Emma Ever After

by Brigid Coady

  Where was it? She threw herself into his wardrobe.

  Why wasn’t he organised? It wasn’t messy, it was that he mixed his jeans and his shirts. Unlike his anal organisation of books downstairs.

  She flicked through the hangers, clicking them back, one ear open for the front door to say that Gee was back. It wasn’t like he could tear the top off Jamie once he was wearing it, could he?

  There it was! She smiled as she looked at the top she’d been looking for. He wouldn’t mind, would he? It wasn’t super expensive. Well, it wasn’t the most expensive thing in the wardrobe. Maybe the second.

  Emma grabbed the long-sleeved T-shirt, which was wonderfully soft, and for a moment she remembered how it had felt to hug Gee in it, the way it fitted over his shoulders. She couldn’t stop bringing it to her nose.

  Taking a deep breath in the silence, there was a noise. Was that a key in the lock? Taking the shirt from her face, she knew she was blushing even though no one had seen what she’d been doing. She took off at a run and rushed upstairs.

  Bursting into her room and trying to catch her breath, she pushed the top at Jamie. ‘Put this on,’ she gasped

  ‘But…’ Jamie stood there letting it dangle from his hand, looking confused.

  Honestly, were they letting just anyone work in PR these days? It was a shirt. Did he not get it? That you had to dress for the job you wanted. Although it might be great to express yourself exactly how you wanted, it didn’t get you places. You had to fit into the picture the way you were supposed to, otherwise you’d be overlooked.

  She wondered how he’d gone through life not knowing this. Obviously, he didn’t have a life plan. She made a mental note to talk, him through that as soon as possible. Of course, she’d need to know what Dan’s plans were… okay they didn’t have time for this.

  ‘Jamie, the shirt you have on is lovely. Gorgeous in fact, but it doesn’t say “sophisticated” does it?’ Emma hated the hurt look that came over his face. He looked like a puppy that had been kicked. By her. Why was she the bad guy this week?

  ‘But it has a pussycat bow?’ His voice went high at the end.

  ‘Which is lovely, but I just think you should be a bit more neutral, go low key but high class.’

  He looked uncertain.

  ‘Just try it and if you don’t feel comfortable…’ She let the sentence string out.

  ‘Okay.’ He flashed a smile and pulled off his shirt.

  Yeah, Dan would be happy with that chest, she thought, objectively. That wasn’t a body to be wasted on Rob in Tech Dev.

  ‘This is very soft.’ Jamie’s voice sounded muffled. ‘But… this is Gucci. This is too expensive I can’t wear someone else’s Gucci shirt?’ He popped his head out of the top of the shirt and looked scared, patting the seams to make sure he hadn’t split them.

  ‘It’ll be fine. My housemate won’t mind you borrowing it,’ she lied. Because even if Gee did, he wouldn’t say anything to Jamie. Emma wondered if she could bribe him with some of that expensive peanut butter from Whole Foods, it might stop him muttering too much.

  There, she thought, as she came to stand behind Jamie while he looked at himself in the mirror. Peeking over his shoulder, she smoothed the shirt down over his ribs. His curls were wild but his cheeks were flushed. He would be breaking hearts all over the house this evening, and the dark charcoal shirt looked almost as good on him as it did on Gee. Jamie didn’t quite have his breadth of shoulder but… Dan was going to be a very lucky man.

  ‘Ems, I’ve got the ice!’ Gee shouted up the stairs as the front door opened and then slammed.

  ‘Housemate?’ Jamie asked.

  ‘Housemate. Come on.’

  He followed her downstairs, where she could hear Gee in the kitchen.

  Please let him be okay about the top, she thought, as they clattered down the stairs to the kitchen.

  ‘I’ve put it in the freezer,’ Gee said with his back to them. ‘More ice than you can shake a stick at. Enough for you to make as many of those fancy arse cocktails as you want.’

  ‘Thanks,’ she said as he turned around. She twisted her fingers together hoping he wasn’t going to get pissy with her.

  She knew the moment Jamie clocked who Gee was from the way he froze beside her, his muscles locking.

