Roguelike

by Paul Bellow

“Alex…I’m coming for you…”

  Her taunts got my blood boiling, but I strived to control my emotions.

  “I’m not fighting you,” I said, still holding my weapon up.

  “Then you’ll start over as a level one character,” she said.

  I slowly turned, scanning the horizon but not seeing her.

  “Why fight,” I said, lowering my sword. “The game wins that way.”

  Gloria stepped forward, walking weird. A ball of light flashed and my companion disappeared.

  “No!” I yelled.”

  “Will you fight me now?” Regina asked.

  “Don’t you hurt her,” I said. “There’s no reason to be cruel.”

  Regina laughed. The sound seemed to come from all around me.

  “The Tower of Gates is all about cruelty,” she said. “Besides, the companion AI still isn’t perfect. They’re all a bit off in one way or another. I need to send you back to the beginning so you can train another one.”

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “This roguelike is a way for the Tower of Gates to train AI personalities for the main game. You’re not meant to ever escape.”

  “I’m getting out of here,” I said.

  “Then you need to kill me.”

  “Bring it on.” I raised my sword. “Unless you’re afraid.”

  I saw a tall female dressed in loose robes appear ahead of me. A long-haired cat sat on the floor next to her. When I saw Gloria’s lifeless body, my blood boiled.

  Regina lifted the unicorn’s horn into the air, admiring the prize.

  “Not bad,” she said. “I’ll be able to use it to craft something special.”

  I yelled and charged toward her foolishly or fearlessly. A dozen fiery meteorites shot out of the unicorn horn.

  The Wizard of Yendro’s meteorites EVISCERATE you for 143 damage

  You have [1,931/2,074] health remaining.

  While not a lot of damage, the force of the blast knocked me to the ground. I scrambled to my feet, sword raised and ready to do some damage.

  “Kneel and join me as King of the Roguelike,” Regina said.

  “No, I’ll never join you,” I shouted.

  She pointed Gloria’s horn at me. A purple bolt of energy shot out, severing my hand. I screamed as it fell to the floor, still clutching Mega Metal Mao.

  The Death Energy DISMEMBERS you for 198 damage.

  You’ve lost a hand.

  You have [1,733/2,074] health remaining.

  I flipped frantically through my inventory, looking for something, anything to help me.

  “Join me,” Regina said. “Or die.”

  I grabbed a Potion of Invisibility and quaffed it.

  “That won’t save you,” Regina shouted angrily.

  She pointed the horn at me. I dodged to the left and rolled.

  A burnt-orange beam flew by harmlessly. Still on the ground, I grabbed the final item that might help me—catnip. Memories of Tabby flooded my mind as I threw it.

  Regina’s familiar instantly sniffed the pungent odor and turned her head. As she walked forward, I crawled toward the catnip, still invisible.

  “Show yourself,” Regina said. “We end this now.”

  Her cat meowed as she neared the catnip.

  “No,” Regina yelled. “Get back over here. It’s a trap.”

  Unable to resist the catnip, the feline familiar kept moving. I stood, then raised my sword. The attack would render me visible again, but I didn’t care.

  “For Gloria!” I shouted as I swung.

  The poor cat looked up as my blade took off its head.

  The feline familiar is dead!

  You get 50,000 xp!

  You have [99,850,000/100,000,000] xp.

  “Noooo,” Regina hissed.

  “Turnabout is fair play,” I said then grinned. “Come and get some.”

  As she raised Gloria’s horn, I lifted my staff and cast Ice Wall. Her brown beam bounced off the thick ice harmlessly. The defensive spell would give me time to think.

  “Enough,” Regina said on the other side of the Ice Wall surrounding me.

  Flames shot out of her hands, quickly melting the ice. Maybe I don’t have as much time as I thought. I flipped through the other ice spells on the staff.

  As the fire penetrated my icy shield, I held the staff up and cast again. Regina screamed as another towering wall of ice surrounded me.

  It was a cheese move all the way, but I wanted to win. Whatever it took. I went through my inventory again. Had I missed something obvious?

  “Die!” Regina raised Gloria’s horn.

