Taken Outback (The Dusty Rider Series Book 1)

by Stella Knights

  “Tom, what the hell was that?” I rub my tender wrists that are sore from being scraped against the bedposts.

  He grabs a pillow off the floor and throws it against the headboard of the bed. He collapses against it, still breathless from our actions a few minutes before. “Sorry, Holly, I lost myself for a second there. If you wait a few minutes we can go again for you.”

  I feel like my Jimmy Choo pumps thrown away after one dance on the dance floor. Totally used and unsatisfied. I prop myself up on my elbows and sigh out of annoyance. “Tom, where did you get the idea I would enjoy it rough and painful like that?”

  Tom is already asleep, so I do not get an answer from him.

  The wind has been let out of my sails for the evening and I’m wide awake from pent up sexual frustration. I grab my coat off the living room floor and retreat onto the balcony to have a cigarette. Standing in the freezing drizzle, naked under my coat, I shiver at the thought of what was colder, the air or Tom’s lovemaking tonight?

  CHAPTER THREE

  I PAUSE TO watch an older couple walk arm-in-arm towards the counter and place their order. It is hard to imagine love lasting all the way through the roller coaster ride life takes you on. I wonder if we will make it to the end like this couple.

  Kylie clears her throat, bringing me back into the moment to continue the interview. “So, was it then that you realised something wasn’t right with Tom?”

  “I should have, but like many women, I chose to ignore all the signs.” I take the last sip of my cooling latte.

  How naïve was I to the changes going on around me? Completely naïve.

  “Did you say anything to Tom about Beth or about the possible move?”

  “The next morning, he was off early to the gym. When he came home around lunchtime, he surprised me with a pair of Louboutin boots he knew I had my eye on. I assumed it was his way of apologising. At that point, I didn’t have any real reason not to trust Tom. So, I could easily pass off my concerns as being from my overreactive imagination.” I sigh, running the tip of my finger along the rim of my cup. “After that, things went back to normal for a few weeks. Until the night he came home and told me that the company voted to move half of his team to Brisbane.”

  “How did you take this news?”

  “Obviously, I wasn’t thrilled. I didn’t want to leave the city and friends I loved, not to mention my job. But I fooled myself into thinking that since I was now married, I should do what women all over the world have done for generations. Be a good wife and support my husband even if it meant moving.”

  “Don’t you think that was a bit old fashioned?” Kylie scrunches her nose in obvious aversion to such archaic thoughts.

  “You have to remember where I grew up and the values that were pressed upon me. It would’ve been a much easier argument if my mother was a career woman, but she wasn’t. Not to mention, I loved Tom and I wanted to see him happy. And his happiness was related to his career.”

  “How did you cope with the move if you weren’t wanting to do it?”

  “It was hard, but I tried to make it work. I thought once I got a job it would be okay. But weeks went by and I hadn’t found anything. I started to get bored and lonely. Tom was working insane hours, so he didn’t notice that mentally I was falling apart. The whole situation was a ticking time bomb ready to explode around us.”

  Kylie flicks her fringe out of her eyes. “And did it?”

  “Like anything building up to a climax, it started off simmering and simmering like a pot on the stove. I’m not sure if it was being tired and overworked, or if it was Tom being hellbent on achieving big things quickly, but he started coming home always irritated about something.” My heart beats faster as the memories flood into my mind. “I was feeling more and more isolated because of the moods he would get in where he would shut down and not speak for days.”

  “Did you ever try to talk about this with him?”

  “I never felt I could because he was always busy, on the phone or coming home exhausted. Days would go by without us even having a proper conversation or meal together. I was like one of our beautiful paintings no longer hanging on our walls, instead just sitting in the back of a storage unit waiting for the day I will be brought out to be enjoyed again.”

  “How did this affect you?”

  “I was bored,” I replied rolling my eyes and shaking my head. “And getting pretty desperate to find a job. I even went to volunteer at the local community centre, hoping maybe it could lead to paid work. As luck would have it, someone there got me an interview for a job as a Parole Officer. Not ideal, but it was a job and I gladly accepted when I was given the chance.”

  “And was Tom supportive of this?”

  TOM WALKS THROUGH the door after I’ve been patiently waiting for hours. “I got a job, hon,” I declared.

  “Well, it’s about time. It’s tiring having to pay for everything.” He looks nonplussed as he loosens his tie and places his satchel against the floor.

  I am shaking as the blood drains from my face. I didn’t expect a negative response. Heck, I would have even taken him faking satisfaction. Trying not to let him get me down, since he’s in one of his feral moods again, I suggest, “Let’s open a bottle of wine and have a glass to celebrate.”

  “Whatever. Let me have a shower first.” I hear the annoyance in his voice as he leaves the room.

  While Tom has his shower, I go and open a good Merlot I’ve been holding onto for a special occasion. I have a glass ready to hand to him when he walks back into the living room.

  When he comes back from his shower, I smile and hand him his glass. He slumps down on the couch next to me and grabs the television remote. As he turns on the business news channel, he asks, “What job did you get?”

  “I’m going to be a Parole Officer.”

  “What? A Parole Officer?” Tom looks far from happy. In fact, he looks as though he’s irritated with my announcement.

