Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  ‘Go to a resort, meet, and have a torrid affair,’ she said.

  Make up fake names, we were instructed, and don’t tell each other what name we chose until we introduced ourselves to one another. He picked Mason, and I picked Kyla on a whim. And then we were supposed to only call each other by the names we gave.

  Pretend to be someone new. Remember what it felt like to be with each other before this burden started weighing us down.

  I thought the idea was crazy, but I was desperate to save what we once had. I was willing to try anything.

  Colin was all in. “‘What could it hurt?’ he had said.

  So, I went with it. I trusted my husband.

  When he sat down with me at the bar, I almost couldn’t do it, but it felt right. Being there with him felt different. Like him and I were two different people. It was exciting.

  And I almost started to believe it. I think at one point in the night I did believe it.

  “We’ll get you unpacked after the tea,” my sister says to me, pouring me a mug and adding a cube of sugar.

  “How do you make your marriage work?” I ask her, sitting on a stool at her kitchen island and blowing onto the liquid in my cup.

  She smiles, stirring her spoon into her own mug of tea. “It isn’t easy. But, when you love each other I think you can work through anything.”

  I wonder if that’s true. Because I do love Colin. Toddler toys scattered about her living room and backpacks discarded in a rush, remind me that one day he might want this life.

  “I just need some time,” I tell her.

  “Take all the time you want, but you can’t escape from it. You will have to face him.”

  I hug my sister. “You’re right.” The thought depresses me, but she is one hundred percent correct— I do need to face him again.

  Our trip was amazing.

  The way he listened. The way he cared. He really does love me. And he deserves the same effort from me.

  “No other man would have probably went along with the crazy idea, huh?” I ask my sister.

  She laughs. “I know Finn definitely wouldn’t.” Then my sister stares me directly in the eyes. “Colin loves you.”

  I know what she’s saying is true. “I love him too.”

  “Then what are you still doing here? Do you know how hard it is to find someone? And you’ve found your one. Like that’s a miracle.”

  I need to see him. This overwhelming pain erupts all over, making the mere thought of losing Colin forever frightening. I have to see him.

  I grab my cell, putting a call in to his. No answer.

  “He’s probably in the air,” Tina says.

  “You’re right. If I leave now, I can make it home before he gets there.”

  “Hurry.”

  I all but peel out of her driveway, trying my best to get to I-95 before rush hour. I need to see Colin.

  Tears flood my eyes as I race home. Home. What was I thinking leaving there? I have a man who loves me, and I’ve been pushing him away.

  I turn into the neighborhood, and drive toward my house. His car isn’t in the driveway when I park, but he should be here soon, so I hustle inside.

  The house is still and quiet when I step into the entryway. And that’s when I see his discarded luggage by the front door.

  “Colin?” I call out.

  No answer. I cross the hardwoods into the kitchen, and see pictures scattered on the island. I walk closer to inspect. Different shots of me at the Mayan ruins stare back at me. Pictures Colin took of me there. Always a photographer.

  I run my fingers over each one. It was tempting to throw myself on that shrine and beg Ixchel to grant me what I’ve always wanted. But, I’m not that naive. I’ve always loved his pictures, the way he can capture each emotion. As much as I tried to hide it, he was able to capture how lost I truly was.

  But not anymore. Where is he?

  He was here and now he left.

  My heart plummets.

  My high crashes.

  One after another, tears fall as I move into the living room and plop down on the leather sofa.

  A car door slams, and I stand, moving to the window to peek through the blinds. Colin.

  “Ava,” he says, entering the house. Two seconds later he’s in the room with me.

  “Where did you go?” I ask.

  “I went to Tina’s to find you.” He flips the light switch on. “What are you doing in the dark?” He folds his arms, leaning against the arched entry to our living room.

  No more hiding in the dark. “I want to talk.”

  “I’m listening.” He doesn’t move, his ocean-colored eyes spearing me.

  I take a deep breath, letting it out ever so slowly before beginning, “I’ve been pushing you away for so long, hoping more than anything it would help with the pain I’ve been feeling.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I felt like a failure with you. That there was something wrong with me. And how could you possibly love a woman who couldn’t give you what you want?” The tears start falling.

  He pushes off the wall and stalks over to me. “You’re all I want, Ava. I’m happy with the life we have.”

  “I want a baby. And the past few years have been a nightmare for us.”

  He wraps his arms around me. “I’m so sorry. You’re not a failure, though.”

  Tears fall down my face. “I just have this vision of us. Of how our life should be…”

  He cuts in, “You need to let go of how you think it’s supposed to be. We need to make our own future.”

  I step back. “Am I even enough for you? Is this…” I hold out my hands, glancing around at our home. “...enough?”

  “Yes,” he says, firmly. “Ava, you’ve always been enough for me. There’s always other ways to have a family. And if we can’t…”

  I gaze up into his eyes. “If we can’t?”

  He shakes his head, pulling me into him. “Doesn’t matter. I’m with you and I’ll be happy with you for the rest of my life. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” I wrap my arms around him. “I just wanted a baby so badly that I pushed you away.”

