Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  “Oh.” I relaxed my shoulders against the seat, my breath leaving me in a long, steady stream. “I’m sure it’s not too late.”

  “Even if it’s not, I’m a little rusty.”

  “You haven’t played at all?”

  He shook his head. “I haven’t even touched a ball.”

  I tried to compare his love for basketball to my dancing. I couldn’t imagine going a single day without moving to some type of rhythm, even if it was just the sound of rain tapping against my bedroom window. To give that up the way he’d given up basketball was the stuff of tragedies.

  When I looked at him again, I felt a deep tug in my gut and a warmth spreading outward as I realized that the boy I was suddenly crushing on had always been there. I had just never seen him, not really.

  “It’s funny,” I said with a laugh. “Remember when Trin and I used to make up those stupid dances while you and your buddies played ball at the community court?”

  He chuckled. “How could I forget? While the guys were distracted by your miniskirts, I’d steal the ball and dunk the shit out of it. Those stupid dances won me a lot of games.”

  “Ha. Yeah, well, I still dream of being an NBA dancer thanks to those times.”

  “Then I’m sure your dreams will come true.”

  I frowned before shaking my head. “I don’t know. It’s not like basketball. I’d have to try out for every team I’m interested in, and since auditions are usually around the same time each summer, I’ll have to choose a select few. But I’ve always dreamed of dancing for the LA Lions.” I felt my cheeks heat, but I didn’t understand why. I’d never been embarrassed of my big dreams. Except this time, I’d already been turned down by them once because of my age. “And the Lions will only have a few spots available when it comes time to audition.”

  Tobias wrinkled his face in confusion. “There are thirty-something dancers on a squad.”

  Of course he would know how many girls were on the Lions dance team. “Yeah, but most of the girls will be returning from last season.”

  “Ah, I see.”

  “But it doesn’t matter if I get picked. Dancing at Gravity opens so many doors in the industry. I’m just waiting until I graduate to begin the audition process.”

  The silence that followed made me focus on the darkness that had fallen over us since the start of our trip. It was dark when we pulled into a motel parking lot just outside of Monterey County.

  Tobias pulled his keys out of the ignition. “Another hour to go in the morning.”

  There was really nothing to the place. It had a flickering neon Vacancy sign out front, and wrought iron rimmed the pool that sat off to one side. It was dingy but fine for a short night’s sleep. I wasn’t anxious to be anywhere anytime soon.

  “Oh. Here.” I reached into my purse to give him my credit card, but he stopped my hand before I could pull it out of my bag.

  “This is on me.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about him paying for our room, but I knew better than to argue. There were other ways I could contribute to our trip, I would just have to figure out what they were.

  Our room looked no better than the exterior. The floral comforter appeared ancient in style, and the vertical blinds added to the ambience as they flapped from the breeze of the AC unit tapered against the wall.

  “Have you stayed here before?”

  He was setting down my bags on the bed when I asked.

  “The front desk lady called you Tobias when you walked up.”

  He shrugged. “This is my usual stop on my way to where we’re going.”

  “To the campground?”

  He shrugged, almost shyly. “Something like that.” He took a step back toward the door. “I’m going to grab the rest of the stuff from the truck. We don’t need it tonight, but I don’t exactly trust the people wandering around here, hence the one room instead of two.” He gestured to the bed. “I’d sleep in my truck, but—”

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” I squinted, hoping I wasn’t making the situation any more awkward than it had started out. “I’m fine with sharing. As long as you’re okay with naked spooning. It’s the only way I’ll sleep.”

  The glare he shot me next split my smile into a full-blown grin.

  “You know,” he started. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you were telling the truth right now. You’re a bold one, Amelia Clark. And persistent. I should worry that you do this with everyone—taking off on week-long road trips, offering to share dirty motel beds… while spooning naked, no less.”

  I threw my head back and laughed. It wasn’t until I met his eyes again that my amusement settled. “I promise you’re the only one, Tobias James.”

  The half-smile that lit his face next shouldn’t have made my insides dance and my neck feel hot. It should have made me realize what was happening right then and there. Tobias and I were just at the start of our trip together, and we were already flirting. Worst of all, I didn’t want it to stop.

  Chapter 6

  Tobias

  * * *

  I should have known where things were headed between us on that very first night when I brought the rest of our things into the motel and Amelia was in the shower. It was as if I’d been possessed earlier in the day when I'd run to the grocery store before picking Amelia up for our trip. At the store, my first stop had been the bakery section. I’d picked out a fancy cupcake to give to Amelia for her birthday.

  She was wrapped in a towel when I presented it to her. The flame of the single candle flickered against the dimness of the room. Her jaw dropped, and her hand loosened from the towel. She must not have had time to completely knot it, because it unraveled almost instantly.

  “Shit,” she squealed as one hand flew to cover the section between her thighs.

  I was unashamed by my admiration and enamored by her shape—her golden skin, the way her thick hips curved deep into her waist, and her abs that tightened and released in quick time as my eyes slid like water droplets over every inch.

