The Saga of Tanya the Evil, Vol. 4: Dabit Deus His Quoque Finem

by Carlo Zen

  Guess we know what to do. Tanya nods as she grasps the intent of the order.

  “Transition into the wartime response plan!”

  As Weiss receives reports conveyed in frantic shouts over the wireless, Tanya’s attention is captured by the scene unfolding in front of her.

  From here, she can see that the railway guns are slowly being loaded with ammunition. Once they’re ready, more rounds fly toward the Empire with a roar.

  War against the Reds.

  Combat against the Reds.

  A struggle for survival against the Reds.

  Tanya joins up with the troops she had standing by to the rear so fast it embodies the words on the double.

  “All units, prepare to attack!”

  In the space of a breath, the arrangements to mobilize the unit happen naturally, and the troops are ready. I know all too well what must be done.

  “It’s likely that the Federation Army is already engaged with the Eastern Army Group on the border. Therefore, we are abandoning our plan to withdraw! Transition into attacking maneuvers—now!”

  I want to go home, but unless I take care of this assignment, I can’t be free. At the very least, we have to cause some chaos and secure our escape route. We’re currently deep in enemy territory on a mission. We may not like it, but pulling back means fighting through all the Reds attacking the Empire.

  “We’re going in to deal with the enemy reinforcements. We’ll do what we can for now, since it’ll help us understand the situation. First let’s blow up the stockpiles! Assume strike formation!”

  In order to avoid a desperate withdrawal, we can’t just leave; we have to wreak some degree of havoc. Well, it’s undeniable that the chance to blast Commies makes Tanya more inclined to wage war.

  But, Tanya abruptly analyzes her own thoughts, it’s not as if this is my fault.

  …I’m a pacifist, after all. It’s simply that I can’t accept looking up at the same sky as a bunch of Commies. I can’t stand it when guys who’ve never set foot on a factory floor try to argue about economics. Sure, I heard they monkeyed around in a porcelain factory, but still.

  Well, Commie theorists can’t even read the factory inspection team reports, so what can you expect…?

  That’s the type we’re up against. As a disciple of capitalism and a wholesome citizen who loves rightfully adored freedom and liberty, I’ll do what I must. The NRA aren’t the only ones who take up arms.

  “““Yes, ma’am!”””

  “Company commanders, seize control of your attack route. All units, after this raid, follow the instructions from your company commanders on how to engage.”

  For the moment, the operation is a deep raid. This is a method the battalion has used over and over again from the Rhine to the sandy southern continent. The company commanders are well versed in it.

  Ideology will triumph? Ha, we’ll crush that offensive delusion with physics and providence.

  “I have one bit of good news. We’re currently not picking up any Federation mages,” Tanya adds. Despite the signs of a large-scale offensive, no mages have been detected. She’s so used to the presence of mages on the battlefield that she finds this strange. But mages are a pain if you get on their bad side, so their absence is fortunate.

  As long as there isn’t some quirk to Federation mage doctrine, we can assume this means there aren’t any.

  “But don’t drop your guard. Always be on the lookout for enemy reinforcements.”

  The Federation has soldiers growing on trees. Who knows where they come from? I can’t understand how they can drive their own fellow countrymen so hard.

  Honestly, even Tanya doesn’t really want to understand, either.

  “Attention all units. As you can see, the Federation has unequivocally targeted the fatherland. How can they be serious? It’s absurd, really.”

  All right, this is where I speak from the heart to my anti-Commie freedom fighters.

  “What did the Reich do to them? The answer is simple. We didn’t do a thing. Not a thing, my brothers.”

  The Empire wasn’t hoping for a war that would require invasion. It didn’t have the slightest intention of coming to blows with the Federation. But if there are anachronistic anti-intellectuals who would attack the peaceful Empire…coexistence is impossible.

  They’re a threat that must be eliminated for the security of the human race.

  “If we allowed the Communists to go unchecked by not doing anything to the Federation scum, then the responsibility is probably ours. Troops, we’ve got to settle this here and now.”

  This is the price for slacking on garbage disposal. We’ve got to beat back the Commies for the relative freedom of the Empire and the rest of the humane world. That is more than enough reason for war.

  “We’re fighting for our fatherland. No, the very fate of the world hangs on this conflict! Rouse yourselves to battle! Be brave!”

  If we don’t do this, the world will be forced to go along with a century of experimentation on human beings. Normal humans can’t physiologically process the poison known as Communism—it’s as deadly as potassium cyanide.

  Tomorrow anyone who is not achlorhydric will perish en masse. If a tragedy is avoidable, I want to avoid it.

  “Rouse yourselves to battle, troops! Rise up!”

  The future of the free world depends on you.

  “Take up your rifles! Grab your orbs!”

  Guns don’t shoot people.

  People shoot guns.

  People shoot Commies with guns.

  “Begin maneuvers!”

  Tanya urges her soldiers to defend freedom, and in response they charge forward.

  The 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion led by Major von Degurechaff has officially shifted from their original reconnaissance mission to assault.

  Naturally, they’re equipped for recon, so they don’t have the correct gear for assaulting a base. Even for mages, with their high degree of versatility, a frontal attack on the staging area would usually be difficult.

