Just to be on the safe side.
This man really does it for me. And contrary to my belief that a night, or rather two nights, in Vegas would be enough to get him out of my system, I’m not sure how much time would actually be sufficient to get there. The craving for him, the incessant need to be close to him, has only grown since that first kiss.
This is how I imagine addictions start. You get a taste of something you’ve never had before, something that’s incomparable to anything you’ve ever experienced and might never experience again. You think you can get away with a little taste and stop, but you’re lying to yourself from that very first second, knowing the greed will only grow with each passing second.
Addictive part of my brain, meet Carter. Oh wait, we’re already past that point.
I’m screwed.
His gaze is so intense, I feel the hair rise on my arms and the nape of my neck. And if his cocky smile is anything to go by, he can read me like a book, knowing all the dirty little things my mind visualizes about him.
I wave my hand in his direction like a total idiot. “You look um . . . nice.” The words sound formal coming out of my mouth, and I want to smack my forehead.
A deep chuckle rumbles through his chest. “Thanks. You don’t look too bad yourself, Daph.”
He follows his statement with a wink, and somehow that irritates me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I want to throw myself at him—despite knowing I really shouldn’t—but he looks completely unaffected by me.
Did you hear that, brain? Carter’s not interested. At all. Zero. Nada.
“Thanks. Let’s go.” The words come out more like a low grumble than anything else, and I make my way into the kitchen to open the door to the garage.
Carter trails behind me but stays quiet as we get into his black car and make our short drive to the restaurant.
After a few minutes on the road, he breaks the silence. “I might not have told you the truth at the house.”
I turn to him, a weird feeling settling in my belly. I hate lies, and even in these few seconds that pass, my mind goes a mile a minute, wondering what he could mean. “What?”
He scrapes a hand through his thick hair, making a beautiful mess out of it. “When I said you don’t look too bad yourself.”
I tug at the hem of my dress, suddenly feeling exposed and uncomfortable, wondering if it’s too late to turn around and get changed.
We’re at a red light when he turns to me. “What I should have said instead, is that you look stunning. The dress looks like it was made specifically for you.”
A car honks behind us, and Carter makes a turn into the parking lot of the restaurant, his hand softly brushing against the exposed skin of my leg as he uses the gear stick. My breath catches in my throat at the barest of contact, robbing me of any logical thought. My skin feels like it’s on fire.
“Jules, I . . .” He shuts off the engine while my gaze is still fixated on the spot he just touched.
Carter’s gaze meets mine for a nanosecond before he shakes his head and springs into action, pulling the key out of the ignition before opening his door. “Please, allow me.”
Before I realize what’s happening—he thinks I look stunning?—he’s at my side, opening my door for me.
I place my hand into his outstretched one, noticing his is trembling. When I look up at him, his eyes brim with heat, periodically flashing to my lips. My hand is still in his, the lingering contact setting my nerve endings aflame. When he leans down, my breath quickens, the intensity of this moment throwing me so far off-balance, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get through dinner.
Just when I think he might kiss me right here in the parking lot for the world to see, a car door slams close by, and Carter stops. He blinks a few times before dropping my hand and shutting the door behind me.
“Hey, guys.” My brother’s voice snaps me back to reality, pushing away the rest of my Carter-induced haze as much as anything will tonight.
Thankfully, he’s still across the parking lot, giving me time to step away from Carter. Instead, I focus on Ollie’s girlfriend, Cora, who has her arm linked with my brother’s, both of them wearing matching smiles as they approach us.
Cora’s absolutely gorgeous, with her wavy blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but she’s far from the typical stick-figure model we expect in the greater Los Angeles area. Instead, she’s tall, curvy, and toned, not afraid to show off her assets in the gold dress she’s wearing.
Can I be her when I grow up?
They definitely make a stunning couple. No doubt about that.
And she’s the type of woman I could see Carter with. Beautiful, athletic, confident, sexy.
All things I’m not.
After being introduced and receiving a heartfelt hug from Cora, we all make our way inside where we’re immediately seated in an elegant corner booth with black leather seats. Of course, Ollie and Cora sit on one side while Carter and I sit on the other.
The conversation flows easily. Cora is charismatic, and she fits right in. I actually enjoy her company so much that I push all thoughts of Carter aside. Well, maybe not all of them, but most. Because no matter how hard I try, it’s impossible not to react when I feel his gaze on me, our eyes meet, or our hands accidentally brush when we both reach for the bread basket.
We order and our conversation slows down as we devour our food.
When the main dishes are cleared, Cora looks at me expectantly, the corners of her lips quirked into a light smile. “I know we’ve only just met, and I’m sorry if I’m too nosy, but how long have you guys been dating? I always find it so romantic when people date their childhood friend. And you guys make the cutest couple.”
I draw a complete blank, afraid my brain’s gone into hiding, and I’m pretty sure my mouth hangs open a little too. I’m not absolutely sure though since I’ve lost all ability to control or feel my body at the moment. It’s not helping that no one else says a word either. My brother’s eyes are wide as they go back and forth between Carter and me.
