Shade

by Jamie Begley

  He and Lily stayed at the clubhouse until late. When they went home, Lily showered first. After Shade took his, he lay down on the bed and she rolled over to him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close.

  “Is it awful of me that I’m glad you weren’t there?” she whispered.

  “No.” His hand went to her ass, massaging the firm flesh. “You think it’s awful I wish I was?” he whispered back.

  Lily placed gentle kisses against his throat. “No. You wanted to protect the men you lost, and you weren’t there, so you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t feel bad about it.”

  Shade shook his head in the dark, rising up on an elbow. “Lily … I don’t…”

  “You don’t what?” Lily stared up at him with the same look she had since the day she had married him—complete trust.

  “Nothing. Night, angel.” He turned the light out, lying back down.

  “Good night, Shade.”

  * * *

  He stood in the doorway of the church, watching Cash put on the performance of a lifetime.

  “Seems to me it would have been a lot simpler to propose,” Train said.

  “Must have been worried about getting a yes,” Shade stated as Lucky performed the wedding ceremony between Rachel and Cash.

  “Another brother bites the dust. There must be something in the water,” Train joked, but Shade heard the envy in his voice.

  He was aware that Cash had let him join in with him and Rachel a couple of times.

  He might live with Lily in a separate house, but that didn’t mean he didn’t do his job by seeing to the members’ safety. He was fucking ecstatic that he didn’t have to follow Rachel home anymore to make sure she arrived safely when she snuck out of Cash’s bed every morning. Shade supposed he could have called and told Cash she was leaving, but the brother had always appreciated things more when he had to work for them. He hadn’t given a shit about his promotion in the military until it had been denied. Then he had worked his ass off, pulling extra duty until he had been promoted a year later. He didn’t slack off once he had the promotion, either. Rachel was a smart woman, and she would keep Cash on his toes.

  Train was different than any of the other brothers. They all loved pussy and lots of it, but Train more than any of them. The difference was the man wanted a wife and kids. He wanted to settle down. He just hadn’t met the woman yet who could give him what he wanted. The brother was fucking eye-candy to women, like that fucking Conner whose ass he had sent back to Texas. Most women wanted Train for his dick, not seeing the tortured soul underneath.

  “Enjoy yourself while you can. Once you put a ring on their finger, your life’s never the same again,” Shade told him.

  Train looked at him sharply. “You regretting getting married already?”

  Shade saw Lily crying as Cash slid the ring onto Rachel’s finger.

  “I’ll never regret marrying Lily. It was the best moment of my life. If it lasts fifty years, it won’t be enough time with her.” Shade was aware he was opening himself to the brother, but he was also aware of the load he was carrying. “It’s like cutting your soul in half. You can either give it up voluntarily or fight it all the way.”

  “Which was Cash?” Train said, nodding toward the happy couple kissing to the cheers of the church congregation.

  “He fought it long and hard.”

  “How about you?” Amusement filled Train’s face.

  “Me?” Shade slapped Train on the back, pushing him forward to congratulate the newly married couple. “Hell, I was easy. I gave it up without her having to ask for it.”

  Shade stood in the shadows, remembering his words to Train two days before as Brooke turned the bedroom light off.

  Viper and the others had returned from the funeral a few hours ago. He had remained behind with Lily, Winter, Beth, and Diamond. Knox had made Diamond stay at the clubhouse while he was out of town.

  As soon as the brothers had returned, he had gone to talk to Evie before coming over. The Freedom Riders were taken care of, and it was Brooke’s turn. All he needed was the opportunity.

  Brooke was going to Georgia the following week. She had told Rachel when Rachel had requested that Pastor Merrick find someone who could help out in the store for a couple of days so she and Cash could have a short honeymoon. Lily wanted to, but he had put his foot down. There was no way she was stepping foot back in the church store until Brooke was no longer a threat.

