Box Set #3: The Serenity Deception: [The 4 book 3rd Adventure of Egg and the Hameggattic Sisterhood]

by Robert Iannone

  “A clown is a comedian, usually found in a circus. They wear what they consider funny costumes and paint their faces with exaggerated makeup. They’re supposed to make little kids laugh.”

  Soo shook her head in disgust. “Once again I ask, are all you earthlings crazy? Look at that mug. It doesn’t make me want to laugh. It makes me want to slither away, find a very deep ocean and dive to the bottom.”

  “Syl, you explained what it’s supposed to be, but not its significance. The inscription is obviously a message for us . . . actually more of a warning. So why the clown?”

  “Spirit, I think only Egg can answer that.” The five girls turned to their leader. “Well?”

  “Aclownmademecry,” mumbled Flying Girl as she stared at her feet.

  “What?”

  “I said a clown made me cry.”

  “And?”

  “And I was so scared I threw up.”

  “And?”

  “And when he picked me up, I wet myself.”

  The other girls tried not to giggle . . . but not very hard.

  “How old were you when this horrific incident happened?” asked her best friend with a big clown-like grin.

  “The answer to that is strictly on a need to know basis. And, you don’t.”

  “So what do we do . . . just continue down this red brick road?” asked Bree.

  “Supposed to be yellow.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “It should be a yellow brick road.”

  “Why?”

  Egg explained, “It’s from that story I told you about - the Wizard of Oz . . . they go down the yellow brick road and it leads them to Emerald City.”

  “Who are they?”

  “Dorothy, the scarecrow, the lion and the tin man.”

  “Don’t forget Toto,” reminded her friend.

  “Oh yeah . . . and Toto, too.”

  “So we’re reliving an earth story. And that cat with the hat . . . she’s part of it?” asked Bl’azzz.

  “Dorothy is the main character . . . but she’s a young girl not a cat.”

  “Then I don’t get it. Why a J’azzz like creature with a weird toothy smile?”

  Sylvia suggested, “The toothy smile – that was actually a strangely disturbing variation of the Cheshire Cat. Before you ask, that’s a character from another earth story called Alice in Wonderland. That Cat would keep appearing and give Alice advice or information. Kind of like our dearest J’azzz-min.”

  “What sort of advice?” asked Bree.

  Very surprisingly, Egg quoted from the book she hadn’t read in more than five years. “Lots. Once, Alice asks ‘Have I gone mad’ because the place she’s in is as weird as this dream. The cat says, ‘I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

  “Um . . . Egg.”

  “Yeah.”

  “That was very good.”

  “Thanks, Syl.”

  “But you got it backwards.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The cat asks Alice if he’s mad. It’s Alice who says yes.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “GOOD GRIEF,” bellowed the serpent. “WHO CARES?"

  In unison, the two girls said “Sorry.”

  They fell silent as they considered their predicament. It was Bree who finally suggested, “Since we seem to be reliving at least two of your childhood stories, can you give the rest of us a quick summary of what happens. It might help us respond to the strange variations in this dream.”

  “Good idea. Syl . . . tell them.”

  “Okay. This is the really simple version. In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy finds herself in a place called . . . well, Oz. She kind of inherits a pair of ruby slippers from a witch she accidently kills . . . don’t ask. The witch’s sister wants them and will try anything to get them . . . that includes flying monkeys. Again, don’t ask. Meanwhile, Dorothy has to get to Emerald City to find the Wizard because he’s the only one that can get her home again. She meets a scarecrow – that’s just clothes stuffed with hay in the shape of person. He wants to go meet the Wizard to get some brains. Then they meet a tin man – think mechanical robot – who wants a heart. So he joins them. And then they meet a cowardly lion – lions are supposed to be ferocious – who wants courage. So the four of them travel down the yellow brick road, fighting off the Wicked Witch and finally reaching the city.”

  “Then?” asked Soo.

  “Then the Wizard turns out to be no wizard at all. But, he’s able to help everyone but Dorothy.”

  “What happens to her?”

  “She wakes up in her own bed . . . because, get ready for it . . . it’s only a dream.”

  There was a collective ‘Ahhh’ from the other girls.

  “What about the other story . . . Alice in Underland?”

  “Wonderland. Basically, she goes back to Wonderland – a place she found by accident when she fell down a rabbit hole - to help defeat the evil Red Queen of Hearts.”

  “And . . .?”

  “And that’s pretty much it; you know – bad guys trying to hurt the good ones.”

  “So what do we get when we mix the two stories?” asked Soo.

  “I guess we get the Wizard of Wonderland.”

  “And how would that end?” asked Spirit.

  “Maybe the Wizard will help us defeat the evil Red Queen.”

  “Or maybe it’s the other way around” suggested Egg.

  “More likely it’s something we would never expect,” said Bree.

  *****

  “Okay, let me try Tee’ka one more time before we continue. Maybe we’ll get lucky and she was able to reset herself,” and she called the girl’s name.

  “Yes, Egg?”

  “We really would like to end this dream.”

  “This simulation must run its course.”

  “Why?”

