The Last Wizard of Eneri Clare
Page 51
“I am here now because my baby is in danger, the land that was once my home is being threatened, and a valuable ally is under siege. And now that I have some real resources at my disposal, I could not stand idly by, and watch people I care about be harmed without helping.”
“People you care about? Who might they be, Brendelle? And how would we know that? Where have you been all these years?”
“Do you think it has been easy for me, so far away from my only child, and never being able to see her sweet face, or hold her, or speak to her, or even to apologize? Do you think I did not die a little death at every milestone in her brief life that I could not share with her? That I could not be there to see her fall in love for the first time? Do you think it did not hurt to know I was not even invited to my own child’s wedding?”
“I don’t know what to think.” The two women were shouting at each other passionately now. But Tvrdik was standing by, listening for more substance, and when he found it, he jumped in.
“You knew about the wedding? Almost no one knew about the wedding. How did you?” He stepped closer to Brendelle as he posed his question. There was a pause. She met his piercing gaze for a moment, then looked at her feet, and answered quietly.
“I – I have been following her life all along. I knew everything that happened to her. The wedding was the hardest.”
“How?”
“I have my sources. Someone at court who took pity on me when I was a young girl here, so miserable and lost. He has written to me every week for seventeen long years without fail, so that I might in some measure be able to share my daughter’s life. I owe him a great deal and promised to keep his secret.”
Jorelial Rey and Tvrdik looked at one another, and simultaneously uttered, “Bargarelle.”
The Lady Brendelle’s eyes went wide with terror, “How did you…? I never…”
“Relax,” the Lady Rey said, “it just sounds like something he would do, the old dear. You didn’t give him away.”
“Ladies,” Tvrdik seized the moment, “now that we are all a little calmer, could we sit down, perhaps?” He indicated the table and chairs where he had first sat down with Jorelial Rey on what seemed a very distant night. Now she shot him a look of fire.
“Don’t be flip, Tvrdik. You weren’t here. You didn’t live the anguish of that time.”
Chastened, he lowered his head. “I apologize. I meant no disrespect.”
They let him help them into chairs, nevertheless, and all of them were silent for a moment. A knock on the door signaled the welcome arrival of servants with trays of food: fruit and cheese and wine, with a variety of pastries, both sweet and savory. A tense silence persisted while the servants laid everything out and tiptoed back through the heavy wooden doors. Tvrdik poured wine. Jorelial Rey finally broke the silence.
“I had to raise her, you know.”
“I know.”
“Father did the best he could, and there were nannies, of course, but when she needed a mother, she came to me. I was barely more than a child myself. It wasn’t easy or fair.”
“I know. And I was so sorry to do that to you. I never wanted to hurt you, Rel. You were one of the few people who was always kind to me, and about whom I cared deeply, though you might not remember it that way. But, from everything I have heard, you did a wonderful job. She was very lucky to have someone in her life who loved her that much. Lord knows I wish I had.”
Jorelial Rey, having now completely lost the veneer of the Lady Regent, was staring at Brendelle, open-mouthed, as if she were seeing her for the first time as a human being, and not simply as the objective source of so much youthful heartache. Tvrdik took the opportunity to jump into the conversation. Offering a glass of wine to the Lady Brendelle, he smiled, “You would be so proud of your daughter today, my lady. She is a most remarkable young woman – beautiful, talented, sharp as a knife’s edge, with a glorious singing voice and a way with children, and- well- with everyone. I am teaching her lessons in the healing arts, and she is picking it up like she was born to it. She was one of the first to embrace me as a friend when I came to court a stranger. She has an amazing heart.”
“I am counting on it. And thank you for that, sir.”
Rel seemed to resurrect from her stupor, “I still don’t understand why you left. Things would have gotten better. Father loved you. I could have helped you. You barely gave us a chance.” She was almost in tears now. Tvrdik touched her shoulder gently, and handed her a glass of wine.
