A Kingpin Love Affair (A Kingpin Love Affair #1-5)

by J. L. Beck

He was everything I ever dreamt he would be. Everything I always wanted. Gentle in all the right ways, but rough when needed.

  “You’re welcome to join me.” His tone was seductive and I so badly wanted to give into it. I mean, what girl wouldn’t? The thing was, we weren’t an item, and hooking up with him again would do nothing for my still breaking heart. I told myself I wouldn’t let him go, that I would make him stay. I also knew better, though. I knew, when the time came for him to walk away, I would let him go again.

  “Uhhh… Yeah… No… Thanks…” I said each word trying to convince myself more so than him, as my body all but screamed ‘are you fucking crazy?’

  “Are you turning me down, Tegan?” I shielded my eyes, but it did no good when I felt his hot breath on my shoulder. I turned my head to the side and looked at him, I mean really looked him.

  His hair was grown out, his eyes dark, and still very full of secrets. His lips were God’s blessing. His body made me want to climb him like a tree.

  “No…” I said only to correct myself with, “I mean, yes.” I could feel him smile against my skin. It worried me how fast he could go from a serious FBI agent to a hot as sin lover.

  “Which is it?” he taunted, his finger slipping under the strap of my tank top. I felt drunk on his smell as it invaded my senses, stopping me from saying another word. I wanted to say ‘Yes, take me’ with every part of my being, yet I knew deep down inside, saying NO was much safer.

  “No.” I was firm on my answer, but the second his finger skimmed over my shoulder, my body betrayed me.

  “I have fucked up so badly, Tegan. I have made the biggest fool of myself. I have ripped your heart out, and I have caused us so much pain. I know what I said hurt you, and I know I told you I couldn’t handle being with you. I will do whatever I can to protect you, but right now, I can’t stay away from you. I can’t keep my hands off you, and I can’t think of you alone out here while I’m in the bathroom. I might deny us the chance to be together, but I won’t deny us the chance to be together like this one last time. Give me something to remember, baby. Give me something to feel.”

  He was making this too fucking hard. Way too fucking hard. I stood up, coming face to face with him so I could see the lust, so I could see the need and feel the desire radiating off him.

  His cock was hard against my belly and as I gazed down, I could feel my own insides clenching at the mere thought of being taken by him again.

  His finger slipped under my chin tipping my face back up to his again. “I know you want this. I can hear your heart beating out of your chest and I can smell your arousal. If I slipped a finger inside you right now, I bet you would already be wet—wet for me.”

  If we can’t have each other, then we can have this. I could hear my heart at war with my mind as I stood there thinking about everything he said.

  Was he right? If we couldn’t have each other forever, wasn’t a little slice of the pie better than nothing? I mean, I like pie, he likes pie, so why keep something we both like away from each other. I could savor that taste, the feel of him my entire life.

  I needed to stop thinking.

  To stop caring.

  I needed to live in the moment, and at this moment, it just didn’t matter.

  It didn’t matter if we could or couldn’t be together. Hell, there was a chance that we wouldn’t even be alive later.

  I stared into his eyes where fierceness showed. I bit my lip as I leaned into him whispering softly, “If I can’t have you as my own, I will make you wish that we could be together. If all I get is tonight, then so be it.”

  Our teeth clashed against one another as he gripped my head tightly making sure my lips stayed snug on his. His need was evident, and as he picked me up, I wrapped my legs around him.

  “Every night when I lie in bed I will think of this moment. Of the way you felt around me, against me, underneath me.” His chest constricted with every word he spoke. His lips descended back onto mine eating up any chance I had at responding to him. His hands roamed all over my body, through my hair, under my breasts, over my shoulders, as I grew wetter and wetter for him. I could feel him mapping me out as he tried to pinpoint the exact place to kiss me.

  A soft moan escaped me, and I almost laughed trying to cover it up. I couldn’t even put into words the way he made my body feel. My hands lingered in his hair as he continued to place hot kisses across my chest and shoulders.

