A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

by J. L. Beck

  “Yeah, so don’t get ahead of yourself thinking she loves you for you. No one loves you, asshole.” I could hear the humor in his voice as a squeal sounded in the background. Gia was having a good day. At least someone was.

  “Gia loves me, and you know it,” I said more to myself than to him.

  “Whatever. That isn’t the point of this conversation. I called because I know some shit is going on, and I want in on whatever it is you’re doing.”

  “Zerro—” My words were cut off.

  “Stop right fucking there. I don’t want your fucking excuses or lies. We are a team. You do remember what that is, right? If there is something going on, then you need to tell me.” I could tell he was serious, and as I looked at Tegan, I saw her eyes glide over the simple objects in her home. I knew then this was my fight. My battle to be won. Yes, Zerro was my partner, but this was my mess, my problem, and I planned to make it right.

  “Nothing is going on, Zerro. You aren’t the Mafioso anymore so cool your shit. Kiss Gia for me and tell Bree I said I haven’t forgotten about her. As soon as I get time, I’ll stop by. Now, let me get back to fucking chilling and drinking my fucking beer.” A ball of anxiety formed in my belly. I wouldn’t put it past him to put his nose where it didn’t belong. He once was a notorious mafia king. Sometimes I had to remind him he didn’t run the show anymore.

  “If you’re lying to me, you’re taking one to the balls,” Zerro said, still not sounding convinced. I looked up only to be given the death glare by Tegan. She had to know I was lying by now.

  “Yeah, yeah. I gotta go. Nice talking to you.” I hurried off the phone hitting the end key three times just to make sure the damn conversation had ended. I loved Zerro like my brother, but he had a family. I couldn’t bear the thought of them losing him because of me. Yes, we were FBI agents putting our lives on the line constantly, but I didn’t want to be the reason for his death.

  “Sounds like you have a lot going on.” She was beating around the bush. I knew her well enough to know that.

  “A lot doesn’t even cover it.” I sighed, shoving my hands into my hair. Above all, I had to protect Tegan. Yet my job was on the line. My livelihood—hell, my fucking life was on the line.

  “I thought you were here visiting or something?” Her voice wasn’t accusing, but her eyes were. It was time to come clean.

  “Let’s go, I’ll explain in the car.” I threw the words over my shoulder as I headed out the front door. I felt her eyes burning holes into the back of my head as we walked down the stairs and to my truck. She wanted answers, and I couldn’t really blame her for it. Then again, telling her too much wouldn’t do me any good. It could endanger her even more.

  I unlocked the Tahoe and we both slipped inside. She whipped her backpack into the backseat before turning on me. “Explain. Now.”

  I turned in my seat, the leather making it easier to do so. I stared at her. I actually looked at her, the small freckles on her face, the way her eyebrows arched in anger. The way her eyes told her dark desires. She was the most destructive thing in my life. She was far more dangerous than anything made by mankind.

  “I wasn’t supposed to come here. It’s not like I wanted to come back to the area. As I told you, I figured you were happy. By now, you should’ve been moved on in life, had a baby, be married. I thought for sure you would be long gone from this place.”

  “Obviously, I’m not. Just come out with it already.” I narrowed my eyes at her feistiness.

  “A stack of papers landed on my desk that brought me back to this—to you. I decided to take the leap to the idea that you weren’t here anymore. What I discovered was you’re the center of all of it. You’re the lead to answers, and you are also the very thing I can’t seem to let slip away again.”

  Her mouth opened as if she were going to say something and then closed it again.

  “When I decided I was going to go undercover, I came here with the pretense of actually finding you and seeing if you were truly happy with your life. It wasn’t just about the case. It was about knowing I did the right thing. That letting you go was right.”

  Fuck. How had I admitted that out loud? Yet I could never admit it to myself before. She looked dazed as if she couldn’t believe a single word she was hearing.

  “Then I came into the diner for a little investigating and decided to get a bite to eat, but I saw you standing there. My mind went blank and all I could think was how wrong I truly was.” I relived that moment in my head again and again. The way her fists were clenched, the way the water fell to the floor, and the frightened look that spread across her face.

