Shade

by Jamie Begley

  Lily licked her bottom lip, staring at her plate. “I don’t understand. Sometimes you’re bossy, but other than the few times when we’ve made love and it was your turn, you don’t seem overtly Dom-like to me, not compared to the relationship you shared with Bliss.”

  “How would you know about the relationship I shared with Bliss?”

  “I asked her.” Lily’s voice dropped to a whisper. “During Beth’s baby shower, a few of the women were talking about the men.”

  “I was a topic of conversation at a baby shower?”

  “No! Bliss and a few of the women became a little inebriated and began talking. Killyama was talking about Train, and then she asked me about your tattoos. She really wanted to know—”

  “I know what she wanted to know. Did you tell her?” His jaw was clenched so tight he could barely talk.

  “Of course not! But Bliss did then Jewell. Don’t be angry. They didn’t know I was listening. They had offered to pack Beth’s gifts to her car. I took one out, and they didn’t see me.”

  “You could have told them you were there,” Shade snapped.

  “I could have … but I didn’t,” Lily readily agreed. “I want to understand you.”

  “All you had to do was ask me instead of listening to gossip.”

  “I’ve tried, but you always make me feel as if I’m imagining things or blowing things out of proportion. I wanted to understand that side of you better.”

  “What did you find out?”

  “That you treat me differently than them.”

  “Each submissive is different, and you’re my wife.”

  Lily took a drink of her water before continuing. “She said you’re a master with a whip, that you can leave patterns without bruising that go away in a few hours. She said you made several on her back, but you haven’t with me. I looked. Why?”

  “I told you, each submissive is different, with their own particular needs. Bliss enjoys pain; she craves it. You do not.”

  “How do you know? You haven’t really tested my limits, have you?”

  “No,” Shade admitted.

  “Why? Because of my past?”

  “Partially…” Shade continued, despite the flash of hurt that crossed her face. “And partially because I knew you would ask when you were ready for more.”

  “Like the other women in the clubhouse did?” Lily looked away from him, staring at the doorway of the restaurant.

  When King frowned, taking a step forward, Shade shook his head. Lily had broached the subject, and he wasn’t going to let her end it before it was settled.

  “Eyes to me, Lily,” Shade said firmly. He was tempted to give her one of those patterns she was jealous over when they went home. If she wasn’t so far along, he would have left no doubt in her mind that she was his submissive.

  She turned her gaze back to him. “I told you I’ve had sex with the women in the clubhouse, so why are you bringing it up now?”

  “Because you don’t treat me like you’re my Master like you did the other women! Am I doing it wrong? Is it because I’m pregnant?” Lily’s lips trembled. “I’m not special to you at all, am I?”

  “Lily, I married you, so of course you’re special to me.” He lowered his voice. “Are you upset because I don’t treat you like your idea of what a sub should be treated like?”

  “Yes! You don’t treat me like one at all.”

  If he lived to be a hundred, he would never understand his shy wife. Her convoluted thinking would stump a rocket scientist.

  “Why do you have my dinner on the table when I come home?”

  Lily frowned, believing he was changing the subject. “Because you frown and go to eat at the clubhouse if I don’t.”

  “You hang my clothes in the closet the way I like, why?”

  “Because you go behind me and do it the way you like. The last time I messed up, you washed your own clothes for two weeks before you let me do it again…” Her voice trailed off.

  “And when I want to fuck my way, do you turn me down, or are you looking forward to it?”

  She didn’t answer, her face turning angrily red.

  “Now you’re getting angry because you realize I have been treating you like my sub,” Shade mocked. “There are several different kinds of Masters, Lily. I don’t need contracts or whips unless I feel it’s what the sub needs. I guide you into finding your own personal fulfillment while I also find mine. That’s what makes a good Dom/sub relationship.”

  “Lily.” Both of them looked up to see King standing next to their table. Her father bent down to kiss her on the check. “How was lunch?” King asked, his eyes going to Lily’s still full plate.