  Usually…

  “…Well, railway guns make splendid targets.” Tanya chuckles to herself.

  Artillery positions have no lack of combustibles. You can practically count on a powder magazine or some other explosive warehouse to be around.

  And the Federation Army artillery positions are piling up exposed ammunition all over—no safety management at all. Well, Communists like to ignore regulations, so this mistake is very much in character. As a result, we can detonate their expensive railway guns, lined up like goose necks on the chopping block, with an easy chain reaction.

  Wonderful. Tanya grins and shouts, “Prepare to strike! We’re advancing, then pulling a hit-and-run!”

  “Understood!”

  “Ready explosion formulas! We charge once they’re ready!”

  Just a single explosion formula.

  Normally, if it takes out a pillbox, that’s great. But if there are secondary explosions? Now we’re talking. Even just starting a fire can blow a vast amount of supplies in an instant.

  “Big, fragile, highly flammable. The perfect target.”

  “Without a doubt. This reminds me of how the Dacian Army assisted us with our anti-surface attack training.”

  “…I made such an embarrassing error back there.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Captain Weiss. The only one who would laugh at you for following the textbook to the letter is Lieutenant Serebryakov over there.”

  Ignoring the hell unfolding below them, Tanya and her vice commander, Weiss, fly leisurely along, quite pleased.

  Apart from the odd stray shot, there is virtually no aerial interception.

  The battalion must be completely used to anti-surface strike missions by now. In a magnificent display of skill, Serebryakov routs one unit while Grantz efficiently targets another that managed to stand its ground.

  Both the division of labor and the competence of the raid can be described as admirable. The 203rd Aerial Mage Battalion
was both intensely screened and trained, but their baptism through live combat has made them even more elite. Compared to their time in the Dacian War, the troops are markedly more disciplined and efficient.

  Of course, just like in Dacia, lack of skill on the enemy side is a big help.

  We don’t have any explosives that can be used for anti-surface strikes. Still, if we can land a shot in there somewhere, the shells laid out along the line of railway guns will explode.

  And our aim is those flimsy railway guns. This really is, as Weiss noted, the perfect target.

  “Man, and I can’t believe their reinforcements are all infantry.”

  We had been convinced Federation mages would be called up to defend the staging area, but our expectations have been dashed. No matter how much we terrorize them, the only ones who come running to intercept us are foot soldiers. Tanya had been expecting a fierce counterattack, so the disappointment is actually quite intense.

  It’s like going into the spring labor offensive with a recommendation for a round of layoffs and having it go through with no resistance. It doesn’t get much more unexpected than that.

  “Lieutenant Grantz’s company has a suggestion, Major. They’d like to perform another strike to increase our gains.”

  Tanya had told everyone not to spread out too much so they would be able to retreat while the rear guard held off the enemy if substantial enemy reinforcements showed up.

  But under these circumstances, it might not be a bad idea to push for more. From her bird’s-eye view, she can see that they missed some pockets of resistance here and there.

  “Let’s do that, then. It seems this is turning into less of an ambush and more of a maneuver battle.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Right away.”

  Tanya’s not about to let the enemy reestablish organized resistance. In that sense, it’s best to hit hard when the battle is going favorably. She decides to accept the suggestion and promptly calls for a second attack run.

  Seriously, though, where are the enemy mages? Tanya wonders as she watches her troops who were on standby in the sky break from their previous withdrawal formation and join in on the mop-up attacks. It’s common sense that a logistical facility like this depot would be raided.

  Whether the enemy is competent or not, any good army should still be thinking about defense. A unit of mage reinforcements, skilled or not, should be sent as a matter of course.

  Conduct a probing anti-surface strike and deal with the reinforcements who show up without realizing what they’re in for. That was the plan, and she figures it wasn’t a mistake to have her troops lie in wait.

  But no one’s seen any enemy air units yet, much less mages. I expected they’d at least send units in piecemeal, ignoring the concept of efficiency entirely, but what is this lack of response?

  It’s quite difficult to understand the workings of the world in this age.

  “Major, there’s an urgent message from HQ.”

  “We’re connected? Read it.”

  For now, she decides to switch gears to focus on the directions they were finally able to get from headquarters.

  “Yes, ma’am. It’s an order to support the eastern armies. The details are up to you.”

  The message handed to me contains the usual flight orders with permission to act freely. I’m glad the brass are so good at managing their subordinates. If I had a boss like Tsugene or Full-of-shit-guchi,6 I’d completely lose the will to fight and hightail it out of here.

  Ah, it’s so, so great to have General von Zettour as my superior. If I stick with him, given the current state of internal faction dynamics, I’m guaranteed to advance. What a wonderful connection to have. He’s very valuable in terms of social capital.

  “What’s the situation? I want to know what the front lines are like.”

  This is all for that wonderful stakeholder. As a rational individual of the modern world, it’s clear that my destiny is to do a thorough, sincere job. Trust and sincerity are the basic business practices of modern times. That said, excessive favoritism and collusion will only afflict the organization with a contemptible case of arteriosclerosis, of course.