  Silence passed between the two of us, our breathing the only thing that could be heard. “I understand your need for secrecy and all, but don’t lie to me. I want to know what’s going on… I mean, if there is ever a chance…” She paused, her eyes wavering from my eyes as anxiety filled the contours of her face. “I mean, not that I assumed there would be. I guess what I’m saying is, if it were to ever work out, just be honest with me.”

  I smiled as I gripped the keys in my hand before placing them into the ignition and turning the Tahoe on.

  If there is ever a chance…

  Of course, there was a fucking chance. She had to think I was dumb. When it came to Tegan and me, I would make a chance. I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity of making her every dream come true ever again. If she thought I was leaving this place without her again, she had another thing coming.

  Looking deep into her eyes before driving off, I spoke the words to her that my heart had been begging for me to say.

  “There is always a chance when it comes to you.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Tegan

  Somehow, I had been tangled in the web of lies. Somehow, I had managed to root myself in the mud so deep there was no escaping the fate that would take place. My body felt as if it were on fire—as if I was trapped inside a burning building with no way out. My chest heaved with every breath I consumed as my eyes began to water. Was losing someone similar to death?

  I was starting to think so. Devon leaving made me feel hollow. As if a piece of me was walking around without a care, which was the truth. Devon was the missing piece of me, walking around of his own free will.

  He didn’t want you. I told myself these things every day. I forced myself to think the man I had loved, the man who had waited for me for years... didn’t love me. Truthfully, I was wrong… So fucking wrong.

  “Wake up, baby.” Devon’s soft voice wrapped me in a comforting blanket pushing the dream to the back of my mind. My eyes popped open, and I lay there staring up at the ceiling before rolling over to look at him.

  His green eyes shined brightly back at me. They held so much intensity and unforgiving secrets. I remember everyone in school used to call him green eyes. The girls were the worse, always in his face telling him how much they loved his eyes. He would just smile and say thanks, not understanding the fascination people had with those emerald orbs. His eyes alone set him apart from everyone in the crowd. They were hypnotizing, and every time I looked into them, I felt I was in a trance, under a spell that revolved around him... Devon Mitchell.

  “What was that about?” he asked as concern lines started to form on his forehead. Good luck talking yourself out of this one, Teg.

  Didn’t he realize he had enough on his plate? Finding out I hadn’t left or that I hadn’t moved on with my life as he had hoped was like a punch to the chest. I remember the look of shock that flashed across his face when he walked into the diner and saw me standing there. Remembering that moment reminded me he truly thought leaving me was the right thing to do.

  “Just a bad dream,” I murmured rolling onto my back again. We hadn’t touched since my apartment, but now that I was awake, and my emotions were all over the place, all I could think about was his body on me, his hands all over me as his lips placed kisses everywhere while whispering encouraging words of passion to me.

  “You were s
creaming in your sleep. A bad dream seems a bit of an understatement.” His voice was raspy with sleep, sexier than ever, which only made me want to explode. “Not really,” I said rolling over to face him for the second time within minutes. I didn’t want to tell him the nightmares of losing him plagued me. I didn’t want him to know just how much it hurt me to lose him.

  “What do you mean not really?” he questioned me. I bit my bottom lip nervously as I tried to decide if I should tell him or not. Better yet, how to tell him without throwing my heart on the line.

  “Let’s just go back to sleep. I’m sorry I woke you.” My heart was beating out of my chest, so loudly I wondered if Devon could hear it himself.

  “No.” His voice was faint as his arm reached over me, landing on my lower back. The impact of his body pushing into mine caused every breath in my chest to escape harshly. We were chest to chest, the hardness of his body molding with the softness of mine caused a shiver to run down my spine, and my nipples pebbled. His hand trailed up my spine to the back of my head as he brought us face to face. I could see the flecks of gold in his eyes and feel his hot breath against my skin, reminding me of our first kiss…

  Rain slicked bodies, mud, and love so deep I never thought it would end…

  “Talk to me. Don’t push me away. Don’t go into hiding. I know you’re used to doing this all on your own, but you don’t have to anymore.” His voice was so sincere, like a bandage to my own heartache.

