Any Way You Fight It

by Monique McDonell

  "Thanks for pimping out your new colleague, but if I wanted a guy, I could find my own." I tried to sound haughty. "Anyway, Lucy, I have to run. I have about a million calls to return. "

  I dropped my bundle, minus the coffee of course, on the office sofa and turned at the sound of the bell above my front door tinkling. There in resplendent glory—today in chinos and a white shirt with sleeves rolled to the elbows, offsetting a killer tan—was Luke.

  "Not your type, huh?" he said, closing the space between us a little.

  "First of all, don't you know it is rude to eavesdrop and second, definitely not."

  "I used to be," he said, one hand shoved in his pocket and the other gesticulating.

  "Well, we all used to be different, didn't we?"

  "I bet we're not all that different, you know."

  "That's hardly a ringing endorsement for either of us." I leaned back against the edge of my desk, using it to balance me, and took a long sip of my latte. Some days there just wasn't enough coffee in the world.

  "I don't know, I thought we were decent kids back then . . ."

  "Until at least one of us wasn't."

  "And which one was that?" he asked as if he didn't know. The bastard.

  "What brings you here, Luke? I kind of have a lot to get done today."

  "I wanted to see you."

  "You've seen me." I sounded like such a cold bitch. He would have no doubt that I had changed by the end of this conversation. It wasn't that I didn't want to be that sweet young girl again, but he'd changed me and anyway, I was not her. I was an independent thirty-year-old woman.

  "And I wanted to say obviously I had no idea you had any connection to Piper, and I'm sorry we were both blindsided that way last night."

  "It's okay. Small world and all that." I tried to take another sip of my coffee but, sadly, the well was dry.

  "It was really nice to see you, Cherie. I've often wondered how you were, what you did . . ." his voice trailed away.

  I wanted to say, Dude, you could have called or written or maybe not just vanished back then, but I didn't.

  "You're obviously keeping well."

  "Can't complain." He shoved his second hand in his pocket. "So, do you want to still act like we don't know each other? These are your friends; this is your life . . ."

  That was nice at least. "I kind of assumed yes. Then again, I don't like lying to them . . ."

  "How about I say that I realized I recognized you from the neighborhood? Nothing more."

  "Okay, but they're pretty nosy, so if they wise up or it feels weird for me, I'll tell them, and I'll let you know. Lucy and Piper can keep a secret."

  "I don't suppose you want to have dinner or a donut for old-time’s sake?"

  "You know what, I really don't. It's nice to see you're happy and doing well, but . . ."

  "Okay." He turned to leave. "As you wish."

  He did not just quote the Princess Bride to me. Oh yes, he freaking did!

  #

  I settled in behind my desk and pretended to work. I did do some real work, but I knew I was too rattled to deal with anything important.

  Was that "as you wish" a coincidence or not? It couldn't be.

  Luke had been popping by the donut shop every day. In the beginning, my friend Natalia who worked with me and I were breathless with anticipation to see if he would or wouldn't show. After a few days, I was still breathless but Natalia was more in the "he's so into you, what are you going to do about it?" space.

  I didn't know. The truth was I hadn't lied about the overprotective Italian family. It seemed ridiculous to me, but the truth was I was the only girl. I had three brothers and four male cousins and I was the principessa. That was a good thing for a long time, until it wasn't. It didn't matter that this was America in the twenty-first century; the same hypocrisy and double standards that extended to women in Italy for centuries were alive and well on my street. Men could date whomever they wanted and be wild but they're supposed to marry good Italian Catholic girls, preferably virgins, from good families. Girls could date no one, had to avoid all wildness, and hopefully be recognized as perfect wife material.

  Luke was not on the list of guys I would be allowed to date. I'm sure my parents would have invited him over for dinner with the family if they knew he was bored senseless hanging out with his grandparents but not for the purpose of flirting with me.

  On his fifth visit to the donut shop, a Friday, he asked me if I worked weekends.

  "No, thank goodness," I said. I realized he might think that I didn't want to see him. "I mean, I like coming here, but I need a break, too."