  “You didn’t have to push very hard. I threw myself into work because I was grieving too,” he says. “But, we have to talk to each other. We have to work on it, together.”

  Another tear trickles down my cheek, and then another. “I can do that.”

  He squeezes my arms gently, staring directly into my eyes. “I missed you so damn much.”

  “I miss you too.”

  And then he kisses me, unlike anything else in this world. Like he’s the sun and I’m the moon, perfect counterparts. And nothing will ever come between us.

  I kiss him back, letting him know I’m not going anywhere. That I’ll never leave him. We may have lost our way for a while there, but we found each other in Cozumel.

  Epilogue

  Ava

  * * *

  “So, how was your trip?” Noel, Dr. Childs, asks us in her office at our first appointment since we’ve returned. “I honestly didn’t know if I would see the two of you back here ever again.”

  I smile, holding onto Colin’s hand. “We had a great time.” I blush a little, thinking about the things Mason did to me in that dark hallway in Mexico.

  “You were able to pretend you didn’t know each other?”

  “Yes,” Colin says, his eyes turning to me as he says the next part, “some of us a little more than others.”

  I blush harder. “I found my husband there.”

  He kisses me.

  I focus my attention on Noel. “I know we still have a lot to work through, but we’re finally for the first time in a long time on the right path to getting back to the way we once were.”

  “That’s the beauty of growing up. You never get back, you simply adjust to the way you are now. Don’t chase the past, instead, plan for your future. Love the person you’re becoming. And love the person your partner is becoming a
s well,” she says.

  Colin places his hand over my knee. “I like that. I guess it’s the beauty of growing old with one another.”

  A tear escapes my eyes. “I’m ready.” And I kiss my husband.

  Extended Epilogue

  Ava

  * * *

  Cozumel was a life changing experience. Sandy beaches. Frozen cocktails. And a sex filled affair to breathe life back into a marriage that I thought was most certainly over.

  I’d like to say that since our trip everything has been perfect, but perfect is boring. And we are not boring. It’s been mostly perfect, though. Sure, we still go to therapy, but I think it’s helping our love grow to an unbreakable bond. He’s stuck with me for eternity.

  Sometimes we reinvent our Cozumel “affair,” and pretend that we are once again Mason and Kyla.

  I like Mason. He’s rough and dirty. But, usually I’m happier being with my husband, Colin.

  “Ava, you home?” Colin calls out from downstairs.

  I peek my head into the hallway. “In the bedroom.” I’ve been waiting for him to get home from work for a while now. It’s our anniversary, and I have big plans for my man.

  I hear him run up the steps, and then he’s at the doorway with a sexy grin on his handsome face. “Is this all for me?” he asks while his eyes drink in my lingerie.

  I’m wearing his favorite color...red.

  This outfit cost a fortune—lace bra and panties with a garter belt and fishnet stockings—but it’s worth it to see the look on his face. His eyes can’t get enough of it.

  “Like what you see, Mason?” I wink at him.

  The smile that lifts his lips nearly takes my breath away.

  “I do, Kyla. Very pretty. Is your little cunt wet for me?”

  I blush a little as he steps closer. Isn’t it a marvelous thing that my husband can still make me blush? I love that he can.

  I lean against the bed with desire running rampant through my veins, and slip a finger inside my panties. “Very,” I tell him.

  He closes the distance and removes my hand, sucking my finger into his mouth, tasting me. He nearly growls before his lips crush against mine. Our tongues dance together, and then he drops kisses, like raindrops, along my neck until I can barely stand.

  He drags his teeth along my collarbone, nipping my skin, and I dig my red-tipped nails into his shoulders, tightening my grip.

  “I need you right now,” he says, removing his shirt with one hand.

  Teasing him, I travel my fingers down the middle of my chest and into the valley between my breast. “Right now, right now?”

  “You’re a bad girl, Kyla.” My nipples harden beneath my bra, and he directs his attention to the snap, undoing it and letting the bra fall off my body. “Now you have to wait.”

  “Please, Mason,” I don’t really know what I’m begging for. I just want him to make me feel so good.

  He shakes his head, tsk’ing me. “Patience.”

  I have none; my insides turn to jelly with each touch of his hands. It’s a beautiful torture, one I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live without.

  He slides my legs open, traveling his hand along my skin as he lays me down on the bed.

  I arch my back.

  He cups my breast, his thumbs running over my pebbled nipples before sucking one, and then the other, into his mouth. “So beautiful.”

  His eyes meet mine, and I feel the connection deep within me. “So very beautiful.” Then his lips are on me again, but this time not on my breasts. No, his mouth travels further south, and I spread my legs for him.

  “I’ve been craving your pussy all day.” He loops his fingers into the delicate fabric of my panties, and slides them, along with the stockings, down my legs.

  He stands, and I watch as he removes the rest of his clothing, until he’s just how I want him—naked. Stunning. Breathtaking.

  And all man.

  And all mine.

