Fear and Aggression

by Dane Bagley

  ***

  “May I go now to Sten Field?”

  “Enjoy your evening, my son; remember that we will be out late this evening, too,” Aspiria cautioned.

  “Okay. Love you.”

  “We love you too, Caryell,”answered Roloff. Caryell ran out the door, and Roloff got up to take care of the table and dishes. “Go get yourself ready, my dear.” Aspiria left, and returned just as Roloff finished the kitchen cleanup.

  She was wearing a beautiful blue dress, and smiled and curtsied as she presented herself. “You are feeling romantic tonight too, I see,” Roloff said with a mild chuckle.

  “It’s been a while since we have visited our spot. I was thinking, the city will look beautiful all lit up. I don’t think we have been to the hill since it has been electrified,” Aspiria said with some excitement.

  “Yes, and it should be a clear night. I want to look at the stars with you.” The couple held hands and began their journey. The evening was comfortable. “It has been a wonderful week with Caryell. But it has been a difficult week being the Mayor. Do you still think that I should run for re-election?”

  “You are a very good Mayor. I don’t think that anyone wants to take your place.”

  “Perhaps not, but do you want me to continue those responsibilities? It interrupted our special dinner with Caryell. We have had many family activities postponed or interrupted over the years. Sometimes, like today, you have to help with the smoothing over of problems. I love to help our town. I love to do good things for our neighbors. But I feel like it affects you and Caryell greatly. I don’t want to do this if you don’t want me to.”

  “Do you feel like I am not as supportive of you, or am bothered by your duties?” asked Aspiria with some concern.

  “No, my dear, I could not ask for more support than you willingly give. You and Caryell are as supportive as can be. It has just been some time since we have talked about it. I want to know your thoughts. We have enjoyed an amazing life so far. I want the rest of our life together to be just as wonderful.”

  Aspiria placed her left arm around his right arm, and pressed up against his shoulder. She felt so secure when she was next to Roloff. Aspiria enjoyed Roloff as the Mayor of the town. She could not imagine a better town leader. Roloff was a natural, and she sensed that the town was as secure in his presiding presence as she was. Occasional interruptions and inconveniences did crop up, but they were of no real consequence to her.

  “I think that you are the best and most wonderful Mayor. You have my vote. I will support you for as long as you have any desire to serve the town in this capacity.”

  “…and Caryell? Does he mind the interruptions? I want to be there for him. I have enjoyed this time I have spent with him, these past few days. He will want to spend more time with his friends, but I want to share with him as much time as I can.”

  “Caryell is very proud of you, my dear. I think he considers interruptions a part of our family’s civic duties. This family is together in this.” The two strode in silence for a while and enjoyed watching two large birds glide effortlessly high in the sky. They seemed to be enjoying the beautiful day as much as the Paladors were. The sun was somewhat low in the sky, but behind them. The day still seemed bright, but if they had looked down, they would have perceived the shadows growing longer. “Do you think that Caryell will stay in town, or go to the city?”

  “I don’t think that Caryell has considered such things much at all. He enjoys visiting his family in the city. There is much to do for a young man, and there are many good educational opportunities. Still, he seems very happy in our town. I think that he enjoys the outdoors as much as we do,” Roloff mused.

  “I was sad when my brothers each left for the city. They each seemed very happy, though. It was hard on my parents, but they tried not to show it—even to me. I felt their concern as I was getting older. I would not have considered leaving them. If it had not been for you, I don’t know what I would have done. I would have stayed, but I could not have managed it. There should be no burden on Caryell. It would be no trouble to us if he went to the city. I should love to have him always near us in town. Yet, if he found his happiness in the city, I would be very content also. We may want to make more trips.”

  “We could live in the city, if that is where Caryell chose to go.”

  “I suppose…no, he won’t need us following him. I don’t want to live anywhere but in our home. I should want to spend the rest of my days there.” Aspiria spoke with assertion, and it was pleasing to Roloff. He, too, preferred to spend the rest of his days in the town and in his own home. But he was fully open to the city, should Aspiria feel differently in the future. The hill was in view, and the sun was starting to set. Roloff unconsciously quickened the pace from conversational to a let’s-get-there speed.

  As they reached the top of the hill, dusk was in full bloom. Aspiria looked out towards the city, and some lights were in view. “The city will be beautiful tonight,” she said with a touch of excitement.

  “I was hoping to have this dance with you.”

  She looked at him with a quizzical expression, “But, we don’t have any music.”

  Roloff began to sing one of her favorite songs. Roloff had a beautiful, deep singing voice. He could sing effortlessly, beautifully, and sweetly. Aspiria smiled, and curtsied again. They took each other’s hands and began to dance. It had been many years since they had danced much, but they quickly found their feet. He sang alone, the first song, while she looked in his eyes, smiling widely, and at other times more gently. As the song came to a close, Roloff began another tune. This one was a duet. Aspiria had a lovely voice also, and she was game. They sang and danced their duet. Their voices never harmonized well, but only they were listening. To them, it was blissful and fun. They did not feel their age, nor any fatigue. Quite the contrary, they both felt bursts of energy flowing through them. Their feet moved effortlessly and in unison. The dancing took them over a wider range of the hill-top. Aspiria enjoyed watching the city light up, as the sky darkened. Roloff was more interested in the growing field of stars.

  As they hit their final notes, they both started breathing just a bit deeply, but smiling widely and looking at each other with love and tenderness. “Would you mind singing our song?” Roloff asked apologetically. Aspiria would have been uncomfortable if he had asked her to start off the evening in this way. But she was warmed up and loving the moment.

  She began to sing a very soft and very slow ballad. Roloff held her differently this time—much closer and tighter. He had to consciously give her enough space to sing. She sounded like an angel. They moved slightly back and forth, but mostly just embraced. His view was of the city, and they were not really rotating. As he listened, he thought on how beautiful and magical this city was, shining like the stars above. Aspiria had mentioned coming here to see the view before. The thought had not impressed him enough before to make it happen. Life was busy, and time evaporates invisibly. Now that he was beholding the view, he felt sorry that this night had not come sooner. This light sorrow, though, was easily soothed with her soft voice, and her loving embrace. As her song ended, their embrace grew closer. Their love was tightly sealed and they were one in each other’s arms.

  It was pitch dark now, and Roloff was anxious to give Aspiria the view that he was enjoying. Aspiria gasped slightly as she turned and beheld the city. Joy crept up in her, as she gazed. She had imagined the splendor, but was overwhelmed by the reality of it. “Oh, it is beautiful. This has been the loveliest of evenings.” The couple stood side-by-side, hand-in-hand, and looked over the view. In time his gaze moved to the stars. He never wearied of gazing at the clear night sky. It was his way of reaching into a more spiritual mood. It moved him to ponder the creations of his Maker and though this was not on his mind tonight, it had always brought him a sense of wonderment.

  “
I love you with all my heart,” Aspiria said as she turned to him. They kissed and embraced with their eyes closed. Breaking the silence, Aspiria gasped, and Roloff’s eyes opened quickly. “A shooting star!” she cried. Roloff turned and looked.

  “What are the odds of that?” he said with a smile and a laugh. He had not seen a shooting star since the night of their engagement. This shooting star’s illumination seemed to linger longer than he had remembered them lasting before.

  Chapter 16