  ‘Hi, I’m Gee, the housemate,’ he said with his disarmingly charming smile, one that he’d been using on unsuspecting members of the public for years. She tensed to see if Jamie was going to parrot the usual nonsense people said when they saw Gee.

  ‘I’m… J… J… Jamie,’ he stuttered.

  It seemed he wasn’t going to ask the usual ‘didn’t you used to be Gee Knightley?’ that everyone always asked. Jamie went up in her estimation. Maybe this would work.

  ‘Good to meet you, Jamie. I see Emma’s been helping you feel at home. If you’ll excuse me I’m off to get changed before everyone else arrives. Although it looks like I’ll have to find a different shirt.’

  How did he wink at Jamie with one eye and seemingly glare at her with the other? Maybe he learnt that at boyband school?

  ‘Oh.’ Jamie looked down at his shirt. ‘Shit, man. I’m so sorry.’ He began to take it off.

  ‘No, you can wear it. Just give it back to Emma afterwards,’ Gee said sweetly and pulled on the hem of the shirt, so it came back down and left the kitchen.

  ‘Oh my god, I just almost stripped in front of Gee Knightley,’ Jamie said loudly.

  ‘Nothing I haven’t seen before,’ Gee called from upstairs.

  Emma wondered whether Jamie was going to self-combust with the way his face glowed.

  Chapter Ten

  ‘How could you not tell me your housemate was Gee Knightley?’ Jame whispered.

  ‘I’ve known him ten years, and lived with him for nine of those. I kind of forget,’ she lied.

  But how did you bring up the fact that your best friend and housemate occasionally featured on E!’s Where Are They Now or Top 25 Hottest Boyband Members segments? Every so often The Daily Planet featured pap shots of him looking dishevelled if there was a slow news day and tried to make out he was a drug addict. Usually it was due to an all-nighter in the studio but The Daily Planet had never let anything like the truth get in the way of a good headline. She should know. The Daily Planet was the first outlet they usually used to try and seed any new fauxmance.

  Yeah, and it wasn’t something you threw out in conversation, who you lived with. Even if you worked in the music business. In fact, it was actually less likely if you worked in the business.

  ‘But he’s Gee Knightley,’ Jamie said urgently as if Emma didn’t understand the concept. ‘And I’m wearing his shirt.’ His voice was squeaky but his hand stroked his shirt

  ‘As long as you don’t spill anything over it, I’m sure you’ll be fine,’ she said sharply. And another one has fallen for the Knightley charm, she thought unkindly.

  The doorbell went.

  Showtime, she thought as she smiled at Jamie and went to get the door. Soon Dan would arrive and then the big plan of the night could start.

  By the time Gee came back down to the kitchen, the work crowd had started in on the drinks. Ice was tinkling in glasses, tops were being popped on bottles and cans and someone was even making use of the cocktail shaker.

  And if there was a brief pause in noise, the ice cubes even falling silent as he came downstairs, it was a very small glitch in the soundscape. They were all used to being around celebrities, of course, that was their job. Even those who hadn’t been in the public eye for years. Emma felt her chest tighten, was this fair, maybe she shouldn’t have subjected Gee to this in his own house?

  She kept a watch on them as they all tried to play it cool, some going as far as ignoring Gee, except for an initial widening of their eyes.

  She found Jamie hiding in the corner and he wouldn’t come out.

  ‘I should change back into my own shirt,’ he insisted. ‘What happens if I get a drink down it, I could rui
n Gee Knightley’s shirt.’

  For the love of…

  ‘You’re ruining my plan,’ she said to Gee as she passed him on the way to the stairs to open the door again to more party guests. He was making stilted conversation with a wide-eyed Max and his boyfriend.

  ‘Plan?’ he said turning away from them and frowned at her before sighing. ‘Of course, you have a plan.’ He all but smacked his forehead with his hand. ‘I should’ve guessed. Who is the unfortunate victim this evening?’ he asked looking round the room. ‘Don’t tell me it’s that nice boy you gave my favourite top to? Really Emma, you do know he doesn’t play for your team?’

  ‘Of course I do. Why does everyone think I don’t notice these things?’ Emma groused. Why did Gee always think she was clueless about what was going on around her? It was insulting.