“No, Rel, things would never have gotten better. I don’t expect you to forgive me for the terrible thing I did, but I do want you to better understand. Now that you are a woman, perhaps you can put yourself in my position a little. I was so young and naïve. I was barely older than Delphine is now, but, oh, so much less self-aware. My father practically sold me into this marriage for political reasons, and I went along with it out of duty and ignorance. Besides, everyone in my life, including my mother, kept telling me what a great honor it would be, how fortunate I was to be chosen, and what a great thing it would be for my family and my country. No one was asking my opinion. At the time, it seemed a wonderful adventure; I felt as if I had won a prize.
But, I hadn’t realized what it would be like to sail across an endless sea to a strange world, leaving behind my land, my family and friends, my language, my culture – everything that I knew and loved. This place seemed like a strange and unfriendly new world. Everywhere I went, people made fun of my accent and my strange ways, and many were cold to me. I could not find friends, and the more miserable I became, of course, the harder it was to attract any. Your father was a good man, Rel. He was kind and generous, and oh, so patient with me. In his own way, I suppose he loved me. But you know it was your mother who was the true love of his life. No one could ever replace her in his heart. I could sense that too, and knew I would never be cherished the way every woman dreams she might be. He tried, but I suspect he was pushed into this marriage on his side as well. He was lonely, and wanted more children, and I was beautiful and young, and a good alliance for the Crown. But there was such an age difference, we had so little in common. He did not know how to talk with a teenager. I became miserable and lonely and unhappy, and that unhappiness affected my health. So, I was ill a great deal and kept to my chambers. All of this just contributed to my problems and made them worse; I was more disliked and talked about, more lonely and homesick, and so forth. When I found I was pregnant, I panicked. I was so distraught over the idea of raising a child when I could not even care for myself that I almost ended my life and the babe’s.”
Tvrdik looked up at her and felt a deep pang of pain and compassion, knowing well what it felt like to be in such despair that it seems impossible or pointless to go on. They had a lot in common, he and Brendelle, and both of them had survived to recreate themselves. His heart swelled with sympathy as he heard her story. He stole a glance at Rel, but her head was lowered, and her face remained in shadow. Delphine’s mother went on.
“I decided, however, that since Gareth had been so kind to me, I owed him at least the child he wanted so badly. I knew he had the resources to raise it with or without me, and, I thought, the moment I am quit of it, I will go home. I will bear my shame and the scorn of my family. I will humble myself, and beg for my supper if need be, but I will at least be home, where life is familiar and comprehensible. And that is what I did.”
Tvrdik glanced sideways at Jorelial Rey once more, not wanting her to feel like she was being observed in this moment of very private and personal reckoning. Were those tears he thought he saw glistening in the corners of her eyes? It took her a few beats to be able to respond.
“I-I still don’t understand why you disappeared so completely…why you never could visit, or send word, or a birthday greeting or anything to tell her you still cared.”
“Ah, that, my dear, was your father’s doing. You did not know
that we were in communication after I left. As I said, he was a wise and a kind man. He understood how unsuited I was at the time for marriage, or motherhood, or statecraft, or just about anything.” A bitter laugh escaped her lips, “He agreed to annul our marriage, and give me my freedom. But he wanted Delphine. He wanted her to be raised a Rey, and he wanted to insure against any future reconsideration of my right to take her away from him. The price for my freedom was my written and sworn agreement that I would cede all rights to the child to him, and would seek no further contact with her – stay out of her life. I think he believed it was for the best not to complicate things for her, not to create divided loyalties. I was ill-equipped at the time even to consider raising a child, and I agreed, feeling she would be better off with the power and wealth of the Rey family to support her, than she would be with me anyway. What I had not counted on was how much I would miss her and long for her over the years, despite myself. And that, because of my difficult pregnancy and delivery, that Delphine would be the only child I was ever able to bear.”
“I never knew that Father had done that. I blamed you for never coming back. What happened to you then?”
