Bad Love

by Jaci J

  “Hey now,” I grumble. “It’s not like I ask for it.” It’s not like I enjoy the drama of dating either. I’m a romantic at heart. I love the idea of love. I’ve just been unlucky in it since birth.

  “Don’t you, though?” Niko fires back, his eyes dark, looking at me harshly.

  I could slap him. One moment he’s okay, almost sweet, and the next he’s a fucking asshole. “Don’t start with your I attract assholes because I don’t make them try hard enough speech. It was kinda sweet the first time, but now it’s just insulting,” I mutter, walking around the bar and behind it, in search of something stronger than beer.

  I find what I’m looking for in the form of rum.

  Niko

  I WATCH HER UNSCREW the cap of a bottle of rum and throw back a mouthful. Her eyes water, and her face screws up in disgust.

  “Go well with your tacos?” I enjoy the deep frown and middle finger she gives me.

  “Perfectly,” she grumbles, taking another pull.

  I watch her shiver and wipe at her lips.

  She’s mad at me, and that’s fine. But I can fucking picture it in my head, her body tossed out of a goddamn car on the side of some road, or her being assaulted by some creep she met on a dating app. And that shit isn’t okay. It isn’t right. Not every guy is that guy, but there’s a lot of those kinds out there, watching and waiting for a trusting girl like Shay to walk into their world, and I’ll be damned if something happens to her if I have anything to do about it.

  “You’re a dick.”

  “You told me that the first time you met me.”

  “Not much has changed. My opinion of you is still the same.”

  “Listen, not trying to be a dick, just telling you shit you should know.”

  “Well, since you seem to know everything, then next time I have a date, you can be there to teach me.”

  That’d be the worst fucking idea. I’d end up in prison for first degree murder for tearing the head off her date.

  “Yeah. Next time,” I growl, sarcastic and frustrated, watching her walk away.

  There won’t be a next time if I have a say.

  I don’t even know why I give a shit, but here I am, giving a shit anyway.

  “YOU DONE?”

  She frowns up at me, her eyes glassy and hooded.

  Shay’s drunk. She’s polished off damn near half a bottle.

  Sitting on the floor, her legs out in front of her, and a giant bowl of M&Ms in her lap, she picks up a green one and pops it into her mouth and says, “Nope.”

  “Baby, not a chance in hell I’m letting you drink another damn drop.”

  “I can do whatever I want.” She sounds like a bratty fucking teenager.

  Chuckling, I shake my head. “No, you can’t, not while you’re with me. I’m in charge, and I’m not spending the night with you in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.”

  “Whatever,” she slurs. “You know it’s bullshit I’m not married yet?”

  “Yeah? Why’s that?”

  “I’m pushing thirty, and I’ve never even had a serious relationship.”

  “Might be because you’re a fucking brat.”

  She tosses a handful of candy at me. “Fuck you.”

  Grabbing for the bottle, I snatch it away from her. I wasn’t bullshitting. I’m not spending any time with her in the hospital, or in the bathroom holding her hair. “No more.”

  “I don’t have a man, Niko. The least you can do is let me drink my sorrows.”

  “You got a man, baby.”

  She looks around dramatically. “Who?”

  “You got me.”

  She rolls her eyes. “That’s funny.”

  “Yet here the fuck I am, taking care of you.”

  “No one asked you to.”

  Jesus. “No shit, but I chose to.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you’re crazy, baby. You can’t be trusted on your own.”

  Shay flips me the bird, then falls onto her back, staring up at me. “I’m drunk,” she mutters, eyes closed.

  Yeah, she’s beyond drunk. She’s lucky as fuck I’m not as big of an asshole as she thinks I am. She’s so goddamn gone, I could do any fucking thing to her.

  Reaching down, I grab both her hands and pull her back up and onto her feet. She sways, her body falling into mine. Leaning down, I put my shoulder to her stomach and lift her up, tossing her over my shoulder. “This how you are on all your dates?” I ask, walking out of the bar and toward the stairs, to my place upstairs.

  “This isn’t a date.”

