she is. My body heats at the memory of my crime. Humiliation overcomes me so quickly and I swallow hard as the tears pool in my eyes.
A criminal is all I’ll ever be. Forever and always.
Maksim
My throat is dry, and my back hurts so bad I think I fractured it. I stifle a groan as I try to lean on my back rather than my stomach but a new pain emerges. This time, it makes me howl like a beast in extreme pain that I give up moving instantly and remain lying down on my stomach.
Opening my eyes slowly, I assess my surroundings carefully. It doesn’t take me long to realize that I’m in my bed. Moving my arm up, my hand comes into view, and I flinch as my eyes widen in alarm at the horrid discovery.
Both my hands are wrapped in thick bandages. Frowning, I force my brain to remember what happened when Aleksandr appears at the door.
“Good morning.” He says, placing a coffee mug on the night table beside my bed.
“What happened?”
“I walked into the house after hearing you bark from the front porch. You were breaking shit and passed out right before I got to stop you from hurting yourself.”
Yes. Now I fucking remember.
“I need water.”
He points his finger at the night table where a glass of water is located.
He helps me up by getting me into a sitting position as soon as he notices that there’s no way I can do this by myself. When I’m done gulping down the water, he places it back on the surface of the night table and fixes me a serious look.
“What the fuck happened?”
My annoyance flares immediately, remembering the last conversation I had with her over the phone – the exact same one that made me lose my fucking mind and break everything in my house.
“I spoke with her over the phone. She said she can’t be with me anymore.” I explain, a pang of sadness gripping my chest.
“Why the fuck would you speak to her over the phone? Was she the one who called you?”
“I called her.”
He sighs like a tormented man before training his eyes on mine.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? I thought the whole point of you coming here was to give her space.”
“It’s been fucking weeks. I’m tired of this shit, Aleksandr. I’m going back home today and punishing her for everything.” I growl.
He shakes his head in disappointment, but he remains silent.
“Why did you come here, anyway?”
“Because I have things to tell you, and they have to do with Elena.”
I straighten my posture and give all my attention to Aleksandr.
“I think I know what she did.” He fixes me a serious look. “She killed someone.”
Elena
Gripping the door frame tightly, I place my palm on my forehead as a rush of dizziness hits me. The amount of alcohol Yeva and I ended up drinking last night is the cause behind the throbbing pain in my temples.
I walk into the washroom and take a quick shower before getting dressed when a knock comes at the door.
“Just one minute,” I call out as I adjust my shirt.
When I open the door, Yeva stands at the door looking at me with tired eyes.
I frown. “What?”
“Did you forget?” she asks.
“Forget what?”
“We’re going shopping today. You promised me we’ll go wedding dress shopping today.”
I wince inwardly, remembering my promise. I was drunk when I promised her that the first thing we would do today is shop for a wedding dress. I forgot Yeva could be persistent once you make her a promise.
“Sure.” I smile weakly. “I'll just get my purse.”
We get Starbucks on our way to the shop and chitchat about how she wants her wedding to be. The kind of decorations she would like to have and the number of people she would like to invite. I didn’t realize how hard my nails were biting into my clenched fists until she repeated her question, thinking I didn’t hear her when, in fact, I heard her perfectly.
I just don’t know how to answer.
“I don’t know.” I blurt out.
“You don’t think you and Maksim are going to have the biggest wedding in town? Come on, no matter how hard things might be right now, love alwa
ys wins at the end.” She explains with a twinkle in her eyes.
I ignore her words and walk into the shop. She follows me and goes on talking, but I stop hearing her. I let my eyes wander around the store, lingering on a beautiful white dress on a mannequin standing in the middle of the store. I used to read about women getting married to the men of their dreams in books while I was locked up in my uncle’s house. I always wondered if I was ever going to have a happy ending as delightful as theirs. But then I always reminded myself that those books are fiction – imaginary and unlike what happens in our real world.
“How about this one?”
I turn toward Yeva, my eyes linger on the beautiful lace dress she’s carrying in her hands.
