Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  We’re almost at the door when it opens and Ollie fills the frame. “Where the hell have you guys been? I’ve been calling you for hours.”

  Ollie came back early.

  Fucking fantastic.

  Because . . . Julia and I haven’t talked about what we’re telling her brother about our trip.

  I rub my chin, hoping we’ll get a free pass by some miracle and won’t have to answer his question until later. So instead of answering his question . . . “What are you doing here? I thought you were on vacation for another week.”

  Ollie is close to my six-two and has the same brown hair and brown eyes as Julia. Right now, my best friend’s gaze ping-pongs between me and his sister, and the last thing I need is for him to get suspicious. “Cora got a last-minute job offer she couldn’t refuse so we came back early.”

  Julia is the first to jump back into action as she walks over to him and gives him a hug. “Sorry about your vacation, but I’m glad you’re home.”

  He looks at me over her shoulder, a million questions in his eyes.

  It’s weird to feel this guilt inside my stomach toward Ollie when, at the same time, I know this weekend with Julia was one of the best weekends of my life.

  Talk about conflicting thoughts.

  Ollie finally looks away from me and gazes at his sister, his gaze softening. “Good to see you, kiddo. It’s been too long.”

  “I know, I know.”

  The exchange between them makes me realize that nothing much has changed. Even though Julia is only two years younger, Ollie has always felt responsible for her. He’s always been a bit overprotective but even more so since their parents’ death. We never really talked about it, but I know how agonizing it was for him to see his sister in so much pain.

  His eyebrows draw together as he studies her face. “Are you feeling all right? You don’t look very good.”

  She huffs once. “Thanks.”

  Ollie waves off her reply. “You know what I mean, Jules. You look beautiful, as always, just like you don’t feel well. Are you sick?”

  She shakes her head at him, and I can tell she’s trying to give him a smile. “I’m just pooped, that’s all. I talked Carter into taking me to Vegas with him. And well, you know how crazy Vegas can get, and I’m definitely no party animal, so I just need some sleep. Do you mind if we catch up tomorrow?”

  It’s easy to tell he’s unhappy by the way he’s pressing his lips together, but he nods regardless. “Of course. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Will do, thanks.” She kisses him on the cheek and walks into the house without looking back.

  My best friend’s eyes are back on me the second she’s out of sight, trying to bore holes into my head. “You took her to Vegas? What the fuck, CJ?”

  Ollie is the only one who still calls me by my old nickname. When we were younger, he envied that Carter James makes cool initials whereas his Oliver Parker doesn’t lend itself to any initials worth mentioning, at least not to him.

  I exhale loudly, needing to buy some time to think about this whole fiasco. “Let’s go inside and I’ll explain. But first I need a shower.”

  “Fair enough. You know where to find me when you’re done.” The words are barely audible as he turns around to disappear into the house.

  Of course, I know he’s heading straight for his office. Ollie and I are both workaholics, which is one of the reasons we started our company earlier than we’d initially planned. We knew we could handle the pressure and would put in the necessary hours.

  Now, I just need to figure out what to tell him so he won’t be suspicious. The last thing I need is him on my ass.

  I stay in the shower for much longer than I need to since facing Ollie doesn’t sound appealing in the slightest. Not just because I still have no clue what to tell him, but also because it’ll be hard to hide my thoughts from him when the memories with his sister are still so fresh. I was supposed to have time to adjust before he got back.

  When I walk out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, Julia’s standing in front of my bookshelf, looking at the few pictures I have on it. She doesn’t turn around as I make my way over to her, even though I’m sure she heard me come in. When I stop a few feet behind her, I’m close enough to smell the scent of her freshly washed hair. It smells tropical, almost like one of those piña coladas she had after dinner last night. The sweet taste of coconut and pineapple on her tongue. Something that will forever remind me of her. Something I’d really love to taste again.

  She points to one of the frames before slowly turning around. Her voice is soft, a gentle smile on her face. “I almost forgot about that Halloween.”

  I frown and put one of my hands on my chest in fake shock. “How could you possibly forget that? We were the Three Musketeers, for crying out loud.”

  She swats me lightly on the arm, lingering on my skin for a moment longer before she lets her fingers drop back to her side. “I said almost.”

  Looking past her, I glance at the picture. It’s one of my favorites. It was the last year we were all in middle school. We wore giant hats and blue tabards, accompanied by the goofiest smiles on our faces. Once Ollie and I moved on to high school, our little group wasn’t the same anymore. Going to different schools was an enormous change for us and our group dynamic but unavoidable.

  Julia remains quiet, which enables my brain to go wild, recalling images of her naked on my bed, spread out and eager to be devoured like she was last night. But with Ollie a few doors down, waiting for me, that option isn’t in the cards right now. Not that I’m certain she’d be up for it anyway, especially after she practically ran away from me earlier when we got back.

  So instead, I snap out of my little fantasy and clear my throat. “So, what’s up?”

  Her fingers go up to touch her lips as she avoids my gaze. “Just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page with our story. From the way Ollie looked, he’ll roast both of us.”

  I nod even though she still isn’t looking at me. “He definitely didn’t look happy.”