“Did I say something wrong?” Cora turns to Ollie, rubbing the skin at her throat.
A sharp pain in my butt cheek makes me jump, successfully snapping me out of my daze.
What the hell? Did Carter just pinch me?
Just when I turn to look at him, he starts to laugh. “You must have gotten something mixed up there, Cora.”
Cora glances at Ollie. “Didn’t you say they went out on a date the other night?”
“No, honey.” My brother shakes his head, reaching out to take Cora’s hand. “I said they both went out on dates but not together.”
“Ohhhh, I must have misunderstood. Sorry. My bad.” Her gaze flickers back to Carter and me, her lips pressing together. “That’s too bad though. They look great together.”
Ollie laughs so hard, he sounds a little hysterical. “Absolutely not.”
I’m still trying to figure out how to feel about his reaction when it hits me what he said about Carter.
Instead of letting it go, which might be the smarter thing to do, I turn to face my bench partner. “You went on a date on Wednesday too?”
Carter shakes his head. “I was going to, but plans changed.”
“Oh.” My mind is racing, upset over feeling like an idiot for having to ask, even though I have no right to feel like it seeing as I actually went on a date. My body doesn’t like the visit of the green-eyed monster. The burning sensation in my chest, along with a flash of anger, can both go wherever the hell they came from, because they’re certainly not wanted. Not one bit.
I’ve never been the jealous type, hating how completely irrational it feels, yet I seem to be unable to ward off the ice-cold shiver running down my back or the anxious way my heartbeat has picked up.
I stay quiet after this, feeling Cora’s eyes on me for the rest of the time the four of us spend together, and I’m pretty sure she knows something’s up. The only positive thing about this whole ordeal i
s that, thankfully, my brother still seems oblivious. Let’s hope it stays that way.
We wrap up the evening and walk out of the restaurant to say our goodbyes.
Cora walks next to me while Ollie and Carter walk ahead of us, deep in conversation.
She lets out the barest of sighs. “This was fun. I wish we could have stayed longer, but I have to get up for work at an indecent hour in the morning, so I need to get as much sleep as possible. But you’re just as amazing as your brother said you were.”
I easily return her smile, completely at ease with her, on top of being thrilled she’s my brother's girlfriend. “Thank you. And likewise. I hope we can do something again soon.”
“Me too.”
Cora’s hand lands on my arm and we both stop walking. She opens and clothes her mouth several times before spitting out whatever seems to be occupying her mind. “Listen. I know it’s not really any of my business, and I’m sorry if I’m butting in too much, but I saw you guys in the parking lot when we arrived.”
My eyes are as wide as they go, and I slap my hand over my mouth before I even know what I’m doing, my brain thinking back to when Carter almost kissed me.
Cora mirrors my shocked look, shaking her head and waving her hands at the same time. “No, no. Ollie didn’t see anything if you’re worried about that.”
I cover my face with trembling hands before releasing a huge breath.
“I’m so sorry. That was the worst way to start that conversation. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” She grimaces, and oddly enough, I chuckle.
“If you ever need someone to overreact, you know where to find me.” I shake my head at my own inability to keep it together.
Cora reaches out once more, giving me a sympathetic look. “That was my fault. Sorry.” She looks over my shoulder before letting go of my arm. “I just wanted to bring it up. And for what it’s worth, I think you guys make an incredibly cute couple. I’m sure your brother would come around and get used to the idea too. You know, if you wanted to approach this subject and all, but I won’t say anything to him.”
Once my nerves have calmed, I flash her a smile, already knowing how much I like her. “Thank you.”
Her gaze flickers past me again, and this time I turn too, stiffening when I see Ollie’s and Carter’s eyes on us.
“Ollie told me your best friend moved to Australia, and I’m known to be a good listener if you ever need one. Or if you want to meet up for coffee.” She holds up her hands. “No pressure or anything, I promise.”
“I’d like that.”
“Perfect, I can’t wait.” Her gaze flickers to the guys again. “We probably should go over there before they get too suspicious, huh?”
I chuckle. “Probably.”
We all say goodbye, Cora giving me an extra tight hug with a whispered “Good luck” in my ear before Carter and I watch them walk to my brother’s car, leaving the parking lot a moment later.
Only once the red taillights have faded into the distance do I dare glance at Carter. Without a word, he takes my hand and pulls me to his car.
Thankfully, the ride home is quick and quiet, and Carter’s giving me space, not pressing me to talk. My brain’s a busy enough place as it is. Not only with my jealousy over his date that never happened but also my conversation with Cora, both giving me plenty to think about.
Once we’re home, I try to get to my room as fast as possible, somehow afraid to have a confrontation with him when I’m still so unsure about everything.
It’s undeniable. I’m insanely attracted to him, and he’s always had a special place in my heart, which is what scares me the most. If I hadn’t known him for so long, and I didn’t know what an amazing person he is, this might actually be easier.