  Fuck me. Up until that point, I could have vividly remembered the last time I’d seen a woman naked. But after seeing Amelia standing there, shower sweat glistening on her skin, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she was the most beautiful woman in existence.

  My gaze traced her lean, athletic build, admiring her tiny waist, thick hips, and natural breasts. Her breasts weren’t large by any means, but I knew they could easily fill my palms. I wondered how sensitive those light-brown nipples would be if I plucked them with my teeth.

  For a brief, perverted second, I imagined the slip of the towel hadn’t been an accident. I imagined dropping to my knees and inhaling her like she was fine wine.

  “Take the damn cupcake,” she squealed, snapping me from my daydream.

  If I hadn’t been eating her out in my mind, I would have realized why she wasn’t covering herself up completely. “Oh shit.” I jumped forward and snatched the cupcake away, freeing her hands to swoop down and rewrap her towel, securing it tightly over her heaving chest.

  “Oh my God,” she said while opening her eyes wide at me. “You just saw me naked.”

  “I did,” I confirmed with a slow nod. “Sorry I didn’t react faster, but I—”

  She growled, cutting me off and pushing past me to get to her bags. “Don’t even try. There’s no erasing that from your memory, I’m sure.”

  “Definitely not.” When I chuckled, guilt settled in. “For what it’s worth, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

  “I’m not embarrassed about my body. I don’t usually give free shows away. Something like that needs to be earned, ya know?”

  I bit my lip, hesitating before blurting out the first thing that came to mind. “C’mon, Amelia. It’s not like you did it on purpose.”

  “But you looked on purpose.”

  I laughed. “Well, yeah, maybe so. But in all fairness, I was caught off guard. Next time, I’ll look away faster.”

  Her expression revealed absolute h
orror. “Next time? No, Tobias. The next man who gets to see me naked will put in the work first.”

  “Well, maybe you can wish for just that.”

  Her face twisted in confusion. “Huh?”

  I held up the cupcake again while pulling the lighter from my back pocket. After relighting the candle, I smiled at her through the flame. “It’s time to make a wish, Birthday Girl.”

  Chapter 7

  Amelia

  * * *

  Tobias let me sleep past the alarm he’d set for us. I didn’t know why, but my exhausted body thanked him for it. I’d had too much on my mind lately, graduation being the tip of the iceberg, but last night, the man sleeping beside me weighed on my thoughts too.

  The way he’d looked at me after my towel slipped, like he could have taken me right there, scared me as much as it thrilled me. But more than anything, it was the gesture with the birthday cupcake that had thrown me. I would have never pegged him as the sweet-and-thoughtful type.

  It turned out there were more dimensions to Tobias James than I’d ever dared to think about.

  “Ready to hit the road, Birthday Girl?”

  I tied my sneaker laces and stood up with a slap of my thighs. “Yup. You’re going to keep calling me that, aren’t you?”

  “Yup.”

  I rolled my eyes. At least he’d stopped calling me Kid. “Should we stop for food?”

  He opened the hotel door to let me walk through first. “I went shopping before we left. I think I grabbed all your favorite things.”

  I slowed in my tracks as I glanced at him over my shoulder, amused. “And how would you know what my favorite things are?”

  He shrugged. “You’ve been rummaging around my kitchen for years. And I’m a dude. I notice when food goes missing. Extra-toasted Cheez-Its, beef jerky, mixed nuts, avocados, Fuji apples, and grapefruit Perrier. That about sum it up?”

  My cheeks felt hot from surprise. “Sure, those are some of my favorite snacks. But none of that is breakfast. I need a real meal.”

  “Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” he asked. “I bought that too.”

  My mouth fell open. “You did?”

  He nodded. “And that Lactaid milk you love.”

  “It’s so good. And lactose free.”

  His lip pulled up at the corner. “You’re so weird.”

  “And what do you eat for breakfast, Mr. Judgy?”

  “I’ll give you one guess.” He lifted a Styrofoam cup to his lips and sipped slowly.

  I wrinkled my nose. “That’s it? Just coffee? How does that fill you up?”

  “I add butter.”

  “And I’m the weird one?”

  He chuckled. “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

  “I think I’ll take my chances.” I flipped my head around to focus on walking through the parking lot. “Cereal it is. I’ll even do your truck this one solid and leave it dry.”

  We arrived at the truck just then, and he reached around me to open the door. When he leaned in to whisper in my ear from behind, my entire body felt as if he’d just lit it on fire. “Thanks, smart-ass.”

  I managed to avoid his eyes for the next hour as we wound our way through mountainous terrain, and I felt surprisingly calm. I hadn’t thought much about what to expect this coming week, figuring anything different from the mundane would be exactly what my soul was craving. There was so much more to see beyond the mirrored walls of the dance studio and the bluish-green waves that washed onto the Malibu beach. I’d never considered that anything was lacking from my life until my options became so limited I couldn’t even see past them.

  Tobias and I continued to climb the deserted road until nothing was left around us. The clearing was wide, overlooking a rugged and mountainous section where the Santa Lucia Mountains rose abruptly from the Pacific Ocean.