  ‘Just checking. I don’t think I want to know what you’re cooking up, but I don’t want you to get hurt, Ems.’ He grasped her upper arm and squeezed it.

  ‘I won’t,’ she said. ‘Remember I have the plan. Another year before dating and anyway I don’t get hurt.’ Hurt only happened to people who didn’t plan.

  ‘Yeah, of course, how could I forget,’ Gee said and then took a long draw from the bottle of beer he was holding.

  She walked upstairs, as the doorbell rang again, and wondered why Gee had looked so stern. She probably shouldn’t have forced him into the party. She really would buy him the nice peanut butter.

  ‘Dan! You made it,’ she said as she opened the door to her work colleague. She wanted to add, ‘at last’, considering it was nearly an hour since the party officially started. Instead she said, ‘I’m so glad you could make it.’

  ‘I wouldn’t miss a chance to hang out with you, Ems,’ he said and leant forward to kiss her on both cheeks. She tried not to flinch as his wet lips touched her skin. Had he not heard of air kissing?

  ‘I bought this for you.’ He thrust a bottle gift bag into her hands. Ribbon spilled off it, glittery tissue paper foamed from the top.

  ‘Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ She said. Wet lips aside, it was, well, very sweet. Dan was obviously the thoughtful type. Jamie was going to be in for a treat, she thought. Okay she was rocking this matchmaking thing.

  ‘This way.’ She gestured with the bottle bag, letting the ribbons bounce. ‘We’re all in the kitchen. Everyone always says it’s the best place to be at parties so I figured we’d just have the party in it to start with. Save everyone time.’

  Dan’s answering laugh was a bit too loud. She knew she was funny but she wasn’t that funny. Gee usually rolled his eyes at her jokes and told her not to give up the day job.

  As she led the way down the stairs, she knew she’d done the right thing having the party in the kitchen. The large Victorian house’s whole lower ground floor, not quite a basement, was a massive kitchen with a laundry room off to the side. It meant she didn’t have to go far to get drinks or ice. And having Gee push the big wooden table that was usually in the centre to one end gave them more space. She looked around the room. Max and his boyfriend were sprawled on the battered sofa talking to that girl, so and so, from the social media team. Various people were perched on its arms. Plus Gee had brought down some of the dining room chairs which were all occupied – people perched on stools whilst some stood around.

  And now with all of the main players at the party, it was turning out how she wanted it.

  Excellent.

  ‘Let me get you a drink,’ she said as she quickly steered Dan towards the corner where Jamie was perched on a stool. He couldn’t have chosen better, she thought. She could make sure they were tucked away together, almost secluded and then let nature take its course.

  As long as it was the course that she had planned. No going off script.

  ‘Dan, you know Jamie from work, don’t you?’ Emma pushed Dan into the convenient seat next to Jamie. It was a pity the sofa was taken because the seat cushions sagged nicely in the middle and forced people closer together. But she had to work with what she had.

  ‘Hi Jamie,’ Dan said. Jamie blushed and wiggled his fingers.

  Emma began to move away.

  ‘Where are you going?’ Dan said as he got back up.

  No. This wasn’t the plan.

  ‘Just going to get you both drinks and put this away.’ She waved the gift bag at him while simultaneously pushing him back into the chair. ‘Don’t go anywhere.’

  Emma wondered if she could say ‘sit, stay’ – Dan’s face was a bit like a well-bred dog’s, if only she could work out which breed.

  She backed away with a flutter of her fingers, her other hand gripping on tightly to the gift bag. She kept her eyes on them for as long as possible before she turned and headed to the laundry room.

  ‘Smug much,’ Gee said from where he was surveying the crowd whilst leant against the wall next to the door.

  ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’ This was the problem with Gee, he never let her get away with anything. She hoped he wasn’t going to interfere with her plans. Why he got so wound up when she was only trying to help people, she couldn’t quite work out. Okay, so sometimes he’d been right and got her out of some sticky situations. She shuddered when she remembered a particularly embarrassing party just after they’d graduated. It wasn’t her fault that Mandy from her course and her boyfriend had misinterpreted what Emma had meant. When you’re drunk it was very easy to mix up menagerie and ménage a trois. She’d thought they’d been discussing a dream of opening an animal rescue centre while they… Thankfully Gee had intervened before their suggestion to “show Emma” had got too embarrassing.