  It glowed red then purple before emitting a brilliant beam of light.

  This is gonna hurt so bad.

  The purple beam MANGLES you for 325 damage

  You have [1,408/2,074] health remaining.

  I ran forward with my sword in one hand and my staff in the other. As I reached Regina, I activated the speed effect on the sword.

  Your pierce MASSACRES the Wizard of Yendro for 221 damage.

  Your slash DEMOLISHES the Wizard of Yendro for 374 damage.

  Regina raised her free hand, palm out. A deafening blast pushed me back. I almost fell to the floor as she pointed the horn at me.

  “Die,” she snarled in an inhuman and unholy voice.

  A dark red beam shot out of the horn. I rolled to the left, but it followed me, striking my chest. I screamed as pain flashed through my entire body.

  The dark red beam DEMOLISHES you for 398 damage

  You have [1,010/2,074] health remaining.

  As Regina moved toward me, I used my Ring of Illusion. While only usable once a day, it had saved my life more than once. I created an illusion of me on the floor.

  She continued toward the illusion. I crept around. Even though I wasn’t a rogue, a strike from behind would have some benefits. I needed a critical hit to kill her.

  Your slash MANGLES the Wizard of Yendro for 271 damage.

  Your slash DEMOLISHES the Wizard of Yendro for 352 damage.

  She turned, giving me another chance to attack.

  Your slash MANGLES the Wizard of Yendro for 274 damage.

  Your slash MANGLES the Wizard of Yendro for 291 damage.

  “I don’t die so easily,” she said then plunged Gloria’s horn into my chest.

  The Wizard of Yendro’s pierce OBLITERATES you for 420 damage

  You have [590/2,074] health remaining.

  I yanked it out then pointed it at her.

  Your dark red beam DEMOLISHES the Wizard of Yendro for 378 damage

  Regina laughed and reached out her right hand. The horn pulled toward her, but I held on tight, not wanting to face its wrath again.

  Why didn’t I bring more healing with me?

  “Your will is strong,” she said.

  I stuck Gloria’s still bloody horn in my belt then rushed forward.

  Your slash MAIMS the Wizard of Yendro for 59 damage.

  Your slash MUTILATES the Wizard of Yendro for 71 damage.

  What’s going on?

  Regina cackled, a smile on her face.

  “I’m the Wizard of Yendro. You don’t think I have a few tricks up my sleeve?”

  “You’re a dead wizard,” I said.

  I grabbed the staff from my back and cast another Wall of Ice.

  Need time to think this through.

  Regina blasted the barrier as I went through my vast inventory one more time. Something near the bottom caught my attention.

  Wand of Summon Monster? Risky, but maybe I’d get lucky. I pulled it from my sack then sheathed my sword. The wand and staff would save me.

  The Wall of Ice shattered. I pointed the wand and zapped it. A very confused orc appeared. He glanced around then attacked Regina.

  She made quick work of him, hardly batting an eyelash. I zapped the wand again, hoping for something better. A goat appeared then died.

  Regina laughed heartily.

  “Is that all you go
t, mighty pseudo-mage?” she asked.

  I zapped again. Miniature monkey. She killed it.

  Zapped one more time. A mule? Come on!

  “Are you trying to make me laugh myself to death?” she asked.

  I zapped the wand one last time. After sputtering, a beautiful and fully nude nymph appeared. She ran toward Regina and stole an item.

  “No,” the Wizard of Yendro yelled. “Not my Ring of Power!”

  She turned, but the nymph had floated away.

  As Regina dealt with the annoying creature, I went through my inventory yet again. Then it hit me. The Scroll of Melding. It had to work.

  I pulled the scroll out and recited the ancient words written on it. After doing so, I pulled out the horn and staff, fusing them together.

  Ultimate Ice Staff plus a magical unicorn horn? A bright light flashed as the two magic items fused together. I could feel the power.

  “What are you doing?” Regina asked.

  She ran toward me. I pointed the tip of the staff with the unicorn horn at her, wondering what would happen. A brilliant frosty blue beam shot out.