  "It's okay. I work part time in a deli in New York; I never miss it on my days off either. So, what do you do on the weekends?"

  "Tonight, I'm babysitting."

  "You work a lot," he said.

  "Yeah, well, my parents would really rather I commuted and didn't go away for college. My working hard and contributing is my way of showing my commitment to the cause."

  "What about tomorrow night? Want to see a movie?"

  Every fiber and every hormone I possessed wanted to do that, but I was pretty sure I couldn't swing it. I felt like such a dork explaining this to Luke. His parents left him behind to go to Africa. "I don't know that I can."

  "I'm not a serial killer, you know." He smiled his perfect smile.

  "I know. I would really like to go . . ."

  "What about a video at my grandparents' place? I'm in the basement and it has its own door. They wouldn't know you were there, not that they'd care."

  The truth was I was safer in a movie theater than a basement, but the reality was I could sneak across the street to see a movie. "I could swing that. I just might not be able to commit to an exact time."

  "Well, it's not like I'll be super busy. And I'm sure you'd be worth waiting for."

  Was that a double entendre? What were we talking about? It didn't matter. I was going on a date with Luke. That was all that mattered.

  Dinner the next night seemed endless. My brothers were there with their wives and girlfriends, which only made the hypocrisy chafe harder. It usually didn't bother me. The truth was if the only boys I was allowed to date were boys like my brothers, I'd already decided not to bother. I loved them but they liked their women pretty and compliant. I was way too sassy for a guy like that.

  Finally, the table was cleared and I was allowed to go up to my room. Ours was not a family where your parents came and kissed you good-night; once you were in your room, you were safe. I also knew my brother Tony had an easy way to sneak down the side of the house from his room, which was empty now that he had moved out. So, I freshened my makeup because this was my opportunity to prove I didn't always look like the donut shop girl, fluffed up my hair, and climbed nervously from the second floor. I wasn't worried about getting caught, I was worried about falling.

  I had jeans and Keds and a white T-shirt on. My nails were fire engine red and my lips were as glossy as was legal.

  The Oberlins lived across the street and three houses down. It wasn't far and none of the neighbors saw me. I edged around their house and found the basement door wide open. Luke was sitting on the sofa barefoot in black shorts and a blue T-shirt. He was the cutest I had ever seen him, and that was saying something.

  My presence in the doorway alerted him and he looked up. His eyes met mine and I tried to remember to breathe.

  "You made it!"

  "I did," I said, closing the door behind me. "Nothing like a shimmy down the drainpipe to get the heart pumping."

  I wasn't sure what to do. All of a sudden I was really nervous. I was alone in Luke's apartment and no one knew where I was. It was terrifying and exhilarating.

  I guess my nerves were palpable. "Welcome to my summer residence. As you can see, it is decorated in late twentieth-century castoffs including an ugly vinyl sofa, hideous lace curtains, and a rug I believe my mother made at summer camp."

  "Well, I love what you've done with
it."

  "I do have a fridge, so I can offer you soda or water."

  I opted for a soda. There was a kitchenette against the wall with a fridge, sink, and microwave, and another bench ran parallel, an island if you will. There were two mismatched bar stools and I sat on one.

  "I rented a movie, The Princess Bride, have you seen it?" he asked.

  Had I seen it? It was like the best movie ever. I nodded as I sipped my soda, trying not to dribble it down my chin. "I love it."

  "Great, I haven't but my roommate assured me it was a must see."

  "And where is he this summer?"

  "Actually, he has a real summer residence on a lake in Maine and the lucky devil is working there as a lifeguard." He sighed.

  "You're pretty bored, huh?"

  "Like beyond bored. I can't find a job and I love my grandparents, but I haven't seen them for more than a day at a time since I was ten. This is more togetherness than any of us can handle."

  "Maybe you should have gone to Africa," I suggested.

  "No thanks, I've been there, and while it is very beautiful sitting for hours waiting for a rhino to appear, which is part of their research project, that's kind of dull too after a day or two."

