by Jaye Cox
"I was thinking, when I saw Phillip last, he mentioned that he thinks maybe we should go see him together," she says.
"If that’s what you want, I will do anything to make things right again."
"I believe you, but it isn't that simple, there were so many lies and I don’t want to put myself in a situation to get hurt again," she says.
"How about we take it one day at a time and start as friends. Hi, I’m Rayne," I say sticking my hand out for her to shake.
"I can do friends. Hi Rayne, I’m Isabella," she replies, shaking my hand.
"I think I should tell you though before you agree to be my friend, I accidentally knocked some chick up and I’m going to be a dad."
"Funny, some idiot knocked me up too,” she says.
“So I wanted to explain some things about that night, I promise I take full responsibility for what I did” she doesn’t say anything. I can tell she is upset but I need to tell her why I’ve done the things I have. So as I cook I explain to her my past in detail; from the things my father did and how I ended up doing it as well; to how I met Tommy. I tell her everything
“How did everyone else get involved in this whole mess?” she asks. “Sam was supposed to come on as my girlfriend, and we knew that wouldn’t work with how Razor is and we didn’t want to put too many cops in one band, Razor would have caught on straight away. So I had an idea and I knew Sam would hate it since her and Morris had been broken up for a while, I knew Morris and Dex could take care of themselves. So I ran an idea past Sam that I bring them, we already played together and had for a few years so the cover that we were a band would actually work”
“I bet Sam loved that”
“In true Sam fashion she had a meltdown, after I explained why I needed Morris and Dex she was on board. It was supposed to be just Morris and Dex, but Romeo had ambushed us one day because he thought we were having second thoughts about him being in the band, I didn’t think he would have wanted to help, you know Romeo and he is accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle”
“Wow, I am not going to let him live that down, that he had to slum it with us common folk.”
I keep explaining everything that happened and I get to that night and I am so nervous, I have just wanted to pretend it never happened.
“That night, I had moved the bust forward, I wanted to tell you everything the next day, I cannot tell you how fucking sorry I am you had to see that, that I treated you that way.”
“Yeah, me too” she says now the tears come and I feel like shit.
“How about we talk about it some more when we go see Phillip, maybe it will be easier to hear when you have time to deal with what I have just told you?”
“I’m sorry.” she says.
“For what? You have never done anything wrong, it was all me and my sick need for revenge. I wish I could take it all back.”
“I don’t, if there was no revenge then I would never of met you, and if that night didn’t happen, I never would have met Ty and we wouldn’t be so close, and the baby...”
We eat pancakes and talk and laugh, - it’s nice. I tell her she is officially invited to Sunday lunches, and she tells me about the things her father said. I’m shocked, and I ’m sure we will never be best buddies, but it’s a start. We talk about the baby and she comes up with some horrible names. I tell her our baby needs a kickass name, since we will be kickass parents.
Then she starts crying. "What’s wrong?" I ask.
"What if I’m a bad mum, I don't know what to do with kids and I have never been around babies before? How will I know if it’s hungry or tired, I don’t even know how to change a nappy?" she cries.
"Hey - we will learn. I'm sure they would have some kind of new parents’ class we can go to, and you’ll be an awesome mum. I saw the way your face changed when you saw our blob’s heartbeat. It was a look of pure love, which only a mum could have for something that looks like a white blob," I say. That makes her cry more and she thinks I won't love our blob. I'm so not prepared for pregnancy and hormones, and I have another seven and a bit more months to go. I tell her I will love our blob no matter what, and that seems to stop the crying.
"Have I told you I don't like the haircut? It’s weird," she points out.
"It has to be shorter for work - I’m sorry, Tiny Dancer. I must say, it was nice to have my hair back for a while," I admit.
She tells me to text her my roster so she can book an appointment to see Phillip. I don't tell her I would rather watch grass grow than talk to a stranger about our problems, but I promised I would do whatever it takes to make it up to her and I will, even if it’s torture.
Whilst she is in the bathroom, I check in with Ty.