  The image of their hostess flickered. Then she did something unusual. She raised her wand hand and, like a band conductor, waved it at Egg with each word she said. “I . . . have . . . been . . . restricted . . . from . . . interfering. As . . . to . . . the . . . safety . . . protocols . . . I . . . remind . . . you . . . what . . . the . . . Myst Tree . . . once . . . said.” She stopped waving the wand and finished with “enjoy your simulation” and winked out.

  Egg looked at her friends. “What did she say?”

  Bree responded first. “Her wand . . . the tip wasn’t red.”

  “That’s why she was waving it at your face,” added Sylvia. “To make sure you saw it. She’s letting you know that she’s reset herself but apparently still not able to help us.”

  “What was the Myst Tree reference?” asked Spirit.

  Egg wasn’t sure since she had lots of conversations with the Tree. However, Bl’azzz recalled one in particular. “Egg-o, when we were at Se’rene after the Seven Lands, you remembered something the Tree had told you . . . ‘all that was will be again’.

  “How could I forget . . . he was telling us if we were successful, he would restore everything to the way it was.”

  Sylvia suggested, “That’s probably what Tee’ka was telling us. She’s trying to restore the protocols. But she almost certainly has to figure a way to do it so that the big cheese doesn’t find out.”

  “Well, that’s something. So, we have no choice but to follow the yellow brick road.”

  “Egg, it’s red remember?”

  “Soo, I only know the lyrics to the yellow one . . . so humor me.”

  “What lyrics?”

  “We're off to see the Wizard, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Something, something, something, something . . . Because of the wonderful things he does.”

  “That was awful.”

  “Syl, you know the words, sing it for us.”

  She was about to sing . . . then stopped. She stared off into the black distance, obviously deep in thought.

  “What’s wrong?” asked her friend.


  “Egg, I think it’s the wrong song.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I think we should be singing the one the Scarecrow sang . . . ‘If I only had a brain’.”

  “That’s a little insulting.”

  “No, no, no. There’s one verse that goes like . . . um . . . ‘I'd unravel any riddle, For any individ'le, In trouble or in pain.”

  “What’s an individ’le?” asked Bl’azzz.

  “The word is individual but sometimes they change them to make things rhyme better. Forget it, it’s not important.”

  “Sylvia, you may be right,” agreed BreeZee. “Unravel a riddle for someone in trouble or in pain . . . that might just be the key to this whole thing.”

  “That doesn’t sound like it’s referring to the Empre . . . I mean the big cheese,” observed Spirit.

  “Then who?” asked Egg. “We haven’t met anyone else.”

  No one had any idea.

  “Well, let’s just keep walking. There are bound to be clues . . . all we have to do is find them.”

  So the six young women walked down the blood red path, keeping alert for danger. Bl’azzz set a brisk pace and no one complained. They were still in a graveyard and it was beginning to get on everyone’s nerve.

  About a half mile later, they came to a fork in the road . . .

  . . . with no signs suggesting which was the right way to go.

  “Oh great. Now what?”

  And, as if on cue, they heard a loud “GRRRRRRR” and jumped about two feet.

  “What the heck was that?”

  “Don’t know, don’t care to find out,” answered Soo.

  “GRRRRRRR”.

  And out from behind some trees stepped a . . . a. . . creature that appeared to be a cross between a lion and a dragon. Best guess – it was supposed to be the famous cowardly lion who went looking for courage, but this one was just weird.

  “GRRRRRR,” the creature repeated. This time the girls just stared because whatever it was supposed to be, it had the face of Aeri’elle.

  “Big bird, is that you?”

  “Of course it’s me.”

  “What happened? Are you alright?”

  “Why shouldn’t I be?”

  “Well, for one thing, you’re a . . . a . . . what are you?”

  “What I’ve always been – an honest and courageous lion.”

  “I have no idea what that means.”

  “It means . . .,” said another voice, “that she’s a prevaricator, a fibber, a teller of untruths.”

  The girls turned around and there was . . . another one standing in the middle of the other fork.

  “Oh my gosh. Aeri’elle?”

  “None other.”

  “What the heck is going on?”

  “Egg, this is your dream . . . I haven’t a clue. What’s important is that you should never listen to her (and she pointed at the other Aeri’elle). She always lies. I, on the other hand, always tell the truth.”

  “Liar,” said her twin. “I always tell the truth.”

  “No, you don’t. I do.”

  “Uh-uh. I do.”

  “Liar.”

  “You’re the liar.”

  “Am not.”

  “Am, too.”

  “Oh my gosh . . . stop, already.”

  “Egg, maybe they’re here to point us in the right direction,” whispered Bree.

  “That would be too easy. Anyway, let’s hope you’re right. Aeri’elle . . .”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes?”

  “She was talking to me.”

  “No way. She was talking to me.”

  “Would you two stop? Just tell us, which way is Emerald City? Which path do we choose?”

  Naturally, each Aeri’elle pointed in a different direction.

  “Gee, thanks. That was helpful.”

  “Egg, I got this,” said her friend. “Aeri’elle, you on the left – which way would your twin tell us to go?”

  “She would tell you to go that way,” and she pointed to the right where the other ‘her’ was standing.

