Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  “You’re like a therapist’s dream and I’m a basket case. How did we come out of the same situation so differently?”

  She laughs. “I guess I’m just the better sister.”

  I knock her with my shoulder, and we laugh.

  “But Enzo?” She doesn’t stop with her psych analysis. “I get why you’re mad. What he did wasn’t right, but I think you both let the out-of-work relationship affect your work relationship. You need to talk to him.”

  I nod, but I honestly have no plan at this point.

  My phone dings in my purse, and Beth grabs the phone and hands it to me. “Call him.”

  I hold it in my hands, and it dings again.

  Jake’s name flashes on the screen.

  * * *

  Jake: Enzo just quit. What the hell happened today?

  I leave Beth’s and arrive at Enzo’s condo. The sun is dipping below the horizon and the summer nights are becoming chilly, but his lobby is toasty warm.

  “Hi, Jeb,” I say, before stepping into the elevator.

  “Miss Stewart.” The doorman nods. “He just returned.”

  “Thank you.”

  My stomach rumbles with emotions as the elevator rises up to Enzo’s floor. His hallway is quiet, as it usually is, and I knock on his door. I’ve done this hundreds of times, but I can’t help but worry this is the last time I’ll ever be here.

  Enzo opens the door, his shirt unbuttoned and his tie loose around his neck.

  “Annie,” he says, thick emotion coating every syllable of my name.

  “Can I come in?”

  He slides to the side, opening the door more.

  “Jake messaged me. You can’t quit.” I leave my jacket on and my purse hangs from my shoulder.

  “I can, and I did. It’s done.” He heads into his kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”

  I’m not sure what I thought would happen right now, but this awkward tension between us sucks. I rehearsed my speech on the way over, so I might as well get it out. “About today…”

  He shuts his fridge door and puts his fingers against my mouth. “It’s on me. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you beforehand. It was wrong of me. I’m really sorry.”

  My shoulders fall and I stare into his eyes. How easy would it be to forgive him and move on?

  “I can’t say I’m not upset. You should’ve told me, and I still think we should have presented all three ad campaigns, but I see where I probably took it more personally because of our relationship.” I step away from him because I’ll never be able to do this with him so close.

  “We’ll have to agree to disagree on presenting all three ideas.”

  “Your apology doesn’t hold any weight?” The anger from before resurfaces. Maybe it’s too early to be here discussing this. I should’ve gone home.

  “I apologize for not telling you I made the decision ahead of time, but not for pitching the best idea.” He crosses his arms.

  “Okay…” I draw out the word, annoyance wrapping around me like barbed wire. I hope he doesn’t veer close to me again. He’s liable to end up cut by my sharp edges right now.

  “Look, I have the final say. I’m—was—the senior ad exec, and I did what I thought was best for the client.”

  I inhale a deep, calming breath, not wanting to devolve into the same argument we had earlier. We’re not going to agree on this. “I don’t want you to quit. If anything, you should be partner.”

  “Mr. Jacobson offered me the partnership. I declined it. I don’t want to work for that company, and Annie…” He lightly grasps my hand. “You need to leave. You’ll never get where you should be if you stay there.”

  I stare at him, waiting for more information.

  After a few seconds, he continues. “There’s no future for you at Jacobson and Earl. I didn’t want you to go to Houston to work for Blair, but I should’ve told you my suspicions sooner. Mr. Jacobson is a sexist asshole who will keep you down.”

  I pull my hand away from his. “What do you mean you should have told me sooner?”

  He blows out a breath and runs his fingers through his hair. “I like what we have. I didn’t want you to leave and move to Houston.” His voice loses the edge of arrogance it had earlier. Now, it’s full of regret.

  “Enzo, what exactly are you saying?”

  “I had a meeting with him weeks ago and got the feeling then that he might not be on board with promoting you. I knew they were dragging their feet on making you a junior ad exec, but I didn’t know the half of it until today. That’s why I quit. I won’t work for a man like that.”

  I stumble back a step. “After I blew any future at Coddle? That’s when you decide to tell me? Was this whole thing a ploy? Only present your ad, I get mad and storm out, we fight in your office. All to make me look unprofessional so she doesn’t want me? So you can win?”

  “What? No. I just wanted to keep you with me. I’m sorry.” His eyes plead for me to understand.

  I shake my head. “My life isn’t a game. If you truly cared for me, you would’ve told me I was being used. Hell, I came up with the entire tampon ad myself and you let me. You let that company profit from me, knowing they didn’t value me.”

  I stomp over to his door and start to swing it open, but his palm slams it shut above my head.

  His big body cages me between him and the door. “I’m starting my own company. Come with me. We’ll be partners.”

  If it were yesterday, I’d have jumped in his arms and said let’s do it. But too much has happened now. “I’m not sure we should work together,” I say to the door.

  His mouth lowers to my ear. “I love you. I know my actions are far from showing that right now, and I get I was being selfish, but you’re the first woman to ever make me feel whole. I can’t bear to lose you.”

  I close my eyes, a lone tear falling. “I’m not a pawn that you win by outplaying someone else. I’m not sure you understand what love is.”

