Any Way You Fight It

by Monique McDonell

  Chapter 23

  I was taking Nona and her new fiancé to family dinner. We had agreed the night before on safety in numbers. It was considerably more intimate than last Sunday's brunch. Just my brothers, their wives and kids, my parents, and the three of us.

  As always, the smells of my mother's kitchen met us at the front gate. Garlic, tomatoes, and onions wafted toward us as we got out of the car. I was nervous for them but the elderly couple seemed content and happy. I suspected that they really didn't care at this point what anyone thought. Good for them. Eighty years of following the rules and not upsetting anyone was probably plenty for anyone.

  It took a moment when he entered the house for anyone to even look up and register that something was amiss, that we had a stranger in our midst. Well, not a stranger exactly but an unfamiliar guest.

  Tony's wives raised their eyebrows at me as if to say, "Seriously, you didn't let us know."

  I shrugged as if to say, "What?"

  "You all know my friend, Herb Kaminski," Nona said.

  There was much hopping to feet, hand shaking, etc.

  "Well," said my mother, "this is a surprise."

  I took the plate my Nona was holding and headed to the kitchen with it. As I walked past my father, he gave me a grin. And then I knew it would be okay. It was his mother after all. He'd noticed Luke; maybe he was seeing a whole lot more than I gave him credit for.

  My sisters-in-law were hot on my heels. "She's dating? Get out?"

  "How old are they, that's insane?"

  "They're happy."

  "How long have you known?"

  "A little while. Come on, we need to get back out there."

  Dad was handing around the wine and chatting amiably. Only my mother seemed truly off-kilter.

  "So to old friends." Dad made a toast and we all sipped.

  "Actually, we have an announcement to make," Nona said. "You tell them."

  "Your grandmother and I are engaged."

  Everyone screamed, a happy scream. My mother fell back on the sofa and fanned herself like a character from Gone With the Wind.

  "Isn't this wonderful!" I said.

  Everyone, but my mother, said congratulations. Dad pulled Nona into a hug. "About time," I heard him whisper in her ear.

  My mother didn't say anything, she just headed off to the kitchen. I waved my Nona, who looked set to follow, back and took her spot.

  "Hey, Ma. Big news, right?"

  "Sure." She was standing at the sink, looking out over the garden.

  "She's happy, Ma."

  "You think I don't want her to be happy?" She turned on her heel and looked at me. "I've known that woman my whole life; of course I want her to be happy."

  "So?"

  "You wouldn't understand." She sighed.

  "Try me." I realized my arms were crossed and my body language was anything but welcoming. I flopped down at the kitchen table. "I'm serious. Explain it to me. I want to understand."

  She let out a sigh and sat at the other end of the table from me. "It sounds silly when I say it out loud."

  "I bet it doesn't."

  "Of course I want everyone to be happy. Don't you see how hard I work to make sure everyone has what they want and need?"

  "I do."

  "And yet, I'm the last to know everything. I'm always on the outside. It's you and Nona. It's your father and Nona. It's always don't tell Maria, she'll make a fuss, she'll overreact. No one confides in me, no one comes to me, I'm the last to know everything."

  "Oh, Ma, it's not at all like that."

  "It is, and so then what happens? I push harder. And it just moves everyone further away from me."

  "Ma, no one means to do that. No one's leaving you out."

  "Sure you are. You knew about your grandmother, I didn't. I suspect your father had an inkling . . . do you come to me to talk about Luke? No. You talk to your friends or Nona, maybe even Dad, not me."

  She was right; I did do that. "Okay, I'm sorry. You seem to want things your way or not at all and I can't always do it your way. Sometimes I don't want to be pushed; I want to be heard."

  She looked at me and blinked. "You think I don't listen?"

  I gave her a nod. "You tell me what you think; you don't ask what I think or what I want. It's easier not to discuss things. I'm sorry if that isolates you."

  "Is it the same for everyone?"

  "I can't speak for everyone, but for me, yes, probably for Nona."

  "That's not what I want."