  “Where are we?” I felt his amused eyes on me at my question. I shook my head and tried again. “I mean, I know where we are. But what is this place?”

  “It’s exactly what you see. An empty lot. That’s pretty much it.”

  “And this is where you spend your time when you leave Malibu?”

  He shrugged. “Mostly, yeah. I love it up here.” He nodded toward the edge of the cliff. “It’s peaceful, private, filled with endless possibilities, you know?”

  “Like a blank canvas. Or should I say an empty court?”

  He frowned as if he found my pun annoying. “Something like that.” He turned to look at me. “What would you do with this space if it were yours?”

  My hesitation didn’t come from a lack of ideas. I had so many, I couldn’t sort through them fast enough. “Build on it, I suppose.”

  “Really?” His curiosity was filled with passion. “What would you build?”

  My heart thumped a little bit harder. “Is this a trick question?”

  He chuckled. “No, not at all. I’ve been asking myself the same thing since this place became mine. It would be nice to get a different take on it.”

  I swallowed before sneaking a glance at Tobias. “Since it became yours?” I looked back out at the sight before me, more stunned than before. “How?”

  “I purchased it after the whole adoption thing came to light. Used my entire trust fund. Every time I come here, I brainstorm what I could do with it.”

  My chest grew heavy with his confession. “You still haven’t decided?”

  He shook his head, his jaw firm. “Maybe nothing. Sometimes I wonder if changing it will destroy its beauty. There’s nothing wrong with it as is.”

  Something about his words made me wonder if he compared the land to his own situation. Did he wish he’d never found out about the adoption? Did he wish he’d never been adopted? I didn’t dare ask those questions.

  “I see your dilemma,” I finally said.

  “Do you?”

  Our eyes met, clicking together like they’d always belonged that way. “I do. There’s no reason to rush a decision like that. It seems you appreciate it all the same.”

  His eyes softened, crinkling slightly at the corners. “Want the tour?”

  The “tour” consisted of a walk around the perimeter of the property—well, as much property as we could walk on without falling off the cliff—and then setting up a large tent in which Tobias placed a folding table, some chairs, the two coolers he’d brought, and our bags.

  By the time we were all set up, my stomach was growling from a missed meal. It was well past lunchtime but not quite time for dinner.

  “I don’t think the snacks you brought will hold me over. I need some real sustenance.”

  Tobias checked the time on his phone. “Let’s head into town. We can grab an early dinner, and if you want to grab more things at the store, we can stop there too.”

  “Deal.”

  The ride into town was only fifteen minutes from where we’d set up camp, and we wasted no time finding the restaurant he had described. It was a small establishment on the corner of a row of aged brick buildings, dimly lit inside by large, glass-encased candlesticks. Jazz music streamed through the small black speakers secured to the corners of the room. It seemed like a place where couples would spend first dates and anniversaries, not a quick meal between two people who had barely ever spoken.

  I tilted my head and stared at him a little funny, and he returned it with an amused smile.

  “What are you looking at me like that for?” he asked.

  I shrugged and took a sip of my water. “Nothing.” I dared another glance at him as the liquid slid down my throat. I could feel its crisp bite as it grazed its way into my chest as it hit me for the millionth time that day just how annoyingly attractive Tobias was.

  “C’mon, Amelia. You can’t hold back if we’re going to be together for an entire week. No secrets.”

  If I’d known our trip would consist of me learning just how deep one’s blush could get, I probably would have stayed home and moped with pleasure all week long. How was it that in the years I’d known Tobias Ja
mes, I’d never once looked at him this way?

  “Okay, fine.” I sighed. “This place—I would have never pictured you here. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with it. I guess I’m used to seeing you all greased up from head to toe from working on your truck.”

  His eyes lit with his laugh. “In my defense, the grease doesn’t cover all of my body. Just the exposed parts.”

  That joke deserved the hard eye roll it received. “Thank you for that mental picture.”

  “What are you picturing exactly?”

  In seconds, I’d balled the cloth napkin into my palm and chucked it across the table, unable to contain my laughter. “Enough. That’s like, the third crude joke you’ve made this trip, and it’s barely been twenty-four hours.”

  His head tilted. “Three? You sure? I can only recall two.”

  I sighed dramatically and averted my eyes. “And yesterday when you saw me…” I cleared my throat to mask my nonresponse.

  His eyes narrowed. “Oh no, I didn’t make any jokes last night. I was a complete gentleman. I even bought you a cupcake.”

  I opened then closed my mouth, realizing I had no argument. Flustered, I accepted my napkin, which he held toward me, then slammed it in my lap. “See? That right there is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Since when did you become the thoughtful one around here? Helping me with my tire. Driving me to LA just so I could make it to an audition. Letting me come with you to your secret hideaway. Taking me to a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant.”

  He leaned in when I was done. The table between us was so small, his face landed mere inches from mine. “And you thought I was, what? An asshole grease monkey with awful taste in food?”

  My cheeks burned. That wasn’t what I’d thought at all—I don’t think—but when I opened my mouth to speak, I couldn’t seem to form the right words.