Secrets of the Bear (Trapped in Bear Canyon Book 4)

by Terry Bolryder

“Oh,” Valerie said. “He did say he was prepping something for tonight.”

  “Ooh, I bet he’s going to propose or something,” Ros said. “Try to make things right for what you two did.”

  “You mean out of obligation or something?” Val asked.

  “Yeah.”

  Valerie’s heart thudded as she leaned against a gate. A brown horse with a white stripe on its nose nuzzled her shoulder, and she smiled. But she still felt uneasy inside. “But you think he’d be doing it out of obligation? Even if he knew I wanted it?”

  “I think he’s an oddball,” Ros said. “I could be wrong about him, but I think he kind of marches to his own tune. If he thinks he took advantage of you or that you shouldn’t have done that without being mated, he’ll probably want to be mated. Especially if that’s what you asked for.”

  “But what about him? What about what he wants?” Val said.

  “I don’t know,” Ros said. “I think he wants you. He probably knows you’re his mate, deep down.”

  “He has said as much.”

  “What are the two of you waiting for, then?”

  “I don’t know,” Val said, moving away from the horse. “He said he wanted to wait until we were both in a better state of mind.”

  “I wouldn’t let him propose, then. Mating or marriage,” Ros said. “You don’t want to always wonder if he did it out of obligation. In my opinion, he’s right. You should both wait until you’re in the right place to make the decision. If you don’t, you might always wonder.”

  Valerie felt like she wouldn’t wonder. Francis was her person. She was sure after what they’d done last night. She’d felt totally one with him. It had felt like more than sex.

  “But what do I know?” Ros asked. “Me and Rock had a rough time of it, fought it all the way to the end, and things still worked out. So I think it’ll be okay. I would lay off him on the mating thing and try to keep him from doing anything just because he feels guilty.”

  “I can do that,” Val replied. “Though I kind of wish we were mated, just in case Charles shows up.”

  “I’m not worried about Charles,” Ros said, nuzzling a chestnut mare on the nose. “Francis can beat up just about anything.” She gave Val a grin. “I wish you could see him in action. Well, you will if Charles shows up.”

  But Valerie wasn’t sure. Gentle, kind Francis was huge and muscular, sure. But was he a match for someone cruel and manipulative like Charles?

  “Don’t doubt him,” Ros said. “You two may really be meant to be together. But give it some time. You have time.”

  “Maybe,” Val said.

  Ros turned to her and took both her hands, squeezing them. “Trust me, Val. You’re safe here. None of us are going to let anything happen to you.” She shook her head. “Men who hurt women don’t fare well in Bear Canyon.”

  Valerie flushed. “You probably think less of me as an abused person.”

  Ros met her with frank blue eyes. “Not unless I’m willing to think less of my husband.”

  “Rock was abused?”

  “His dad put that scar on his face. You aren’t the only one who’s run into a sociopath,” Ros said.

  “I had no idea,” Val said.

  “Yeah, well, unfortunately, being abused comes with the stigma of shame, even when someone has nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing to remember is that we, and Francis, are here for you. And we aren’t going to let anything happen anymore.”

  “Thanks,” Val said, releasing Ros’s hands. “That makes me feel better.” Not so much the promises of protection, but the acceptance and the knowledge that she wasn’t alone. “I guess Francis is going to call me home for his ‘surprise’ soon.”

  “Good luck with that,” Ros said, teasing.

  Val let out a long sigh. “Yeah. I’m gonna need it.”

  13

  Francis lit the candles at the dinner table and checked the settings with their beautiful silver to make sure everything was perfect.

  The lodge was quiet and still, and there were roses in a vase in the middle of the table to present to her.

  He pulled a velvet box from his pocket and opened it to reveal the ring he’d picked out with Rock while Ros and Val had been hanging out together. An antique ring peeked out, a smaller diamond in the center surrounded by sparkly antique diamonds spread around it like petals.