  With her due in two weeks, it barely gave him enough time to do what he needed. Brooke would be leaving for Georgia, but she wouldn’t be coming back.

  Chapter 90

  “What’s the rush?” Viper asked when he saw Shade come out of the factory in a hurry.

  “I left Lily at the obstetrician’s office when her appointment was delayed because the doctor was delivering a baby, so I’m going back to pick her up. If we didn’t have that special order to get out, I would have waited with her.”

  “I’ll see you later then.”

  Shade nodded, getting inside the truck and driving toward town. He had texted Lily that he was on the way before he had left the factory.

  He drove the truck to the front of the doctor’s office and was about to get out of the truck when Lily came rushing out, practically jumping inside the truck, which wasn’t an easy accomplishment at her late stage of pregnancy.

  “What’s the hurry? You in labor?” Shade asked, noticing her pale cheeks and frightened eyes.

  “No.” She remained quiet after that, staring out the window.

  Shade put the truck in gear then drove back toward the clubhouse, shooting her several glances along the way. She was being uncharacteristically quiet, and her fingers were trembling.

  When he pulled up in front of the clubhouse, she climbed out without waiting for him before going up the pathway as if she was trying to outrun him.

  A sense of foreboding struck Shade. Something was wrong for Lily to be acting that way.

  He followed behind her, concerned yet wanting to wait until they were alone at their house. She didn’t go to their house, though. She went to Beth’s and Razer’s, knocking on their door.

  “Lily, what…?” Shade started.

  Beth answered the door, her eyes going first to Lily’s frightened face then Shade’s concerned one. Before she could speak, Lily held out her hand.

  “I need to borrow your car keys.”

  “Okay.” Beth left the door briefly before coming back. She was about to hand Lily the keys when Shade cut in.

  “Lily, if you want to go somewhere, I’ll take you.” Shade tried to take her arm but she jerked away from him, still not meeting his eyes.

  Razer came to the door of his house, watching silently. When he would have said something, Shade turned to him and snapped, “Don’t interfere.”

  “Lily, come inside and tell me what’s wrong.”

  “If you don’t give me the keys, I’ll call a cab. It’s what I should have done, but a cab wouldn’t drive me to the airport in Lexington.”

  “You’re too far along to get on a plane,” Beth reminded her.

  “Then I’ll drive to where I’m going.”

  “Lily, what is fucking wrong?” Shade couldn’t keep the harshness out of his voice because he was too worried. His guts twisted at how she was ignoring him as if he wasn’t there. She hadn’t acknowledged his presence until he had reached out to touch her.

  Bliss and Train had been sitting on the picnic table, drinking beers. Shade felt them watching. The kitchen window was open, and when the door opened and the members started coming out, he knew they were hearing their raised voices.

  He reached out to touch Lily’s arm, but she moved out of his reach again jerkily.

  “I’m leaving you, and as soon as possible, I’m going to divorce you.” Her voice was emotionless, unlike anything he had heard come from her before.

  “The hell you are!”

  “You can’t stop me. You’ve lied to me the whole time we w
ere married. I’m the only one here who didn’t know your secret, because you knew I wouldn’t marry you if I knew the truth.” Lily walked agitatedly back and forth across Beth’s porch.

  “What are you accusing me off?” Shade asked quietly.

  “You’re an assassin, hired by the highest bidder to kill people. Did you kill Digger?”

  “Yes.”

  “Georgia?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, God.” Lily shook, crying and grabbing onto the porch rail.

  Beth took a step forward, but Shade blocked her. Razer took her arm, pulling her back and holding her around the waist.

  “I’m not going to apologize to you for anything I’ve done. I’ve never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.”

  “You’re not God! It’s not up to you to make that judgment.”

  “Whose is it, then? What justice did their victims get? They don’t even have a fucking body count on how many women Digger killed or know where their bodies are. Their families will never be given the chance to bury them. Where’s the justice in that?