  I open the door and he slams it shut again, neither of us moving.

  “Don’t do this. Don’t throw away what we have.”

  “I need some space,” I whisper.

  This time when I open the door, he steps back, allowing me to walk through. I feel his eyes on me as I walk down the hall, and when I turn around in the elevator, he stands in the hallway, watching me while the doors of the elevator shut between us.

  It feels so final that I collapse to the floor and sob.

  Chapter 37

  Enzo

  * * *

  I flag the waitress down while jotting notes about my latest prospect into my notebook. “Another.”

  “You look like shit.” Carm runs the back of his hand down my beard. “Bonus points on that fucking beard though.”

  “He’s in denial. Thinks changing his look will make him forget.” Dom piles a forkful of lobster mac and cheese into his mouth.

  “If I don’t grab these clients quick, Jacobson will act faster, and they have a helluva lot more resources than I’m offering.” My phone dings with a voicemail, and I pick it up to listen.

  “I think it’s great that you went out on your own, but you need to get your shit together,” Carm says.

  I shake my head, telling him to be quiet. Blair from Coddle is more important than his whining. I’ve been fishing for Coddle to follow me, though I assumed they would pull their marketing in-house after Annie reached out to Blair. I’ve put out some feelers to see if she took the job, but since she apparently hasn’t contacted Blair since D-day, I asked for a meeting.

  Shit. The message is just from the dry cleaners, letting me know the clothes I dropped off weeks ago are still there, waiting to be picked up. I hit End on the call.

  “How many clients do you have now?” Dom asks, clearly only caring about me shoving it to Jacobson and Earl.

  “Five, but if I can get Coddle, that’s huge.”

  Carm slaps my back. “Way to distract yourself from the real problem at hand.”

&nbs
p; “Let it go,” Dom says to Carm.

  “What? He told her he loved her, and she walked out on him. How easy would it be for you to let it go?”

  They’ve clearly been talking behind my back.

  “We’re not chicks. We don’t talk feelings.” Carm pushes away his own plate, sipping his beer. “You’re Enzo Mancini, man. Come out with me, and I’ll help you forget all about Annie.”

  Just hearing her name is enough to make me want to drown myself in another bottle of scotch. I don’t quite remember the first night after I told her I loved her, and she walked out on me.

  My brothers can’t understand that I have to distract myself because her power is too strong. They don’t know how it feels to have sex with someone you care about. How being with the same person time and time again brings benefits one-night stands don’t.

  Well, I guess Dom might get that, but something tells me a woman who throws your clothes at you the minute she comes is not a girl who wants to give you maximum pleasure with a blow job.

  They don’t understand how lazy Sundays are the fucking best. And that after you leave work, there’s a pit of exhilaration in your stomach because you get to spend time with her. How waiting to hear what comes out of her mouth next, even if she razzes you, has you on pins and needles.

  “Let’s just call a spade a spade. You’re lovesick. So take five minutes away from building your empire and deal with it,” Dom says.

  “You’re crazy. Forget her. Though I did enjoy her. She plays a killer game of rock, paper, scissors.” Carm crosses his arms and stares across the table at me.

  “There you go. Let’s play to see if you go after her.”

  I throw my napkin at Dom. I’m drawing the line there.

  “Seriously, talk to us. What’s going on in that head of yours?” Dom asks.

  Carm leans his arms on the table, apparently intrigued to hear my answer.

  I shrug. I don’t really have anything to say. For the first time in my life, I have no idea what the fuck to do. “She’s mad and I don’t blame her.”

  “Make her forgive you,” Carm says. “I’m charming. I’ll go with you. She won’t be able to turn you down.”

  I shake my head at his stupidity. Definitely not in the mood today.

  “If you want her back so much, win her over. You’re Enzo Mancini, for fuck’s sake. Pick yourself up and fight for her.” Carm’s voice rises, and the people beside us shift their attention our way.

  I’m drowning myself in work to keep from thinking of her. I’m well aware I want her in my bed and in my kitchen and by my side every minute of every day.

  “What if she says no?” My voice cracks because the idea guts me. I told the woman I love her—the only woman I’ve ever uttered those words to—and she walked out.

  “Okay, I’m giving this to you straight. I’ve been nice enough up until now.” Dom puts down his fork, which means he’s serious. “You love her. I know it sucks, but it happens to men every damn day. Don’t tell Ma, but I pray every night and you know what I pray for? I pray not to fall in love. I don’t want some woman leading me around by the balls. But it’s like catching the flu—you caught it, so you need to grin and bear it. This working twenty-four seven isn’t masking your depressed eyes. You already look like a lovesick puppy dog. Like all she’d need to do is waltz in here, attach a leash to your neck, and you’d wag your tail, happy she took you back.”

  “This is a pep talk?” I ask.

  “What I’m saying is that I saw you at your condo with her. I knew it was over then. You were a goner and off the market. Own it and do something to keep it. Carm’s right, you’re being a weasel. Embrace your love for her and win her back. That’s how you get your man card back.” He picks up his fork to dig back into his meal.

