Fear and Aggression

by Dane Bagley

“It looks good…a little big, but not bad,” commented Miigal who was dressed up beautifully.

  “I don’t have to go…if I look funny.”

  “You look great; I am so excited. You’ve never been to a theater all lite up. It will be amazing tonight.”

  Caryell, who was in his Uncle Toreen’s suit, did look like he was drowning. But at the same time he looked charming. Miigal was excited to take him with her and Jeriyal to the theater. Caryell had spent the night with his Uncle Toreen because Roloff was visiting with the city’s Mayor, and because of the night out at the theater. He loved staying with all of his uncles, but he preferred to be with Uncle Toreen, Aunt Zilnir, and Miigal. Roloff was closest to Priori, and so, often when staying in the city, the Palador’s would stay with him and Aunt Kaytil. Caryell, however, would often find his way over to Uncle Toreen’s.

  Miigal had changed. She was a young woman, and nowhere near as much of a child. It both bothered, and endeared Caryell to her. He loved the way that she was reminding him of his mother, but he felt younger and less mature in relationship to her. Still, she was as kind and friendly as ever; and even in her new grown up state, she was happy to have him with her.

  Punctual as usual, a knock came to the door. Miigal’s countenance brightened, as a smile came across her face and she glided to the door. Caryell looked down at his feet, and played with his sleeves of his jacket that were too long. The door opened and the couple embraced like magnets in sympathetic harmony. The moments felt like minutes to Caryell, and he was less comfortable than ever. He was really regretting being there, and felt as though he wanted to crawl under the carpet. Soon, however, Miigal had Jeriyal by the hand and practically dragged him toward Caryell. “Hi Caryell, I’m so glad that you are coming tonight; I think that you will really enjoy yourself,” said Jeriyal.

  Caryell simply looked at him and offered an awkward and uncomfortable smile. They had met before; Jeriyal had come to help on several searches after Caryell’s mother first disappeared. He had always been friendly with Caryell, and clearly took an interest in Miigal’s extended family.

  Jeriyal was a handsome, tall, muscularly built red head with striking blue eyes. His wavy red hair was accented by facial freckles, but not so many as had accompanied his youth. He featured a nearly perfect, straight, white toothed smile, and exuberant confidence. Miigal was justifiably smitten, and she always felt these feeling reawakened when they met up. His feelings for her were no less profound. He saw in her charm and beauty that made her instantly attractive, mingled with innocence and intense spiritual sensitivities. She was a perfect gem as she was, and yet like her Aunt Aspiria, seemingly destined to bloom into an even greater beauty as time would go on. The couple was mutually attracted and in love with each other. It oozed from each of them, in every word, glance, and touch. To Caryell this was all too sickly sweet to stomach.

  “Shall we go,” Jeriyal said, more as a directive than as a question. Miigal placed her left arm through his right and proceeded to the door. Caryell followed behind much more slowly, almost hoping that they would take off so quickly that he would be left behind and forgotten.

  “Come on,” she said as she turned around to the young man trudging along, head down, behind her. No, he was not going to be forgotten, and so, he came up to them as they left the front door and walked beside Miigal. She put her arm around his shoulder, but he cowered and moved a little further to her right. She, probably unconsciously, understood his discomfort and removed her arm from Caryell’s shoulder, and instead crossed her torso and put her right arm on Jeriyal’s prominent bicep.

  “A lot of people have seen that star. Once Miigal told me about it I started asking around. It was definitely not a falling star. It would have never crossed my mind to think that it could be a large craft up in the sky; but now that I know…when I think about it, it couldn’t be anything else.”

  “Has everyone seen it, the same night that we did?” Miigal asked.

  “No, it has been seen by different people, on different nights since the time that she disappeared. I guess everyone just thought that it was a falling star; I don’t know. But when you think about it; it is pretty amazing that we have visitors here. No one would have thought, I guess. I wrote down all the days and who saw it. Most people can’t remember the exact date, but still I hope it helps. I gave the list I had to your Uncle Priori. He told me that he had a lot of other sightings documented as well.”

  “I am told that the meeting with our Mayor and Uncle Roloff went well today. Uncle Roloff was worried about everyone thinking that he was crazy, but really we are all crazy for not being aware of this craft that everyone has been seeing.”

  “We’re going to get your mom back. Your Uncle Priori, my dad, and all the men at the institute are really smart. Now that we know where she is, we can make a plan.”

  “Thanks, Jeriyal. I really miss her,” said Caryell with some emotion.

  Miigal put her arm around Caryell again, and this time he didn’t flinch, but seemed to appreciate it. The night was already dark, and, consciously or not, all three of them looked up regularly at the night sky. It was a clear and somewhat crisp evening, and the sky was full of stars—but no shooting stars tonight.