  His cock juts forward as he takes a hold of my legs, flipping me onto my belly. I’m so impatient to have him inside me. I try to entice him into hurrying by getting on all fours and pushing back against him.

  His hands roam over my ass, massaging, squeezing each cheek. He finally slides into me from behind, and ahhh, it’s so good.

  His hand wraps around the base of my throat as his lips roam down toward my ear, whispering about how much he loves me. How he’ll never let me go.

  I feel exactly the same, but he already knows that.

  He pushes into me deeper, and I arch my back.

  My heart pulses through my ears, and joins in with the symphony of the sounds of our love making. It fills the room, loud and explosive, letting the universe know we’re meant to be together.

  “Harder,” I pant out.

  He groans, holding my neck in place, while his lips travel until they meet my mouth. He kisses me raw and hungry, like a woman deserves to be kissed.

  How a woman should pray to be kissed.

  The beauty of sex is simple, but powerful all the same. It’s like we’re creating something together here in this moment.

  From a single touch of the lips our love creates a tiny flame which ignites the whole world on fire.

  My body tenses, my orgasm coming all too soon. I try to stop the sensations, so I can revel in this time with him a bit longer. But, when his fingers find my clit, I’m a goner. I push against him, feeling him so deep inside me, and he holds me, so tight, through my orgasm, I swear he’ll never let go.

  And I don’t want him to.

  He pumps a few more times, and then he’s joining me on the other side of glory.

  We may have lost our way once, but never again.

  More on Logan Chance

  The Playboy Series

  PLAYBOY

  HEARTBREAKER

  STUCK

  LOVE DOCTOR

  * * *

  The Me Series

  DATE ME

  STUDY ME

  SAVE ME

  BREAK ME

  * * *

  Sexy Standalones

  TAKEN

  WE ALL FALL DOWN

  THE NEWLYFEDS

  GRAHAM

  * * *

  Steamy Duets

  THE DECEIT DUET

  THE BOSS DUET

  * * *

  The Cold Hearted Series

  COLD HEARTED BALLER

  COLD HEARTED BASTARD

  * * *

  Box Sets

  A VERY MERRY ALPHA CHRISTMAS

  ME: THE COMPLETE SERIES

  FAKE IT BABY ONE MORE TIME

  * * *

  Logan Chance is a USA Today and Top 20 Amazon Bestselling Author with a quick wit and penchant for the simple things in life: Star Wars, music, and smart girls who love to read. He was nominated best debut author for the Goodreads Choice Awards in 2016. His works can be classified as Dramedies (Drama+Comedies), featuring a ton of laughs and many swoon worthy, heartfelt moments.

  * * *

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  Perspective by Jenna Hartley

  JENNA HARTLEY

  * * *

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  Prologue

  Kate

  * * *

  If I’d ever wondered what it was like to stand naked in front of a room full of strangers, I was about to find out.

  Why am I doing this again? I asked myself as I climbed onto the dais, wrapped only in a thin, silk robe.

  Oh, right. I glanced toward the ceiling—because I was trying to be more daring, less concerned with what other people thought.

  People like my parents.

  The only thing they cared about was appearances—attending the right schools, wearing the latest designers, dating the right guys.

  All my life, I’d been the dutiful daughter, but I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t be who they wanted me to be, date who they wanted me to date. But I couldn’t tell them that. Just like I couldn’t tell
them I’d dropped out of my premed program at UCLA to enroll in art school. That I was giving up their dreams for me of becoming a doctor to pursue my own.

  People shifted, chatting among themselves as they set up for class. I tried not to look at all the students, male and female, who formed a circle around me. Instead, I attempted to focus on their materials. The canvases and easels, the paints and brushes. To them, I wasn’t a naked body to be objectified or even judged. I was a collection of shapes to be represented in two-dimensional form. An assignment to be completed.

  I knew all this, knew it from my own experience of being on their side of the easel. But…yeah. Being the artist was a heck of a lot easier than being the model. Even though you were still baring a part of yourself through your art, it felt safer somehow, more controlled. As the artist, I decided what I shared—and what I didn’t.

  I inched back toward the stool, nearly stumbling to the floor in the process. My cheeks heated, and I laughed nervously as I attempted to sit again. I crossed my legs and arms, feeling a bit naked despite my robe as we waited for the professor to arrive.

  When I’d signed up to model, my decision to pose nude had seemed exciting, reckless. Rebellious. But now… I swallowed. Now, I thought I might be sick.

  Faced with the reality of disrobing in front of fifteen or so of my peers plus a professor. A professor who had yet to arrive. Which meant… My eyes darted to the door, and I stood. I itched to run, yet my feet remained firmly planted on the ground.

  I was seriously having second thoughts when the door swung open and a tall man strode into the room. His dark curly hair shone beneath the lights, and I sucked in a breath when our eyes met. His were the most piercing blue I’d ever seen. I stared, my mind churning with how I could recreate that color with paint. It was probably an impossible task—I’d never seen a color quite like it. But I knew I had to try.