We Thought We Knew It All (Invincible Book 2)

by Michelle Lynn

  I gave him a grateful look. Jamie needed me tonight.

  “Sure, want to just switch cars so you don't have to move the car seats?”

  He nodded, leaving to collect the boys.

  I hugged Morgan, Amber, and my boys, ignoring Jay altogether before leading Jamie out to Colby's car.

  I knew where he needed to go.

  Pulling into the parking lot, I still missed the crunch of gravel that used to signify we'd arrived. Now it felt less wild and more polished.

  Jamie was quiet as he soaked in the evening beach air. It was crisp and smelled like high school. I laughed at the thought. High school to me wasn't lockers and classrooms, it was that beach, because that's what was worth remembering.

  Jamie walked to the edge of the water and bent to splash it onto his face, hissing in a breath as the salt found its way into the cut on his chin.

  “He cut me,” he murmured.

  “Jamie?” I asked.

  “Huh?”

  “How old were you the first time your dad hit you?”

  He straightened up. “Eleven.” He glanced back. “Right now you're trying to convince yourself that the guy who was your best friend all those years didn't know his brother was being abused.”

  “I - “

  “I tried to do the same thing for years. I wanted more than anything to think that my brother just didn't know. Now that I have the kid goggles off, I don't see how that's possible.”

  “Back then I didn't get why you guys never got along. I thought -”

  “You thought it was because I was a jerk.”

  “Well, that's why we weren't overly fond of each other before senior year.”

  He started laughing, but I didn't get it. “Cal, you weren't overly fond of anyone. And for the record, I always liked you. I slept with so many girls just trying not to be in love with you.”

  “Gee, how romantic.”

  He grinned. “I aim to please.”

  “Are you okay, Jamie? Seriously?”

  He took my hand, flipping it over to trace the lines on my palm. “No.”

  I nodded. “I used to come here a lot when I was upset. I'd stare at the ocean, letting whatever troubled me drift away on the waves.”

  “Did that really work?”

  I smiled sheepishly. “Not really. But I did a lot of thinking while I was waiting for it to work. That seemed to help.”

  “Then will you sit with me?” he asked. “I have a lot to think through.”

  I sat next to him, securing my dress underneath my legs so it didn't blow up. He rested his arm across my shoulders, pulling me closer. My eyes were focused on the dark water when I felt his warm lips on my neck.

  Turning my face towards him, I said, “I thought you wanted to think.”

  “Thinking is overrated.”

  His lips crashed down on mine as my heart pounded in time with the waves drumming against the shore.

  * * *

  I unlocked the front door as quickly as I could as his hands gripped my waist from behind.

  Jamie. Me. This was happening.

  I pushed open the door and he spun me to face him, claiming my lips once again. I rose up on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck, wanting every inch of our bodies connecting.

  Jamie walked me backwards down the hall, knowing this house as well as I did. I nudged my bedroom door open with my butt and managed not to trip on anything on the floor.

  “A bed.” Jamie grinned. “This is a first for us.”

  The only time we'd actually gone all the way was on the beach. It'd been my first time, and a night I'd never forgotten. It'd been goodbye.

  I didn't know what this was. All I knew was that it felt good and I wanted to feel good. I wanted to stop being the adult in the room and just act on my impulses, my desires. I wanted Jamie - even if there was no promise of more than tonight. He was leaving - again - and I needed to be close to him.

  I raised my arms and Jamie slid my dress over my head, leaving me in a white cotton bra and matching underwear. I'd never pretended to be sexy, preferring simple instead, but his eyes drank me in all the same.

  He reached out slowly, running a hand up my side, leaving goosebumps in its wake. I began unbuttoning his shirt, sliding it off his defined shoulders. Touching his sculpted arms, I smiled. “Quite a bit different than last time.”

  “I've had ten years to get up to your standard.”

  “My standard?” I laughed.

  “The one you should have. The one you deserve. Not the idiot boy who fell in love with you and let you go, but the man who kicks himself for it every day.”

  Forgetting how to speak, I kissed him with as much fire as I could muster. His hands gripped my waist, lifting me onto the bed. He didn't stop kissing me as I laid back, his body hovering over mine. His lips left a trail of heat as they moved down across my collarbone and over my bra. He paused over my stomach and embarrassment started in. I shoved at him, wanting to hide my stomach from view.

  Jacks and Liam had been natural births, but Declan's was complicated. An emergency C-section left me with a permanent scar that stretched across the space near my panty line.

  “Jamie,” I pleaded.

  He raised his eyes to meet mine as he bent in closer, brushing the scar with the lightest of kisses. “Battle scars.” He winked.

  I took his hand in mine, pulling him back towards me. Fitting my lips to his, I pressed close, intertwining our legs as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

  I gripped his back as he moved and strained, my head swimming with the realization that Jamie Daniels was still very much in my heart. My love for him hadn't gone away. It'd only lain dormant, waiting for a time when it could come back stronger than ever.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jamie:

  Callie curled against me, her hair covering her face. I brushed it back with my fingers to see a shy smile start to appear.

  “Morning,” she whispered.

  I ran a hand down her bare back, leaning in to kiss her head.