  Carm laughs. “Hey, odds were that it had to happen to one of us and looks like it’s you. Sorry, not sorry.” He slaps my back.

  I sit up straighter, pushing my beer aside. I slide off the stool to go do something, anything, when I run right into a girl from Jacobson and Earl.

  “Hey…” I say, trying to remember her name.

  “Mae,” she deadpans, not impressed that I couldn’t place her.

  “Sure, nice seeing you. Take care.” I give her a half smile and push past her.

  “Things aren’t the same at Jacobson and Earl without you and Annie,” she says as I pass.

  I stop in my tracks and turn back to her. I remember her now, outside talking to Annie and smelling the flowers. She was in the copy room too.

  Wait, did she say without me and Annie?

  She did it. She took control of her future, which makes her so much sexier than she already was. The new information wraps around me, and a proud feeling warms my chest because I know she’ll make it big somewhere.

  “Where is she?” I ask.

  She smiles. “Who?”

  “Hello, introductions, Enzo,” Carm interrupts, but I put out my palm.

  “Annie. You’re her friend, right?”

  “I am, and I’m sorry, but she’d be mad if I gave you that information.” She’s acting coy as though she’s trying to see how far I’ll push. Is she here on purpose or is it an accident that we’ve run into each other?

  “I know where she lives.”

  Mae shrugs. “She’s not there.”

  “Beth’s?”

  “Hey, I’m Carm, his brother.” Carm puts his hand out to her.

  She shakes it.

  “I know you want to tell me. So come on.”

  “I was having lunch with her, and she had to leave to talk to the head of Coddle.”

  “Coddle?” Finally. She made her move. I’m not even that upset that it means losing what would’ve put my new company on the map.

  “Yeah, but she’s turning down the offer because she fell in love with some guy and she doesn’t want to ruin his new company or some shit like that.” She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows, questioning what I’m going to do to fix this.

  “She’s declining their job offer because…”

  “Yeah. I told her she was stupid and that Coddle probably won’t even pick you.” She’s smug. I like that she sought me out because we’re on the same page—Annie needs to take the Coddle position.

  “How did you know where to find me?” I ask.

  She rolls her eyes. “Please. I had to listen to her go on and on through our entire lunch about how she knew where you had lunch on Thursdays, and it would be so easy to go there and see you.”

  A small smile tilts my lips. “Where is she now?”

  “Lancaster’s. They had a layover, so she was running over there.”

  I turn to run out of the restaurant but head back. “Thank you.”

  “Go!” Her eyes widen.

  “Have a seat,” Carm says as I run out to hail a cab.

  Lunchtime in Manhattan isn’t the easiest time to get to Lancaster’s. A cab pulls up to the curb after a minute and I debate walking, looking at the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the street. Instead, I head down the subway stairs. I can’t even remember the last time I rode the subway. It’s been so long that I have to check the routes to make sure I’ll end up where I need to be.

  Standing in the underground train, I hold the silver pole and pick up my phone to call her. She doesn’t answer. Probably because it’s me.

  The train stops and a swarm of kids file in, laughing and jumping. Two adults try to rein them in, putting them on available seats. One kid stares at me. I smile, and he flips me off. What the hell? He’s, like, six.

  I look away. Finally, a lifetime of screaming later, it’s my stop. The doors open and I fly out and up the stairs. Lancaster’s is across the street, but I don’t bother with the crosswalk. I jet across the street, dodging a taxi that should have had me as a hood ornament.

  Safely on the other side, I open the doors of the restaurant.

  “Can I help you?” the hostess asks as my eyes scour the room.

  “No. I’m good.”<
br />
  Blair sees me first, signaling Annie to turn around. She swivels in her chair and I’m not sure what look I expected, but the one on her face isn’t what I was hoping for, that’s for sure.

  Chapter 38

  Annie

  * * *

  Blair nudges me and nods at the door behind me. I turn to look and find Enzo walking right toward us. There’s a sheen of sweat along his forehead and he’s heaving for a breath, but he’s here.

  Why is he here?

  I stand and place my hand on his chest. His heart beats against my palm.

  “Not now,” I say.

  “Whatever she told you, she’s wrong,” he says to Blair.

  I jut out my hip. “I am?”

  “Take me off the table. I don’t want the Coddle account, so…”

  Blair leans back and smiles.

  “Take the job, Annie. You deserve it.” For the first time since he arrived, he pins me with his caramel eyes, and it takes me a minute to get my footing.

  “But—”

  “No. How many times have I told you to take what’s yours? Take what you deserve. Everything that went down is bullshit. We’re talking about your career, and the best place for you to be is with Coddle.”

  I look away. “It would be your biggest account. You quit because of me.”

  “I quit because Mr. Jacobson isn’t a man I feel comfortable working for. Maybe I ignored the earlier signs because I was blind to it. Maybe I only saw it because I fell in love with you and I was pissed at the way he was treating you. I can’t say for sure, but you’re not to blame.”

  “But—”

  “Stop with the buts.” He puts his finger under my chin. “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I should’ve presented all three ads. I told you I would, and I went back on that.”

  “No, you were right. You were the senior ad exec.”