  “It was good, but I’m not very hungry. I need to get back to work.” Lily started to rise from the table.

  “Just a minute. King, will you ask the waitress to bring the check? Tell her to add a piece of Willa’s cake to go. Lily can’t have her cake and eat it right now, so I’ll save it for her for later.”

  Lily’s eyes sparkled at his play of words.

  He paid the bill and took the cake when King handed it to him before escorting Lily outside to the truck. Lily climbed in, sitting with her arms crossed in front of her breasts.

  Shade sat down behind the wheel, his wife’s stubborn silence amusing him. She had been jealous when she had believed he had differentiated his relationship with the women at the clubhouse and her. However, now that she knew he had been treating her the same, merely with a different method, she wasn’t any happier.

  When he pulled up in front of the church store, Lily climbed out, ignoring the hand held out to her. He placed it on the truck door, blocking her from moving away.

  “Enjoy the rest of the day at work. Tonight, you can tell me which pattern you want me to put on that pretty little ass of yours.” He dropped his hand, moving away, and Lily slammed the truck door.

  “I won’t be home until late. Beth and Razer are going out, and I offered to babysit,” Lily said smugly before rushing into the church store.

  Shade stared at the store, debating going after her. Eventually, he got back inside the truck, not wanting to give Brooke the satisfaction of hearing an argument between him and Lily. Lily also needed time away from him to think.

  Driving back to the clubhouse, he didn’t regret responding to Lily’s questions the way he had. When she had said she wasn’t special to him, it had cut through him like a knife. She was challenging his feelings for her, feeling as though he was holding a part of himself back, and he couldn’t fault her instincts when she was right.

  * * *

  “This is ridiculous. Rachel is going to know this is a set-up,” Beth snapped from the backseat.

  “Not if you two are there, she won’t,” Shade replied, looking at his quiet wife in the rearview mirror.

  The wives were all furious at their husbands for going along with Cash’s plan. He had asked them to come to show Rachel she could fit in. When the women didn’t feel it was right to trick Rachel and had denied Cash’s request, he had gone to Viper. Then Viper had reined the women in, making it part of their punishment for not telling Cash where Rachel had been when she had disappeared.

  Lily looked away from him, turning to look out the window. She had jumped into the backseat with her sister when Beth had angrily climbed back there, but she had been the only one to agree when Cash had asked them to go.

  It had surprised Shade, but when he had asked her why she had avoided the question, leaving the room. She was doing a lot of that lately. Shade’s lips tightened. Lily still remained an enigma to him in some ways.

  Shade parked the truck beside the motorcycles, jumping out to help Lily before she could open her door. She hesitated before placing her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her down to the ground. Shade closed the truck door and was about to move away when he looked down to see tears in her anxious eyes.

  “I’m sorry I’ve been such a brat.”

  Shade motioned for Razer and Beth to go on w
ithout them as he pressed Lily back against the side of the truck. His hand cupped her check, rubbing his thumb against the soft flesh.

  “Angel, I love you.”

  “I love you, too. I just want to make you as happy as I am. Instead, I created a rift between us.”

  “No, there isn’t. I’m not going to let anything come between us. I understand it’s your first relationship, Lily. I rushed you into marriage then into having my child.”

  “Shade, you didn’t rush me—”

  “I could have waited until you had dated a few more men, lived a little more on your own, but I didn’t. I couldn’t watch you dealing with your past anymore. Truthfully, it wouldn’t have made a difference, anyway. I couldn’t live without you in my life anymore, and I wouldn’t have been able to watch you become involved with another man when I knew I was the one for you.”

  Lily gave a low laugh. “You’re very confident of yourself.”

  Shade shook his head. “I’ve never been overly confident of you, Lily.” Shade let her see his vulnerability for a brief second before closing down again and stepping back to hold out his hand.

  “You ready to welcome Rachel into the club?”