  …Either way, the concept is too difficult for Commies with no mind for efficiency to comprehend.

  When their Commie brains think about production, distribution is completely absent from their ideas. Well, they can go ahead and make a pile of worthless products only to let them rot.

  For our part, all we have to do is follow the market. Apparently, Adam Smith was religious—that bit about the invisible hand of God is pretty awkward for me. It must be the invisible hand of the market.

  Oh, thinking is so fun. But the only people who really get to immerse themselves in it are academics.

  Work awaits. Ah, you boorish Commie bastards.

  “Our soldiers are putting up a good fight, but it seems our strength is a bit on the low side.”

  “Okay, let’s switch gears and fight a delaying battle while we wait for the Great Army to arrive.”

  We’ve been ordered to provide support to friendly armies in the region. What we do depends on their status. In this instance, delaying the enemy probably makes the most sense.

  In other words, we’re helping to buy time, so all we have to do is bully the Commies. If it’s only a spot of teasing, then I don’t have to take any dangerous risks.

  At the same time, I get to enjoy the satisfaction of whacking some Commies. My work here has a sense of purpose.

  “Are you sure? I think we’re more in our element fighting on the move as we have been so far.”

  Weiss had given the order to Grantz’s company to transition into pursuit and joined the conversation at some point. His suggestion is certainly tempting.

  The Federation’s territory is vast. And on top of that, we’re fighting the notoriously inefficient Commies. It’s true that guerrilla tactics are a valid option against a rigidly organized opponent.

  The theater of operations here is much larger than when we fought on the Rhine, so the enemy must be spread more thinly. The circumstances are too perfect. Given the current situation, it’d be more of a pain to approach the main lines and be incorporated into a friendly unit.

  I love whacking Commies, but I’m not at all keen on Commies whacking me.

  “Either way, if you compare it to breaking through the enemy’s main lines, doesn’t taking a detour seem better?”

  We’ll support the eastern armies, but only if we’re safe. There’s no way I’d prioritize them over myself.

  Liberty. It’s obvious that liberty must be prioritized above everything else.

  In other words, we have no obligation to join the front lines, which are most certainly embroiled in a heavy firefight.

  Luckily, we also have a just cause, so we’ll pursue safety to the extent possible.

  “We’ll fly, then?”

  “Of course. But instead of stealthily sneaking around, let’s be a distraction.”

  If we divert enemy forces, that’ll satisfy the order from home to support the delaying battle. And it’ll feel so good to whack Commies with some style. No limits in terms of ROE, either.

  Naturally, we’ll have no choice but to attack urban areas as well. After all, Commies are always talking about general attacks by all citizens or whatnot.

  I’m sure it’s beyond practicing levy en masse; it’s more like they believe everyone’s a soldier. After all, these are the type of people to launch a major offensive against agriculture. What kind of farmer would attack farming?

  I’m sure they’re doing something inefficient like mobilizing their entire population to blow up an agricultural base. In a book on the topic, I read that the food commissar or whoever is basically just the commander of a looting unit. And I know the procurement units or whatever they’re called have people from cities and farming villages in them.

  In other words, this should be just like taking on guerrilla units.

  Logically, all Communists are combata
nts. Yep, okay, I guess I should try something showy now. I absolutely do not want to use the Elinium Type 95, but considering how useful it would be for blowing up Commies, I might be able to stand it.

  …But if I’m going to do that, then I want to demolish something symbolic.

  Idol worship or the cult of personality or whatever it may be, I’ll smash one of those bronze statues Commies love so much and laugh at their inefficiency. I wonder where would be good. Maybe Josefgrad.

  Nah, if I’m going to do this, nailing the capital will be most effective. This goes without saying, but that’s the capital of a country we’re at war with. Some might think the place would be heavily guarded, but that would only show that they’re amateurs.

  Commie air defense is full of holes—more like a dysfunctional colander. Pilots being too drunk to take off and fly interception missions is a daily occurrence. Or they scramble but end up chasing around hallucinations.

  On the rare occasion they down something, it’s a civilian aircraft or a careless scout… If we’re merely serving as a distraction, we can pull out if they ever start actually intercepting us.

  “Let’s pretend we’re going to attack the capital.”

  “A raid on the capital? I don’t think this will go the way it did in Dacia… Surely the Federation has tighter defenses. They probably even have a proper warning system. I feel like there are too many things to worry about if we go in without intelligence.”

  She didn’t expect the faces of her subordinates to get so nervous the moment she voiced their objective. It can’t be true, but she has the sneaking, uncomfortable feeling that they think she’s incapable of judging what is and isn’t achievable.

  On the other hand, she can understand how Weiss’s “worries” are based on commonsense misunderstandings. Well, it can’t be helped—they’re rational, modern individuals, she concludes.

  Certainly, someone with common sense would decide the capital must be well protected. Anyone would come to that conclusion.

  But our opponents are Commies.

  “Don’t worry. Everyone knows the Commies have no air defense.”

  “The intelligence we received estimates fairly formidable defenses…”

  The Red Army is famous for its legendary air defense. A civilian Cessna even casually landed at Red Square International Airport once.