  “Georgia tried to kill you twice, and do you think she would have shed one tear if she had succeeded? The night she started the fire, she could have killed not only us, but the whole club. It was full that night, so over sixty people could have died.”

  “She was in prison.”

  “The bitch had three kids, and her lawyer was filing a petition to get her out,” Shade said remorselessly.

  “You don’t even care that those kids are orphans now.”

  “I gave Lewis a job so he could support them.”

  “He’s dead.”

  “Which I’m not responsible for. I’m searching for their father.”

  “That doesn’t matter. You killed their mother.”

  “Which they’re better off without,” Shade said ruthlessly.

  “You don’t even care, do you? But that’s not a surprise, is it? You already know you’re incapable of emotion, don’t you?”

  “Yes, I’ve known since I saw a kid in second grade get hit by a car, and I didn’t feel anything. I knew before then something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t understand what the psychiatrist was telling my parents.

  “He told them I have an attachment disorder, either from the constant moving around my father had to do in the military or the copious amounts of alcohol my mother drank while she was pregnant. Take your pick; it could have been either or both.”

  “You lied to me. You told me you loved me! Everything—all of it—was lies.”

  “None of it was lies. I love you, and I have from the first moment I saw you,” Shade said truthfully.

  Lily turned away from him, holding her hand out to Beth. “I’m begging you for those car keys. Please, Beth,” Lily pleaded.

  Once Beth held out the keys, giving them to Lily, she turned, leaving the porch and going down the walkway.

  Shade didn’t say anything as he followed silently behind her, his cold heart filled with anguish which was slowly breaking him inside.

  “You bitch!” Bliss moved to block her path. “Do you even know half of the things he’s done for you? If it wasn’t for him, you would have been in a psychiatric ward by now.”

  “Shut up, Bliss,” Shade ordered.

  “No, I’m not going to shut up. I’ve loved that man for years! Fucking years! But he never once gave me an ounce of hope that I was anything except a pussy for him to get off in. For you, he works a job he hates, kisses your ass as if you’re a fucking princess, and do you appreciate it? No, you’re leaving him and taking his child, too. Go! You don’t deserve him.”

  “That’s enough, Bliss,” Winter said, stepping forward. “Lily, please stay with Beth or in town and think this over. Don’t be rash in making a decision.”

  Lily stepped around her and kept walking; however, she turned around when Shade kept following her.

  “Stop! You can’t change my mind. I’m leaving!” Lily screamed at him.

  “I know. I won’t stop you from leaving, but I’m coming with you.”

  “No, you’re not! Our marriage is over, I’m going to file for a divorce…” She twisted her hands together.

  “Then take off my ring, I’m surprised you’re not throwing it at me. You like to throw things when you’re mad, so why aren’t you throwing my ring?”

  Lily lips trembled as she turned to go back down the path. “Go away!”

  “Where you go, I will go,” Shade repeated. “I won’t break my vows to you. I promised.” Shade stared at her, seeing the tears well in her tortured eyes.

  She fell to her knees, crying while holding her stomach as she rocked back and forth.

  “Oh, God, help me. Please, help me. I can’t do this,” she prayed.

  Shade crouched on his knees beside her without touching her. “What can you not do, Lily?”

  “Leave you.” Lily buried her face in her hands, crying helplessly. “I told her I wouldn’t even after she told me all about you and showed me proof. I told her I wouldn’t. She showed me your military records, and she told me Digger and Georgia were both killed by a sniper.”

  “Who?” Shade asked, already knowing the answer.

  “Brooke. She told me, if I didn’t leave you, she would turn over the proof to the sheriff in Jamestown. I told her we would get a lawyer, and she laughed at me. She told me…” Lily cried harder, raising her face to him. “Brooke told me she would kill you by hiring someone better than you, and that, if she couldn’t have you, no one would. She even said she had taken precautions so that, if anything happened to her, you would be blamed for it. I didn’t know what else to do but leave … I don’t want you hurt because of me,” Lily cried heartbrokenly.