“Well, as I expected, my family were shamed and embarrassed by the whole episode, and were disappointed in me. I kept to myself a great deal. I was depressed and lost. Being home did not prove the balm I had hoped for my wounded spirit. My father tried to arrange another marriage for me to get me off his hands. It was then that I woke up and realized that so many of my woes had come from being helpless and malleable, and letting other people run my life, and I thought of you.”
“Of me?”
“Yes. You might not believe this, but during the whole time I was living in your kingdom, besides your father, I remember only three people who were kind to me. Xaarus was one. I did not know him well, but he came to me as a healer, and always had a sunny word and a fatherly embrace for me. I loved him dearly and always felt at home with him. He got me through that pregnancy. Then there was Bargarelle, brusque and officious, but so sweet beneath. He took pity on a poor young girl so far from home, and tried to make sure I had a little toy or a delicacy from home now and then. He even got me a little dog, who was my constant companion while it lived. After I left, I grew to rely on Bargarelle for word of Delphine, and of life at Theriole, and he has never failed me in all these years.
“The third person was you, Jorelial Rey. Motherless though you were, and serious and thoughtful beyond your years, still you welcomed me from the beginning without reservations, spent time with me, and sat talking with me as an equal. You asked me questions about my homeland, about the world outside of Eneri Clare, about my thoughts. You asked my opinions. No one had ever done that before – asked what I thought. I never forgot that and I blessed you for it. You don’t remember, do you?”
“Perhaps. But, then, we could have been friends…why wasn’t that enough for you to stay?”
“I was young, and overwhelmed, and you had many other things filling your days. I knew you would grow to be someone of importance. You were remarkable, even as a child: smart, fearless, independent, curious, riding around on that dragon that scared everyone else off. You even introduced me once, do you remember? I was petrified, but I tried to be gracious for your sake. Tashroth tolerated me, I think. Anyway, you were such a different sort of girl than I had been, and when I was back home, reviewing my life, I vowed that if I was to continue living at all, I was going to be more like you. I was never again going to let men, or expediency, or politics, push me into things I did not wish to do. You were my inspiration. I began to re-invent myself around what I remembered of you. I put aside my flowing dresses, and took to wearing leggings and tunics. I walked and exercised to gain strength. I stole down to the stables, and bribed the hands there to teach me to ride, and when I was expert at that, I batted my eyes at some young courtier and got him to teach me archery and fencing, and a host of other skills. When my father found out, he was horrified, but he threw up his hands in despair and gave up. I refused the matches he tried to arrange for me, and instead rode, and walked, and read, and studied.
Though I was still young and attractive, most of the men at court gave me a wide berth, seeing me as odd, headstrong, unmanageable. But I was healthier and happier than I had ever been in my life – independent, strong, informed, in charge of my own destiny. Quite the change from the pale and cowering Brendelle you must remember, no? There is not so much more to tell. Five years later, I caught the eye of our king’s most valued advisor, a lord of considerable wealth, with land, men, and resources at his command. He was ten years my senior, but had never had leisure to marry. He is a good man, intelligent, funny, and something of a maverick himself. He liked me exactly as I was, and cared nothing for my history or damaged reputation. We walked and talked together, came to know and respect, and yes, love one another, and we were married the following spring. My lord has never denied me anything I asked, and even took it in stride when we found out that I could no longer conceive. It was a great sorrow to us at first, but he has adopted his sister’s son, a worthy lad, as heir, and we enjoy our lives together. I owe much of my happiness to you, Jorelial Rey, and I have always wanted to embrace you and thank you for showing me a different path.”
“I – I did nothing. I was only being myself growing up, very unlike the other children, I grant. But that was just who I am. I cannot take credit. I am glad for you that you found some peace and joy in your life, truly. I am sorry that it was not here, with us. I know my father missed you in his way. Perhaps, if you had been older at the time...?”