“It’s beautiful. Go try it on and show me.” I reply honestly and head over to the sitting area and take a seat at one of the comfortable guest chairs. I’ve experienced pain and dejection, depression and anxiety, humiliation, and physical torture, but I have never in my whole life experienced what I’m feeling at the moment. It’s even hard to form the words in order to explain it. My heart is crashing against my ribcage and I’m so confused by the unfamiliar sensations that my trembling, sweat-slick hands are a mixture of cold and warm at the same time. I want to curse but I also want to cry.
What’s going on with me?
As soon as I see Yeva walking toward me with a wide grin on her face, I firmly urge myself to be calm. Today is about her and not about me.
“OMG! Elena, I love this one so much!” she exclaims happily, and for a moment, seeing her happy and excited like this makes my worries forgotten. She looks stunning. The dress fits her perfectly as if it was made strictly just for her.
I rise from my seat and walk over to her.
“You look beautiful, Yeva. You have no idea how happy I am for you.” I mean the words with all my heart. My eyes fill with tears as she throws herself in my embrace. I hug her tightly, needing the warmth and the reassurance myself. I just wish I could open up to her about what burden I keep locked deep inside of me. It would feel so good to have someone else confirm that indeed I deserve to suffer. I deserve to struggle and pay for my crime by losing everything I have and care about the most – friendship: Yeva. Family: everybody that lives in the house and that I got to know through living in Maksim’s mansion. And love: Maksim.
“I think I’m saying yes to this one.” She says, pulling away from my arms.
I nod my approval and watch her walk hurriedly toward the assistant to inform her that she’s buying the dress. I inhale sharply, feeling the weight of the whole world on my shoulders.
Every day it gets harder to breathe and to function like any other normal person. Every day I miss him and want him more than the day before.
Elena
Two more days until the big party. Two more days until I’m gone forever.
My bags are packed and ready for me to carry them as soon as the party is over. I cannot stay here any longer. And the thought of seeing Maksim the day of the engagement party both unnerves me and excites me at the same time.
It’s been so long that I haven’t seen him. And despite the fact that I was the one who asked for him to leave me alone, I can’t help but think of how he must be feeling right now. Does he think of me as much as I do? Does he miss me the way I do? Has he officially forgotten about me for good?
I’m crazy to even think this way. I curse myself to hell every time my mind and body start playing tricks on me, making me crave his touch so desperately that I have to immediately find anything to distract me from obsessing over him. It’s not like the nightmares have officially vanished. Lydia still visits me from time to time, but I have to admit that they did decrease. However, it doesn’t do me any good because if I don’t dream of Lydia, then I dream of Maksim. It’s never about anything else but them. I just can’t seem to escape, no matter how hard I try.
I keep holding on to that one last sparkle of hope that flickers somewhere deep inside of me. Maybe once I’m out of this place, I’ll finally be able to get him out of my mind for good. I have to get out of here. I don’t have a choice. If it wasn’t for Yeva, I would have hit the road a while ago. I don’t have any plans for the future. But I will get out of this country as a whole and maybe go somewhere where I will work as a waitress again and start over.
I’m not doing this to run away from my past. Because no matter how hard I try to forget about what I did, I always end up failing miserably.
My fate is to live in the dark, suffocated by the amount of grief and sorrow that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Fear and anguish have officially taken root so deep inside myself that a simple task such as breathing became an uphill battle. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could disappear for good. And not an hour goes by where I don’t think of him and the way our bodies used to fuse together, making our souls touch. I’ll never feel complete again – that I know for a fact. The tenderness of his touch will forever captivate me, making me starve for his touch.
I draw a sharp breath and rise from the bed. I walk out of my bedroom and take the stairs to the kitchen. The temperature in the house is surprisingly colder than usual today.
Hugging myself, I enter the kitchen and find Alyona pouring coffee into a white mug. She lifts her head, and as soon as her eyes meet mine, she grins widely.