  "That's not what anybody wants, Ma."

  "So instead, you talk to your friends or your grandmother, even your father, but not me?"

  I nodded. "It's not that intentional but that seems to be the outcome."

  "Why didn't anyone tell me?" she said clearly exasperated "All these years . . ."

  "I think it goes back to the not listening thing."

  She let out a long sigh. "What do you really think about the engagement?"

  "He's been in love with her for forty years; I'd say they've waited long enough to be together."

  "Really, wow, that's a really long time."

  "I know, it's very romantic. Like a movie."

  "It kind of is," she said. "I'm still worried he'll take advantage."

  "Has anyone ever taken advantage of Nona? She's pretty formidable. And just think, you won't need to worry about her so much because he can do all the worrying for you."

  "True, your father and I would like to take a trip. I would feel better doing that if she wasn't alone."

  "See . . ." I patted her hand. "It's good news. Now, let's go toast the happy couple."

  "Sure." She got up to leave. "Cherie, please don't keep shutting me out. I'll try to listen more and boss less, but it's going to be hard."

  "I know. We'll both try."

  I embraced her in a hug. I felt bad for her. Her behavior had driven away those she wanted close. I didn't think we'd be able to change our relationship overnight, but it was a start.

  #

  The rest of the meal was actually a very festive affair.

  "So, are you two planning a long engagement?" my brother Anthony asked. He was being a smartass, of course. He figured they were so old that would be unwise.

  "Actually, no. We were thinking of getting married on Thanksgiving weekend," Nona said.

  I did the math; that was only two weeks away.

  "That's so soon." My mother looked stricken, but I gave her the eye and she stopped talking.

  "We already spoke to Father Jim down at the church and that Saturday is free, so we booked it. Everyone will be home for Thanksgiving, and why wait?" Mr. Kaminski patted Nona's hand affectionately. They were like two teenagers in love. I was jealous.

  How embarrassing was that? I was jealous of my own grandmother. Good grief!

  "Well, we'll have to get busy making some plans then," my mother said.

  "Oh yes."

  I was thinking then what I assumed everyone was thinking. Where would they live after?

  I had a feeling my entire world was about to be tipped on its head. The truth was if I was no longer needed to keep an eye on my Nona, then I didn't need to be living over her garage, which meant it was time for me to move on. These newlyweds didn't need me hovering around them. Not that expected them to be walking naked around the house, but I suppose they might want to and I certainly did not want to see that.

  Still, no one asked.

  The world's longest week would end soon, and I would go home, hop into bed, and maybe, just maybe, have a little cry about the fact that my entire world was a big fat mess and I didn't know quite what to do about it.

  I drove home and Nona and I dropped Mr. Kaminski off.

  "That went pretty well," she said to me cheerfully when he was gone.

  "I think that went better than you could have hoped, honestly."

  "Agreed," she said. "And it is a lot to take in for everyone. How are you doing?"

  "I love you. I want you to be happy.
If this is what makes you happy, I'm all in."

  "That's so lovely, Cherie," she said, smiling at me. She was happy I could see it. "Can I ask you a favor?'

  "Ask away." I couldn't imagine denying her anything. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

  Okay, that was maybe the one thing on the planet I didn't want to do but of course I said, "Yes, Nona, I'd be honored."

  Her smile was infectious. "I'm so happy you said yes. You can wear whatever you want, any color, and any style. I don't care. And make sure you invite Luke."

  "Nona, I don't think Luke will be coming back."

  "What? Of course he will." Her smile dropped.

  "I don't think so, Nona. He's running that huge company now, and he has to be there because so many people are relying on him."

  "Aren't you relying on him?"

  "It's not the same, if he drops the ball people like Piper and Lucy will lose their business and their jobs."

  "Why didn't you tell me all this?"

  "You've been busy. I've been busy," I teased. "I guess this wasn't in your visions, huh?"

  She shook her head. "This just isn't right at all."

  "It is what it is," I said, pulling to a stop in her driveway. "Let's focus on you."