  My heart skipped a beat as sweat formed on my hands. I was scared, nervous, and for what reason? I had known him the better part of my life, and for those two years we were together, I had shared things with him I had never shared with anyone else. Now things between us were different, but at the same time, the same. It was as if time stood still for us, holding onto those things that brought us together so long ago.

  “It was just a dream about the past…” I paused watching his eyes pan across my face. “About you and me. About how all of this seems too good to be true.”

  I wasn’t the only one to think it, either. Earlier, when we had gotten back to the cabin and Devon was showering, I had called Caroline to let her know I would be at her party this weekend I also wanted to tell her about Devon showing back up after all these years. She had two things to say about that. One, Devon coming back couldn’t ever be a good thing for me and two, that it was all way too good to be true. My mind agreed with her, but my heart, my heart still wanted our happily ever after.

  “Tegan.” His breath smelled of cinnamon, which did nothing to stop the nervousness flowing in my veins.

  “There are lots of things in life too good to be true. You don’t think I don’t think that myself?” He paused. “Or when I look at you, I don’t worry you could be nothing but a figment of my imagination? If I look away for too long, that you’ll disappear? I helped you get in this mess. I put you through hell…”

  “You didn’t—” I objected, but before I was able to get the rest of the words out of my mouth, warm lips landed on my own and the scent of cinnamon invaded my senses, hot and burning away whatever it was I was thinking. None of it mattered, especially not now and not when his mouth was devouring mine just as he had devoured my pussy earlier. All that mattered was Devon and me, and his lips against mine.

  “I can’t get enough of you.” He took a deep breath, mumbling against my lips, and I understood his pain because, without him, I could feel a dull ache in my body. It was as if a bone had been broken but never fully healed.

  I nodded, biting at his lips for more. I wanted more—no, I needed more. More of his lips on mine, more of his skin touching mine. I just needed him.

  Fire filled my belly as he rolled us over so I was on top of him. I could feel the pressure of his cock pressing into me, pulsing against the fabric of my pajamas. He needed me, just as I needed him. My mind went blank, and everything that wasn’t Devon and me in this fraction of time seemed unimportant to me. My focus was on ripping away every piece of clothing separating us so I could touch him... feel him... on me, in me.

  Our minds must have been fused to the same thoughts because, not a moment later, his hands were everywhere—in my hair, on my face, under my shirt, and tugging at my pants. He wanted this just as much as I did—if not more.

  “I want to fuck you so bad…” His voice was like a beacon calling out to me, never allowing me to escape.

  “Then fuck me, Devon,” I said lustfully. I didn’t even recognize my own voice. I was turning into a reckless, sex overloaded female.

  “I will.” A pant escaped my mouth as he nibbled on my lip.

  “I’ll fuck you until you can’t walk, until you can’t mutter a single fucking word. I’ll make you feel me for days just so you remember who it was who made you feel that way.” His admission was sexy as hell and caused my heart to beat even faster as I watched the bright green of his eyes turn a shade of forest green, signifying just how much of an effect my body had on him.

  His dark promises had my pussy clenching, and instead of responding to him, I pushed myself down harder, grinding against him as fast as I could. The friction did crazy things to my head. It felt like a roller coaster ride, and the anticipation to get to the top was killing me.

  My nails sunk into his skin as his lips consumed every inch of my neck. Teeth pricked against my skin as he placed tiny bites along my throat. I could feel the warmth spreading from my core, radiating outwards, spreading all over my body as my skin flushed red. I quivered in his arms as a display of fireworks was set off behind my eyes. The darkness behind my lids burst into colorful patches of reds, blues, and greens.

  My body was floating, and for the first time in forever, I felt like I was tasting heaven. The primal need for hunger filled the air as Devon flipped us over, laying me beneath him. My pussy was still shuddering with aftershocks as I slowly begin to come down. I felt so naïve to have dry humped him and gotten off on it.