  The walk to the theater was long, and as the threesome left the subdivision and entered more major city streets, the walking traffic increased precipitously. Most were dressed in rather fine attire, and were anticipating the various attractions of city nightlife. Caryell had not experienced this scene before. He had been with his parents into the city for daytime activities, which had left quite an impression on the boy used only to a rural life. Night life was a bit different. There were not many youth or children out at all. Other than himself, the youngest that he had seen, so far, were Miigal and Jeriyal’s age. Many of the couples, or groups, were middle aged, and, not a few, were quite older.

  Caryell had not experienced grandparents, and so he looked on at the elderly couples with curiosity and admiration. His attention focused in particular on a couple that was walking on the same side of the roadway, but in the opposite direction. The man was heavyset, mostly bald with his few strands of hair combed awkwardly over his scalp, and in a dark grey suit. He was hunched over and carried a cane. He was probably in some pain as he walked, as he moved at a significant, deliberate, and slow pace. His wife walked erectly with her arm, in his arm that did not carry the cane. It was the man’s duty to escort her, but she was clearly carrying some of his weight. In form, he was escorting her, but in substance, she was escorting him. She wore a cream dress with a rich red overcoat. Her silver hair looked like she had spent hours preparing every strand. At first Caryell thought that she must be a daughter, but as they approached closer, he could see that she was equally aged, but that she hid it cleverly with her make-up; and her general condition displayed a greater degree of vibrancy. The hunched over man looked at Caryell as they passed and gave him a generous wink. Caryell was beginning to feel more comfortable already.

  The next people to catch his attention were a middle aged couple. The man was tall with dark hair, and slender. He was talking, rather loudly, to his companion, likely his wife, who was pretty with dirty blond hair. She appeared to be straining to keep her attention focused on the conversation. She certainly was not being given an opportunity to join in. The man, oblivious to her difficulties, continued on unabated. Caryell found it particularly entertaining to watch the man gesticulate as he spoke. Whatever he was talking about, he obviously felt very passionate about, and seemed to think that what he had to say was of supreme importance. She, on the other hand, wore the look of a person just trying not to nod off. She had apparently given up on even nodding, or even saying, “uh huh.” He was just going on, and on, and on. As they passed, Caryell tried to smile at them, but they were both oblivious to him.

  Miigal and Jeriyal exchanged a look as this couple passed by. Up ahead there was a grou
p of young ladies making their way, jovially, towards them. Four of the five young ladies seemed to be thoroughly engaged in a lively conversation, mingled with giggles. The fifth lady was younger than the rest, perhaps sixteen years old. She was slightly out of the inner circle. As she tried to engage herself with the group, her efforts were ignored. She was likely a younger sister of one of the other young ladies. She wore a white knee length dress with blue flowers. She had a nice figure, with long blond hair, and a particularly pretty face. She had the complexion of an angel, and a countenance the same. Caryell had been enjoying people watching tonight, but his pleasure increased when once his attention met this girl. As they approached, the young lady had stopped trying to fit into the group, and was simply looking ahead. Caryell was not conscious of the fact that he was staring at her. He felt nearly invisible in this big city, with so many people who all seemed to be in their own worlds. Before he realized it, she was staring back at him. She was walking directly toward him now, only a few feet away.

  The two groups were large, and they would have to make some adjustments so that both groups could pass by each other. The young lady, who was being ignored by her companions, slowed down so as to maneuver behind the other girls. Caryell moved a little closer to Miigal, but did not take his eyes off the young lady, and neither did she take her eyes off of him. As the groups prepared to pass, the young lady, with bright blue eyes, dark long lashes, and bright ruby lips—that stood out particularly against her porcelain white skin—turned, to keep eye contact with Caryell, and smiled beautifully. Caryell felt his heart race and his face flush. He returned the smile out of pure pleasure. As they passed, their arms and shoulders touched and grazed past each other. The smell of the ultra-sweet fragrance of her perfume was almost intoxicating. Their touch ignited an electrical shock within him. He had never experienced these sensations before. He had never felt attraction to the opposite sex before. His heart was still beating quickly, and the vision of her angelic face continued to shine before his mind’s eye.

  Miigal and Jeriyal began to converse, but Caryell was completely distracted. The atmosphere and mood of fashionable people walking, the city street lit up, and the lit up buildings, mingled with the hum of conversations and footsteps, provided a surreal background to his mental experience. He felt a joy that he had never experienced before. He could not feel his footsteps; he walked mechanically, yet he felt an energy burst, that increased as he walked along.

