The Arrow That Would Not Miss

by Matt Musson

  The big glider flew directly out from the ridge over the valley below. After gliding straight for a couple of minutes, Bog put the aircraft into a slow turn to the left, vectoring it towards Memorial Point.

  Bogdon dove Gull-ible slightly and we could see him pick up speed as he moved toward the ground. When the glider was a few hundred feet directly above the old marble monument to the Heroes of the Confederacy, Bog turned the aircraft into the wind.

  Gull-ible slowed for a minute and it looked like he might stall and crash. But Bog switched on the air jet and the big bird powered forward. Gull-ible quickly soared over the old marble monument to the Heroes of the Union, and then whipped around for home.

  I’ll admit from a distance, the sailplane really did look like the world’s largest Buzzard.

  Steadily gaining altitude, Gull-ible flew straight for the mine. Bog shut off the jet and the aircraft coasted in softly, and touched down safely on our ledge.

  It took less than five minutes to disassemble the glider. Then, we packed up the wings, the tail, the fuselage and all the extra pieces and headed home. We had plans to meet Freddie and Shad at Darby’s Ice Cream Stand for a post flight debriefing. And, we could hardly wait to get back to town and find out if Gull-ible had made an impression.

  ***********

  When we met up in Darby’s an hour later, the place was buzzing. Everyone in town was talking about the giant bird that was spotted over Memorial Point. Shad and Freddie gave us a quick rundown of Gull-ible’s first encounter with the ‘Friends of Feathers’.

  The birders were searching for a red crested titmouse over near the monument to Confederate Heroes when a object passed directly overhead casting a tremendous shadow. When the group looked up and spotted the enormous thunderbird bedlam erupted.

  The ‘Friends of Feathers’ had never encountered such a colossal ‘feathered friend’ before and they panicked.

  Some began jumping and pointing. Some grabbed their binoculars. Some grabbed their birding field guides. Some became hysterical and dived for cover.

  One old woman hyperventilated and had to be helped to a bench before she passed out. But, her quick thinking granddaughter pulled out a cell phone and snapped a blurry picture of Gull-ible as he soared out of sight.

  Granite Falls’ most elite group of bird enthusiast was completely taken in by our man-made creature. Not one of the friends questioned the origin of the giant bird. In fact, Miss Tilley Transoo announced that she was going make a formal written report to the National Audubon Society and to National Geographic.

  We were feeling pretty smug about our little hoax when we left Darby’s and went home for dinner.

  ************

  Chapter Thirteen – Instant Heroes

  The next day was Monday. And as we walked into school that morning there was no question that Bogdon Peabody was the ‘Man of the Hour’. He moved down the halls to his locker like he was leading a parade. Boys slapped him on the back and girls waved and smiled.

  Bogdon was vindicated.

  Then, as the day wore on, various school officials went out of their way to drop by Bogdon’s classes. Every single one of them mentioned that they of course, had always believed Bogdon’s story of the thunderbird.

  Mrs. Knavely said nothing. However, when she turned back his grammar homework from the previous week, Mrs. Knavely wrote ‘Very Good’ next to Bog’s number grade of 98. This was as close as Mrs. Knavely would ever bring herself to an apology.

  After school that afternoon we assembled at the primary club house and had a good laugh reading the Granite Falls Gazette out loud. There on page two, below the fold, was the grainy cell phone picture with the caption: BIG BIRD SIGHTED AT LOCAL PARK. The photo was followed by two columns of eyewitness reports.

  The reporter quoted Miss Tilley saying she had often seen large birds gliding around Buckner’s Knob but she had been reluctant to report them. However, this sighting was made by the entire ‘Friends of Feathers’ organization and backed up with photographic evidence. She now felt confident enough to tell the world of Granite Fall’s great black bird.

  In addition to the newspaper retelling, Freddie and Shad kept repeating the story of Gull-ible’s flight over Memorial Point. With each retelling, their descriptions of the crowd reaction were more and more exaggerated and we laughed harder and harder. Finally, we were sprawled across the tree house floor holding our sides, until Shad let one go.

