Bad Love

by Jaci J

  She honest to God looks shook. I’ve done nothing to warrant her incredulous idea of us getting back together, so I am literally beside myself on how else to make her understand that shit.

  “Fuck you,” she huffs, shoving past me and walking back toward the bar.

  “If I see you around again, whether it be the bar, Custom, or around me and mine, we’re gonna have issues. I can promise you that.” And I mean that shit.

  Mikayla doesn’t say anything before she walks away, and I thank fuck for that, because I can’t be held accountable for losing my shit on her again.

  Running my hands through my hair, I stew a second, wondering how the fuck I’m going to fix this.

  I don’t know what I’m going to do or say to convince Shay not to kick my ass to the curb, but I can’t let her go. I won’t let her go, not without a fight.

  31

  Shay

  I heard everything Niko said. Everything. And I’m conflicted. So fucking conflicted. Even after hearing that he trusts me, he needs me, and most of all, that he wants me.

  I can’t shake the worry. The nerves. The uncertainty.

  This isn’t his fault, I know this. I’m so stuck in my own shit of horrible relationships, I can’t force myself to believe that maybe, just maybe, he would truly want me for me.

  In my apartment, sitting on my couch in full makeup and my dress, I nurse a bottle of wine.

  I feel stupid and I don’t even know why. Stupid for falling in love? Stupid for falling in love again? Or stupid for falling in love with Niko when he told me wasn’t looking for anything more than fun.

  Knock! Knock! “Shay!” Niko shouts, banging on my door.

  I jump, a small yelp falling from my lips.

  I don’t say anything. I don’t get up, and I don’t answer the door.

  “Baby!” he growls, his fist hitting my door again, this time louder and harder. “Open the goddamn door.”

  Tears prick my eyes, and I don’t even know why. Maybe I’m sad because I can’t bring myself to believe and trust his words. Maybe I’m sad because I do.

  “Open this fucking door before I break it down!” he shouts, almost sounding desperate, as desperate as I feel to open it.

  Getting off the couch, clutching my wine, I walk to the door and lean against it.

  “Baby,” he groans, defeat in his voice. “Open the door.”

  “I can’t.” I feel like a fucking lunatic for taking it this far, but I’m scared. Nervous. With my track record, this thing between Niko and me should be going up in flames at any moment. Hell, it should have burst into flames weeks ago.

  “Jesus, Shay, just open the door for me.” He hits the door again, the force of his fist lifting my body away from the door.

  “Why?”

  “You fucking know why.”

  I do. He wants to tell me all the things he told his ex-wife, and I want to hear and believe them so bad. But still, that uncertainty is there. I’ve never cared this much, been so deeply in love, and if this ends it’ll crush me. So maybe that’s why I don’t open the door. I don’t want to ruin this.

  Niko hits the door again, the wood buckling under my back.

  He’s going to break my damn door down just get in here, just to get to me.

  Reaching up, I unlock the door, the sound loud in the now quiet space. Niko doesn’t push his way in, even though I know he wants to.

  Stepping away, I grab the knob and give it a twist, pulling it open.

  Niko is on the other side, both of his hands braced on the frame, his head hanging. He looks up at me slowly, his face blank as he utters the most emotionally filled, “Baby,” I’ve ever heard.

  Niko

  “MARRY ME.” THE WORDS come out of my mouth before I can stop them. Fuck, I don’t want to stop them. I mean them. I mean them more than I’ve ever meant anything.

  On the ride over here, I realized I can’t live without her. I fucking refuse to.

  Shay looks at me, physically startled. “What?” she breathes, bringing her hand to her lips.

  “You fucking heard me. Marry me.”

  Her eyes widen and she blinks slowly. “Seriously?”

  “Deadly.”

  I want to marry Shay. I want to spend the rest of my goddamn life with her. No hesitation or second thoughts.

  She’s got that wine bottle in her hand, hanging by her side, and still wearing that beautiful dress she was wearing at the bar. But her eyes are black, her makeup running. She’s been crying, and it fucking kills me that I made her, that those tears are my fault.