  Being here with her had a surreal quality, almost like a dream and I was afraid to wake up.

  “You're beautiful,” I said.

  She snorted. “Yeah, I'm sure my bedhead is real attractive.”

  “As long as it's in bed with me, it's the best thing I've ever seen.”

  She reached up to flatten her hair, but I caught her hands in mine.

  “Don't even think about it.” I laughed. “I like you all messy.”

  “Weirdo.”

  “You used to like weird.” I grazed my lips across her shoulder.

  “This feels weird, doesn't it?” She shifted so she was facing me. “Us. Like going back in time.”

  “Back then we never got to wake up together.”

  “You know what I mean.” She shook her head. “It's different now. We're older.”

  “We're not even thirty.”

  “I have three kids!”

  “Okay.” I chuckled. “Maybe you're old.”

  That earned me a half-hearted punch to the shoulder. Her eyes widened as they followed her fist.

  “Jamie,” she gasped, reaching tentatively towards the collection of scars on my shoulder.

  “You can touch it,” I told her when she hesitated.

  “What happened?” Her fingers were light as they felt where the bullet had entered and the surgeons had cut.

  Memories of that night flashed through my head, but parts were still blank. I shuddered as it brought up the feelings from another night. They always went hand in hand.

  “A little over six months ago, I was shot on a mission.”

  Her eyes snapped to mine. “Did it hurt?”

  I remembered the searing pain that turned into blackness. “For a split second, but then my body went into shock. I was held for a while, but my team got me out eventually and after a few surgeries I returned to base.”

  “I can't believe you were going through that and none of us knew.”

 
I shrugged. “I had my platoon. They were like my family.” She flinched at that and I instantly regretted the term. Once upon a time, her family had been mine as well. “I guess I was just feeling lucky to be alive though. Not everyone got that.”

  She looked at me curiously and I found myself telling her about Jessica. The first rule of being in bed with a woman was to never talk about an ex, but the story poured forth and I couldn't seem to stop myself. Callie had always been easy to talk to.

  “Courage made us stupid,” I said. “Jessica wasn't allowed to be there, in combat. But that was all she'd wanted. She was good too. One of the best. We had intel that our target was in the area and that he was alone, but the intel was old. We didn't think we'd find him in that house so we didn't wait for the rest of our guys to show up.”

  She listened in silence, at one point taking my hand in hers and squeezing.

  I continued, unable to stop now. “We were exhausted and our cots back at base were calling to us. Two good soldiers died and for some inexplicable reason, I wasn't one of them.”

  When I was finished, her eyes were glassy. I heaved out a breath and she pulled me closer, letting me bury my face in her shoulder. That day was still so fresh. I shuddered against her.

  “I'm so sorry that happened,” she said, stroking my hair.

  She curled back against my side and I savored her warmth after the chill of the story had sunk into my bones.

  “Can I ask you a question?” she said.

  “Sure.”

  “Did you love her?”

  The question was fair. I'd asked the same thing about Dylan even though her answer had hurt. Jessica's fierce gaze filled my head. She'd been as strong as any man in the company and also kind and bright. She hadn't deserved to die.

  But I hadn't been in love with her, despite trying my hardest to make it so. She'd deserved more.

  “No,” I finally answered. “I wanted to love her. More than anything. After she died, the guilt nearly killed me too. It made me reckless. It got me shot.”

  We fell into silence, a nice, simple morning had turned heavy with emotion.

  Callie turned in my arms and rose up over me. Without a word, she bent to kiss the shoulder that had ended my military career. The irony was that it had also brought me back to her. Without the injury, I wouldn't have left base.

  “I can't go back,” I whispered.

  “What?” She pushed her hair behind her ears.

  “Nerve damage.” I flexed my fingers, feeling them tighten and strain. “I'm done.”

  I turned my face away so she wouldn't see the pain in my eyes at those words. Being a Ranger had given me more than I'd ever have imagined. It gave me purpose. Who was I without a mission?

  “Jamie.” She placed her hands against my cheeks to turn me back to her. “Are you telling me that you're staying?”

  “Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing.”

  A smile graced her lips and she bent to press them against mine. Her next words vibrated against my lips. “I think I'm still in love with you.”

  I flipped her over, eliciting a shriek. Pressing a hand to the bed on either side of her, I grinned. “Well, then I guess the rest will figure itself out.”

  * * *

  I pulled my pants up my legs as I walked towards the door to answer the incessant knocking.

  The smile that had been plastered across my face since Callie's confession dropped when I saw who was there.

  Jay stood on the threshold, his hands in the pockets of his slacks. He rocked back on his heels nervously and glanced behind me into the house.

  “Callie won't come to save you,” I said, unable to muster any venom when I was this happy. “She's in the shower.”

  Jay cleared his throat, finally meeting my gaze. “I'm actually here to see you. Colby said you were here.”

  “Okay.” I gestured for him to continue.

  “Look, I think we need to talk. Are you free for breakfast before I head to work?”

  When I didn't answer, a voice behind me said, “Sure he is.”

  I turned and met Callie's pleading eyes where she stood towel drying her hair. “You should go.” She stepped forward, reaching up to give me a kiss. “For me. Just talk to him.”

