Clayton (The Wildflower Series Book 1)

by Rachelle Mills

  Clayton

  The Wildflower Series 1

  By Rachelle Mills

  CLAYTON

  Copyright © 2018 by Rachelle Mills.

  All rights reserved.

  First Print Edition: December 2018

  Limitless Publishing, LLC

  Kailua, HI 96734

  www.limitlesspublishing.com

  Formatting: Limitless Publishing

  ISBN-13: 978-1-64034-486-0

  ISBN-10: 1-64034-486-1

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  For the Wildflowers, thank you for the belief that I am more than who I thought I was. The start of this book was the seeds being planted and nurtured and turning into a community about us that is flourishing and blooming. Thank you for inspiring me, Wildflowers.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 1

  A Choice

  I wrap my hands around the wooden pole, and they’re latched with a delicate silver chain that I have no hope of breaking.

  The Alpha has delivered justice for my attack of another pack member.

  The whole pack has gathered to watch, my mother’s eyes weeping tears for me, my father’s head hung in shame. I try looking at my mate, but he just holds my competition in his arms, rubbing her back in comfort, her face still bruised and swollen from the beating I gave her. She’s lucky someone pulled me off or else I think I could have ended her life with my leap into insanity.

  The Alpha, my mate’s father, is looking around to all the pack members while the whip hangs lightly in his hand, as if it doesn’t hold a heavy weight. The fabric of my shirt is cut down the back, exposing skin that is about to be scarred with the cruel touch of the lash.

  “I called you all here today to witness Rya’s punishment. She has attacked another member of this pack without provocation.” He’s speaking the truth for the wind to bring to the ears of all those listening. I did attack her, an escalation of words turning into violence between two females wanting the same male.

  Except I am his mate, and she is his everything.

  I went to him as soon as I shifted, knowing who he was to me. She was there; she has always been there since they could walk. He must have known I was his even before I shifted, yet he continued on with her. I begged him, pleaded with him to just give me a chance, making a scene for all to witness. He told me to go, leave. That she might not be his true mate, but she is the one he wants, regardless of what the moon thinks.

  She stood there, not saying anything, as I made a fool out of myself, her perfect face staying stoic the entire time as he dealt with me, a crazy she-wolf fighting for what she thought was hers.

  In a moment of absolute rage, I took that step into insanity, with the intent to kill her, my wolf wanting to eliminate the competition. And I, I decided to embrace the darkness my nature provided. He stopped me. He protected his chosen female from his mate’s wrath.

  The first stroke of the whip tastes my back, greedily devouring my pristine flesh. I don’t look away from my mate, his hand crushing hers. I notice how white her fingertips look as they are deprived of blood. I try to be brave, gritting my jaw against the pain. The next stroke takes me off-guard, and I cry out in agony. A young juvenile female is no match against the justice the whip provides. Even full-grown males beg and plead for mercy given enough hits from the lash.

  Embedding its lethal kiss into my skin, I will always wear my shame for others to see. Another sickening crack screams through the air, cutting another furrowed groove deep into the skin. Blood splatters on the ground, forming a carpet of red.

  I can no longer keep his eyes; my head bows, salt tears trail off cheeks, falling to the ground, mixing with my blood. It’s as if I’m the other jealous female, and she’s his true mate. That’s how I am being treated like: the psycho crazy female.

  Black shoes come into my line of sight. “Rya, you know why I’m doing this?”

  Nodding my head yes to the Alpha, I respond quietly, “I understand.”

  “What do you understand, Rya?”

  I’m crying now with what I have to say. “I tried to kill another pack member.”

  “That’s right. You can’t go around trying to kill another female because your mate does not want you.” My head hangs even lower, my body shaking from my sobs.

  “You have to respect choice, Rya; he doesn’t choose you. He chooses her. You need to respect this and accept this.” His voice is very stern, authority ringing out for everyone to hear.

  “Do you understand this, Rya, that he doesn’t want you?”

  My shoulders are shaking with the truth I am hearing. “Yes, I understand.”

  “You’re to leave them alone, you cannot speak to them unless spoken to, and you cannot follow him around anymore—no contact. Do you understand?”

  “I do.”

  “You have three more lashes. From now on, you are to eat last. You will be at the back of the pack until I tell you otherwise. Do you understand?” The Alpha sounds pained to say this, but it is the usual punishment that is doled out for misbehaving she-wolves who can’t get over their lovers. Except usually, these she-wolves are replaced by mates, not mates who are rejected.

  “I understand.” I grip my hands together, and he makes the whip sing through the air, raining down hard and fast, robbing me of breath. The second strike has sounded, and I scream between gritted teeth. The final strike of the silver lash is meant to be remembered. It drops me to my knees in front of my pack, my parents, and him—my mate. The pain is so great, yet it doesn’t compare to the way my heart has just been torn away. The healer is there instantly, taking the binding from my wrists. Looking up, I see Clayton kissing Kennedy’s forehead, turning their backs on me, walking away hand in hand.