But what are the odds of coming out of this unscathed if we continue our little cat and mouse game? For goodness’ sake, I’ve crushed on him for years. Add our insane chemistry and the way he makes not only my body but also my mind sing—like he’s made it his life’s goal to know every detail of how I tick—and I’m in so much trouble.
So much trouble.
“Not so fast.” Carter grabs me by the wrist and spins me around before I can reach my door, but giving me some room when I face him. “What’s going on, Jules? And don’t insult me by pretending everything's okay. We both know it’s not. Talk to me.”
I stare into his beautiful eyes, the connection I have with him already pulling me under like I’m in quicksand.
When it’s only the two of us, everything seems so easy. That right there will probably be my downfall, because I don’t know how to say no to him. Most of all, I don’t want to say no to him. Completely losing myself in him for a weekend brought me more happiness than I’ve had in years.
Then I remember one thing I promised myself after I read one of the self-help books. To be real with the people in my life if I wanted to turn mine around. And I want that. I deserve that. Even if this thing with him is only temporary. Or not, depending on how he reacts to my honesty.
Unable to keep my mouth shut, I throw my hands in the air. “I got jealous when Ollie mentioned your date, okay? I obviously didn’t know how to deal with it, and it bugs me. Happy now?”
He takes a step closer to me. “Why were you jealous, Jules?”
Warmth flushes my cheeks. “Do I really have to say it? I’m pretty sure you know exactly why.”
“Tell me.” His voice is low and husky, the mere thought of what it does to me in the bedroom burning a hotspot in the pit of my belly.
He keeps coming closer, so I keep walking backward until my back hits the wall.
“Because it’s not as easy to forget what happened between us as I thought it would be.” The words come out in a whisper, and his eyes widen in response.
He’s momentarily distracted, so I use the chance and escape into my room, not sure which thought is louder in my head. Or worse for that matter. The one that hopes he won’t come after me, or the one that hopes he does.
Chapter 18
Carter
Julia’s door is barely closed when I open it again.
She’s only made it a few steps into the room, putting her purse down on the white desk. When she looks at me over her shoulder, I see the same heat in her gaze that I feel boiling inside me, and I wonder if she expected or even wanted me to follow her.
“What does it mean you can’t forget about what happened between us?” My voice sounds raspy, but I don’t give a shit. My body, my brain, every last cell is strung tight at the minuscule chance I might have her again. Even though I know I shouldn’t, I crave her with my whole being.
There’s an almost innate instinct when it comes to this woman that I can’t ignore, and I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that she’s been in my life for so long.
Despite being surprised at her confession, I’m also incredibly pleased.
Relieved I’m not the only one feeling this pull.
“I honestly don’t know, Carter.” She grabs a few pieces of clothing from her bed and goes into the bathroom. She leaves the door ajar, and I listen to the faucet turning on and off several times while she brushes her teeth.
The urge to go in there while she changes is almost impossible to resist, but somehow I manage. There’s that little voice in my head telling me it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. Not at this point when things are still unclear between us.
But shit, do I want to see her naked again.
Now. Tonight. Tomorrow . . .
When she comes back in a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top, looking as cute as ever, I have an idea.
Holding out my hand, I hope like hell she won’t refuse me. “Come out to the deck with me?”
She hesitates, the vulnerable look in her eyes almost too much for me to bear, but then she nods.
The tension in my body eases when she takes my hand. Since I don’t want to give her any time to change her mind, I pull her after me, out of her room, through the living room and
kitchen toward the large glass sliding door.
Julia startles when I unlock it, squeezing my hand like she’s trying to crush it. When I turn around, her eyes are shut, her parted lips releasing long breaths.
Pulling my hand out of hers, I place both of mine on her upper arms, giving her a gentle squeeze. “You okay there?”
She swallows and nods. “Yeah. I just haven’t . . . It used to be my Mom’s favorite spot.”
Damn it.
I’m such an idiot.
That was the last thing I thought of tonight. According to Ollie, she’s barely set foot in the house over the last few years. If she did, she never stayed long. Usually, they met up in other places or at the apartment she shared with Michelle. Clearly, she’s gotten over the aversion of spending time here, but I didn’t realize it might only be the case for certain parts of the house.
Pulling her into my side, I give her forehead a kiss, and even though I’ve done that hundreds of times over the years, it feels different. Right. “It’s a special spot. I remember how much she loved watching the waves and listening to the ocean. It never gets old.”
“It really doesn’t.” Stepping out of my embrace, she links her fingers with mine once more before sliding the door open and leading me outside. When she walks across the expansive second-story wooden deck and over to the rail, I quietly follow her.
This is clearly an important moment for her, and I give her the time she needs, even if we’re out here all night long. The more time passes, the more my eyes adjust to the lack of light, the almost full moon offering enough brightness to see her features, at least partially.
Her gaze is still focused on the vast darkness beyond the deck, where the waves hit the shore in a soothing pattern, contrasting her voice that’s thick with emotion. “I should have come here more often to cherish my parents’ memories instead of grieving in the darkness, trying not to think about them.”
Without waiting for a signal from her, I pull her into me. “They loved you so much, Jules. They were the epitome of what parents should be like.”
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