  “Okay. You on the right, same question, which way would your twin tell us to go.”

  “This way, of course,” pointing to the path she was standing on (the one on the right).

  “Thank you. Egg, we go that way,” and she pointed to the path on the left.

  “Really? Why?”

  "It’s kind of obvious. The liar will point in the opposite direction than the one we should take since she always lies. The one that tells the truth, knowing her sister only lies, would point in the wrong direction too since that’s what the lying sister would do. So, we should take the road that the sisters didn’t point too . . . that one on the left.”

  Egg’s mouth dropped open. Soo glanced at Bl’azzz who stared at Sylvia in awe. Spirit’s eyes glowed red and Bree smiled to acknowledge her brilliant sister.

  “Oh my gosh . . . my Feminion is back in all her glory. Nice going, you incredibly intelligent intellectual.”

  “Ditto on that,” added Soo.

  “That was awesome, Syl. Now, what about our twin sisters?” asked Bree. “What should we do with them?”

  But as the six girls looked at the lions they did what you would expect them to do . . . they slowly faded away into nothingness.

  “Well, there’s your answer.”

  “I hope that with the safety protocols off, nothing has happened to Aeri’elle in real life,” said Spirit.

  That put a damper on things until Egg said, “I’m not getting any goose bumps. I think she’s okay.”

  Unfortunately, that wasn’t quite true though she had no way to know. Back in the real world, Aeri’elle also melted away to nothing only to be replaced by a replica – one that was much improved over the one of Spirit.

  The real dragon rematerialized in a pod of some sort. She was still in a sleep state so had no idea what was happening to her.

  Jynx, who was in the living room diligently watching the doors to the bedrooms, also had no idea that the sisters she had promised to protect were being transported away . . . trapped, helpless and beyond the reach of Flying Girl.

  “Let’s get going,” implored Bl’azzz, “before another one of us turns into something bizarre.”

  “I wonder how it will happen?” said Bree.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, Aeri’elle had flown off to scout the land and when we find her she’s been turned into twin lions. So, do we have to be out of sight of the others to get transformed into a storybook character? Or can it happen while everyone is looking?”

  “I can’t answer that. But just to be safe, don’t anyone go off by yourself. Stay together” instructed Egg.

  “Yeah, that’s what I had planned to do, slither off into the dark just for giggles.”

  “Don’t you dare,” said her friend missing the sarcasm. “Wherever you go, I go.”

  “Good grief.”

  Chapter 10 – The Sand Witch

  As they virtually trotted down the path, Spirit asked Egg, “Do you think that the characters we turn into have something to do with your subconscious?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Aeri’elle turned into the cowardly lion . . . why that character? Why not the mechanical man or the straw one?”

  “Well, I certainly don’t think big bird is cowardly,” the other girl answered, obviously upset with the question. “Heck, you should have seen her save me from the monster AyBee. That took a lot of courage.”

  Sylvia could sense her friend’s irritation. “Egg, Spirit wasn’t implying any such thing.”

  “Of course, I wasn’t.”

  “Sorry. I guess I’m a little on edge.” Truth be told, they all were.

  “But my question still stands.”

  “Did you know that a group of lions is called a pride? And we all know that no one is more proud than Aeri’elle. Maybe that’s how the computer made the connection,” offered Syl.

&nb
sp; “As good an explanation as any.”

  “Maybe it’s just random and has nothing to do with me.”

  “Also a good explanation.”

  They continued on in silence well aware that time was against them. Sooner or later, if Dorothy was right, another one of them was going to trans-configurate.

  Maybe fifteen minutes later, they rounded a turn and came face to face with a very thick blanket of fog. Out of caution and fear, they stopped before they entered.

  “I don’t like this,” exclaimed Egg. “Look at my arms . . .,” and she held them out for the others to inspect. They were covered in goose bumps.

  When it’s dark and you’re in a dangerous situation and nothing looks familiar, your imagination can run wild. But it’s just that . . . a figment of your mind.

  Unfortunately, this was a surreal dream and disturbing images from books or movies that lurk in our subconscious can come to life in a Fair’Giggle simulation.

  And the gray fog began to swirl.

  And the swirl took on a shape.

  And that shape was a face . . .

  As the image opened its enormous mouth, the red brick road became visible . . . and for all the world looked like a mouth full of blood. The girls did what any sane and sensible person would do . . . they screamed at the top of their lungs (though for Spirit it was a mental shout).

  Upon hearing the girls shriek, the giant face had the strangest reaction – its eyes flew wide and it wailed, “Oh my gosh, what’s wrong? It’s not that the crazy Queen? Run, run.”

  The six sisters stopped screaming and just stared in disbelief. If a monster face can be frightened . . . maybe he’s not really a monster at all. Maybe he’s just a big face.

  Egg forced herself to step forward and take charge. “No. No Queen. Just us.”

  “Then why did you yell? You scared the heck out of me.” If giant fog faces could cry, this one would definitely do it.

  The girls relaxed and began to smile . . . both at their own foolishness and at the monster that wasn’t a monster.

  “Sorry about that. We weren’t expecting . . . um . . . you. You kind of startled us.”