  “Why?”

  “Why? Because I fucking love you.”

  She sucks in a breath. “You love me?”

  “You know I do.”

  “Did you mean all that stuff you said to your ex?”

  “You know goddamn well I did, and you know you trust and believe them.” She knows me, knows I wouldn’t have said them if I didn’t mean them. I’m an asshole, but I’m not a goddamn liar, especially when it comes to her.

  “You can’t just ask me to marry you.”

  “I can’t?” It’s cute she thinks I can’t, that I won’t. I can do whatever the fuck I want when it comes to her and she knows it. She’s mine.

  I don’t give her the option or the chance.

  Stalking into her apartment, I grab the bottle from her hand and set on the floor behind her, before grabbing her and putting her over my shoulder.

  “Niko, what the hell?” she yelps, her hands on my hips, holding on.

  “You were right.”

  “I was? About what?”

  “I just can’t ask you to marry me.”

  I hear her suck in a quick, hurt breath. “Put me down,” she growls, pounding on my back. Not a goddamn chance in hell I’m putting her down. Now that I’ve got my hands on her, I’m not letting her go, not until she agrees to marry me.

  SHE’S MAD. SITTING in my front seat, her body turned away from me, she stares out the window. It doesn’t last long, though.

  Pulling off the highway and onto a residential street, she whips her head around to look at me, complete shock and uncertainty all over her perfect face. “What the hell are we doing at your mom’s? If this is some weird game or power play to get in my panties one last time, you’re out of your damn mind.”

  Jesus.

  Putting my car in park, I get out and walk around to her side. My goddamn heart is in my gut. This shit could go real good or real bad real fucking quick.

  Pulling open Shay’s door, I grab her elbow and pull her out of the car and onto her feet. “Niko,” she protests, pulling away, but she doesn’t get back in the car, and I figure that’s a win. “I don’t get what’s happening. One minute your proposing to me, then the next, we’re at your mom’s, standing in her driveway in the rain at ten at night. What the fuck’s going on?”

  I don’t tell her, I show her.

  Walking her into my mom’s house, I leave her in the living room and head upstairs. This shit won’t be romantic and sweet, but it’ll be fucking real and honest. It’ll be me.

  “Nikolai?” my mom calls, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind when I barge into her room. “What’s wrong?” She’s in bed, a book in her hand.

  “Where’s Grandma’s ring?” I ask her, trying to keep the impatience and urgency out of my damn voice.

  Her eyes grow wide, a smile on her face. “Oh, Nikolai.”

  “Ma, I need it. Now.”

  She turns, pulling open her nightstand drawer. Reaching in, she pulls out a small box and hands it to me. “For Shay, yes?”

  “Yeah, Ma, for Shay.”

  She smiles, nodding. “Good.”

  Shay’s not in the living room where I left her, and my heart stops.

  She left.

  She left me.

  Panic and desperation take over.

  I feel like I’m going to lose my shit for a split second.

  Pulling the front door open, I stop dead when I find her on the porch, stan
ding at the railing and looking out at the bay. Her arms are crossed and her eyes are wet. She’s crying.

  “Baby?” I grab her face and bring it to mine. I kiss her, and I kiss her hard.

  She kisses me back.

  Everything I love about her hits me in the chest.

  Her smile. Her smarts. Her eyes. Her laugh. Her badass attitude. Her talent. Her body. Her mouth. Every-fucking-thing about her.

  Down on one knee, I do it right this time. I open the box and show her the ring.

  I won’t lie, I’m nervous, and I don’t have a fucking clue how to do this.

  “Niko—”

  “Marry me.”

  Shay smiles softly, tears rolling down her cheeks.

  “I love you,” I tell her, meaning it.

  She nods, wiping a tear away from under her eye. “I love you too.”

  “I want you. Every fucking part of you.”

  “Niko.”

  “Marry me.”

