Divided

by Kimberly Montague

  I couldn't stand the way she was looking at me. I knew in my heart that this was the right decision for me, but I hated to disappoint Evelyn and Gabriel. And the hurt in Sonya's eyes made me feel even more awful. "I'm sorry," I said quietly and walked to my room.

  I sat on my bed with my laptop open, searching for information that would help me find Dev. Blindly, I searched and clicked and read and clicked and got annoyed and searched again until my head was pounding. I'd spent over an hour searching only to find that the pile of crap on the internet was pathetic and so tough to dig through. How would I ever find anything reliable?

  "Well if it isn't the girl who makes me look good." Sonya strolled into my room and nudged me over to sit on the bed next to me. "So you're really mutinying."

  "Yep." I continued searching.

  "You weren't gonna tell me you were thinking about this?"

  The way her voice raised an octave higher at the end made me stop and look at her. "I'd only just decided. I'm tired of doing this, Sonya. I just can't pretend to be okay with him not being here."

  She nodded—not the nod of someone who was placating me or the nod of someone who was pretending to go along but was really plotting against me. Her nod was as sincere as the seriousness in her eyes. I wrapped my arm around her for it.

  She squeezed me tight. "Hey, I get it. I'd do the same thing if it were Gary. I'm just worried about you. You know Dev and Harm would kill you if you put your safety at risk."

  I lifted my shoulders in a tired shrug. "I have to try. At the very least I can start moving toward Dev, or where I think he is. I don't know. I can't find anything on these stupid sites."

  "Because you're not looking in the right locations."

  I almost jumped at Gabriel's deep tone. I looked up to see him leaning in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. I scooted down on my bed. I felt like I was disrespecting him and Evelyn by going against their wishes.

  "Look kid, I can't go along with you tearing off after him."

  At those words, I let my shoulders fall and my chin drop to my chest.

  He stepped farther into the room. "But I have a bargain for you. I'll help you start digging for a location. I'll show you the right sites, and you can bury your nose in research until you know everything there is to know—and, trust me kid, there's a lot to know. When I feel like you're as prepared as you can be, I'll help you go after him. But not until you have a solid plan and you're really ready."

  I narrowed my eyes at him. "You mean when you feel I'm ready."

  "Evie, I can't stand the thought that you're running around out there trying to chase him down. Just give me something, kid. A couple months?"

  I looked over at Sonya who shrugged and said, "You can't just charge off all uninformed. A couple months of information is probably a good idea."

  I stared at the laptop screen. I'd spent over an hour searching and found nothing of any use. But, I shook my head. I didn't want to commit to any wait time. I couldn't, but what was I going to do get in a car and drive across the country shouting Dev's name? Urgh. They were right; I needed more research. I could commit to doing enough research to figure out where they were, but if I could do that in one week, then I'd go. I wouldn't wait unnecessarily.

  I turned back to Gabriel, stubbornly. "I can do it on my own, Gabriel. You know I'll find the information eventually. I can bet it won't take me a week to find enough to go running across the country to look for him. I'd like your help, but I won't commit to waiting two months."

  He covered his eyes with his hand and looked so sad. It broke my heart to disappoint him, but after losing Nathan and facing Infecteds head to head again, I was done pretending the world was just as it had been. It was time to hide with the ones you loved.

  "I have to do something, Gabriel." I let out a heavy sigh. "If I can promise to really do my research, and be as prepared as I can be, will you please help me?"

  He shook his head. "What about college?"

  As softly as I could, I admitted a truth that I knew would upset him. "I only applied to Fresno State because you made me, Gabriel. I never really intended to go. Dev's the one who convinced me that it might be useful. I don't agree anymore." The way his lips parted and his forehead wrinkled in sadness made me feel awful inside. "I've tried so hard to just live my life here and be okay with the way things are, and I just can't anymore. Please—I have to do this. I have to get back to him and Harm."