  Time no longer behaved itself as before, and so, as the theater came into view, he did not know how long he had been walking. “Are you excited, Caryell?” asked Miigal with a smile.

  “Oh, yes,” he answered emphatically without even thinking. Jeriyal pulled three tickets from his coat pocket, and the group entered the theater. The lobby was half filled, but was noisy with conversation. A large fireplace was lit with a roaring fire. The lighting in the lobby was candles, and not electrical lighting. It provided an ambience that brought Caryell back to a time, not too long ago, before his home had electrical lighting.

  “I’ll get some refreshments,” said Jeriyal.

  Miigal began to talk to Caryell about the show. Caryell tried to listen at first, but soon her words were a blur, amidst the various conversations, and his dreamy vision of the young beauty that was still on his mind. All he could take in was Miigal’s beautiful and excited face. She smiled and talked, as he looked up at her and smiled as well. Soon Jeriyal came up, and handed them both a drink. Caryell held it, and it felt cold in his hand. He may have been thirsty, but the idea of taking a sip did not cross his mind. Miigal switched her attention back to Jeriyal, and they continued to talk. Caryell looked up at both of them while they talked, but he still was in his own world; before he knew it Jeriyal was leading them into the theater. The theater was lit on the sides by candlelight, but it was not exclusively non-electric. The ceiling had a dim illumination by electrical bulbs. The dark maroon curtain was lit by some spotlights.

  They did not have great seats—towards the back and on the right side. Caryell was still holding his drink in the right hand, and began to feel some pain from the ice cold cup. He switched hands, and for the first time thought to take a sip. It did not take long for the musical play to begin. The lights went down, so that only the side candles could be seen. The pit orchestra began, and the music perfectly complimented his infatuation. In fact, as the music went on, her face lit up his mind’s eye with even greater clarity, and his heart began to race again. The bright lights lit the stage, and the curtain was already up. Dancing and singing filled the stage, and his mood was elevated. The theme of the play was a love story, and for the first time in his life he sympathized with this theme. The musical was so bright, so pleasant, and so encapsulating, that his mental picture of the smiling beauty moved to the back burner, and he enjoyed the play. His mood was enhanced, and he enjoyed every moment of the experience.

  By the time that the play was over, Caryell was mentally back. He had a smile on his face that could not disappear. His heart felt warm, and he felt happy again, for only the second time since the disappearance of his mother. He was feeling the afterglow of his first crush. He would never see that young lady again, (her life was soon to be cut short), but it wasn’t really for her that he felt this infatuation. It was an awakening within him that he was experiencing. He had been so quiet on the walk to the theater, but on the way back he could not stop talking. Jeriyal and Miigal exchanged glances several times throughout, especially as he gushed about the romantic theme.

  As the trio arrived at Miigal’s home, Caryell was still talking. The couple paused at the door and embraced warmly. Caryell turned towards them just as they kissed. Instead of turning his head, and getting embarrassed, he watched. Miigal opened her eyes and saw Caryell staring. He was embarrassed then, and looked down. “Good night, Jeriyal. Thank you so much. That was a great musical. What a great night.”

  “Thank you, Jeriyal; that was the most fun that I have ever had!” expressed Caryell.

  “I know champ, I’m so glad that you were able to come,” he said as he reached over and ruffled Caryell’s hair. He turned back to Miigal and gave her another short peck on the lips, as she lifted her right foot slightly. “Good night.”

  Miigal and Caryell entered into her home, and walked into the living room. “What do you think of Jeriyal?”

  “He’s great! I really like him.”

  “I’m a lucky girl. He is a perfect gentleman, you know. When you start taking out the girls, you have to be the perfect gentleman. Let her take your arm, and open the doors for her. You need to lead, but don’t be bossy. If she is a lady, she will let you lead, but she’ll also let you know what is on her mind. The most important thing, though, is this: you bring her home in the same condition that you picked her up.”

  Caryell looked at her quizzically. “You are her knight, and your quest is to protect her virtue. Give her a hug; if she wants you to, give her a kiss; but don’t take anything from her that is not yet hers to give. If you love her, then you show her that love by protecting her. Don’t ever make her have to defend her own virtue; don’t ever cut it close. Jeriyal is a real man; I am safe, and protected with him. I can enjoy his touch and his kiss, because I know that it will not go farther than it should.”

  Caryell nodded and smiled. The vision of the young beauty entered his mind again. He could not image anything better than protecting that girl; to be her knight and to return her in the same condition that he found her, and to hold his head high was what he wanted to do. Caryell had grown up over this past month; he was no longer the boy that had last seen his mother.

  Chapter 38