  “Niko.”

  “Marry me, Shay.”

  She rolls her eyes, laughing softly. “Niko!”

  “Baby?”

  She cocks her head, her lip worried between her teeth. “I’ll marry you on one condition.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You never stop being an asshole. I love this sweet side, but I also like your mean side.”

  I take a breath for the first time all night, the tightness in my chest disappearing.

  “So that better be a yes, because I’m not letting you go without my ring on your finger.”

  She kisses me. “That’s a yes.”

  “Yeah, it fucking is, baby.”

  Epilogue

  Niko

  “Hi. Would you like to order a drink? Something tropical perhaps?” The waiter asks, his voice dangerously sweet. “I can get you anything you want.” This motherfucker’s flirting with my wife. Goddamn right she’s my wife. I married her as soon as she’d let me. Took six months, but she’s mine, and there’s no changing it.

  Standing at the foot of her lounge chair, I catch him eyeing her ass—the ass that’s barely covered by the tiniest bikini I’ve ever fucking seen.

  The waiter doesn’t see me standing a few feet away, the umbrella in the way, but if he could, he’d see the face of the man who’s about to kill him.

  Shay turns her head, looking at him, and then rolls over onto her back. Her hand instantly goes to her belly, resting on the bump—the bump I fucking put there.

  The waiter doesn’t see it, or if he does, he doesn’t care. Either one will get him buried under this goddamn cabana.

  I don’t know if it’s the ring or the baby, but when it comes to Shay, I’m even more protective and irrational.

  I watch Shay smile at the waiter. “Could I get a virgin daiquiri, please?”

  The waiter’s smile widens. “Absolutely. Anything else? Anything for a friend? A travel companion?”

  Jesus Christ. I can feel my blood pressure skyrocketing.

  Shay shakes her head. “No thanks. Just the drink for me, please.”

  The dude lingers, looking like he wants to say something. “I hope this isn’t being to forward or inappropriate, but you’re beautiful. I just had to tell you that.”

  She is fucking beautiful. She’s beautiful wearing my wedding ring. Beautiful carrying my baby. And beautiful naked and begging for my cock.

  Because she’s fucking mine.

  Shay smiles again, sitting up.

  I watch the way his eyes widen when her tits spring forward, that bullshit tiny top barely holding them in.

  Not able to do it anymore, I walk around the umbrella and up to my wife. “Baby,” I growl, sliding behind her and sitting on the lounge. Wrapping my hands around her body, I put one hand on my baby and the other around her heavy tit.

  Shay twists her head, looking at me, a smirk on her lips. “Hi.” She knows what I’m up to.

  I take the opportunity to grab her jaw and kiss her. She kisses me back, her tongue slipping into my mouth. Swear to God, this baby has turned her into a nympho—and I’m not complaining.

  I let her kiss me, watching the motherfucker from over her shoulder. His face sours, and he shifts on his feet, annoyed. Clearing his throat, he lets the tray he’s holding drop against his side.

  “Who the fuck are you?” I snap, pretending like I didn’t see him over here eye fucking my wife.

  “The waiter,” he mutters, swallowing roughly. “Can I get you anything?”

  “Some fucking privacy.”

  He takes the hint, not happily, but he leaves me alone with Shay.

  The little freak turns around and crawls onto my lap, her lips on my neck, sucking and licking.

  “Jesus, baby,” I laugh, letting it turn to a groan when she grinds on me.

  She’s gonna kill me.

  “Fuck me,” she pleads in my ear, her chest pressed against mine. She doesn’t have to ask me twice.

  We’re on a private beach in Mexico, at a resort on the coast. The trip she bid on at the auction a year ago. Finally putting the trip to use, we get our fucking money’s worth, on a fucking secluded beach.

  Grabbing the cups of her bikini top, I pull them down, her tits bouncing free. I suck on the sensitive skin, flicking my tongue against her nipple. Shay shivers, her back bowing.