  He stared at me for several minutes with the corners of his lips turned down. Finally, he sighed. "You promise you'll take every precaution you can? Promise you'll listen to my advice and really know what you're getting into?"

  Looking him firmly in the eye, I said, "I promise."

  He narrowed his eyes appraisingly at me for several minutes before letting out a long sigh. "Okay." He signaled for me to follow him. "Let's get started."

  In the den, he brought the computer back to life from the screensaver, and I watched him type the letters "wtfgov" into the web browser. I smiled at the acronym, but a moment later, an error message appeared stating that the website we were trying to access no longer existed.

  He put his fingers to his chin. "Hmm. I wondered when they would get to it."

  "What?" I asked.

  "They keep taking down the sites. I saved a copy of it, though."

  He clicked through his files and opened up a document where a website appeared with the title "WTF is Our Government Hiding!" The all-black page with ghost-like swirls in the background reminded me of something a goth kid would wear. Gabriel scrolled down the page, which was full of images of army guys in uniforms doing various non-violent and violent things. Finally, he stopped scrolling. On the screen, large as anyone could see, was Dev. I was so completely thrilled to see a picture of his sharp nose, broad muscular shoulders, and smooth black hair that I started smiling like an idiot before my brain could take in what was going on around him.

  My smile faded slowly as I noticed the look on his face. He was so angry and yelling, pointing behind him with one hand while his other held a large black gun. In back of him, there was a military truck with something splattered across the side I didn't want to recognize. It was too obvious not to know what it was, though—blood. My stomach turned, but my eyes were drawn to Dev's face. I'd never seen him so angry. What had made him so angry?

  "Is there information?" I begged. "When was this taken? Where? What was happening?"

  Butcher stepped closer to me, leaning into my leg. He always moved closer to me when my voice became scared or angry, and I loved him for always wanting to protect me. I buried my hand in his long, coarse, German Shepherd fur.

  "Okay, slow down," Gabriel said calmly. "I had to do some digging, but I found this picture up on another site last week that talked about what was going on. They've removed it since then, though."

  "What did that site say—the one that gave more information?"

  He continued to click as he spoke. "A month ago, it seems, this happened in Texas. National Guard had already quarantined the city of Amarillo, well, what was left of Amarillo. There was a large contingent of Infecteds still wreaking havoc, and the 'special team'—that's what they're calling what looks like a small army of good Infecteds—was sent in to clear the area. They've mentioned this 'special team' several times in many different locations. This particular incident was a bloodbath. The official report is around 30,000 dead, but the message boards are talking about it being closer to 110,000. There are other pictures—more gruesome—it's not good, kid."

  Fear and excitement mixed in my voice. "But he's in a picture. And he looks okay. I mean not mistreated or anything."

  "Yes, I think he's doing okay."

  I leaned closer to Gabriel, really scrutinizing his face for any clues that he was lying to me, but he seemed very sincere. I was quiet for several minutes as my brain tried to process everything. What must Dev be going through with all the blood and death and killing? I wanted so much to be there for him. I sat farther
back in the chair, but felt very still and helpless. There was nothing I could do.

  "Talk to me, kid. Don't shut me out. Tell me what you're thinking."

  I got up and moved to the couch across from Gabriel's desk. It was so easy for adults to tell me to open up like it was a switch to flip. The truth was it was freaking tough. I never knew how they would to react. I couldn't stand that patronizing "Aww, teenage love is so painful" face or the "Is she suicidal? Should I have her committed?" face. But I had to open up or risk being put in therapy again.

  "I feel helpless, Gabriel. I can't do anything—I can't even ask him if he's okay. I hate that he's going through this alone, and I'm sick of it. He shouldn't even be in this fight."

  He nodded slowly and thoughtfully. "I can understand that. But remember, Harm is with him. I've never known Harm to turn his back on anyone that needed him."