  A flower in bloom, just like their love. He closed it and put it back in his pocket, still terribly aware of it.

  The door opened, and it was Valerie, waving to Rock and Ros, who had walked her up to the door. Francis gave them a wave as they got back in their car, and he didn’t miss Rock giving him a mischievous wink.

  It did nothing to help his nerves.

  Valerie looked beautiful, flushed from laughing. She was wearing a gray windbreaker over a pink shirt, along with the tight jeans that had driven him crazy the other night. Her tanned skin was glowing, and her dark hair was mussed from the wind.

  She walked forward, and her eyes widened when she saw what he’d set up in the kitchen “What’s this?”

  “It’s for you,” he said. “There’s something I want to ask you.”

  She pressed her lips together. “Francis, this isn’t about the mating, is it?”

  “Why?” he asked as his heart decided to beat double time.

  She looked apologetically at him. “Because I know I’ve been super pressuring you about that. And I know that last night was awesome. But I was talking to Ros more about mating today.”

  “Oh?” he asked, trying to keep his jaw from twitching. “And what did they say?”

  She looked at her chair. “I guess we can sit while we talk about it.”

  “Not exactly what I planned,” he answered, pulling out her chair. “But okay.”

  She sat down and looked wistfully at the candles and roses. “But this is really sweet, Francis. Thank you.”

  He nodded, ready to hear what else she had to say.

  “Anyway, I was telling Ros how impatient I was to have you mate me, and she was telling me how serious mating is for shifters.”

  Francis inwardly winced. “Is that right?”

  “I guess I didn’t realize what I was actually asking of you. I can see why you would want to wait until you were sure it was the right decision.”

  “I’m sure that—”

  She put up a hand. “And I know you would probably feel obligated after what we did. You’re a very traditional man after all. But I’m glad for what we did. It set me free and made me realize I haven’t really had a chance to be free.” She grinned at him. “I still want to be with you, but I like that we’re taking it slow.”

  “Oh,” he said, numbness moving from his toes up into his legs.

  “I mean, eventually, we might end up mating, but it’s like you can’t take it back. It’s permanent. So I get why you wouldn’t want to make the mistake of rushing it or making me rush it, since I wasn’t in a good place when I came here.”

  Shit. Shit. Shit.

  “I mean, how do you know if you’re mating me for the right reasons or just to protect me? And if we’re going to be together forever and it’s irrevocable, it’s probably something we shouldn’t do under duress.”

  Shit sundae with a shit cherry on top.

  She leaned forward, her chin on her hands. “So I love the dinner you made for me. I think it’s amazingly romantic. I want to keep doing romantic things with you. I want the courtship we never had when we were friends before. And when we’re ready, if I’m your mate, we can do that, too.”

  “When we’re ready,” he murmured, cold terror replacing all the excitement inside him.

  It would be his luck that she would look so excited about waiting to choose to mate right when he was about to tell her they were mated.

  What did he do now?

  She stood and walked over to sit in his lap. “We can still get romantic tonight. Partners can do that even if they aren’t mates.”

  He stood abrup
tly, setting her down.

  She eyed him in shock.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m not like that,” he said. “I can’t do something that’s just casual. I can only do that with someone I love.”

  She leaned on the table, face darkening in confusion. “If you loved me, then why did you leave and never plan to come back?”

  “Because you chose someone else, Val. I know it wasn’t your fault, or mine, but you did. And I’m doing better at fighting, but fighting your needs and wants shouldn’t be something expected of me.”

  She bit her lip, looking ready to cry, and he longed to embrace her.

  But he couldn’t. He was too confused right now. She’d ruined his dinner. He had no way out of the mess they’d gotten in, and he could still lose her at any moment and the thought terrified him.

  She was his mate now. It would destroy him, but she could leave him if she wanted to.

  If she hated him for what he’d allowed to happen.

  She walked forward. “You need to communicate with me,” she said. “I need to know what’s wrong.”