“Perhaps. Even so, I grieved bitterly to hear of his death. It was such an untimely and unfair blow to the both of you, and to the entire kingdom.”
“Thank you for that.”
“And, when I heard war was coming, and my child was in danger, and Gareth gone, I could no longer resist trying to do what I could to help. My husband could not be spared from Euligia’s court, but willingly granted me ships and men to come support you. King Polis also adds his blessing to the venture, ever an ally to the rightful heir on the throne of Clare. I have in my wallet letters from him to that effect, which I will deliver to you later.”
“I must remember to thank him. How did you hear of our predicament? From Bargarelle?”
“In part, but also seasoned with word on the street from dragons, heralds, bards, and Drogue’s own messages attempting to seduce us to his side – messages we of course disdained. It was not difficult to piece things together. I acted as quickly as I could.”
“And we are grateful for your generosity and support. In truth, we could use all the help we can muster against this stubborn, evil man. But, there are some wrinkles on this side of which you are not yet aware. In good time, we will fill you in on what has been occurring here, and you may judge for yourself whether you and your company are still willing to join our cause.”
“Oh? I can’t imagine anything so shocking that it could deter me from my intention…”
“Make no promises until you hear all…” Rel raised a hand to defer further conversation on the subject, and exchanged a look with Tvrdik. At that moment, there was a knock on the great door, and Warlowe poked his head in.
“My lady, Mark is here, awaiting your pleasure.”
Jorelial Rey rose from her chair, “Please send him right in.”
Mark swept in with great excitement, still radiant from the rally at the gaming fields. Without stopping to take in the whole picture before him, he began to address them, “Tvrdik, Lady Rey, you won’t believe the lists we have gathered. There are almost eight hundred names we have taken down for the Legions, beasts and sprites included. Oh, and Tvrdik, I have brought your prototype back to the palace for you. You left it unattended on the dais. Why did you both disappear in your moment of triumph?...Oh!” He stopped in his tracks as the Lady Brendelle rose from the table. “Oh, I am so sorry! I had no idea you were enter
taining visitors. Please, pardon, my lady.” He bowed courteously to the stranger, and as he straightened, his eyes suddenly grew very wide, then narrowed as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, regarding the face before him. He turned to the Lady Regent as if to ask a question, but no words formed. Jorelial Rey, a reluctant smile pulling at the corner of her mouth at his confusion, moved quickly to his side, took his arm and escorted him up to the stranger.
Softly, she said, “Mark, it is wonderful news indeed about the Legions, but we have summoned you here on an entirely different matter. I would like to present to you the Lady Brendelle of Euligia. She has just arrived here with three ships, and two full regiments come to our aid.” Mark looked confounded, turning from face to face, and searching for a clue as to why this required his presence.
“Why, that’s wonderful. A generous show of support indeed, and much appreciated, I am sure…”
It was all Rel could do to keep from giggling at Mark’s obvious plight, but she could not bear to torture him any longer. Softly, in his ear, she continued, still holding his arm, “Mark. The Lady Brendelle is also Delphine’s natural mother.”
Mark seemed at first not to process the news. “Ah....Oh! Delphine’s…? Oh! You mean…? Goodness – this is a surprise.” Tvrdik had to put his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing aloud, as Mark, in an attempt to collect himself, dropped the parchment he was holding with the legion’s registry, bent to retrieve it, missed, went for it again and tried to replace it under his arm, apologizing the entire time. The Lady Brendelle stood by, graciously waiting, sizing him up, and likely deciding, as all of them had, that he was most disarming. Finally, Mark cleared his throat, “I am Mark, Lady Brendelle, a bard here – in the palace – and also Delphine’s … um … husband.” He glanced about, possibly looking for support from the others. They nodded. “I am pleased and honored to meet you, my lady. If there is anything I may do to make your stay more comfortable, I hope you will call on me.” He took her hand and pressed it to his lips with a little bow. Tvrdik stifled another giggle. It was a very gallant gesture.