  “Angel…” Shade reached out, gently pulling her into his arms. “Without you, I’m dead anyway.”

  Lily buried her face in his shoulder, unable to stop crying. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she kept repeating.

  Shade spoke soothingly to her, repeating he loved her over and over until she was lying spent against him.

  “How did Brooke get to you?”

  “She came inside the room the nurse showed me into.”

  “How did she get in?”

  “I don’t know. I just assumed she snuck inside. Evie was off today, and I didn’t know the nurse working.”

  “Let’s go home.” Shade was going to the doctor’s office as soon as he was able to get Lily inside.

  He started to lift her from the ground, but Lily frantically shook her head.

  “I can’t. Brooke said, if I went home, she would know. Please, Shade, I can go stay with Penni until after the baby is born. We’ll talk to Knox and see what we can do to stop her.”

  When Shade’s eyes caught Viper’s concerned gaze, he nodded silently, motioning the members to engulf the couple in their midst.

  “Lily, listen to me carefully. We’ll stay in the clubhouse—”

  She shook her head. “Brooke will know—”

  “I’m going to see Brooke is taken care of. Trust me, angel.” Shade stood, helping Lily to stand. He started to take her arm to help her into the house but she gave a sudden cry, clutching her stomach and crying out in pain.

  “Shade!”

  He picked her up, carrying her toward the parking lot. He placed her in the truck while the brothers were climbing on their bikes with the women jumping on behind whoever was closest.

  Her water broke as he was getting into the truck. He started the motor before backing up then followed behind Viper and Lucky as they pulled out onto the road. A long line of motorcycles rode behind the truck.

  “Rider isn’t going to be happy with you,” Shade teased.

  Lily gave a gurgling laugh. “Tell him he can put my name in the punishment bag.”

  * * *

  “Will you quit pacing? You’re making me nervous,” Lily moaned between labor pains.

  Shade gave his wife a baleful look. “Should you sit like that?”

  Lily was s
itting cross-legged on the bed with a sheet over her while she rubbed her belly. “It eases the pain.”

  The nurse came into the room, looking at the monitor. “You’re progressing nicely. We’ll be giving the doctor a call soon.” The nurse turned to leave again, and Shade moved to block her path.

  “He isn’t here yet?”

  “No, Mr. Hunter. This is the first child your wife has had, so I’ll explain once again.” Her condescending voice grated on Shade’s nerves. “Labor can take several hours. As soon as she’s dilated to a certain point, we’ll call the doctor, and he’ll be here within ten minutes.”

  “And I told you I wanted him here now. Call him and tell him for me that, if his overpriced ass isn’t here in the next ten minutes, I’ll have the sheriff come and get him,” Shade growled.

  The nurse flew out of the room.

  Lily giggled. “That wasn’t nice.”

  “I have a newsflash for you: I’m not fucking nice,” Shade said, beginning to pace again.

  A soft knock sounded on the door.

  “Come in,” Shade snapped, frustrated it wasn’t the doctor when Beth came inside.

  “Can I stay?” she asked hesitantly.

  Lily held out her hand for her sister.

  “I don’t want to intrude on your special moment, but I’d like to stay.”

  “I couldn’t imagine doing this without you.” When Lily’s soft voice came out laced with pain, Shade ran his hand over his closely cropped hair. “Besides, I might need you in case Shade gets thrown out of the room.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” He crossed his arms across his chest. He dared any motherfucker to try to get him to leave. He would kick their ass out of the window.

  It wasn’t long before the door was flung open and Lily’s doctor came in, still putting on his white coat.

  “I’m here now. Let’s see how the mother-to-be is doing.” The doctor looked at the monitor before moving to the foot of Lily’s bed. “I’m going to check and see how much you’re dilated.”

  Shade held Lily’s hand as the doctor checked her. When he was done, he removed his gloves.