Fear and Aggression

by Dane Bagley

“Father, what will happen now?”

  “We will see. It is too much to expect that we will have answers this quickly.” The Paladors were nearly back home, after a long walk. Caryell did not feel like he was the same person that had left, just a few days before. He had experienced things, and he now saw the world through different eyes. The town seemed so sparse, so open and so without—without people, entertainment, and excitement. He had always loved the outdoors, and the friendships that he enjoyed here. But he now saw a world that had previously been hidden from his sight, and he wanted more of it. He had also had his eyes opened to the fact that even his world, even the city, was not the pinnacle of what existed out there. There were other worlds, and they could do even more than what could be done in the city. This idea wasn’t brand new, but it had been spiritual and abstract, and now it was concrete and right before his eyes. He did not believe that any of the young ladies that he had seen so much of in Arkasia could compare to the angel that he had seen in the city.

  Still he was holding out some hope that his mother would be returned soon, and he imagined that this would happen at the rocky clearing. For this he was excited to get back home, and see if there had been any news. Reveling in his own thoughts, he did not see the figure ahead of them, nor did he notice that the figure was waving excitedly. That is, until his father spoke, and brought him back to his current reality.

  “Seryen, it is so good to see you.”

  Within moments, Seryen had approached them and looked very relieved. He did not know where the Paladors had gone, and he was concerned. He was also concerned about the direction of the local politics. He spoke to Roloff about his concerns, about losing the election, and some of the stories going around town, that were not true. “Bastian is not being entirely truthful with the town, about you and I. I think that he will say anything to get the people against me—even untruths about you, Roloff.”

  This may have been of more of a concern to Roloff some weeks ago, but now it all seemed so superfluous and irrelevant to him; still, he listened politely. “We will address all of this in time, Seryen. I have a great deal of information that I’m afraid will put these concerns to the side, for now.” He went on to explain everything to Seryen. Seryen’s face went white, and he looked like he might need help in closing his jaw, as his mouth sat opened for nearly the entire telling of it. Occasionally, Seryen looked towards Caryell, as if to say, “are you sure that you want to tell me all of this in front of your son?” But Caryell was not surprised by anything being told; it was not new to him. His calm demeanor helped to keep Seryen from becoming unnerved.

  “Since last night, you have not seen or heard anything, I take it?” asked Roloff, after relating the events involving the orbiting craft.

  “No, I had no idea, but I certainly have not seen, nor heard anything. Shall we keep this quiet?”

  “Certainly not,” Roloff said resolutely. “The whole city now knows, and they have witnessed the craft themselves— last night. We don’t know what further intentions these visitors may have, so we need to inform everyone. I hope—now that they know that we are aware of them—that they will return Aspiria. I simply pray that she is well, and that she will be with us soon. I am hopeful, but I don’t know what will happen from here.” He spoke with a calm assurance, yet still with some doubt in his eyes.

  “I will begin at once to inform everyone. Prianna will be thrilled that you are back, and she will want you to come for dinner tonight.”

  “You are too kind, my friend. I need to go home and rest some, and then I will come by. I am sorry that I cannot go with you now, but I really must rest.” He truly did regret not being able to go with Seryen, in large part because of the concern he had in Seryen telling the story. It was a fantastic story, but it could be told in such a way to lessen, rather than incite fear. Seryen had a way of making things out to be worse than they really were. But, he was tired, and Seryen had assumed most of his Mayoral duties for the past several weeks; he would trust in him.

  As they arrived home, Caryell’s youthful vigor, which far surpassed Roloff’s, did not require him to rest. “Father, I would like to take a walk to the rocky clearing. I want to look—to see if anything has happened; I don’t think that it has, but I want to look.” Roloff was mildly concerned, but saw the earnestness in Caryell’s eyes. He saw a young man who had grown and matured over the past few weeks, in particular the past several days, and he simply let him go.

  Caryell did not want to just walk to the clearing; he wanted to re-live the night of his mother’s disappearance. He wanted to see if anything new had happened. He would see everything with new eyes, and he didn’t want to wait any longer. He began in the woods. No footprints remained, but he saw where he knew that the deer lay, and where he had been told that his mother had fallen. He followed the path where the footsteps had been. He reached the clearing, and walked to where some tracks had been. Nothing looked different, it was rather disappointing. He somehow expected to see something new, something different—a clue, or a sign. He wanted to come upon the clearing and see his mother walking towards him, just recently brought back. He no longer knew what was possible, or what was real.

  After kicking some stones around for a while, and wandering around, he decided to head back. Something inside of him began to urge him to stop. He had now stepped inside of the woods, and turned and looked back. There was nothing, not a sound or a thing in sight. He began to press forward again, and he felt the urge to stop. He stopped and looked around, then listened. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Everything was calm, quiet, and peaceful. He felt peaceful. The urge inside of him, that had caused him to stop, felt different now. He began to feel the urge to pray. He had said his prayers that morning before setting off, and he always said his prayers before going to bed. He had prayed at other times, when the need arose, but why did he feel the need to pray right now?

  He took a few more steps forward, and then stopped and dropped to his knees. He began to say a prayer in silence, and then felt inside that it should be aloud. He had never prayed aloud, when he was by himself. It felt strange, but he began to pray out loud just the same. First he felt an overwhelming comfort and peace. He did not know what to pray about, but then the words seemed to come into his mind, and he spoke them as he felt them. He prayed over everything that had been on his mind, and especially his mother. With time, the words to the prayer slowed, and then stopped. But the prayer was not over. Instead, he could feel words coming to him; not words that he should say, but instead words that he should hear, or feel.

  Caryell believed in God, and he had never felt any doubts. Now, however, he knew that God lived. He felt His presence, and felt His spirit communicating to his own. He was told that all would be well; that all things were in His hands, and that he had no reason to fear. He was told that his mother was being looked after, and that whatever happened, he was to trust in Him. He was told that he was loved—truly loved—that he was loved such that he could not comprehend it. He was told that his Savior was real. He was told to not worry about what would happen from here, nor to worry that his mother’s disappearance was his fault. Instead, he was to live his life, and to do good. Caryell listened for a while longer, and then realized that the communication was over. He felt peace, comfort, and security. He knew that God lived, that He loved him and his mother. All would be well; he was at peace, and he was filled with joy.

  Chapter 44