  His heartless response crushes me. “Yeah, I know it’s not exactly my field, but at least it works in well with the philanthropic stuff I like.” I was glad to finally find a job and I never thought this would be the reaction I would get from him.

  “You can’t take a job like that. I mean, that can’t possibly be safe for someone like you.” He sits up straight from his slouched position. He places his wine glass and the remote onto the coffee table in front of the couch.

  “Don’t worry. They’ll be training me so I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “I don’t want you taking this job. You’re not built for it and you would never be able to defend yourself.”

  Meeting his eyes, I say, “I’ve already accepted it. I start in a few days.”

  “Well, you’re going to have to call them and tell them you changed your mind.” He shakes a pointed finger at me as if I am a child being ordered to obey his command.

  “I’m not going to do that, Tom. It took me ages to get this job. I’m going out of my mind with boredom. I’ve no friends and nothing to do here. I need this job.”

  Tom slams his fist down against the table causing me to jump. “Why can’t you do what I say? The fact that you’re questioning my judgement is pissing me off. Just do as I say for once goddammit!”

  I’m shocked by his anger. “What are you going on about? I always do what you want, but I’m not backing out of this. I want to work.”

  “I don’t care what you want.” His lips are tight as his nostrils flare causing wrinkles to appear on his brow.

  I’m shocked as I don’t understand where this level of rage is coming from. It is as though he is angry at something else or maybe it is his need to be in control of everything.

  I speak softly and reach my trembling hand out to touch his, hoping it will calm him. “It will be all right. I don’t think they would hire me if they thought I’d be in danger.”

  “I don’t want my wife around a bunch of criminals.”

  I cock my head to the side. “I’m not a
Senior Officer. I’m only entry level so I won’t be working with hardened criminals. I’m only going to be working with people on minor drug offences and things like that.”

  “I don’t think any of them should be considered minor offences. I think they should all be in jail. This country is far too easy on its criminals.”

  “People make mistakes and I’m sure a lot of what goes on in the world could be considered criminal. Every day you read in the news about some corrupt company.” As I say this, Tom’s phone beeps, alerting him to a new text message. “Who’s texting you at this hour?”

  He picks up his phone to see who has just sent the message. “Just someone at work.” A look of indignation come over his face.

  In a monotone voice, I ask, “Who, Tom?” I wait a moment before repeating the question, which is now a demand.

  He hesitates for a moment, glancing down at the floor before murmuring, “Beth.”

  I try to hide how incensed I am that Beth is contacting him this late after work. I take a deep breath before speaking. “Why is she texting you right now? Why doesn’t she bother her own man and leave you alone? Doesn’t that woman get that you are married?”

  Like a cobra that has been woken up from a deep sleep, Tom fires up at me and spits out, “Don’t try to control me, Holly. I’ll do what I want and text who I want no matter what you say. Sometimes, I just wish you stayed back in Melbourne and didn’t come here.” He stands up and knocks the glass of wine to the ground, shattering it into a million pieces, staining my white rug.

  Did he just say he wished I stayed back in Melbourne?

  In a fury, I stand up, get in his face and say, “How can you say something so hurtful? You should want me here with you. And you should not be texting some cow who’s trying to bed you. You are married. Not single.”

  Tom’s face turns a fiery red and his eyes open wide. He shoves me solidly in the chest, stealing my breath.

  My feet come out from under me as I stagger backwards, falling to the ground.

  He yells, “Fuck off,” as he storms out of our apartment, slamming the door behind him.

  I’m left there on the floor with tears welling up in my eyes. Tom has never done this to me before.

  What is going on with him?

  AFTER A FEW minutes, I get off the floor. I rub my chest and backside, wondering if I will get a bruise from either the strike or the fall. I stretch out my arms and realise I’m feeling stiff from the shock of what just happened.

  I clean up the broken glass while tears stream down my cheeks. I carefully scrub the rug, but I know it is ruined forever. Still, I continue to try to remove the stain. It is an ironic metaphor for our relationship.

  I cannot find the will to eat a bite of my dinner, so I retire to bed alone. Somewhere around three o’clock, I hear the door open, signalling that Tom has come home. He’s clattering around in the lounge, but I do not move from my bed. I don’t want him to know I am awake. I lie here wondering where he has been all night, but I try with all my might to not care.

  Was he with Beth?

  My stomach clenches at the thought. I wait, still listening to him clamouring around the apartment. At one point, with my body tense, I hear him walk by our bedroom door. I wait for him to enter but he doesn’t. The room grows quiet and I wonder if he has collapsed asleep on the couch. Tears are running down my face, as I realise that if this is what having success means, I want no part of it. I want the old carefree, fun-loving Tom back.

  “HOLLY, CAN YOU wake up please?” I hear a gentle voice while fingers softly stroke my cheek. As I come to, I remember the drama of last night. My heart quickens as I sit up and push Tom’s hand away. “Don’t touch me,” I mutter under my breath.

  “Sorry to wake you, but I couldn’t go to work without talking to you first. I’m sorry about last night.” Tom looks pained as he speaks, and possibly hungover. “I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about your job. You’re right, you’ve been supportive of me all this time and I know you’ve been desperate to find work. So, I should be happy for you.” He sighs, as he watches for any sort of reaction from me.