  “Goddamn right it’s not. If this was a date, you’d be naked and in my bed, not drunk and over my shoulder.”

  “Your dates don’t have to be drunk to be with you?” she giggles, smacking my back.

  “Fucking brat.”

  Walking through my door, I shut it behind me and lock it.

  She’s losing steam, thank fuck. In my room, I flip her off my back and onto my bed. She smiles up at me and says, “You’re one of the good assholes.”

  She starts fucking with my comforter, pulling it over her.

  Standing at the foot of my bed, Shay in my sheets, I try to keep my head level and my thoughts right, but it’s not easy. Especially when she says, “Lay down with me.”

  “Shay, not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “Please?”

  I can’t tell her no.

  I sleep like the dead, like it’s the first good night’s sleep I’ve gotten in years, with Shay’s head on my chest and her body against mine.

  I’m fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

  14

  Shay

  Rolling over, hiding from the bright light coming in from the window, I wiggle farther under the pillow and blanket.

  Why it is so damn bright?

  Why do I feel like I got hit by a truck?

  I feel like hell.

  “Ugh,” I moan, cracking an eye open and rolling my head to the side, confused. But it only takes a moment to realize where I am, and I about shit my pants when it all comes back to me.

  Niko.

  I’m in Niko’s apartment, in Niko’s bed, and lying next to me is Niko. Shirtless and on his back, a tattooed arm thrown behind his head, and the other over his stomach, he looks comfortable and casual, like this is a normal occurrence.

  I stare at him a minute, letting my eyes wander over his chest and stomach. Covered in tattoos, the man is sexy.

  “You’re awake,” Niko says, voice hoarse and rough with sleep.

  “You’re awake,” I counter, surprised. His eyes are closed, his face still peaceful, like he’s sleeping.

  Niko pulls the arm out from behind his head and throws it out to the side. Is he stretching? Is it an open invitation? Stunned, I look at him, an eyebrow raised.

  “Go back to sleep.”

  “But I’m awake.”

  “I know, but I want to sleep, and I want you in here while I sleep, so get the fuck over here and go back to sleep.”

  Blinking slowly, I scoot a little closer to him, dying to touch him, but scared shitless to do so.

  “C’mere, Shay,” he growls, grabbing my arm and hauling me the four feet between us into his body. “Now snuggle into me and go back to sleep.”

  I can’t help the laugh that bubbles up. “Snuggle?”

  “Don’t act like you don’t know what the fuck I’m talkin’ about.”

  Oh, I know. I just never expected to hear it come out of his mouth. “Is this a platonic sort of snuggling?” I lay my head on his arm, my cheek on the side of his chest.

  He smells good, like soap and cologne.

  “I don’t know, Shay, you tell me.”

  The words get stuck in my throat, and the only sound the manages to get by is a breathy, “Dunno.”

  Leaning up and looking down his chest and stomach, Niko lifts the blanket and peeks under the comforter. “We could change that real quick if you want. Roll on your side, pull your panties down, and this ca
n go from platonic to personal real goddamn quick.”

  I blush and I hate it. His words make me squirm and my panties wet. My heart picks up its pace and my skin pebbles. I hate how easily Niko turns me on. “Real nice, Niko,” I mutter, hiding my embarrassment.

  “You asked. Go back to sleep, baby. I’m still fucking tired.”

  I yawn, nodding. “Okay.”

  Niko is warm, his body solid and hard, but comfortable. It’s scary how comfortable he is, how right this feels, when I hardly know him and hate him half the time.

  Snuggling down deeper, he curls his arm around me, grabbing my shoulder. “Will you sit the fuck still?”

  “I’m snuggling.” Like he told me to do.

  “You’re floppin’ around.”

  “You told me to snuggle, so that’s what I’m doin’.”

  “You’re keepin’ me awake.” Squeezing my shoulder, his fingers dig into my skin. “Go to sleep.”

  “Sorry.”

  I settle, and Niko starts to drift when my phone picks that exact moment to ding, loud and proud, shattering the peaceful silence.

  “What the fuck...” Rolling into and over me, he reaches for my phone on his nightstand.