“Elena! How are you?” she asks excitedly.
Alyona has always been cold to me in the past. But I know that behind all of it is a sweet, family-oriented woman who would do anything to help the people she loves and cares for the most.
“I’m good, thanks for asking. It’s good to see you Alyona; how’s your family doing?”
“They’re good. I really needed the vacation.”
I smile.
“I bet you needed it. I’m happy you got to see them and spend time with them. Have you seen Yeva anywhere?”
She shakes her head.
“Not ever since she left this morning with Mr. Jones to do some last-minute shopping for the party.”
“Right. Well, I won’t bother you any longer; you have a great day. Let me know if you need help with anything.”
I walk over to the door, and her voice brings my walking speed to a halt.
“Have I ever told you about the story of me and my husband?”
My forehead creases into a frown. An awkward silence follows for a while before she decides to break it.
“Here,” she pushes the coffee mug toward me. “Have a seat if you have nothing to do, I’ll tell you all about it.”
I sit down at the table and take a sip off my coffee mug. I don’t think Alyona and I have ever had an actual conversation. It’s always been small talk here and there when our paths crossed from time to time.
She sighs gently and smiles.
“I was seventeen when I first saw him. My parents decided to move to Karpova, which is a small village in Russia. My siblings and I didn’t want to leave the city life, but we didn’t have a choice since my father had gotten a job working for a rich family who owned half of the village.” Her gaze drops to the mug that’s clutched tightly in her hands.
“He came to see my father once to ask if he could help him lift some heavy boxes. My father agreed since he was the son of our friendly neighbors. I saw him through the window, and I just felt like I was walking on water.”
She chuckles, and her cheeks turn pink.
“He was so handsome that I felt intimidated by him when he didn’t even see me.”
“Fast forward to when we got to know each other, I believed he wasn’t the right guy for me even though he was a great, family-oriented man. Everything I always wanted in a man, he just had it all. And one day, I woke up at dawn and just like that, out of the blue, I ran to his house and told him to never ever speak to me again and that whatever story we had was over.”
“Why?” I ask, and she shrugs.
“I didn’t really know why I did it back then. I remember running back to my house after delivering the
news to him and crying so hard because my heart was officially broken. And I was the cause of my own dejection.”
She explains, and I swallow hard. Her last words touched my soul.
And I was the cause of my own dejection.
I take another sip and drop my gaze to my lap.
“So, what happened next?” I ask in a tremulous voice.
“He tried so hard, and I kept pushing him away. Every single time I pushed him away, it felt like a knife to my heart. Every time I lied to him by telling him that I didn’t want him or love him anymore, a piece of my heart fell dead to my feet. All because I was confused and most importantly scared.”
“What do you mean?”
She inhales deeply.
“I realized eventually that the only thing that was holding me back from being with the man I loved the most was my fear. I was scared of the unknown and terrified of so many other factors. I was so confused that I even thought I didn’t deserve to be loved by a man like him. So instead of fighting for him, I let him go.”
“But you ended up marrying him. So he didn’t really go anywhere.”
She nods.
“Indeed, I married him. But simply because he himself didn’t give up on us. He kept fighting because he believed that no matter the reason behind my stubbornness and rejection was, we belonged together.”
I look her in the eye.
“Why are you telling me this, Alyona?”
She smiles.
“Because you might not see it, but I do. You’re scared and confused and you remind me a lot of my younger self. A man who loves you will fight for you. It’s only a matter of time until you give up and give him your love and devotion. Just don’t overthink it. Whatever the reason behind your fear is you need to let it go.”
She smiles and continues. “Free yourself, Elena. You have suffered enough in your life, and it’s your time to shine. It’s your time to finally live.”
Maksim
A young brown-haired woman walks into my office. Her eyes drift all over the place as she clutches the ends of her dress and pulls it down nervously. When our eyes meet, she smiles anxiously and takes a seat at one of the chairs across from my desk.
His To Keep: Beasts In The Dark (Book 2) Page 12