  Clawing at my shoulders, she pushes down against me. The only thing keeping me from sinking balls deep in her is the thin material of my swim shorts, and the little strip of material she calls a bathing suit.

  “You gonna ride me?” I ask, my fingers shoving past her bottoms and taking root in her wet cunt.

  I fucking love when she rides me. Watching her work, her tits bouncing and her eyes rolling.

  “Up,” I growl, grabbing her hips and lifting her enough to pull my cock free from my shorts. One hand fisting my dick, and the other pushing her bathing suit to the side, I don’t have to tell her shit. Sliding down my cock, her greedy pussy takes me all the way, deep inside of her.

  This is how she got pregnant. Shay riding me and not stopping until I came so damn deep in her, there wasn’t a chance in hell she wasn’t getting pregnant. I blame that shit all on her and that good pussy.

  “You’re lucky you already got me pregnant,” she moans, bouncing on my cock.

  I am fucking lucky. The luckiest asshole alive. It’s hard to look back at when we met and the way I treated her, but I figure it’s why she loves me now.

  “You’re fucking lucky,” I groan, putting my hand on her lower back and pulling her into me, getting a better angle.

  Shay sucks in a breath, her head going back. “Shit.”

  “Too much?”

  She shakes her head. “Hell no. You’re never too much.”

  “No?”

  “Never.”

  Shay

  “DON’T TAKE HER TOO deep!” I holler, getting out of my chaise and putting my hand to my forehead to shield my eyes from the sun.

  I watch Niko carry our daughter into the waves, her little arms wrapped tightly around his neck and a smile on her chubby little face.

  Niko looks at me, and even through his dark sunglasses, I can see the look he’s giving me. “Calm the fuck down, yeah? Daddy’s got her.”

  “That’s what scares me,” I grumble, pointing at him.

  Jerking his chin up at me, he frowns. “Will you just sit down and let me play with my girl?”

  Two years later and we’re back in Mexico, back at our favorite resort, and not much has changed. Except this time, I’m seven months pregnant and not five. Niko is still insanely bossy, mean, and protective. He’s still my asshole husband, and I couldn’t love him more.

  “The water scares me.”

  “You trust me?”

  Sighing, I nod. “You know I do.”

  “Then sit that fine ass down and keep cooking that baby while I play with this one.”

  He leaves little room to argue, and even with that little bit of room, I could stress my point and get my
way, but I trust him. I trust him with my life and the lives of our kids, but still, I’m a mom now and I worry. It’s all I seem to do.

  Standing by my lounger, my hand on my lower back and my belly poking out, I smile at the waiter when he walks up and looks me over from head to toe. I smile because I know once Niko turns back around, he’s gonna lose his mind, and I love it.

  “Hi, Miss, can I get you anything?”

  “Do you have a menu?” I ask, prolonging his stay.

  Reaching into the apron, he pulls out a cardstock menu and hands it over, his eyes clearly trained on my chest. “I do.”

  “My wife doesn’t need a goddamn thing,” Niko growls from behind the man.

  I didn’t even see him walk up, and neither did the waiter because he jerks, surprised, spinning around to look up, way up, at my disturbingly handsome husband.

  “S-Sorry,” he sputters, turning on his heels with a quick, “If you both need anything, please, let someone know,” before he hustles off.

  Niko glares down at me. “You tryin’ to make me jealous?”

  “Did it work?”

  “You know goddamn well it did.”

  Wrapping a towel around our daughter, he scoops her up and takes a step back, away from me. “It’s nap time, sweetheart,” he coos, looking right at me. “Your mommy’s been bad, and Daddy needs an hour or two to show her how crazy jealous he gets when other men look at her body.”

  Our daughter babbles, slapping Niko’s tattooed chest, smiling up at her favorite person on Earth. She doesn’t understand a single thing he said, and that’s fine. His words are for me anyway.

  Every inch of my body heats, my thighs clenching together.

  “You ready, baby?” Niko grabs our beach bag, giving me a slow, salacious smile.