  And, let me tell you, Shad can clear a room out with the best of them!

  Of course, he tried to blame Rottweiler. But, no one believed him, least of all, the Parrot himself.

  Rottweiler kept darting around the tree house screeching, “The Smeller is the Fellar. The Smeller is the Fellar,” over and over.

  We finally climbed down from the tree house in search of fresh air. The meeting broke up and we headed home.

  The next day was Tuesday. And, it started out just like every other Tuesday in the sleepy little town of Granite Falls – at least until I woke up.

  I remember the alarm going off and the radio trying to rouse me earlier than I wanted to be roused. For a few seconds I laid there in bed, face down in the pillow, until the national news report began to sink into my sluggish brain.

  “Renowned Bird Expert, Dr. Trilley Transtew, reported that the giant bird, twice the size of a California condor, flew dangerously close. One witness was quoted as saying, ‘He was looking for something to eat – and he was definitely looking in our direction.’”

  “However, Granite Falls Officials say they don’t believe the giant creature poses any immediate threat to Public Safety.”

  I bolted upright in bed. I was wide awake now!

  I had just finished brushing my teeth when I received a text from Toby:”Check the Net”. I switched on my PC and pulled on my school clothes while it booted up. By the time I had my sneakers laced I was online. And it didn’t take long to see our impact.

  Websites for Yahoo, MSN, and USA TODAY all featured that cell phone photo prominently. There were captions like ‘Super Eagle’, ‘Jumbo Buzzard’ and ‘Mega Condor’.

  Then I checked the Drudge Report. The cell phone picture was at the top of the page with the caption ‘Monster Bird Attacks Campers at National Park’.

  I remember wondering right then and there if our practical joke had not gotten just a wee bit out of hand.

  By that afternoon radio and TV reporters were everywhere. And the media blitz turned out to be more than we bargained for. Although, at first it was kind of fun.

  Freddie and Shad were both interviewed for the Animal Channel. And, Bogdon was getting calls from all over the country – from Radio Disc Jockeys, Bird Watching Clubs and several people wanting to know if he had ever considered selling Herbalife.

  And the whole town was hopping.

  Everywhere people were scanning the skies. Every store in town was sold out of binoculars. Most reported a run on cameras and film and videotape as well. There was an air of expectation. Crowds were impatiently waiting, praying and even demanding to see the Giant Bird of Granite Falls.

  And, Ranger Company A was not about to let those people down.

  ************

  Chapter Fourteen – Air Raid: Granite Falls

  It was Friday evening when Gull-ible made his next appearance. Once again, we waited until conditions were just right. The light was fading and the air was still. The last rays of the setting sun were shining dark golden on a few wispy purple clouds to the west.

  We knew there were a half dozen professional photographers set up close to Buckner’s Knob. And, we did not think that Gull-ible could stand the scrutiny of all those giant telephoto lenses and high definition cameras. So this time, we decided to launch him from Blackberry hill just west of town.

  Thor’s Grandfather’s farm covers most of the backside of Blackberry Hill. So, we snuck Gull-ible there in pieces and assembled hi
m in an old barn on the property. After a preflight check of the electronics and a test firing of the air jet, Thor, Charlie and I lifted the big glider over our heads. Then, together we ran down the grassy backside of Blackberry Hill until Gull-ible sailed out of our hands and into the sky.

  Bogdon stood on top of the hill wearing special hands free binocular glasses and holding the RC control box. He fired the jet engine and the glider quickly gained altitude. Bog brought Gull-ible around and pointed him due east for Granite Falls.

  Toby, Shad and Freddie were set up in a command post atop the old Hampton Arcade building that overlooked the East Side of town square. They had their own RC control box, so we could transfer command of the bird when Bogdon’s signal started to weaken.

  The launch team scrambled to the top of the hill, where we manned a couple of telescopes. From there we followed Gull-ible’s progress.