  I couldn't imagine sitting in the African jungle, or was it a savannah, waiting for a rhino. The most exotic place I'd ever been was Florida. Luke was possibly the most interesting person I'd ever met. It confirmed my notion there was a big wide world out there waiting for me beyond the suburbs of Boston.

  "Anyway," he added, "if I'd gone to Africa, I never would have met you." His smile was genuine. I didn't know that I could hold my own against an entire continent.

  "That's very sweet," I said.

  "Come on," he said, extending his hand to me. "Let's watch this movie."

  My whole body was humming. I was going to sit on the sofa and watch a movie with Luke. "As you wish."

  That memory felt as fresh as the day it happened. I was in big trouble. Big, big trouble. I was the sort of girl who talked stuff out, but I had no one to talk to. I could tell Piper and Lucy, but I wasn't sure that was a good idea. I dug out an old address book and found Natalia's number.

  "This is Natalia and George; we can't take your call right now. Leave a message!"

  I didn't leave a message. What was I going to say? Remember Luke from the donut shop who broke my heart? He's back, he's hot, and I'm still not over him. Yeah, that was not happening.

  Chapter 3

  My new gym membership was getting quite a workout. So far, I'd been there three times in three days. I needed to do something to fill the time I usually spent with my friends, not to mention to burn off my new burst of sexual energy. I was hot and sweaty, but I felt pretty good when I drove into the driveway around six that Friday afternoon.

  I didn't expect to see my cousin Aaron's car in the drive, but it wasn't insane that he'd be there to visit my Nona, his great aunt. Nona had softened toward him since he married Piper. His own father, her nephew, was a dirty no good crook who brought shame to the family name, but she seemed to have decided not to paint Aaron with the same brush.

  Nona's kitchen door opened and he appeared in the doorway.

  "Hey, stranger."

  "You saw me a couple of days ago," I said. "What brings you out here?"

  "You do," he said, shutting the door and heading my way.

  "Really, well come on up, but I need five minutes to take a shower."

  "Have you been exercising, Cherie?"

  "As a matter of fact, I have. I'm thirty now and I feel my stamina is slipping. Those open houses the other day opened my eyes to my need for more robust health."

  "O-kay," he said, clearly not convinced. He had good reason. I had not ever really been one for exercise in the past. "Sure, take a shower. I can wait."

  I didn't stop to chitchat. That's the thing with family: no need to worry about pleasantries. Ten minutes later, I was in some shorts and a tank top back in the kitchen with a towel around my head. Aaron had helped himself to a light beer. "Light, seriously?"

  "Sorry, lots of the girls drink light. I don't generally have many men up here."

  "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

  "My sex life?"

  "Not exactly." He took a swig.

  "Spit it out, cuz."

  "The girls have sent me because they think you feel awkward because you know Piper is with me and Lucy is with Chase and . . ."

  "They think I feel like a fifth wheel?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, first of all, why did they have to send you? And I don't." I poured myself a glass of wine. "Well, okay, a little bit but it's more just a matter of adjusting to the new normal and them having less time on their hands. I don't feel left out."

  "But you joined a gym," he said as if that was evidence of my exclusion.

  "I did, but not because you married my cousin or because Chase came along and rescued Lucy. I can assure you of that."

  "Then why?" I didn't want to explain Luke to him. He could definitely keep his mouth shut around the family, but he would also most definitely tell Piper.

  "You do know it is frighteningly narcissistic, or is it egotistical, that they attribute my joining a gym down to their own lives, right?"

  "I do. So, why did you?"

  "I told you."

  "I don't believe you. I mean, I believe it's not because of us but I don't believe the reason you gave either."

  "Don't get all lawyerly on me, Aaron."

  "I don't think that's a word, and, Cherie, I know you could sell ice to an Eskimo, but this Eskimo is not buying it."

  I threw myself down on the sofa and sighed. I loved Aaron and I knew he had my back. When he helped throw his father in jail and his mother fled to Europe, I had his back. I knew he'd have mine.