  "Ask him for Thanksgiving, honey; don't just assume he has better plans, okay? Be sure and ask."

  "Okay." I could hear her phone ringing in her house. "I think the grapevine is in full action mode. You better go talk to all your relatives. There's going to be a lot of questions."

  She kissed my cheek and gave my hand a squeeze. "Ask him."

  And then she was inside.

  Through the window I watched her laugh into the phone. I really was very glad she was happy.

  #

  I woke up from a dream in which Luke was on a plane and I was trying to chase the plane to get on and go with him but I couldn't. There were no mixed messages in that one. My subliminal mind was screaming at me to do something.

  I got out of bed at five and went to the gym. I might as well get some exercise in if I wasn't sleeping anyway. The treadmill was a great place to make a list of things I needed to do, and I had an app that took notes, so I could talk and walk at the same time.

  My list included: get maid of honor dress, ask Luke to Thanksgiving, hire an assistant, organize bridal shower for Nona, be brave and ask where Nona plans to live after the wedding, decide where I want to live.

  It was quite a list. By the time I had showered and ingested a protein smoothie full of more super foods than anyone should ever eat, it was still only seven thirty. I drove from the gym straight to my office then walked around the corner to Pied Piper's Pies. Inside the kitchen were two new girls. Not Lucy and not Piper.

  "Hey there," I said. "I'm Cherie, are either Piper or Lucy in?"

  One gave me a head shake. "It's their first Saturday to sleep in. I'm expecting Piper around nine."

  "Oh, okay." One more change was afoot. "Let her know I stopped by."

  "Sure thing," the woman said with a smile.

  Yep, everyone's life was changing. Piper and Aaron were happily married. Lucy and Chase were engaged. The girls were moving into management and normal hours, no more four a.m. starts six days a week. No more stopping in for breakfast and an early morning chat for me. Nona was getting married.

  Yep, everyone was embracing change and it was time I did, too.

  I couldn't make Luke come back, and I wasn't ready to leave Boston, but I needed to get some help in my business and free myself up so I could make the most of some of the opportunities life surely had to offer.

  It was time.

  When I got back to my office I checked my old-fashioned Rolodex and pulled out a business card. My old mentor, Saul Sanders, had been suggesting I hire an assistant for years. He'd even suggested a couple of specific women from time to time. I flicked the card between my fingers.

  Was I really doing this? I guess I was.

  He picked up on the second ring.

  "Hey, Cherie, how's it going, honey?"

  "It's great, Saul, you?"

  "You know, can't complain. You're calling early, what's up?"

  I knew he'd be done with his Saturday morning racquetball and be enjoying a coffee before he started his work day.

  "I think it's time to get some help here at the business. I thought maybe we could have a coffee and talk."

  "At last." I could hear the glee. "Sure we can talk. I've got a girl, Caroline Connor, who'd be a great partner for you. She's got a young family, doesn't want to work full time. She's an agent, too. You two would be perfect together."

  "I had thought more on the lines of admin," I told him.

  "Talk to her, Cherie, I think you'll change your mind. You two would be a great team. It's just a meeting. Talk, think, decide."

  He was right. "Okay. Set it up."

  I think maybe I was really doing this. An assistant would have been a leap but another agent. That would certainly free up some time. Maybe I could take a vacation, which I hadn't done since I started the business. I could certainly go to New York again for a couple of days. It was a lot to think about. Today was not the day. I had some open houses to get to. Time to fluff up the hair, slip on the heels, and plaster that smile firmly in place.

  Piper called me, but I didn't get a chance to call her back until I was home on my sofa with a bowl of ramen noodles later that night.

  "Oh my goodness, your Nona is getting married!" Sometimes I forgot she was now part of my extended family and I was not her only source of family gossip.

  "I know, who saw that coming?"

  "Did you know?"

  "I knew she was seeing him. Contemplating marriage, not at all. I don't think they wanted anyone to know."

  I filled her in on their backstory. And we gave a collective sigh for the romance of it all. "That's like you and Luke."