  “What are you doin’?” I wheeze, crushed under his chest as he begins reading the text.

  “Liam wants to know if he can see you again,” he growls.

  Shit.

  NO! comes to mind. Maybe even a big ol’ HELL NO!

  “Can I have my phone to answer him?” I ask, holding my hand out.

  Niko snorts. “I can’t see you again. I’m too busy fucking my hot ass boss,” he dictates to me as he types it.

  Smacking a hand around, I reach for my phone, trying to wrestle it away. Niko just lifts his arm, holding it higher, away from me. “Seriously, Niko, don’t text him that.”

  “Already did. Who gives a fuck what that asshole thinks?”

  “But I’m not fucking you.”

  “Like I said, you pull those panties to the side and we could be.” He looks down at my chest and back at me, trouble dancing in his eyes.

  My heart stops for a moment, because it hits me out of nowhere. I want that. I want him to fuck me. I want him to so bad.

  I slept in my dress, the dress that has currently ridden up my body and around my waist, exposing my lacy white boy shorts to the world, and Niko.

  I desperately want to be embarrassed, or at the very least shy, but at this moment, I’m so fucking turned on, it’s painful. Niko’s weight on me. His strong arm around my body. The look in his eyes.

  My panties are soaked.

  “You’re crude,” I whisper, fighting the soft pitch of my voice, the one that gives me away.

  “You’re pretty close to being naked in my bed, Shay,” he counters. “We’re past crude.”

  Swallowing, I look into his eyes, and I swear to God, the look he’s giving me is enough to get a girl pregnant.

  There’s a moment, a heated moment between us. Sparks. Embers. Flames.

  “Niko...” I hesitate, not sure what to say, or if I really want to say anything at all. A big part of me wants this, and a little, very small piece of me, knows it’s a terrible idea.

  My phone lands at my feet, somewhere at the end of the bed in the mess of sheets and comforter, and Niko’s hand slides between my thighs, pushing my legs apart.

  He’s frantic.

  I’m desperate.

  “Tell me to stop,” Niko demands, his fingers teasing the edge of my panties, brushing against my skin.

  Shaking my head, I fight for my words. “I can’t.”

  I want this.

  Niko growls, his fingers pushing my panties to the side and sliding between my wet folds. One finger at first, followed by a second.

  Gasping, my back comes off the bed as Niko’s lips meet mine.

  He doesn’t kiss me, he devours me, and I let him. I let him eat me alive and swallow me whole.

  Niko

  I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE fuck I’m doing or how the hell we got here, but here we fucking are, and there’s no other place on this goddamn planet I’d rather be.

  Dress around her hips, panties tangled around one ankle, I suck on her clit. My knees on the floor on the side of my bed, her ass at the edge, I eat her like I’m starving. Three fingers deep in her tight cunt, I swear to Christ, I could come just tasting her pussy.

  Shay’s body trembles, damn near climbing up the bed when I flick my tongue softly against her wet flesh. “Jesus, Niko,” she moans, grabbing my hair, fingers digging into my scalp.

  This wasn’t how shit was supposed to go when I put her ass to bed last night after one too many shots. I wasn’t going to fuck her. I wanted to, but I wasn’t going to. I was going to be a nice guy, but fuck, she looks too good, and it’s been a long goddamn time.

  I work her up, eating her pussy until she’s on the verge, and then stop.

  “I need to come,” she groans, sliding a hand down her stomach and to her cunt, touching herself. I watch her fingers circle her wet clit and groan.

  I’m drawing this shit out. I’ve waited too damn long for this.

  “Not fuckin’ happening.” I grab her hand, pinning it by her head.

  “Niko,” she growls, begging me with her eyes. “Please.”

  “You’re sexy when you’re beggin’,” I laugh, kissing her lips softly, enjoying the fuck out of the way she melts when she kisses me back.

  Shay jerks, pulling her hand free, and reaches between us, grabbing my stiff cock through my boxer briefs. “Fuck me.”

  “You’re a demanding little thing,” I murmur, pulling her dress the rest of the way up her body and over her head, exposing miles of soft, smooth skin.