"Hey bro, any luck?" I ask
"I was just about to message you. I’m in, I couldn’t crack his password, but I hacked his email and changed his password, and deleted all evidence. I changed it too imanidiot4eva," he chuckles.
"And you think he is the idiot?"
"Hey. I got you what you wanted, didn't I? Lucky I knew all his secret questions since I set it up," he says.
"Thanks Ty, I will text Sam with the details. I owe you one."
"Just don't be a douche and hurt Bells again, because she and her father have been good to me and I won't fuck that up or let you fuck it up either," he warns me.
"I'm glad she has you, Ty," I admit.
"I’m glad I have her too," he says.
I walk out of Ty’s room as she comes out of the bathroom. I love her more than anything in this world and I’m still in shock that I’m going to be a dad.
"I don’t think the baby likes your pancakes," she says
"Hey. Blame Tommy! He said that’s how I should make them."
“Are you two friends again?”
“I don’t know if we ever will be again, I know he is just tolerating me for you and he won’t do anything to upset you.” We spend a few more hours just hanging out. I sent a text to Sam and she let me know Razor was at home and we freaked out for nothing, which is a relief; the sooner he goes to court the better. Hopefully, doing some hard time will help him change, but some people you just can't help.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
We decide that besides our families, we would not tell anyone about the pregnancy until twelve weeks. The people that already know have gone crazy, with Tommy and Ty always reminding me what I should and shouldn't eat, the upside of that is they always make me food. I’m still been working at Paulie’s during the day, so we told him about the baby because Rayne didn't want me doing any heavy lifting, to which Paulie said he didn't want me working the busy times. Rayne’s mum has gone crazy and ordered hand crafted cots and nursery furniture for my house and hers, and she keeps bugging us on whether we will be living together when the baby comes. Rayne keeps telling her we’re taking it one day at a time and not rushing things, and it has been nice with no pressure or expectations. We’re getting to know each other all over again; he takes me on dates and we do movie night at his place once a week. We decided to hold off on having any sexual contact for now because sex brings more feelings to the table and makes people’s judgment clouded. If you can't tell, that was mainly Phillip’s idea and it’s hard, because ever since I found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago I’ve been so horny it’s ridiculous, especially every time Rayne walks in the room. Rayne has been such a gentleman, even when I have a pregnancy mood as all the guys are calling them, he is sweet and tries to calm me down. It’s hard to believe he is still the same man I met nearly six months ago. It makes my head spin. So much has happened in such a short period of time. It’s funny how when you fall head over heels in love time doesn't matter. I never intended on things happening so fast, but looking back I don’t think I would change any of it if I could. So many bad things happened, but so much good came from it, I'm actually excited to see where things go from here. Today is the day we have our twelve-week ultrasound and I’m both nervous and excited. Rayne’s mum found a place that records the
whole thing and takes some pictures too. She is holding dinner tonight and has made calls to all our close friends to tell them they had to come. No one says no to her - it’s kind of scary how she has a way of making people do what she wants. I have to meet Rayne in an hour as he gets to have a break to come to the ultrasound, and it’s all getting real now. We also had our first antenatal appointment last week, which was more just to fill out forms. Rayne made sure he had us booked in all the classes he could, and asked a million and one questions; compliments of Ty who gave him a list. Yes he wrote a checklist of questions to ask. The midwife filled out the gaps in the notes he had left for answers, while Rayne and I filled out our family histories and all the other forms. I got a free bounty bag with loads of pamphlets to read.
When I got home I told Ty I was going to kill him if he gave us any more questions and if he wanted to know answers to use Google from now on. If this is how he is now I’d hate to think how he will be when the baby comes. I have to start drinking a litre of water 2 hours before my ultrasound and then hold it, so by the time I walk into the ultrasound place I’ll be about to pee my pants. I see a few other women give me looks of sympathy and I let reception know I’m here before taking a seat. Rayne walks in wearing his police uniform, and there is nothing hotter than a man in uniform, except for a man in uniform who has promised to wait until we work things out to have sex. His face lights up like a little kid in a lolly shop when he spots me sitting in the corner, he comes over and takes a seat next to me.