  I called Toby over the Walkie Talkie channel.

  “Base to Opsite 2. Base to Opsite 2. The package is heading your way.”

  “Roger that base,” I heard Toby reply. “I am reading you five by five and I confirm that the package is on its way.”

  I guess I should mention that over the last couple of days we had given Gull-ible a few minor upgrades that we looked forward to trying out. We added some red LED lights for eyes that we could switch on and off so it looked like the giant bird was blinking. We also, added a compact loud speaker. When Bogdon hit a button, a greatly amplified recording of a Rottweiler squawk was broadcast across the sky.

  Shad really wanted to add a remote control bird poop option where a touch of a button would result in an enormous deposit of white goo on observers below. Unfortunately, he and Freddie could never come up with a realistic poop substitute – so the idea was scrapped.

  “Opsite 2 to Base. Opsite 2 to Base. The package is in sight. We are now taking control.”

  Until then, it had been a quiet evening in Granite Falls. A few after dinner strollers were walking the square. Some citizens were lined up at the Custard King for a frozen treat. Several unmanned news vans surrounded the courthouse, while the reporters were in Lenoir twenty miles north, enjoying fancy expense account dinners.

  The guys at Opsite 2 told us later that Gull-ible came in like a stealth fighter. Flying out of the setting sun, no one spotted him until he just blocks from the center of town. And, since the glider made almost no noise, it wasn’t until Toby hit the squawker that anyone besides us realized the giant creature was back.

  “SQRAAWWKKK!”

  Gull-ible screeched much louder than we anticipated. And, he got the attention of everyone in earshot.

  It probably did not take the glider more than a minute to sail the final two blocks into the square, make a tight circle and head toward the sunset. But, from our perch up on Blackberry Hill we could see pandemonium spreading across the town like engulfing flood waters. What had been a quiet evening in Granite Falls was quickly turning into a free for all.

  At first, the pedestrians turned and put their hands to their eyes to shade the glare of sunset. Then their arms would go outstretched as they pointed out the approaching bird to their companions. About that time Toby must have hit the squawker again because people suddenly went running for cover as the red-eyed monster soared in close over head.

  The Custard King looked like a frozen custard battle zone. Startled patrons launched cones and cups into the air and with regularity the ice cream ended up on innocent bystanders. The cones that did not land in someone’s hair came down on the sidewalk, where people scrambling for safety hit melting custard globs and went sliding.

  Gull-ible was gone as quickly as he appeared which was our plan from the beginning. And, as the giant bird screeched off into the darkening sky, the panic drained out of our little town. But he left behind a stunned populace sporting a variety of minor scrapes and strains.

  None of the professional photographers got any pictures. There were a couple more grainy cell phone photos and one or two amateur tail shots of the big bird flying off. Most of these showed only a black blob-like shadow heading west. But, there was no question that the giant thunderbird had paid Granite Falls another visit.

  Over a hundred eye witnesses reported the giant black creature arriving with burning red eyes and a frightening call. There was speculation that he might be angry that so many people had been disturbing his nesting area up on Buckner’s Knob. A bird expert from the State University suggested that it could even be mating season and that the creature was calling for a female.

  ************

  Chapter Fifteen – Bird Chaser from Way out West

  Following his second appearance, Gull-ible was back on front pages across the country. And, for the next few days, people poured into Granite Falls from all over the place. And, I am not just talking about birdwatchers and news reporters. There were all kinds of people coming into town. Suddenly, we had a carnival on our hands.

  There were T-shirt vendors on every street corner, all hawking the same white shirts with the same cell phone picture on the front. Plus, food merchants swarmed in to sell all kinds of fair food, including two separate Funnel Cake trailers set up on opposite ends of Main Street. One sold Condor Cakes and the other offered Giant Eagle Edibles.

  Of course, the local folk were not going to pass up a chance for a piece of the big bird pie. The VFW post set up a BAR-BQ pit in the corner of the town square where they sold Monster Bird Legs (actually turkey).