  “I want you skin to skin,” he barked. His voice was unrecognizable, on the verge of coming unhinged. My mouth watered with anticipation as I realized my fantasies were about to come to life. I would finally feel him inside of me, as we became one.

  I could feel the fabric of my pajamas being ripped away as I got lost in his body hovering above mine. His movements possessed me and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The way his muscles moved in the small amount of lighting. The flex and tension within them as his veins bulged. I wanted to beg. To plead.

  His tongue darted out wetting his lips, his eyes going up and down my bottom half three times before coming back up to my face. He wasn’t Devon anymore. God, no. He was a man on a mission for love, a man about to prove just how much he loved me.

  “You aren’t wearing any panties.” He wasn’t asking, he was simply stating a fact. There was a roughness to him, but when his hands landed on my skin, they were nothing but feather soft gentleness.

  I wasn’t self-conscious, but when the man you had loved your entire life all but stopped breathing as he stared at you, you become aware of your flaws. A part of me felt like covering my body, cowering away from him, but the other part of me wanted to expose myself fully. That part of me wanted to be laid bare, spread wide open beneath him. Unable to hold back anymore, I tugged at the hem of my nightshirt exposing my breasts.

  “So. Fucking. Beautiful.” Each syllable was a crack to the hard exterior I spent years building up around my heart. I wanted to give us another chance, but I wasn’t stupid—our love was as risky as the danger I now faced. However, in this singular moment, I was going to forget that. I was going to live for today and not the danger that lay ahead.

  He reached down and cupped my face in his hands, bringing his lips to mine, breathing me in as if I were the only oxygen left in this room. My hands roamed over his body, gripping at muscles and trailing over parts I hadn’t ever felt before.

  One hand slid between my thighs as my legs helplessly fell to the sides, my pussy unable to resist his touch. One finger sunk into me and then a
nother, stretching my already soaked core.

  “This pussy… This wetness…” His voice was raw with desire and my muscles clamped down on his fingers with every word. “Every glistening drop from this pussy belongs to me. Who had you before me will never matter again once I get done with you.”

  Just as my mind registered his words, he slammed into me with both fingers. My back arched off the bed as pleasure shot through every vein in my body.

  “Fuck, yes…” Devon moaned, slamming into me again. His fingers rubbing in all the right places. His hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he pulled me forward to stare deep into his eyes.

  “Come for me, baby. Come for me like it’s the first time I’ve ever touched you. Come for me like you do when you touch yourself. When you think about what it would be like for my cock to slide deep inside you...” His dirty words were causing my head to spin. I couldn’t focus on anything. All I could do was feel—feel the slamming of his fingers inside of me. Feel my heartbeat meeting his pace… and then I was coming. Again. My toes curling as my slickness coated his hand.

  “Ahhhh… Mmmm…” I moaned as I tugged on my bottom lip with my teeth forcing myself not to scream. Aftershocks coursed through me as my pussy tightened with every breath I forced into my chest. I needed to breathe, but I couldn’t—I didn’t want too. The pleasure was all I needed.

  I slowly felt him pull out as I opened my eyes and watched him lick away the juices, my juices that lingered on his fingers. Again. I could hear his intake of breath as he sniffed the air, taking in the scent of my arousal. Every movement he made was sensuous and erotic as I watched him remove his fingers away from his tongue.

  “Do you trust me?” His voice was like water running through gravel. I nodded my head without a thought. I would always trust Devon. Everything we had been through up to this point made it possible for me to do so.

  A wicked smile pulled at his lips, triggering me to wonder what I had just agreed to.

  “I wouldn’t. Trusting me means you give me full control. Full control to fuck you. Lick you. Bite you. To make you my own in every way possible. Do you want that, Teg? Do you want me to make you mine in every way possible?” My heart was about to burst out of my chest with all the questions he was asking. There was no way for me to answer all of them when I couldn’t even form a coherent thought, let alone anything other than a moan of pleasure.