  My eyes opened for a moment, and I realized we were in the bathroom. My back landed against the wall, and my head was tipped up again.

  “When you come on my cock tonight, I want to look deeply into those beautiful blue eyes of yours. That way, I can never forget what you look like when you come,” he commanded as darkness settling into his eyes and making me wonder what kind of dark things he wanted to do to me.

  I nodded my head before lurching at him, needing so much more than his kisses. I let them take over my body and gave into them completely. Coldness danced on my skin as he pulled away from me.

  “When your feet touch the ground, I need these pants off.” His voice was full of lust as he lowered my feet to the ground. “Too slow, baby,” he said as his fingers worked at my pants diligently.

  My hands found their way to his pants, unbuttoning and shoving them down to his ankles. He smirked at me as I rose, hurriedly kicking at my own.

  “I want to be close to you, one with you.” My voice was soft and filled with so much love I felt it would burst from my chest at any second.

  “You will always be one with me.” His lips traveled over the curve of my shoulder. “You will always have me by your side.” Then they moved to the other side and I felt my toes curling. “Whenever you feel alone, whenever you think that you can’t make it remember, I’m in here… even if I’m not there physically, my love is. We’re truly invincible because our love can withstand anything.” His words set a fire to my heart, and I couldn’t hold on any longer. He pushed me back, pinning me to the wall as one of his hands kneaded my breast while the other slipped past the waistband of my panties.

  My lips slanted against his as he shoved two fingers inside of me. I moaned out in pleasure, unable to keep my unyielding passion to myself.

  “Your pussy was made for me, it’s mine,” he growled.

  “Mmmm…” I moaned as he continued to pump his fingers inside of me.

  “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath as his hand moved down to my breast, pulling it from its cup. He squeezed it roughly, as it lay heavily in his palm. I could feel my nipples growing harder as he leaned down, lightly blowing on one before releasing the other and doing the same.

  “More…” I whimpered. I could feel him smile against my skin, and for some reason, it just caused more pleasure. His fingers slowed to a torturous pace as he slid in and out. In and out.

  I could feel my walls clenching, my insides turning to molten lava. Warmth filled me, spreading into every single part of my body as fireworks shot off behind my eyes. My lips parted and a breath of air escaped them. I was coming, and it was the sweetest, the most touching feeling in the world.

  My body sagged against the wall as my body tried to catch up with my mind. My senses were in overdrive as I closed my eyes, letting myself have this moment.

  I allowed myself to just feel everything.

  And I could. I could feel Devon’s fingers against my skin as they made their way to my back, unsnapping my bra and removing it completely. I could feel him stepping away to turn the shower on and the heat of his body as he came back to me. I could feel his hands moving me, the water forcing me to open my eyes as it touched my skin.

  He held my face to his own as we stared not only at each other, but also into each other, connecting our souls even more as our eyes locked. He was my soulmate and I could feel it everywhere.

  I opened my mouth to say something when his finger landed against my lips. “Don’t say anything. Tonight we let our hearts talk. Everything can be said with our bodies, and I’m ab
out to show you exactly how I feel.” His voice was overflowing with emotion as he spoke those words to me.

  He didn’t wait for a response, nor did he say anything else. With a blink of an eye, he had me wrapped around him and against the wall. His cock was placed at my entrance, slowly slipping in. My walls gripped him while pleasurable pain ran through me, stretching me inch by inch.

  Stroke after stroke, he brought me to climax. Not once but twice, pushing me further and further into the abyss. Our bodies were wet and slick against each other, molded as one. With every hard, powerful thrust into me, my back slid up and down the shower wall, and I could tell he was dragging it out, keeping us both on the brink, never wanting this moment to end.

  A light sheen of sweat covered our skin, mixing with the hot water that beat down on us. I gripped him as tightly as I could, squeezed him even tighter as I fought to keep us in this moment. My nails dug into his shoulders, marking his body as he imprinted himself deeper into my heart.

  “Tegan…” he whispered my name as his teeth grazed my neck. My blood was boiling, my insides melting as my entire body became liquid. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t feel anything anymore other than him. Devon.