  He was right about that. And I knew they were friends or Harm never would have given him permission to propose. With the image of Harm and Dev side-by-side in this whole thing, I was able to move my brain back to the search for them. "So Texas a month ago—I need to write this down." I went back to my room and grabbed my laptop, turning it on as I came back to the den. "Can you send me that so I can save it on my laptop?

  He nodded. "I'll transfer my files to your laptop so you can read through what I already know."

  He spent the next two hours going over the sites he kept track of, the message boards he'd joined, and the folders containing information from the websites that had already been shut down. I used my laptop to take notes on everything he told me and really wanted to go through it all after Gabriel called it a night, but exhaustion won out. I fell asleep thinking about what I would say and do when I got to see Dev again.

  Great Big Stinking Cover-Ups

  The next morning, Sonya surprised me with a trip to the coffee shop where Gary was waiting for us. When I explained my new life plan, Gary closed his eyes heavily and shook his head.

  "I guess I'm gonna fail," he said matter-of-factly.

  "What do you mean?" I asked him as I sucked more slushy caffeine goodness into my mouth.

  He rubbed his eyes. "When Vaughn was here, he made me promise to keep you from doing anything stupid. He's gonna be so pissed when he finds out."

  I rolled my eyes. "I'm capable of making my own decisions, Gary. He knows that. He knows how stubborn I am. He may have been hoping you could keep me all nice and sheltered somewhere, but he knows you could never stop me from doing something I set my mind to." He didn't look convinced, prompting me to continue. "Besides, if you were me and they'd taken Sonya, would you just sit around waiting for them to let her go?"

  He looked over at Sonya, who gave him a sad smile. His eyes came back to mine, and he let out a long sigh. "How can I help?"

  I got up and hugged him. "Your support is all I need."

  "He's one of my best friends, Evie. If you can find a way for us to get to him, you better believe I'll be there doing whatever I can."

  "Well, right now I'm still researching, trying to find his location." I pulled out my laptop and opened the lid. "I've been reading on the message boards about how they've had to go back to Texas. I'm not sure if any of that's accurate, though."

  "Oh!" Gary's eyes lit up. "Hang on. I can be helpful already." He jumped up and went to the counter. The young man behind the counter pointed to a table in the corner of the coffee shop, and Gary walked there quickly. He searched through a stack of newspapers, before picking one up and walking back to us. "I read this just this morning."

  Sonya snatched it from his hand and gave him a mocking smile. "Since when do you read the LA Times?"

  He pushed his shoulders back proudly. "My dad gets it. It's important to know what's going on in the world."

  Sonya rolled her eyes before glancing at the front page. She didn't read it, but instead, handed it to me with worried eyes.

  Setenid Blight Spreads to Oklahoma

  Last week the CDC (Center for Disease Control) activated its Outbreak Quarantine Protocol in the large city of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. The Setenid Blight, confirmed by CDC's Special Pathogens Branch, has resulted in 2,188 cases of the Setenid Blight infection in the United States. News of Oklahoma City's lock-down follows recent quarantines in several other cities including: Bishop, Barstow, Prescott, Flagstaff, Albuquerque, and Roswell.

  "CDC is working very closely with officials in the states of California, New Mexico, Arizona, Texas, and now Oklahoma, as well as with health officials in Mexico, and the World Health Organization," says CDC Health Communications Specialist Thomas Craig. "More than 500 personnel from the CDC have been working to aid epidemiological efforts in finding a cure for this illness."

  While the CDC has yet to announce a current or projected death toll for Oklahoma City, the CDC cites fatality rates from previously quarantined cities as that of 1 in 12.

  "Yes, this infection is quite dangerous, but we have been able to curtail the spread when quarantine procedures are in effect. Swift and precise action is certainly necessary, but we at the CDC are more than equipped to prevent the spread of this infection and assist those who have been affected."