  “I am communicating with you. I’m telling you I want to mate you and you’re telling me no, despite the fact that it’s what you’ve been literally asking for since you showed up on my doorstep.”

  Her face hardened. “I’m allowed to change my mind. Especially if you’re going to act like this.”

  He threw his hands up. “Like what? Like I’m frustrated? Like I’m scared I’ll get hurt again? I’m sorry, Val, but this whole thing is dangerous for me.”

  “And it’s not for me?” she asked. “I left someone who is probably trying to find and kill me, because I wanted to come back to you.”

  “Because you wanted my protection.”

  “Because I wanted you,” she spat back.

  He turned his back on her, heart pounding so hard it was painful. A literal hammering on his soul.

  She’d chosen someone else once. She could again.

  “I don’t understand. We were going to have a nice night. Why did it have to turn into a fight?” she asked.

  “I’ll tell you why,” he said, walking back to her with flashing eyes, stopping just in front of her. “Because you don’t make any sense to me. You ask for one thing one day and something totally different another, and just when I think it’s safe to come out with what I want, you change your mind.”

  “I was just trying to give you a break.”

  “Really?” he asked, hearing his tone rise, feeling the angry, lonely feelings of the past year rushing up inside him. “Because it sounds to me like you’re just letting me down gently because you realized you don’t want me!”

  She froze, staring up at him with eyes that were starting to water. “I don’t like a Francis who acts like this.”

  “Well, this is part of me, too. I can get hurt and angry, too. Or do you only like the nice Francis, the one who just put up with everything and never fought for what he wanted?”

  She folded her arms tight, as if to protect herself. “You do need to fight, Francis. But you need to fight against the right things.”

  He didn’t feel he could handle this conversation anymore. She would never understand what she’d done to him. What he’d done to himself by leaving her behind. She’d never know the pain he’d gone through, just as he would never know how it had felt to deal with Charles as a suitor.

  He started stomping up the stairs to his room, and when she followed, he turned to her with a glare. “I need to be alone right now.”

  She took a step back, shocked, and he immediately regretted what he said.

  But his world was collapsing in on him, and he needed time to think. He couldn’t do it with her looking so normal while she rejected him for something he couldn’t change anymore.

  He walked into his room and shut the door behind him, pacing back and forth.

  He knew he should go back down to her. That he should probably stay and talk. But she would be safe. She could have dinner without him. When he was able to calm down, take the pain, and be patient again, he could talk to her.

  When everything wasn’t raging inside. When there wasn’t too much pain from the past clouding his mind.

  He heard her soft voice outside his door. “I called Rock and Ros. They’re picking me up. I’m going over there.”

  He opened his door, staring down at her. “No. Stay here where I can protect you.”

  She raised an eyebrow, her face devoid of color. “In your room? Throwing a tantrum?”

  “I’m a shifter,” he said. “Being turned down for mating is the worst thing we can hear.”

  She stamped a foot. “Dammit, I wasn’t turning you down! Why do you have to be so damn sensitive?”

  He felt his lips curl in a snarl. “Because this is the second time you’ve walked on my heart.”

  “I didn’t know it was mine to walk on,” she said quietly. “Not the first time. And this time, I thought I was doing the right thing.” She sighed. “I’m going to stay with Rock and Ros tonight, and that’s final. You aren’t the only one who can protect me, Francis.” Her green eyes met his, looking dull, lifeless. “You’re just the one I wanted to.”

  That hit him like a stone to the stomach, and he almost stopped her as she walked down the stairs away from him.

  But he couldn’t. If he turned her around, she’d talk more about how happy she was that they weren’t yet mated and give him visions of her shouting at him and leaving because she felt tricked or forced.

  Maybe it wasn’t reasonable, but there was only so much a man could take.

  And she’d be safe with Ros and Rock. Rock was a Brolin, and they were all amazing, strong fighters.