  “Let’s do this.” Lily grinned, taking his hand.

  They walked to the group sitting near the lake where the men had laid down blankets. Shade was holding onto Lily as she sat down on one when they heard the approach of a motorcycle.

  Cash pulled in and parked with Rachel on the back of his bike. They got off, immediately coming toward where they were sitting. As they neared, Shade could see Rachel was nervous being there with so many of The Last Riders.

  “Hi, Rachel.” Lily’s soft voice had Rachel’s tense expression relaxing as she saw Lily sitting next to him. Then her eyes traveled to Beth who was sitting on the other side of her, next to Razer.

  “Hi.” Rachel walked closer to the blanket they were sitting on.

  Lily scooted closer to him, giving Rachel enough room to sit down next to her. Beth then edged closer to Razer on the opposite side, giving enough room for Cash to sit down next to Rachel.

  “It’s beautiful out here at night, isn’t it?” Lily smiled, handing her a soda out of the cooler. “Rider came out earlier to set out the torches.”

  “It’s nice here. Holly and I bring Logan.” Rachel looked at Beth cuddled up into her husband’s side. Razer and Beth must have had their own talk because Beth no longer was acting angry with Razer.

  “Who’s keeping the babies for you?” Rachel asked Beth.

  “Evie and King. I think she would actually keep them if we let her,” Beth said wryly.

  Winter came out of the water with Viper’s arm wrapped around her waist. Winter sank down on the blanket across from Rachel while Viper reached into the cooler, pulling out two beers and giving one to his wife.

  “I’m surprised you’re out on a school night, Winter,” Rachel teased.

  “I usually don’t. I hate being tired first thing in the morning, but we all punish ourselves sometimes for a good cause.” Winter threw Viper a sidelong glance which he ignored, lifting the beer to his lips.

  A sudden squeal filled the night air as Rider threw Bliss into the water, going in after her and pulling her into a passionate kiss, gradually edging her over to the darker side of the water. As Rachel lowered her gaze, embarrassed, Razer cut into the sudden silence.

  “Let’s go for a swim,” he said, helping Beth to her feet.

  All the couples stood except Lily, Shade, Viper, Winter, Rachel, and Cash. The air rang out with splashing and laughter.

  “I’ll open the store tomorrow. I need to organize a few things for Willa,” Lily said. “Lewis’s younger children need a few things, and I thought I would make a couple of bags for them and deliver them when you come in.”

  “I’m sure she’s going to need several things. I picked them up some games to keep them occupied.”

  “I offered to take them to the Saturday matinee to give her a break.” Winter’s husky voice was due to Viper’s determination that his wife wasn’t going to stay angry with him. He was kissing her neck, uncaring that Rachel was watching.

  They all wanted Rachel to become more comfortable around them, and to do that, they would act normally. The husbands were all constantly touching their wives, and the brothers were not shy about touching the women. Cash wanted Lily, Beth, and Winter there to show her she would have ready-made friends in the club, not pretending they acted differently than they did.

  Shade bent down, capturing Lily’s mouth with his hand on the back of her neck, holding her in place.

  “Let’s go for a swim.” Cash rose to his feet, holding out his hand.

  Rachel took it, standing up. “I don’t have a suit.”

  “Lily brought you one. You can go into the trees and get changed.”

  Shade shrugged when Lily sent him a reproving look. He had given the suit to Cash when he had asked. His wife easily was the most modest of the women. If she showed her shoulder or calf, she felt as if she was exposing too much. Shade didn’t mind, though; he liked that he wouldn’t have to kill any fucker caught staring at her.

  Lily buried her face in his shoulder when Cash changed into shorts in front of everyone.

  “You don’t want to get a good look? You didn’t mind staring at Knox’s,” Shade teased.

  Lily raised her head. “You know I only looked because he had that piercing.”

  “Yeah, sure,” Shade laughed.