  "Not at all," I corrected. "I'm not happily married to some other guy, am I?"

  "Have you heard from him?"

  "Not for a couple of days. He's in LA and the time difference is not helping. I'm calling him next."

  "You called me first, you still love me," she mocked.

  "Always. I will always love you, Piper."

  "You want to go shopping tomorrow? I need to get some Christmas gifts to mail home to Australia."

  "Sure, you can help me pick my maid of honor dress for Nona's wedding."

  "Get out, you're maid of honor?"

  "Oh yeah, this is the gift that keeps on giving!"

  "I'll meet you outside Filene's at ten."

  "Excellent, now go call your boyfriend."

  "He's not my boyfriend."

  "What should I call him then?"

  "I have no freaking idea."

  Luke answered on the second ring. "At last, I've missed you."

  The sound of his voice brought a smile to my face. I missed that voice and that face. "Hey, yourself. How's LA?"

  "It's okay, really nice weather. I had a meeting down at the beach at Santa Monica today. Dipped my toes in the Pacific."

  "Very nice. It's chilly here now. Not freezing, but it's fall."

  "So, how did the dinner go?"

  "Nona and Mr. Kaminski are getting married Thanksgiving weekend. It is quite the big news around here."

  Like everyone else, Luke expressed his amazement and I filled him on the details.

  "Luke, I don't suppose you are free to come here for Thanksgiving, you know, so I can see you?"

  "I'd love that. Let me check." There was a minute or two's pause while he checked his calendar.

  "Don't feel pressure."

  "No, I think I can, I just need to move something on that Friday. I'm the boss, surely I can do that."

  "Exactly, with great power comes great responsibility and, hopefully, some perks."

  "Yeah, well, the perks seem to be pretty few and far between right now, but I am hoping things settle down soon."

  "They will." I hoped so, too.

  "I know th
is is tough, Cherie, especially as we're just reconnecting, but I need to ask you to have a little faith. We'll find a way through this."

  "We'll see."

  "That does not sound like the comment of a woman with faith," he teased.

  "I'll be honest; I'm not feeling it. Maybe we're just not meant to be. I like you, you like me, but life might have other plans."

  "I know it feels that way, but we'll work it out. I'll be there for Thanksgiving and we will make a plan."

  I wanted to believe, I knew it was stupid, but who doesn't want to believe that their love is going to work out? The truth was I could wait two weeks. Even if it all ended with Thanksgiving and a wedding, well, that would be fine. I hadn't met anyone else in the last ten years who made my insides melt like chocolate, so I didn't think another ten days or so was going to be an issue.

  "Okay."

  "So, it's Saturday night, what are you up to?"

  "Eating noodles on the sofa. It's very glamorous."

  "Yeah, well, I have to go to the Polo Lounge and make nice with some nervous investors. I'd rather be eating noodles with you."

  "Of course you would." I laughed.

  "I'm serious."

  And I knew he was.

  Chapter 24

  I popped in to Nona's before I headed out to meet Piper the next day. I know she'd said I could wear any color I wanted but if she had a preference then now was the time. I hoped I wouldn't find her and her beau in a compromising position, for everyone's sake, but surely, if they'd waited this long I'd be fine.

  Her kitchen smelled like coffee and pastry. And lucky for me, she was alone.

  "Good morning," I said, grabbing a mug and helping myself to a coffee.

  "Hey, Cherie, I just made muffins, you want one? They're blueberry."

  "Muffins, Nona, that's not your usual."

  "My fiancé likes muffins, so I thought I'd make some."

  I took a bite of one of her tall fluffy muffins. As usual, everything the woman cooked was delicious. If the way to a man's heart was through his stomach, her man was hooked for life.

  "So I'm off shopping with Piper today, I'm hoping to find a dress for your wedding." It occurred to me I hadn't asked what she would be wearing. "Have you got a dress, Nona?"

  "You know, dear, I was thinking about that at Mass this morning, in between my prayers of course."