  “Nope, so we need to be careful. I don’t want any fighting, especially since we have to share a house for the time being.”

  I nod again, starting to feel like a dumbed-down version of myself that isn’t capable of forming clear thoughts or sentences. “Makes sense.”

  Yup. Point proven.

  Let’s try this again.

  I exhale slowly, and she finally looks at me. “Do you have anything specific in mind you want to tell him?”

  “The truth would probably be best. I asked to tag along on your business trip because I didn’t want to be alone, and since I hadn’t been to Vegas, we stayed an extra day to do some more sightseeing.” She chews on her lips, and I clench my hands before I take her spot to nibble on her gorgeous mouth. “We’ll just leave out the bit about us, you know?”

  Her statement pulls me out of my lust-filled mind. She makes me feel like a damn teenager who can’t think about anything other than getting his hands on the pretty girl.

  Again.

  A smile forms on my face when her tongue darts out to lick her lips and she crosses and uncrosses her arms. The sight of her squirming in front of me does something to me.

  Most of all though, I want her close and for her to be okay.

  Before I think about it, I open my arms. “Come here, Jules. Let’s hug out the awkwardness. I can’t stand this nervous tension between us.”

  It’s mostly her, but I keep that to myself.

  Uncertainty is written all over her face, in the way her gaze still doesn’t connect with mine for more than a second, or the way her forehead wrinkles. But after a moment, she finally steps closer, and I wrap my arms tightly around her before she has a chance to change her mind.

  A small sigh escapes her mouth, and I close my eyes, telling myself to keep calm, especially when I feel her breath on my skin, knowing how dangerously close her lips are to my chest.

  My naked chest, since I’m stil
l standing here in only a towel.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Her sweet scent. Her soft skin. Her hands on my body.

  After a few more seconds of her delectable curves pressed to my body, I’m one hundred percent positive this was an awful idea.

  Absolutely terrible.

  Not even two seconds after my towel starts tightening around my hips, Julia startles in my arms. She felt it too.

  Taking a step back, she presses her lips together. “Might be better to put on some clothes.”

  “Yeah, probably.” Since I don’t want to make her uncomfortable, or this situation any harder for us—pun not intended—I grab my clothes and make quick work of putting them on, painfully putting away my protesting body part.

  Too bad we can’t always have what we want.

  Julia raises her hand as if to touch me before clasping it with her other one. “So, we’re all good then?”

  From the looks of it, she’s struggling with the no-touching relationship like I am.

  I’m sure it’ll take a few days before it goes back to normal.

  At least that’s what I hope, or we’ll be screwed when Ollie figures it out.

  Speaking of the devil.

  His knock barely registers before he pokes his head into the room. He frowns when he sees Julia next to me, and I can’t blame him. He wasn’t here this last week. The last time he saw us together in more than just passing must have been years ago.

  He narrows his eyes, looking back and forth between us before settling on his sister. “What are you doing in here? Everything okay?”

  Julia must be the worst actress ever, because she’s already struggling to come up with an answer. I inwardly groan, already imagining the major ass-kicking I’ll receive from my best friend. But part of me is also a little pissed. Ollie knows I’d never do anything to hurt his sister, and that’s why he’s always trusted me with her in the past. Just not to sleep with her . . .

  Thankfully, she regains her composure and gives him a hopeful smile. It looks a bit shaky to me, but Ollie seems to buy it. “Oh yeah, everything’s fine. I was just talking to Carter about the date I have this week. He saw the guy last week when we went to the gym together.”

  I’m not sure whose eyes are bigger, Ollie’s or mine.

  “You went to the gym?” He looks at me for confirmation and somehow, I manage a nod.

  It’s funny he reacts to that fact first before inquiring about the date, and it’s easy to tell by the pinched expression on Julia’s face that she isn’t too happy about it either. At least she doesn’t look nervous anymore, so that’s a good thing.

  Ollie starts laughing, and I can’t help the chuckle that passes my lips.

  Julia shoots us nasty looks before she pulls back her shoulders. “Yes, I went to the gym. And before you ask your next stupid question, yes, I have a date. And I sure as hell will enjoy it.”

  With another glare aimed at both of us, but definitely remaining longer on me, she storms out of the room. The angry swish of her hips makes her ass look fantastic— Wait, she’s actually going on a date with the gym douche?

  What the hell?

  Chapter 15

  Julia

  Avoiding both my brother and Carter for the rest of the night gave me enough time to cool off. It also made one thing crystal clear: the faster I can get this conversation with my brother over with, the better. Which is the reason I’m staring at him first thing in the morning, even though I haven’t had a cup of coffee yet. Since that’s the only way to catch him before he heads into the office, I’ll endure the torture.

  The same frown he wore yesterday is still on his face, making me feel like a teenager about to get a lecture.

  Shutting his laptop, he clears his throat, and looks up at me from his chair. “Well, I spoke to CJ last night, and he confirmed your Vegas story.”

  My gaze flicks upward, and I’m moments away from flipping him off. I get that he’s protective of me, always has been, even more so since our parents died, but I don’t think he actually realizes how bad it is sometimes. “Oh jeez. Thanks a lot, Sherlock. I didn’t realize I was being investigated.”