  No matter how much I told myself I would let him go if that’s what he really wanted, I knew I couldn’t. Neither one of us would be able to walk away from this unscathed because, when that time came, we wouldn’t be leaving with our own hearts but with each other.

  “Devon,” I said with a sigh as he gazed down to where our two bodies met. He watched himself drive in and out of me as I coated him.

  His movements became jerky and all I could feel was the pulsing of his cock vibrating inside of me, echoing throughout me. His final stroke was like a fist to my heart as his hot come hit the back of my cervix, and I forced myself to hang onto him.

  Every drop he poured into me, I could feel my heart fighting that much more. His scent, his lips against my skin, even the beat of his heart against my breasts was my own personal confirmation of him. Of us.

  He didn’t know it, but I would never let him go because, when you love someone the way that I love him, you don’t let them give up. Our love was invincible in every way, shape, and form... I just needed him to realize he was the very reason behind that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Devon

  She looked so peaceful as her eyes fluttered closed. Her body was worn out, as was mine, but that didn’t matter to me. Not nearly as much as being able to stare at her all night. I had made love to her twice before bringing her to bed. Though no tears fell from my eyes, my heart wept for what we couldn’t have.

  I pulled the covers up over her shoulders after shrugging into a shirt and a pair of sleep pants. She was wearing one of my shirts, and if I had to keep looking at her, I was going to take her again, worn out or not. I honestly didn’t think she could handle another round, so I lay next to her and took in everything that was her.

  She was beautiful, just like always.

  I continued to stare at her more and more, realizing I would never be able to do all the things I dreamed of doing. Pain seared through my body, and deep in my heart, a dull ache formed.

  My eyes fluttered closed as I took a deep breath, memories once again taking me under.

  Remember me. Remember me.

  Nightmares always plagued me.

  High school romance couldn’t possibly cause this much pain. It wasn’t love, really it wasn’t. Or at least I kept telling myself that. I couldn’t handle the idea of it actually being something.

  “You promised me, Devon!” Every time I closed my eyes, I saw red cheeks streaked with tears. A face that was so far broken there would be no going back on what I had done.

  My fists clenched as anger burned deep inside of me. I was doing the right thing. I was leaving her for the right reasons. My parents were drug dealers. She couldn’t be with the drug dealer’s son. It was no wonder her mother didn’t want her with me. I was slum compared to her. She was the princess and I was the pauper.

  “What’s a matter, dude?” Blake, my bunkmate, asked me. Sweat had formed on every part of my body, and I was sure I had sweat right through my sheets.

  “Nothing, man, nothing at all,” I replied.

  In reality, I was on the verge of death, dying from the very heartache I had caused. My heart was breaking more and more every day. I was forcing myself to move on, to not look back, when all I wanted to do was run to her. Hold her and breathe her in one last time. I threw myself back onto the mattress and prayed the dreams away.

  I needed Tegan as much as she needed me.

  It wasn’t just teenage love. It wasn’t just a summer fling. It was real love, and I had ripped the chance of having it from both of us.

  My eyes popped open as a scraping noise sounded against the outside of the cabin. I glanced around the room, briefly lingering on the small window that was located in the loft before dropping my eyes to Tegan, who had now moved to her stomach.

  Her mouth was wide open, and I couldn’t help but smile smugly to myself. She was worked over, exceptionally well.

  Scrape, scrape.

  The noise sounded like a branch from a tree rubbing against the cabin wall from the force of the wind, but that couldn’t be possible. There weren’t any trees that close to the cabin and that alone sent a chill down my spine.

  I slipped from the bed and down the steps of the loft so I could check the cabin. That was the moment I made the biggest mistake. The second my feet hit the floor at the bottom of the loft steps, the door was kicked in. Two men entered with their guns already drawn, aimed at my head. A third man entered through the window, which was now partially opened.

  “You didn’t think we would come? You were wrong,” one of them stated rather than asking. His face was concealed behind a black mask, protecting his identity. Like hiding his coward ass face would stop me from killing him.