  I can’t breathe.

  My legs refuse to lift my weight. Instead, I stay kneeling with my shoulder against the blood-stained pole for support.

  “Let’s get you up.” The kindness the healer shows me is more than I deserve.

  “Just leave me here,” I whisper. My mother comes over to me, crying. That also hurts my soul, the shame she has to carry, my family has to carry, from my dance with insanity. Just a second without thinking has led me to this moment. Never again will I not think before I act. A cooling cloth is pressed onto my back. Smelling of medicine, it numbs the pain slowly.

  “I’m sorry, Mother.” Still, my voice is shaky with the need to cry. My father’s back is to me; he leaves without another word.

  “Let’s get you home.” Wrapping an arm around my body, the healer helps me
to a standing position. The effort makes sweat roll off my forehead. The healer takes my other side, and I’m somewhat dragged, carried to my home. I lay face down on the bed, and the ointment is spread over the ruined flesh, more bandages applied. My mother is given directions from the healer on how to treat me. A cup is pressed against my lips, and the tart liquid makes my nose scrunch up.

  “It’s so you can sleep.” I finish the concoction before being left alone in my room to think about my actions.

  It takes three days before I don’t need help getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. Three more days for me to be able to walk on my own. Another two more days to go back to school.

  Walking into the cafeteria, I have to endure the sight of them together. I have two more years left; they graduate in the spring. At least I don’t have long till I no longer have to see them every day.

  My friends have turned their backs on me, pretending I’m not standing there, hoping they make room for me to sit with them.

  “I’m sorry, Rya, but all the spots are taken. No room for you anymore.” I don’t say anything back to Cora. It’s no use. Turning away, I take my lunch outside and sit underneath one of the maple trees. The leaves are just starting to unfurl, providing a small amount of shade from the sun. Being alone, shunned now from the group I grew up with, has me silently nibbling my sandwich as it catches my tears.

  I’m picked last for group projects; gym class has me the odd-man-out. The teachers don’t say anything; I’m not sure they even notice the shift in status. The humans around us just think I’m fighting with my group of friends.

  No one is physically violent with me. They just treat me as if I don’t exist. Like I have no feelings. The worst are the pack gatherings. Most of the time I just refuse to go, holing up inside my room, a grey cloud following me wherever I go.

  I have to watch as he makes a plate for himself and her. Always he’s providing her with food for the pack to see. As the last to eat, only the unwanted items are left for me. Usually, I go without. Sitting at the back by myself, unable to even eat with my own family, I’m in my own private purgatory that I endure quietly without complaint. Sometimes, on very rare occasions, I can feel his eyes on me. But, just as fast as I feel them, they’re gone. I try not to look at him anymore for fear he will be able to feel my gaze as well.

  Two years I endure this. It’s a lonely, miserable life. It’s funny how you grow and mature and the body people see looks healthy and young, except for me it’s just a shell covering my emptiness.

  I’ve applied for a transfer out of my pack, and the Alpha has granted my wishes, with the understanding that I am to come back when needed. My marks have been above average, and I’ve been accepted to apprentice as a midwife underneath the guidance of a much-esteemed female. The healer helped me with my application, I was interviewed, and my grades were looked at. My commitment level was assessed; they just don’t want anyone who will drop their training once they meet their mate. She was made aware of my situation, accepting me instantly. A sad smile tugged at her eyes as she welcomed me into her home with a hug.

  For the first time in two years, I have a smile that reaches my eyes with what my future might be.

  Chapter 2

  Coming Home

  Insomnia is a great company to grief. Like two old friends unable to part, they mingle with each other, never letting the other go completely.

  “Couldn’t sleep.” My mentor is sitting by the fireplace that holds no fire, with a cup of tea in her hand, looking at me with caring eyes.

  “No, I couldn’t sleep. Big day today.” I can’t even disguise my sadness.

  “Are you all packed up? Do you have everything?” Her voice cracks as well. Mentor and student at first, but once my training was completed, we became good friends.

  “Rya, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.” I wish I could believe that.

  “It’s going to be okay.” I say it out loud over and over again, trying to fool myself.

  “I just need to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I appreciate all your teaching, but especially your kindness when I needed it the most.” Standing up, she walks toward me, opening up her arms so I am pressed against her ample chest, cheeks rubbing together.

  “You’re going to be great, my best student I have ever had the privilege to teach. You’re a beautiful female inside and out. Remember that.” She wipes away my tears as I try to control my breathing like she taught me.

  “I need to go. It’s a long drive. Thank you again.” Walking out of the house we shared for the last four years is so hard. This has been my fantasy land, protecting me from a life I am not forced to go back to.