  ‘You have that cat-that-got-the-cream smile that you only get when you’re conniving something…’ He raised his bottle of beer to his mouth, his eyes squinting as he watched her.

  Okay maybe that is why he always knew… She needed to work out how to have a better poker face.

  ‘You looked exactly like that at the Phooke wedding,’ Gee continued as he lowered the bottle and then pointed it at her. ‘You’d better not be setting me up with that poor sap. I refuse to let you entangle me in one of your plans.’

  ‘Jamie is not a sap,’ she replied. Although he had a point, Jamie was a bit wet behind the ears. London hadn’t quite knocked the corners off him yet.

  ‘No, Ems. I mean it. Do not set him up with me,’ he growled.

  What? Gee and Jamie? She could feel her face screw up in instant distaste. No. No.

  ‘No. So not what is happening,’ She said, shaking her head vigorously. She wasn’t sure why she was so adamant, but just no. She shuddered.

  ‘Good.’ He carried on drinking his beer. ‘I can find my own boyfriend, or girlfriend,’ he said after swallowing.

  Damn, was he really dating someone, she thought? Maybe she should’ve said he could invite someone too.

  There was the sound of tearing. She looked down to see that the glittery tissue paper looked limp and torn. Her hand having clenched too hard round the top of the gift bag.

  No, that was fine, if he wanted to date. Gee being happy was part of her plan, of course. She wasn’t a horrible human being, she was a good friend. She thought back to her Google doc; in which part of her plan did he have someone else? She couldn’t remember. Was it before or after she had settled down?

  She walked past him into the laundry room and stowed the battered bottle bag in one of the cabinets. Her fingers itched to grab her phone and check her plan.

  No, this party wasn’t about her and Gee. She had plans both for her and for Jamie. Stalking past Gee, she grabbed two beers from the fridge and poured herself a glass of wine. Juggling them she went back to Jamie and Dan.

  Damn it. While she’d been distracted by Gee, it seemed to have not gone well.

  Jamie was picking the label off his empty beer bottle, every so often darting looks at Dan. While Dan seemed to be ignoring him and was watching her come back.

  They weren’t talking. This wasn’t good.

  Obvio
usly, she thought, Jamie was too overawed by Dan. And Dan needed to see that underneath Jamie’s callow and unsophisticated exterior was someone that Dan could date.

  She needed to get them talking to see how perfect they were for each other. Dragging up a stool, Emma sat beside them, crossed her ankles and took a drink of wine.

  ‘So, how are you two getting on?’ she said brightly. She kept her eyes wide and hoped that the smug look that Gee had mentioned was gone.

  ‘Great,’ Dan said turning his back on Jamie to focus on Emma.

  Crap. That wasn’t what was supposed to happen. Change of tactics.

  ‘Hold on.’ She got up and manoeuvred the small stool she had been sitting on, so that she sat just in front of the two of them. She was going to have to treat this like a business meeting. Why couldn’t people do what she needed them to do? It was always easier if they followed her plans. Okay, so what did they have in common other than work? She had to find the one thing that linked them, and then this could be spun out into something stronger. Hmmm, they were both Feckless Rogue fans, weren’t they? She remembered Jamie mentioning it and of course, Dan had hung his access all areas pass from his monitor at work. The one from their last show at KOKO, where Phooke had allegedly started. Good, they could talk music, specifically the Rogues.

  ‘I hear that the Feckless Rogues’ new album is going a bit more electronic dance?’ She threw that comment like a grenade into the silence. No true Feckless Rogues fan could resist defending their idols against what they saw as the evils of EDM. And she knew it was a complete lie as Gee had been working on their music and she’d fallen over the band jamming in the kitchen too many times. But they didn’t need to know that, it wasn’t their business.

  ‘What?’ Jamie squawked, his eyes wide and affronted.

  ‘Emma, don’t be silly,’ Dan said almost immediately.

  ‘That is a total lie,’ they said in unison.

  They looked over at each other and stared for a moment before bursting out laughing.

  ‘Cheers,’ Dan said as he leant over and clinked bottles with Jamie.