  Jay still stood in the doorway, watching us.

  “I have to go pick up the boys from Colby's anyway and get them to school. Then I have a meeting, so I'll be busy most of the day.”

  “Let me grab a shirt.” I sighed, walking back towards the bedroom. I slipped my shirt on over my head and pulled on my shoes.

  On my way out, I bent to kiss the top of Callie's head. “Call me after your meeting.”

  Getting into my truck, I followed Jay to the nearby Perkins. We didn't speak as the hostess led us to our table and the waitress poured our coffee. I ordered pancakes and bacon while Jay ordered an omelet. Lots had changed in the past ten years, but my hatred of eggs hadn't.

  “So,” I said, annoyed with my brother's silence. “You wanted to talk. Spit it out.”

  “Jamie, as blunt as ever.” He sipped his coffee before setting the mug down. “Look, I admit, I haven't exactly handled things well.”

  “You think?”

  “Please, let me speak.” He pressed his fingers to his eyes and inhaled deeply.

  My brother looked tired. That was the only word for it. His suit was slightly wrinkled and he looked at me with bloodshot eyes. An odd envy rose up in me. I wished the death of my father affected me like it did Jay. I wished he'd been the kind of father one missed.

  He'd been that for Jay. Whatever problems I'd had with the man, or with Jay's relationship with him, I had to realize that my brother just lost a father he'd loved in a sudden and tragic way.

  I sighed, waiting for him to be ready.

  “He went to see you, you know?” Jay finally said, folding his hands together on the table.

  “When?” Sergeant Carlson's words came to me then and I didn't have to wait for an answer to know. “After I was shot.”

  Jay nodded, bringing his mug to his lips. “It was the first I'd heard of you in years, but dad had been keeping track of your career through a friend of his. We thought you were going to die.”

  I choked down a sip of coffee. “Just another disappointment, I'm sure.”

  Jay, ever the calm brother, studied me, not rising to the bait. “We'd lost you long before that.”

  His words were meant to make me feel some of the pain I'd caused, but they rang hollow instead. “Sometimes the past should stay in the past.”

  “We weren't your past, Jamie. We were your family.”

  “Then maybe you should have acted like it,” I growled.

  The tension between us held taut while our waitress returned and placed food in front of us.

  “Can I get you anything else?” she asked.

  “No,” we answered in unison, still staring at each other.

  She practically ran from our presence.

  Neither of us touched our food and our stand-off was suddenly ended when Jay looked away. “You said you were just a kid.” He met my eyes once again. “But so was I, Jamie.”

  We began to eat in silence. The food was bland, but I suspected anything would taste bad during that conversation.

  When he'd finished eating, Jay pushed his plate away, took a sip of coffee, and looked up at me for the first time since shoveling the first bite into his mouth.

  “I never saw him hit you,” he said. “But I knew it was happening. I didn't know how bad it was, but when I left for college, I could pretend it didn't exist. I could pretend I didn't see the vulnerability in your eyes every time I came home. I could pretend I didn't know that you hated me. I was scared, Jamie, and it was easier to just close my eyes.”

  I opened my mouth to say something, but he put up a hand to stop me.

  “I need to get this out. When you left, not much changed. I was still away at school so not hearing from you didn't seem very strange. Then before I knew it, I was g
raduating and hadn't spoken to my brother in three years. So I tried to get in touch with you, but Colby and Callie told me the same thing - you'd truly broken away from your past. I don't think I'd ever been both proud and sad at the same time before.”

  “I had to do it, Jay.”

  “I know. But I couldn't let it go.” He smiled to himself. “I told dad that if he wanted me to take over the firm, he had to make things right with you.”

  “I haven't seen him since I left, but you're still running the firm.”

  “Well, he tried quite a few times. Each time he went to Fort Benning, you were out of the country.”

  I relaxed back into my seat as the new information crashed over me. If I'd been there, would I have been able to forgive him?

  I looked across at my brother, realizing there was one person I could forgive.

  “I'm sorry,” I said, knowing he wasn't the only person who deserved those words.

  “Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “This is only the start to my apology tour. My wife tells me I've been quite intolerable.”

  I shrugged. “If you hadn't been, I'd have missed the chance to pummel you.”

  One side of his mouth quirked up. “I seem to recall getting in a few punches myself.”

  As if remembering, I touched the cut on my face and laughed. “Yeah, well I let you have that one.”

  “I really am glad you're back,” he said.

  “Me too.” I thought of my army career, ending prematurely to bring me here. It still hurt, but the loss was getting easier with each passing day.

  “So,” Jay turned serious. “You and Callie together again.”

  I lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

  “She's been through a lot.”

  “So have I. We're a little more damaged than we were before, but through everything, I never stopped loving her.”

  “Has she told you … you know what, never mind.”

  “Told me what?” I asked.

  “I'm sure she will in time.”

  “Jay.” I leaned forward, meeting his eyes.

  He shook his head. “I shouldn't have said anything. I have to get to work.” He stood, dropping a twenty on the table. “Thanks for talking. Sorry about your face.”

  “Still looks better than yours.”