  In the rearview mirror, I see her waving in the open doorway. I give a little wave as I pull out. I start to drive toward what gives me my nightmares at night.

  Pulling up to the pack house, I need to sit in the car to gather my wits. I need to check in, get the keys to my new home. The Luna felt it’s better if I just take over the old midwife’s house, seeing as it’s empty now.

  The day the phone rang was like any other day for me, a birth in the early morning hours that went well for both mother and pup. I was just coming out of the shower when I picked up the phone. It was the Alpha. I almost dropped the phone.

  You’re needed back here. That’s all he said to me before the Luna took over the conversation, telling me the midwife has passed back to the moon. How I need to come home. I knew this was inevitable. I just thought I would have more time. I haven’t seen my father in four years. My mother and sisters have visited once, but there was an awkwardness to us that never existed before. My mother wanted to visit me more, but I just pretended that I was too busy, that I had lots of work, that it was impossible for me to get away.

  As soon as I open the door, his scent hits me hard, so hard that I need to go back inside my car and close the door. I hold the steering wheel, gripping it so tightly my knuckles are white. I wasn’t prepared for it. I haven’t even seen him yet, and I’m reduced to immobility. I stay like this for a few minutes, or ten, I’m not sure. I try to give myself a talking to, scolding my own reactions to something that is so natural like breathing.

  How do you tell yourself not to breathe?

  Unclenching one hand, then the other, I wipe sweaty palms on my shorts. The car is starting to heat up with the sun’s hot rays beating down on the metal. Big breath in, I open the door, making my shaky legs take me toward the front door. I knock, waiting for it to open. The Luna greets me with a smile on her face. I smile a decaying smile back.

  “Look at you, Rya.” She lets her eyes roll over my body. “You have grown into a beautiful female.” She presses her cheek against mine in welcoming. I’m not the small juvenile I once was. I’m a full-grown female wolf.

  “Your eyes, Rya, stunning.” Glacier blue, my greatest asset as I was told once. Almost the color of a blue moon that only comes around every few years.

  “Thank you.” His scent has tentacles that wrap around my body, seducing me with something that I sometimes dream about. It’s extremely hard to concentrate on anything she tells me. Her mouth is moving, smiling. I just nod my head, pretending she holds my eyes.

  She walks me inside slightly; her office is the first door to the right. I sit in the chair across from her, and she pushes an envelope toward me.

  “Keys. One set is to the house, and the second set is to the clinic. You’ll be working alongside the doctor until he feels you’re okay to be on your own.” She has her hands folded on top of her desk.

  “Rya, I’m sorry it has to be this way.” I look into her eyes; she appears sad, but looking around her office, I see pictures of her immediate family, all smiles for the camera. She’s not sorry. I can’t look at him for too long. My eyes will start to water.

  “Thank you, Luna Catherine, for the opportunity to serve the pack.” I keep it extremely formal, back straight in my chair, hands on my lap, head bowed in submission.

  The
office door opens. “Cathy, look at these. Aren’t they so cute?” Kennedy, by the first glimpse of her…the full-grown female, standing in the open doorway, her reddish hair with glints of copper and rust from the sun shining on her through the open blinds. Her freckles are just a shade darker than her suntanned skin. Eyes are brown, not a good feature. Her neck holds the red angry marks of a male who claims a female who isn’t his. That, at least, gives me some satisfaction…that she cannot hold his mark no matter how much he tries. The moon doesn’t allow impostors to hold claims from another. It must cause her pain to have his mark, the moon’s punishment. Looking away at my feet, I keep my head bowed, not saying a word.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you had company, Cathy.” Lie one. Clasping my hands more firmly together, I try to keep the fur that wants to raise along the ridge of my spine down.

  “Rya?” The way she says my name, it’s like she’s surprised to see me. Lie two. She had to have known I was coming today.

  “Hello, Kennedy.” I’ve practiced the voice in front of the mirror so many times, it comes out naturally, devoid of any emotion. It’s held flat in the air. I don’t make eye contact; it’s better for me this way. I keep my head bowed down to the future Luna of the pack in a show of respect that is expected of me.

  “Hello, Rya.” Her voice cannot hold her emotions in. It’s slightly shaky, like the way my body feels at the moment. She smells just like him. Bile wants to rise up. I force it down.

  Standing, I bow slightly to the both of them.

  “Thank you, Luna Catherine; I should be going.” Taking the envelope from the table, I walk out, not breathing in until I’m outside.

  The alpha is leaning on the driver’s side door, waiting for me. I don’t focus on what’s in front of me; the sensation of being watched has the hair on the back of my neck raising. Heat, hot burning sensual fire from the spot that holds his attention, my back blazing with warmth…his sight moving down my back, over my ass, caressing my legs, back up my body…until I feel it no more. It reminds me of having a suntan, my skin keeping all the warmth I felt from his eyes.