  “Tom, I don’t know what to say. I’ve never seen you get so angry before.” I’m careful not to show any sign of what I might be thinking. Or maybe I don’t know what to think right now.

  Looking towards the floor, he says, “I know, I’m so sorry. It’s this job. It’s been so frustrating. One of my co-workers stole my idea, used it in a presentation, then took all the credit for it.”

  There are tears in his eyes, but I’m not giving in so easily. “It’s not an excuse to take your rage out on me.” Tom nods his head in agreement, before I add, “And I want to know why Beth was texting you.”

  “She’s my boss. I can’t help it if she texts me.”

  “I don’t like that she’s texting you at night when it is my time with you. It’s such an inappropriate thing for her to do.”

  “Look, you don’t need to worry about her. She’s actually been annoying lately because she’s always making me do things that she should be doing. Besides, there’s a rumour of her being transferred to a different department in another city.”

  “It would be nice to have that horrid woman out of our lives,” I mumble under my breath.

  Leaning close, Tom looks me in the eyes. “She will never be the woman you are, so please don’t worry about her. You have to trust me and know that I’m doing all of this for you.”

  “Well, I think you should tell her to get a life and stay away from ours. And I don’t see why you can’t tell her to leave you alone outside of work.”

  “I’ll never be able to stop her from texting me if it’s something with work, no matter what time it is. I don’t have a choice in the matter and I wish you’d try to understand this.”

  “You have the choice to quit and find a new job,” I say curtly, even though I know he won’t leave his job for anything. “One that won’t make you so angry all the time.”

  He leans close to me, trying to hold my hand while peering into my eyes. “Babe, I love you. I am doing this job for us. I would never want to hurt you. I’m sorry I snapped. I just got so frustrated because you weren’t doing what I wanted when I was only trying to protect you.”

  “You can’t blame me for you not being able to control yourself.” I cannot believe he’s trying to pass the buck for his actions as if I control whether or not his hands strike me.

  Nodding his head, he replies, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ll support whatever you decide with this job.” He reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, smoothing it as it is pushed back. I’m still sitting motionless, not giving him any readable response. With tears still in his eyes, he pleads, “I promise, I will never do that ever again. Can you forgive me?”

  KYLIE MOTIONS TO a waiter to bring a second coffee before asking, “Did you forgive him?”

  “Yes, I did. I didn’t want to believe that fun-loving Tom was gone forever. I still thought he was just buried under his insatiable drive for success and money.”

  “Did you ever think that you should leave him for striking you?”

  “The thought did cross my mind, but how could I leave? I had nothing, nowhere to go. I felt he showed remorse when he apologised, so I guess I bought his excuses.” Staring out the window for a moment, I then add, “I realise this must sound ironic considering the work I have done, but sometimes it really is harder to leave than it is to stay.”

  Kylie nods her head and hesitates as if she’s trying to find the right words. “I understand it would have been a hard decision. I’m sure there are many women out there that can relate.”

  “It’s not a choice I would wish on anyone. It’s easy to tell yourself that it will only happen one time, even if you are smart enough to realise it may not.” My body tenses while speaking, because I know all too well, Kylie must think I should have left this co-dependent situation immediately.

  Noticing the pause in my speaking, Kylie asks, “How di
d he act following his outburst?”

  “In the months after, things were better. Tom was smiling more, talking more, full of energy that I hadn’t seen since we moved. I was also working, so I didn’t have time to obsess on what might be wrong in our relationship. My job turned out to be the best distraction possible.”

  A waitress walks up to us bringing me a fresh latte. I nod and smile as I take the cup. “Thank you.”

  Kylie looks up from her notes. “Jen told me that you were working in a regional parole office and not in the city, is that correct?”

  I lean back in my chair, holding a fresh cup of coffee in my hands. “I started in the city and worked there for about a year. Then a temporary promotion came up in a regional area. Between the higher salary and the compensation, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

  “Was Tom okay with this?”

  “By that point, he had gotten used to me working as a Parole Officer and realised it wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds. I guess initially he made assumptions about the job because he had watched too many crime documentaries that overinflated his imagination. Plus, the promotion meant I was going to bring in more money, so Tom’s greed diverted his attention away from any concerns he might have had about my safety.”

  “In the lead up to the incident at work, nothing else seemed off?”

  “To be honest, every once in a while, he would get in a weird mood, but it would disappear as elusively as it started. I really thought things were going to be fine with us, even though we weren’t having sex as often as we had in the past. You hear that happens to everyone at some point, so it was nothing that worried me at the time.”

  “Did you ever talk about this with Tom?”

  I shake my head while pursing my lips. “No, I never brought it up. Instead, I tried different things to get his attention and then other times I was just too tired to worry about it. Looking back now, I see how these situations become the perfect storm where a vulnerable woman can easily get distracted. But I never thought in a million years I would be the one that would get led astray. And never in a trillion years did I think I could be led astray by a criminal that did hard time. This just does not happen to someone that always follows the straight and narrow in life.”