  Fear surged through me as realization dawned on me. I hadn’t grabbed my gun before I got out of the bed. How could I take out all of these men and save Tegan?

  “Drop to your knees and put your hands out. Slowly,” the one who talked first ordered.

  I sank to my knees on the floor but not before looking at the wooden chair next to me. He hesitated as he came up to me, looking me up and down. He turned his head briefly, holding his hand out to the man who he had come through the cabin door with. I watched as he handed him a pair of cuffs to secure me. My mind went into FBI mode as I plotted every scenario in my head. It was then I saw an opportunity and I took it.

  Slowly, I moved my hand down to the chair. The moment my fingers felt the smoothness of the wood underneath it, I grabbed it, wrapping my hand tightly around the leg of the chair. He turned around as I picked the chair up and as fast as I could, I hit him with it. The impact caused the wood to snap into pieces as I brought it down on him. The force of my hit dropped him like the pussy he was.

  I watched as he rolled over and one of the other men headed toward me. His gun was still drawn, and I noticed how limp his hold was on it. Another opportunity. I snaked my hand out to disarm him, and when I had my hand on the gun, struggling for a tighter grip, it was then that two more men came through the door.

  Blood rushed to my head, and I swore I felt my gash reopen as Tegan’s voice rang out around me.

  “DEVON!” There was pain laced in her voice, and as I turned to see what the fuck was going on, I realized the guy who came in through the window had slithered right past me and up into the loft. He had her by her hair, pulling her down the steps. Fire ran hot through me as I took in her face. It was a mask of terror, and if that didn’t cause anger to sear through me, then the knife pressed firmly to her throat would. One swipe of her throat, my life would end and my world would stop spinning. That’s all it would take.

  “Give up or I slit her throat right fucking here,” the man holding her yelled. His words were deafening to my ears. I had to obey. I had to drop to my knees and allow them to handcuff us. T
here was no other option.

  “Okay, okay…” I stopped fighting for the gun and dropped to my knees, putting my hands out once again. A pair of hands came up behind me, holding me in place so I couldn’t move while they placed the cuffs on.

  “Don’t—”

  “Don’t what?” one of them asked. His voice had a familiar tone to it, but I couldn’t recognize it with all the pounding going on in my head. The throbbing had returned and as I breathed deeply, I fought the hazy feeling.

  “Hurt her?” another asked as he walked over to her. She struggled in the other man’s hold, and I watched him grip her hair tighter pulling her head back so he could whisper in her ear.

  I revolted trying to stand up, only to be kicked back down. My knees hit the ground hard causing my teeth to clank together.

  “Just don’t hurt her,” I pleaded. I never pleaded for anything, and definitely not for anyone, but with her life on the line, I would fucking plead.

  “What a fine piece of ass you have here,” one of them said. With everything going on, I was losing track of how many of them were in here. I needed to get my shit together and fast.

  He gripped the edge of the shirt Tegan wore, and I saw red. I didn’t think about my wellbeing or the unconsciousness that threatened to take me under. Matter of fact, I didn’t think at all. I acted.

  I threw my head back hitting the asshole holding me in place right in the fucking nose. Blood squirted everywhere as my head pounded louder. Before I could make another move, they rushed me, kicking and hitting me until I couldn’t get off the ground. I forced myself to take the pain, to endure it all and stay awake.

  “Take him out to the fucking car. I want the girl to myself.” He smiled at me as bile rose in my throat.

  “No... no... do... don’t hurt her. Please, please don’t fucking hurt her! I will do whatever you want me to do. Just name it. Just—just don’t hurt her!” I screamed, the vibrations from my voice sending a sharp pain through my head as they pulled me up to my feet and toward the door.

  He laughed, his voice filling the room. “As long as she listens, no bad will come to her.” That’s all he said, and then they shoved me through the door and out to the three black SUV’s that awaited us. With a click of the key fob, the back of the SUV opened and I was thrown in.