The Overnight Fame of Steffi McBride
Page 21
Someone asked the slightly cheeky question about drugs and guns, which allowed me to make the matching cheeky response and to bring on Pete. I hadn’t heard his group in rehearsals and I was quite impressed. It reminded me of happy times in the squat when he used to beat out a rhythm on anything and everything, and Pete looked really sexy doing it. If he could hold it together, he just might end up being a real star.
There was a bit more banter with me and the audience, all of us talking to one another like we were old friends. It hadn’t been that long since I would have been one of the people watching the programme and really believing that the person on the stage truly was best mates with Victoria Beckham, Jordan, Simon Cowell and Ant and Dec. In fact, I’d only ever met any of them for about thirty seconds – but, hey, this was acting too, wasn’t it?
Then on came Maggie and the audience went wild. I guess everyone who has made it in show business, or one of the allied professions, knows how easily their careers could all have gone wrong. They all know that with a few different breaks they could have been the ones ending up in an Earl’s Court bedsit with a face like a bagful of old spanners. It was like they were acknowledging that Maggie had paid her dues to the business, proved herself in the school of hard knocks and still refused to give up. All those corny song lyrics come to mind. Not just ‘I Will Survive’, but ‘I’m Still Standing’, ‘Je Ne Regrette Rien’ (impressed?) and ‘My Way’. Everyone loves a survivor and God knows Maggie was one of them.
We sang our first two songs together and received standing ovations both times, which would have been better if the audience hadn’t been told to stand up by the floor managers, but still felt good.
The band struck up for ‘A Little Time’. The director had put me at the front of the stage, with Maggie a few paces behind. I’d protested that we should be side by side, particularly as she had the first verse, but they told me it was my show and they didn’t want it to look like Maggie was trying to upstage me. Everyone seemed to be happy about it, so I didn’t argue.
I was actually watching Mum and Dad and the rest of the family as I waited for Maggie to start, feeling comfortable that the show was nearly in the bag, and really happy with the way everything had turned out.
The singing started behind me, but it wasn’t Maggie. I swung round, taken by surprise, in time to see Maggie stepping back into the shadows and Luke coming out, singing the same words he’d sung to me so often while we were making the other show. I was completely shocked. I’d had no inkling that anyone was planning to spring this on me. The lyrics were all about him taking a break in our relationship, which was pretty much what the public thought had happened to us.
He looked so beautiful and I knew he was still the man of my dreams. We had done the song so often I could sing my part without any rehearsals, but I wasn’t able to keep the emotional catch out of my voice, which must have made it all the more affecting for the audience. They must have been able to see how desperately in love with him I was, even if the song ends with me telling him that while he’s been away I’ve learned that I actually don’t need him, that I had had the time to find the courage to ‘call it off ’.
Everyone in that audience knew about Gerry; they’d read about us a thousand times in the magazines. They might have been able to see that I was in love with Luke, but they also knew I was empowered and in control of the relationship as well, that I could make a life without him if I had to, and all women love to see that. I knew, as we were singing, that he wouldn’t have agreed to do the song and to take me by surprise in this way if he hadn’t wanted us to get back together again. It was like I’d been given permission to relight my fantasies, to believe once again that my dream of being with Luke Lewis, the great love of my childhood, could become a reality.
By the time the song had come to an end, he had walked downstage to me and, taking me in his arms, he kissed me passionately for all to see. It wasn’t one of those friendly, show-business stage kisses; it was the kiss of a lover.
‘How did this happen?’ I asked him as the applause thundered over us.
‘Maggie and Grandpa made me come to my senses,’ he grinned. ‘They pointed out that there was no way I would ever be happy if I let you get away and suggested I should grow up a bit.’
I glanced across at Maggie who was standing in the wings, watching, and mouthed a thank-you. The audience kept applauding and cheering until eventually Maggie and Pete came on to join us as well and the band struck up with ‘There’s no business like show business’, which Maggie and I had rehearsed just in case an extra number was needed. Pete looked a bit of a fish out of water, but still managed to keep his cool by beat boxing along to the rhythm. The floor managers were working the audience and everyone was joining in, like the finale of some surreal pantomime, which I suppose in a way it was. I could see that even Dad was singing along, which was something I’d never seen happen outside a pub before.
I walked off stage in a cloud of happiness. Luke had his arm around my shoulders and Mum and Dad were walking behind with Maggie as if they were all the oldest friends in the world, my brothers and sisters bouncing along behind, their mouths hanging open as they ricocheted off one celebrity after another. Drinks and snacks had been laid on in a green room behind the scenes. As we walked into the room I saw Gerry waiting to surprise me with a huge bouquet of flowers and all the joy was suddenly silenced. It was as if someone had hit the pause button on the iPod inside my head, the one providing the soundtrack to my euphoria.
I saw Gerry’s eyes moving from me to Luke and then back down along his arm to the silver chain around my neck. Luke saw it too and pulled away but it was too late; I’d seen the hurt before Gerry was able to hide it again behind his jaunty, worldly air of cool. In that second I saw him realise the truth and despair.
‘Gerry.’ I forced a smile and went across to peck him on the cheek.
‘These are for you,’ he said, passing the flowers over. ‘I’ve been watching on the monitors. You were fantastic.’
‘Thank you,’ I said. There was an awkward pause as we both tried to think what to say next.
‘Listen,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘No need,’ he said, ‘not your fault.’
How could anyone be that understanding when they were having their heart broken in public? He had to be the strongest man I had ever met, and I was about to let him go.
I slipped the chain off from round my neck and pressed the ring into his hand. ‘Thanks for asking. It was really sweet and I do love you. It’s just …’
‘Please,’ he interrupted. ‘You don’t have to explain anything. I’ve got to dash, I just wanted to pop by and give you those and tell you how brilliant you are. See you at the studio tomorrow.’
‘Yes.’
As I watched him go I felt like the meanest person on the face of the earth, but within a few seconds I had been engulfed in a crowd of people, all telling me that I was absolutely the greatest thing since sliced bread. Whatcha gonna do? You have to go with the flow, don’t you? You have to keep the dream alive.
www.steffimcbride.com
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First published in paperback in 2008
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