"I need to pee really badly," I complain
"So I can't talk about running water?" he teases.
"I swear I will pee all over you if you don’t put a sock in it."
"Tiny Dancer, that’s a bit too kinky - even for me," he says.
"You're impossible,” I tell him.
"Isabella Preston!" the sonographer calls out.
"Oh, thank God," I say getting up. Rayne follows behind us and I can hear him laughing to himself.
"Lie on the bed, and roll the top of your pants down and lift your shirt up for me," she instructs me. She then tucks a sheet of paper towel over the top of my pants. "The gel might be a little cold. And holy cow - it’s very cold. "Firstly, I will take all the baby’s measurements and check to see that everything is in order,” she explains. As she puts the wand over my belly and adjusts the screen, our blob, as Rayne calls it, is now a baby, with a head, arms, and legs.
"Look Tiny Dancer. Our baby has upgraded from blob to alien," he jokes. I give him an ‘our baby does not look like an alien’ look, and the sonographer takes pictures of everything as she explains why.
"Your baby is looking perfect and still has a due date showing right on track with the thirty first of December," she confirms.
"The thirty first of December, that’s the day we met, how did I not know that?" he says.
"I’m sure I told you before, it’s like it was meant to be," I smile.
"Like a sign," he agrees. I’ve never seen Rayne happier, maybe being a father will be good for him.
Before the sonographer finishes, Rayne asks her if she can tell the sex, but she says it’s still too early. We can book in at sixteen weeks for a sex scan or I can wait until eighteen weeks. Rayne says we will be back at sixteen weeks, because it’s killing him not knowing. I ask her if I can go pee and when she says yes, I almost break out in a run to get to the toilet in time. When I’m finished Rayne is waiting for me, and holds my hand all the way to the car.
He says he will have to meet me at his mums because he doesn’t knock off until six, which I tell him is fine since I’m going home for a nap. I never knew I would love naps so much. I always want to take quick ‘nanny naps’ as Ty calls them.
On my way home I stop to get some chocolate muffins and a can of coke. Ty has gone on a health kick and some days I feel like I just want some chocolate and coke, but I would never hear the end of it. I don't think one can of coke here or there is so bad, so I sneak them in when he isn’t around. I’ve even bribed Tommy to bring me things, when I have a craving, especially if he wants me to continue buying his condoms. I love Ty, but he is crazy obsessed with eating well and a girl needs to splurge every now and then. Once I'm home I set myself up with a movie and eat my muffin. It’s amazing how good things taste when you're pregnant. I close my eyes so I can try to get in an hour nap, but after a while I feel like someone is watching me. When I open my eyes, Ty is sitting on the coffee table staring at me.
"Creeper much," I say.
"You have a bit of something on your face," he points out.
"Don't even go there Ty, you're crazy - I will eat my muffin and drink my coke if I want to,"
"Hey, I was just saying," he says smiling at me.
"You have been going on about healthy foods and buying all that green shit," I tell him.
"That’s all been for me, but it’s been fun watching you try and hide all your snacks and sending Tommy out to smuggle you in food."
"Are you kidding me? I hate you - payback’s a bitch, and maybe I will tape my birth and set up a nice picture as a screen saver."
"You wouldn't, because you wouldn't want me to see your hoo-ha." I laugh so hard, I end up crying.
"What’s so funny?" he wants to know.
"You said hoo-ha; what are you, twelve?" I look at my phone and it’s already five, I slept for four hours.
"Why didn't you wake me? We will be late."
"I just got home and it only takes me fifteen minutes tops to get ready," he says walking towards the bathroom. I don’t think so buddy, I jump off the couch and race past him, into the bathroom and lock the door. I have the world’s fastest shower, throw on a light dress and take a jumper just in case. The nights have been getting a bit chilly lately, coming into winter. I call Rayne on my way out the door, he says he should be finished on time today and will meet me there. When I arrive I see nearly everyone is here and it makes me happy. I’ve barely seen anyone, they have all been busy with their real lives and I miss seeing them every day. Ty pulls up beside me.
"Tiny Dancer’s here," says Romeo, as I walk in the door.