  There was even a TV preacher who came in and set up a revival tent in a vacant lot on the edge town. He was holding nightly services preaching that the big bird was a sign from God that the end was near.

  For Company A of the Granite Falls Rangers – things could not have worked out any better. We were having the time of our lives.

  **********

  On Saturday morning the entire gang was wandering around town square. Shad was consuming his third funnel cake and Bogdon was autographing t-shirts for the crowd. Charlie had on a ‘condor cap’; a baseball cap with a stuffed turkey on top that someone had spray painted black. If you squeezed the bill, battery powered eyes blinked and glowed.

  We were enjoying the effects of our little charade and basking in the festive atmosphere, when we noticed a dusty tan colored pickup truck headed up Main Street. It was capped by a camper shell with long cracks in the fiberglass that were streaked with rust. The yellow and red license plate was covered with equal parts of dust and corrosion but we could still make out the tag line ‘New Mexico – Land of Enchantment’.

  As if on cue, a parking spot opened up in front of us on the east side of town square. And, the pickup wasted no time in pulling up and backing in.

  Now let me point out, there are plenty of Eastern Cherokee, Occaneechi and Lumbee Indians living in our part of the state. Grandpa Gus claims that my own great, great, great grandmother hailed from the wild sweet potato band of the Cherokee Nation and married into our family to escape the ‘Trail of Tears’. So, Native Americans are common in Granite Falls. They don’t usually attract any special attention.

  But somehow this visitor from out West was different.

  As he stepped out of the cab, we saw he was dressed in a long sleeved blue work shirt, jeans and cowboy boots. He had obviously traveled far – but he was anything but worn. His western boots shined. His work shirt was starched and crisp with an embroidered Thunderbird above the pocket. His jeans were ironed with a knife edged crease right down the front leg.

  He was tall, with long dark hair that was swept back in a pony tail with a beaded leather tieback. He had large rounded brown eyes and a sharp curved nose. He was clean shaven and had a strong jaw with a cleft in the center. He was not young, but neither was he old. And, when he smiled his teeth shone brightly and his eyes sparkled.

  He was like a fashion model Indian.

  Without hesitation, he walked right down the sidewalk towards us. As he a
pproached he stuck out his hand to Bogdon.

  “Hello. Aren’t you that Peabody fellow? The one who first spotted the giant bird? I’ve come a long way to meet you. My name is Rocky Many-Feathers. Most people just call me Roc.”

  Bogdon shook the big Indian’s hand.

  “I’m Bogdon Peabody and these are my friends: Charlie, Thor, Toby, Shad, Freddie and Jeep.”

  Roc shook all our hands one at a time. He got to me last and shook my hand. Then he abruptly crooked his head.

  “Jeep?”

  “That's me,” I replied smiling.

  Roc's smile disappeared and he was suddenly very deliberate. ”Jeep, when the moon is full, does the Lynx ever come to visit you?”

  I almost swallowed my chewing gum. I coughed and choked and finally managed to spit out, “Sometimes.”

  Roc nodded in a purposeful manner. Then, his smile returned, and he began the story of how he ended up in Granite Falls.

  Although Roc was from New Mexico, he had in fact just come from Wisconsin where he had been visiting a white buffalo calf recently born there. The white buffalo is sacred to Native Americans and is a mighty omen of things to come. Roc was finishing a three day circle fast near Janesville, when he heard about the giant bird sighting in Granite Falls. He immediately packed up his pickup truck and headed our way.

  Roc told us he had spent years tracking giant bird sightings all the way across North America. He had traveled to the Oregon, Wyoming, Pennsylvania and even Alaska during his quest.

  Sometimes he arrived to find that there was a simple explanation for the sighting. Either an eagle or even a condor had traveled outside of its normal range and caused the report.

  Other times, the sightings were clearly bigger than an Eagle. And, even bigger than a Condor. Roc believed it was the creature his people called Wakinyan. To the rest of the world it was better known as the Thunderbird.