  "I want to tell you a secret, but I don't want you to tell Piper, and I don't want to put you in that position, so I really can't divulge."

  "You can trust us both, you know."

  "I know. The problem is everyone is now so intertwined, and it makes the sharing of information hard."

  "I get that." He sat next to me. "If you need me to keep a secret, I would."

  "Thanks, it's more that I'd like someone to talk to . . . it's not a desperate situation." I assured him.

  "Sure, but I don't like the idea that this new situation has left you isolated. You've always, and I mean always, been the one person I could tell anything. You knew I liked Piper before she did, and you knew about my dad . . ."

  "I'll tell you what, give me a day or two, and if I still need to talk, I'll call you."

  "Okay, I do do some legal work for you. Maybe it falls under attorney-client privilege."

  I chuckled. "It's not that sort of a problem, counselor."

  "That's lucky. So, we're having a dinner tomorrow night for that work guy who is in town working with the girls. Are you in?"

  I was so not in. I was so far out I'd leave town to avoid it. "I really don't think . . ."

  "Listen, I can tell the girls you're fine but they kind of are going to need to see it for themselves."

  He was right. Of course he was right. "Okay, I'll come, but I expect you to crack some very expensive champagne."

  "Oh, I think I can make it worth your while."

  He stood to go. "Remember, I'm here for you."

  "Thanks." The door closed and I knew he meant it, but somehow I felt more alone than ever. Crap. And I had to go to that stupid dinner. At least I wouldn't be ambushed this time.

  Saturday is the busiest day in real estate. Luckily, I already had a five o'clock hair appointment. I might be tired, I might be the fifth wheel, and I might be wishing I could be anywhere else, but I would have good hair.

  #

  By the time I planted my butt in the hairdresser's chair, I was ready to sleep. I was dead on my feet. This had been the busiest week in my professional career, and I'd been working out. My poor body was in shock.

  Daniella, my hairdr
esser, happily pointed out that I looked exhausted.

  "Thanks, Dan, just what I needed to hear."

  "Girl, I've always been straight with you. Remember that time when you were ten and wore that tube top, and what did I say?"

  "You said, if you want to wear a tube top you better grow boobs."

  "See, I never steer you wrong." She grinned into the mirror from behind. "Big night?"

  Daniella was married with three kids like all good Italian women. "Fancy dinner party. There's a guy who I want to make choke on his own tongue." She didn't need to know why.

  "Enough said."

  By the time I left, my hair was big, my nails were perfect, and my makeup was, well, solid. Daniella didn't do natural but that was okay. Natural was tired with bags under her eyes. This girl looked good. I used her bathroom to change into some tight leather pants and a lacy cream top. The stilettos were cream as was my bag. And I had a fantastic jacket.

  "Look. At. You," Daniella said, her jaw dropping when I came out and did a twirl. "Whoever that guy is, well, he's in serious trouble."

  I hoped so. I was playing a part. I was the Cherie they expected at their dinner—fun, flirty, and fabulous. I hoped Luke would understand that. If he thought I was flirting with him for real, then he would be deluding himself.

  I walked up the stairs to Piper and Aaron's brownstone and felt the burn. I might look like a million dollars but I still felt exhausted. I let myself in the front door as I usually did and called out as I headed down the hallway to the kitchen.

  Aaron was behind the counter doing food prep. I had flowers and chocolates for the hostess who seemed to be missing.

  "Hey, cuz. No Piper?"

  "She had some staffing issue; she'll be here any minute. You look great." He leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Better than in the gym gear."

  "Dude, I rocked the gym gear." I put my offerings down. "You need some help?"

  "That would be great. Can you make a salad?"

  "Can I make a salad? Please don't insult me."

  We bantered about his day and mine as we prepped the food. I wondered if this was what married people did. All the married couples I knew were Italian, and the men did not do much to help in the kitchen. Aaron was only half Italian, and his very waspish mother's genes were clearly strong. This is a nice way to end a day, I thought.