  Shay isn’t one of those tiny bitches, all bony hips and a flat ass. She’s got shape. Definition. Roundness. Body. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

  She starts tugging on my briefs with single-fucking-minded determination. The woman knows what she wants, and I want her to have it. “Off,” she insists.

  Chuckling, I help her out, pulling them off and letting my dick spring free. The bastard is hard and hungry.

  Sucking in a breath, her eyes get heavy and soft. “This is such a bad idea,” she tells me, looking between our us.

  “But here we are.” And there’s not a chance in hell we’re not finishing this. I need her too goddamn much right now to just walk away.

  On her back, legs wrapped around my hips, I slide into her, slowly, savoring that shit. There’s nothing like the first fucking time you get a piece of someone you want this bad, and with Shay? I want all the fucking pieces. Every inch.

  Nails digging into my biceps, her hips meet mine, needing more.

  “Fuck,” I groan, losing myself in the way she feels, the way she smells. The sounds she makes.

  I still for a second, enjoying the feel of being balls deep inside her, before I pull out slowly, chuckling when she digs her nails into my ass in protest.

  “You want me deep, Shay?” I kiss her neck, just below her ear. “You want me pound into your tight little cunt?”

  Sucking in a breath, she nods.

  The tip of my cock is teasing at her entrance, begging to slide in, but I hold back.

  “Tell me what you want,” I demand, running my cock between her pussy lips.

  “Fuck me,” she begs, bringing her hips up.

  I kiss her softly, pulling all the way out. “Need more words than that.”

  Biting down on my lip, Shay smirks and says, “I want your big dick moving inside of me, fucking me, so I can come on—”

  Fisting my cock, I shove it in her wet cunt before she can finish, over and over.

  “Shit. Shit. Shit,” she pants when I go deep and hard, damn near coming myself when her walls squeeze around me like a fucking vise. She’s trying to fucking kill me.

  Stroke after stroke.

  Deeper and deeper.

  Harder and faster.

  Shay tenses, nails raking down my back. “Oh sh
it,” she moans, eyes rolling to the back of her head. “I gonna come,” she whispers, her lips near my ear.

  “Not yet,” I growl, lost in her, and ready to be found.

  Pulling back, I grab her legs and push them together, resting them on my chest. Her cunt gets tighter, if that’s even possible. Legs in the air, I fuck her hard, watching her tits bounce with each thrust.

  “Niko!” she cries out, her hand fisting in my sheets.

  I feel her come around my cock.

  “God dammit, Shay.” I continue to pound into her until I feel my own release. As much as I don’t want to, I pull out, pump my dick in my fist and come on her stomach. I come so goddamn hard, I see stars.

  “Jesus, baby.”

  Eyes closed, she laughs, breathy and soft, agreeing with whatever the hell it is I was trying to say. “I know, I know.”

  That was something I’ve never experienced before, and it scares the shit out of me.

  15

  Shay

  “I had sex with Niko,” I whisper into the phone, my hand cupping my mouth and the phone.

  Just saying it out loud makes different body parts clench in a good and bad way.

  I had sex with Niko. I let Niko fuck me.

  Holy shit.

  I’m an idiot.

  “What?” Lucy shrieks. “Oh my God!”

  Pulling the phone away from my ear, I shush her as I look around, worried that Niko will hear us.

  I’m sitting in the small window seat in Niko’s living room, as far away from his bedroom as I can get without going outside. Watching out the window, I’m fascinated with the rain as it runs down the window.

  The weather has taken a turn.

  Niko’s place is nice. A small apartment on the third floor above Custom and the bar. It overlooks the bay, docks, and bridge. It’s well-worn but loved, with its scuffed hardwoods and chipped brick walls. Comfortably homey.

  “Was it a mistake?” I ask her, doubting my romp in the sheets with Niko. As much as I enjoyed it, and I fucking enjoyed it, I know it was a bad idea.

  I’ve had sex on the first date. I’ve had sex without even having a first date. I’ve waited weeks and months. I’ve had boyfriends and fuck buddies. But this? This feels different on a whole other level.