"It’s about time," Abigail says.
"Shut up sis. Rayne isn't here yet, or Sam," Boston points out. Abigail storms off. Teenage girls are impossible; I hope I wasn’t like that, last week she didn't even like me.
We walk out the back, of course we’re having a barbeque and surprise, my father is already getting it all set up. "Hey Dad."
"You're here finally. A man could starve waiting this long," he complains.
"I’m only fifteen minutes late." I kiss him on the cheek and he shoos me away and tells me to go mingle.
"Bells," screams Sam as she comes running out, still in her uniform. I must admit she looks kickass and hot. When she gets to me she hugs me so tight, and I know she knows already, but Rayne doesn’t know that. I look for Rayne and when I see him he just shrugs at me, and comes over.
"You told her, so much for a surprise," I say.
"She wore me down, she might be small but she is like a mini ninja and when my mum called her she knew something was up, and threatened me with violence," he defends himself, and Sam socks him one on the arm.
"I did not. You just wanted to spill the beans - don't deny it," she says. I look at her and she looks at me and winks. If Sam didn't make it as a cop, she would have a career as an actress.
“Okay, let’s get everyone together," I call out. Rayne gets everyone’s attention.
"Thanks everyone for coming. I know you are all wondering why you are actually here, and I know my mum told you all some lies to get you to come, so if you all want to go to the theatre room, we can put you out of your misery.” We all follow Rayne, where Tommy is already waiting. Rayne had dropped him the baby video and pictures, he really is a computer whiz and growing up he always made stupid little videos of us.
Once everyone is sitting, he puts on the video. Rayne and I are standing in the back when music starts and it’s I Knew I Loved You b
y Savage Garden, but its Rayne’s voice. There are pictures of us together from when we first met and it’s beautiful, the tears start pouring out. Stupid pregnancy hormones. Rayne doesn't say anything he just holds my hand, then come a few pictures of the baby and once the song finishes, the video the sonographer made comes on, with Coming Soon across the screen. Everyone turns around and looks at us.
Dex is the first to come up and hug me followed by Romeo and Morris. Sam is super excited and is talking with Rayne’s mum about baby names and both come up with some really bad names. I'm glad they don't get to name our baby. The boys go with James to smoke cigars, some kind of family tradition my ass, but it’s nice to have everyone here. Once the food’s cooked, Boston offers to get everyone since he wasn't allowed to go with them. Everyone is sitting around drinking, except for Boston, Abigail and I - it’s OJ on the rocks for us. Right now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been since before that night. I have my friends and family with me, my life isn't exactly where I thought it would be, but the best things in life are usually unexpected. Watching Rayne and my father laughing together is very unexpected. By ten I’m exhausted and we say our goodbyes, Rayne drives me home but I fall asleep on the way and wake up as we pull up the driveway. Like a gentleman he walks me to the door.
"Stay the night," I ask him.
"Are you sure that’s a good idea?"
"I miss you and it would be nice just to have you here."
"If you're sure and I promise to be a perfect gentleman.” As he closes the door, I wait until he turns around before I push him up against the door leaning into him, and I can feel his heart beating. He looks at me with want and desire and I can see his hunger for me. He keeps looking at me, trying not to give in, so I get on my tippy toes and kiss him. At first he doesn’t kiss me back, but I must be wearing him down, because he is suddenly kissing me and when I say kissing me, I mean earth shattering; heart melting; panty dropping kissing. I feel him say he is sorry, with every movement of his lips and the love he puts into it makes all my reservations and doubts melt away. I know he won't lie to me or leave me again. He pulls away from the kiss, my lips instantly miss his and my heart is beating erratically. I’m dazed; I open my eyes and look at him and see with one look this is as far as he will take it tonight. "That was one hell of a goodnight kiss" he says, as he reaches for my hand and walks us to bed. He pulls my dress off and puts me in his shirt; the one I’ve worn every night since I pinched it. He takes off his uniform and it’s the first time I’ve seen him in boxer briefs. I get busted staring, but he just smirks at me and gets in beside me.