  In the past six months, CDC has released twenty-three guidance documents to assist citizens in preventing infection, battling infection, and understanding the infection. CDC recommends: be vigilant about washing your hands. Do what is necessary to maintain good general health. Make sure you get plenty of sleep, remain physically active, control your stress, always drink plenty of fluids, and eat healthy foods high in nutritious content. Try to avoid touching surfaces that may be contaminated. Avoid close contact with people who are ill.

  The first thing that came to mind when I read the article was 1 in 12? Were they serious? In Bishop alone, we had lost over half of our citizens and had remained under "unofficial" quarantine for nearly two months. They claimed that the National Guard remained within the town to maintain order as we recovered, but people continued to die, we were constantly monitored for changes in our health, and were even prevented from leaving Bishop.

  Outside of Bishop, Dev said it had wiped out 75% of the population in Albuquerque. The stench of the massive cover-up they were running was just ridiculous, and I seriously felt like an idiot for not looking for the information sooner. I thumbed through the rest of the paper to find seven more articles relating in one way or another to the infection.

  At home, I searched the major news sites for information about the infection. The guidance documents referred to in the first article I read were on every site. I even saw a "How to Prevent the Setenid Blight" article on the cover of several beauty magazines shown on their websites. The title was nestled up against articles like "How to Please Your Man in Bed" and "How to Get Gorgeous Smoky Eyes." It was idiotic.

  Thinking about it though, I had to admit that they had nothing more useful to print. I mean, what were they going to say, "The best thing anyone can do when faced with a possible encounter with an Infected is RUN—run fast and don't stop!" But then expect you to read on about the best fake tanning spray. It was like tripping and falling in front of a large group of people—they just kept right on doing what they were doing, trying to pretend like nothing ever happened.

  After dinner that night, I took my laptop to the den where Sonya had set herself up a workstation complete with a bag of M &Ms and a couple Mountain Dews—studying staples, as far as she was concerned. I showed her where to start digging, and she got on video chat with Gary to let him know where to look.

  We talked about a lot of the information we'd read and laughed at several off-the-wall posts. I was surprised to find errors on many post pages stating that they had been forced to remove the information because a member had posted something they weren't supposed to let out. It was frustrating that several of those posts had titles related to the "Special Team."

  By three a.m., we had been through an entire year's worth of posts about the infection—all the way back to when it was firs
t noticed. Every mention of the "Special Team" had been saved and now sat in a folder on my hard drive. I felt like we had a pretty good handle on the site and their motivations. I didn't delve into any of the really crazy stuff like government involvement in the depletion of the ozone layer, but I'd seen plenty of "crazy" just in the Setenid Blight-related material. There were posts like: "Outbreak due to poor containment of Area 51 materials" and "Links between Setenid Blight cover-up and the alleged death of Elvis Presley."

  But the frighteningly realistic posts definitely outnumbered the ludicrous. As we sat digesting it all, Gary suggested, "Maybe you should reply to some of these threads. You know, post some opinions. Let them get to know your name then ask about Dev."

  I looked at the topics on the screen. "Here's a discussion about people who've survived a quarantine. I could post there."

  "There you go," Gary encouraged. "Just don't mention anything that identifies you or Harm. From what we've seen tonight, if they think you're giving out information about Special Forces, they'll shut you down and the entire thread."

  Someone by the name of Lara2015 posted that she had friends in Albuquerque who were infected, but not evil, and they were taken into custody and not heard from again. I finally worked up my courage and added the comment:

  I survived the quarantine in Bishop. It took out half our citizens. It infected several of my friends. Some turned into psychotic murderers, others it simply infected but left them with their sense of right and wrong. Lara2015: they took people I love too. Have you heard anything from your friends?

  It felt like we'd made some significant progress, so we decided to call it a night. As I lay in bed thinking about it all, I had a sense that I was moving in the right direction, but I still wanted to be working. Sonya commented that a good night's rest might mean the difference between me actually noticing important information instead of just skimming it due to exhaustion. I finally had to agree and shut my eyes.