  Francis waited at the top of the stairs so he could see through the bay windows when she walked outside to get in Rock’s truck, then slammed his bedroom door and sank down against it.

  Rock could protect her, but Francis felt like a coward for letting his own pain get in the way when he was the one who wanted to do it.

  She was his.

  Forever.

  So why couldn’t things ever work out?

  14

  “I don’t get it,” Rock said as Val sat in the back of the cab, Ros’s hand holding hers. “What just happened?”

  Val looked down at her hands in her lap. Despite being angry with Francis and his decision to run whenever things got difficult, she hated leaving him. She felt hollow and empty inside when she did.

  “Did you tell him you wanted to wait and go slow with mating?” Ros asked.

  “Why would she tell him that?” Rock asked, eyes bugging as they swerved slightly on the road back to town.

  Ros reached over to steady the wheel, then brushed blond hair out of her face. “Because she told me he’d been acting weird, and I thought with his conscience, he was probably acting guilty and she should lay off with the mating requests.”

  Rock slapped a palm over his forehead and pulled off to the side of the road. “Oh no. Not good.”

  “What is it?” Val said, leaning forward so she could see him. “What’s not good?”

  Rock looked at Ros and then Val. “Uh… I don’t know if I should tell you. But if you just told him you don’t want to be mated, that’s the worst thing you could have possibly done.”

  “Why?” Ros asked, squirming in her seat. “If it’s right, they can wait. He wasn’t in a hurry before.”

  “Right,” Val said. “And I don’t want him doing it out of obligation just because we had sex unexpectedly.”

  Rock put his arms over the wheel and buried his head in them. “Ugh, I don’t even know how to fix this. Poor Francis.”

  “Poor Francis?” Ros asked, folding her arms and sitting back in the passenger seat. “More like poor Val. Francis can’t just keep running away when things are emotionally tough.”

  “And if I’d turned you down for mating, you’d be fine with it?” Rock asked, looking over at her.

  “You didn’t exactly
make things easy,” she said. “But I mean, I didn’t say yes to you right away. I think I told you no quite a few times.”

  Rock sighed, his grey eyes looking haunted. “Not when we were already mated.”

  “Mated? But… we used protection,” Valerie said.

  “You didn’t feel or remember anything weird?” Rock asked, then covered his face. “I can’t believe I’m talking about this. But it’s for Francis, and I like Francis.”

  Val felt her face go red. “Um. I mean, it was a little different, and… But he left right after to clean up… and… I don’t know…” She blinked. “Wouldn’t I know?”

  “The condom fucking broke,” Rock blurted out, cringing, expecting a blow from his wife.

  Instead, Ros’s jaw just dropped and she sat back against the chair. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It was Francis’s secret to tell,” Rock said apologetically. “And I didn’t think you’d go telling her not to mate him.”

  “I didn’t,” Ros said. “I just told her to tell him to wait.”

  “Same thing to a male. Especially one who has already lost his mate once because she chose another.” Rock shook his head. “The idea of not being with your mate is like a shot right to the heart. I don’t blame Francis for running.”

  “I have to go back to him,” Val said, unbuckling her seatbelt and reaching for the door.

  “No,” Ros said, hitting the child lock. “He needs to cool off. He’s hurting, but he still needs to learn to fight back even when it seems hopeless. He can’t just keep running to the mountains to hide.”

  “Fighting isn’t Francis’s problem,” Rock said. “Have you seen him fight?”

  “Yes,” Ros said. “But that’s not what I mean. Didn’t you think it was weird when he was just willing to relocate to Bear Canyon with no notice, leaving his entire life behind? If that’s not a man running, what is?”

  “I’d run, too, from the idea of someone else with my mate.”

  “You wouldn’t fight?” Ros asked, looking pissed.

  Rock sighed. “I mean, I would. But this was different. This guy had them both totally confused.”

  “I know,” Ros said on a sigh. “It’s a fucking mess, and I’ve made it worse.”