  Lily sent him a quelling look as Rachel walked out, timidly approaching the water where Cash was waiting for her.

  Crash took the last two beers out of the cooler before standing.

  “Anyone want to go on a beer run?” No one spoke up.

  Razer sighed, kissing Beth on the cheek before rising.

  “I’ll go with you. We can take the truck. I’ll ride my bike back.”

  Shade tossed him the keys.

  “She’s going to have a hard time when she finds out about the club,” Lily said, drawing his attention back to her.

  Shade reached for the beer Train was handing him.

  “Yes, she will, but you did, too. It depends how much she wants to be with Cash, but I think she’ll get over it. It’s not easy for him, either. He likes women who like to play and play a lot. They both are going to have to do some giving and taking.”

  “Like us?”

  “Like us,” Shade agreed.

  “Is it worth it to you, Shade?”

  Shade saw Beth’s anxious face when she heard Lily’s question.

  Shade stared back at Lily. “Lily, you’re worth me giving up the club if I was left with no choice. You mean everything to me. Are you not happy with the club in our lives?”

  The other members quieted, listening in to the conversation going on between them.

  “I can’t imagine them not being in my life,” Lily answered softly. “It would be like losing a part of myself if I lost them. They make me feel safe and cared for.”

  Shade nodded, taking her hand.

  “Don’t worry, Lily; you’re never going to lose us. Once The Last Riders claim you, we don’t let go of what’s ours.” Viper spoke for the whole group who all nodded at his words.

  Bliss and Rider had come out of the water and had paused behind them, listening to the conversation. Beth handed her a towel, which she used to wrap around herself before crouching down behind Lily, hugging her from behind.

  “We would never give you up. You’re too special to us.”

  Lily placed her hands on Bliss’s, squeezing them in a return of affection.

  “I’m not going anywhere. I’m exactly where I belong.”

  Chapter 88

  Lily was practically skipping ahead of him. Shade reached out, taking her hand and making her wait for him.

  “Quit being a slow-poke,” Lily chastised him with a grin. She was already impatient. She had been ready long before the rest of The Last Riders who were following along behind them.

/>   “The town festival isn’t going to be gone before we get there.”

  “No, but the best food will be. I’m hungry,” Lily complained.

  “You’re always hungry,” Shade teased her as they neared the tables that had been set up for the crowd to sit at. It was surrounded by booths which had been set up to serve food made by the townspeople.

  “Hi, Rachel!” Lily called out when she saw her friend sitting at one of the tables.

  When Cash took a seat next to her, Shade and Lily shared a look, wondering why Cash was giving Rachel a heated glare.

  “Hi, Lily,” Rachel greeted Lily, ignoring Cash.

  “You’re not eating?” Lily asked, looking down at the empty place in front of Rachel.

  “I’m afraid to. There’s enough fatback in those dishes to take down a horse,” Rachel joked.

  “I’m starved. I’ll be back in a minute.” Lily left, going to the different booths.

  Shade and the rest of the men remained seated.

  “Exactly when did you sneak out?” Cash asked, breaking his silence.

  “Around two. Don’t worry. I didn’t walk home; Cheryl gave me a ride,” Rachel told him.

  Cash didn’t look any happier with her answer. Rachel shrugged, clearly not concerned that Cash was still angry.

  Beth gave her a wink while Shade and Razer shook their heads at each other. Beth was protective of Rachel because she was Lily’s age.

  “You’re not hungry?” Rachel asked Beth.

  “I’m with you. Thank God I’m not pregnant anymore and don’t get the cravings Lily does.”

  The women turned to watch as Lily went from booth to booth, getting samples of everyone’s food.

  “When did Brooke learn to cook beans and greens?” Rachel asked.

  Shade was surprised the evil bitch could boil water.

  “I have no idea,” Beth said then added, “You going to try it?”

  “No, it would be too depressing if she can cook as good as she looks.”

  Lily came back to the table with a huge plate, sitting down between her and Mag.