  He has the decency to look a little awkward after my response, which is something. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”

  “I think so too, Ollie. You need to get over this. I’m not a little girl anymore. I know you’re worried about me and want to make sure nothing bad happens to me, and I really appreciate that. But I’m old enough to make my own decisions, even if they’re bad ones sometimes. If I want to go to Vegas and marry a stranger or have wild monkey sex with someone, then that’s up to me and not you.” I pretty much blurt out the last sentence without taking a breather, or thinking about it, and wish I could take back the words, but it’s too late for that now.

  Thankfully, he cringes and his face turns slightly red, which might actually be a good thing.

  When he opens his mouth to speak, I lift my finger to silence him. “Let me say one more thing before you go off on me. I know you mean well, I really do, probably more than you’ll ever know, but you need to trust me to live my life the way I want to. And if I need you, I always know where to find you.”

  His face still hasn’t returned to his normal shade, but the look in his eyes has softened. He lets out a deep breath before getting up from his chair to walk around the glass desk, stopping a few feet in front of me. “I’m sorry for being too invasive and abrasive. Everything that concerns you freaks me out. I know it’s often irrational, but the thought alone of you being hurt, or worse, losing you too, is just too much. The fact that I haven’t seen much of you since Mom and Dad died probably hasn’t helped either.”

  Guilt pushes heavily on my chest, making me wish I could go back in time and change the way I dealt with things. But I can’t. This conversation has been way overdue for many reasons.

  “I know it sounds controlling when I say things like that, but I’d really like to know what’s going on with you and what you’re up to. Not every minute of course, just in your life in general. You mean the world to me. I want the relationship we once had, because it kills me not to have that anymore.”

  The back of my throat tightens before he’s even done with his last sentence. My stomach rolls like it might get sick, but I close the distance between us and throw myself at him, tears already streaming down my face. “I’ve missed you too. I’m so incredibly sorry I shut down over the past years. I didn’t know how to deal with losing them, and I honestly didn’t even realize how bad it’s gotten until Nate broke things off and I spent some time with Carter. It was like a light bulb turned on in my head, showcasing how little I actually enjoyed life and how much I’d changed. Carter has been a really big help.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” Carter’s voice comes from the doorway, startling both of us. “What am I missing here, and why was I not invited to this party?”

  Despite the mess both my brother and I are—me all snotty with swollen eyes, and my brother with misty eyes too—we chuckle. I can’t remember how many years it’s been since all three of us have had a moment like this together, which is incredibly sad. The fact I’ve missed out on so much cannot compare to the happiness I’m feeling right now over having this puzzle put back together in my life. I’m definitely more than ready and excited to get my old self and life back.

  “Come here, you big oaf.” I open my arms wider so we can turn this into a group hug.

  This feels good, just like old times. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed them.

  We pull back after a few moments when both guys start squirming, but we have the same smiles on our faces. Seems like I’m not the only one who missed our trio.

  Ollie presses a kiss to my temple. “I’m glad we got that all cleared up. We can talk about it some more later if you want to.” Then he turns to Carter. “Did you want anything?”

  His eyes widen. “Oh yeah. Cora called me. She said she couldn’t reach you, but she got a phone call about yesterday’s au
dition. It looks like the job is hers, so she wants you to pick her up at seven tonight to celebrate.”

  “Nice.” Ollie’s lips part in a grin. “I knew she’d get it.”

  When was the last time I saw him this happy?

  Definitely not since we lost Mom and Dad. It’s easy to see how much he likes his girlfriend, which makes me happy but also makes my chest hurt. He didn’t really tell me about her, but I know I can only blame myself and my withdrawal from life for that. “You really like her, don’t you?”

  His gaze meets mine, and I’m sure he’s fully aware that I know little about her and their relationship. “I do.”

  “I’m glad. What does she do that she goes to auditions? Is she an actress?” I cringe a little at the idea of my brother dating an actress. Growing up in Southern California has exposed us to a lot of actors and actresses, and we’ve had more bad run-ins than good ones all together.

  Both him and Carter chuckle.

  “Nope, not an actress. CJ and I have had our fair share between us, and we figured out quickly they weren’t the best fit for us.”

  The sharp pang in my gut at hearing about Carter’s casual dating life takes me by surprise, but I need to ignore it. There really is no point thinking about it. I know he’s a serial dater and not after any sort of commitment.

  But I might need a few more days to adjust to hearing about his conquests. And who he’ll be sleeping with next.

  My brother touches my arm as I will the burning sensation in the back of my eyes to go away. “You okay there, Jules? You’re suddenly a little pale.”

  Man, I need to get my act together.

  I wave him away. “Everything’s good, sorry. I didn’t get a good night’s sleep, so I’m a little tired.” Pulling at the hem of my shirt, I try and stir the conversation away from me. “So, back to your mystery lady. What kind of job does she have? And why in the world haven’t I heard more about her yet?”

  His whole demeanor changes, a silly grin curving his mouth. Even his eyes look shinier. “She’s a fitness model. She just started out last year, but she’ll hit it big because she’s amazing.”