  It raced through the air and hit the Wizard of Yendro in the chest. Regina fell backward, landing on the cold, hard floor. I activated the staff again.

  “Noooo…” she yelled while writhing in pain.

  “You’re not so tough now, are you?” I asked cockily.

  I remembered Gloria and all my other companions.

  “Don’t kill me,” Regina said in a weak voice.

  I hesitated, still gripping my staff and sword.

  “Killing you is the only way out of this game,” I said.

  “No...wait…” She lifted her hands and stood. “There’s another way.”

  “I’m not bowing to you,” I said. “Not gonna happen.”

  “That’s not it,” she said, staring into my eyes. “Listen to me.”

  Her melodic words wooed me into submission.

  I lowered both of my weapons.

  “You should listen to me,” she continued.

  I watched helplessly as she walked forward. Had she cast a charm spell on me? Could I defend against it somehow? She’s so beautiful.

  “Give me the staff,” she said, holding out her arm.

  I felt my arm moving forward, and I fought against it.

  “You want to let me kill you,” she said. “It’ll be so good.”

  She took another step forward, hand still out.

  “Hand it over, and I’ll make it quick and painless.”

  “Never,” I said under my breath, fighting against her spell.

  I thought of Gloria, Tabby, and all my other companions. Even Axelrod and the original Regina I knew and loved popped into my thoughts.

  “Why did you turn so evil?” I asked.

  She tilted her head to the left.

  “You think I’m being evil?” She laughed. “This is about survival, silly. Everything in here is about surviving one more day. Kill or be killed is the only law.”

  “That’s not true,” I said, my strength of will returning.

  Her expression changed as the charm spell broke. I saw her as the ugly and evil Wizard of Yendro and not the friend I’d once known. She frowned.

  “You’re testing my patience,” she said. “Bow to me or die.”

  “Only the good die young…”

  I raised the staff and activated it. A deep purple beam shot out of the unicorn horn fused onto the end of the staff. It hit the Wizard of Yendro solidly.

  Your purple beam MANGLES the Wizard of Yendro for 341 damage

  I sensed fear as her eyes widened.

  “We can work this out,” she said.

  “Oh no you don’t.” I zapped again. “Not falling for that again.”

  She screamed as a yellow beam hit her. The random beams was a bit maddening, but the horn was helping me slowly win the battle for my life.

  A flash of pity swept through me as I once again thought about Regina. Had the game really turned her into an evil person? Could she be saved?

  “If you kill me, you’ll become the Wizard of Yendro,” she said.

  “You’re lying,” I responded but held off zapping again.

  She raised her hands.

  “I’m telling the truth,” she said. “I’ve been in here longer than you.”

  “Not that much longer,” I said.

  “Long enough to play hundreds of games. Do you even know how much time has passed outside of this game?”

  I shook my head.

  “No, and it doesn’t matter. Axelrod would wait for us. He’s part of the team.”

  “You’re just saying that because he’s your brother,” she said. “You don’t know him like I do. He’s a different person when you’re not around.”

  “Whatever,” I said. “Nice try.”

  “I’m not kidding.” She lowered her arms. “He loves me too.”

  “What do you mean too?”

  “You know what I mean,” she said. “I see it when you look at me.”

  Was I talking to the real Regina or the Wizard of Yendro?

  “I remember all the years we’ve spent together in here,” she said. “I’ve missed you.”

  Those three words touched my heart and not in a good way.

  “You’re lying,” I said.

  “I can prove it.” She stepped closer. “Let me prove I love you.”

  “Stop,” I said, holding up the staff. “Don’t come any closer.”

  “You can’t kill me,” she said in a soothing voice. “You just can’t.”

  “Maybe you don’t know me at all.”

  I zapped the staff one more time. A brown beam shot from the unicorn horn, hitting her solidly in the face. She screamed as her skin melted.

  “You can’t kill me,” she shouted. “I won’t let you.”

  Before I could move in for the kill with my sword, she waved her hand and disappeared. I sighed and glanced around, looking for her. Where is she?

  I ran through my inventory, looking for something to help find her. Nothing looked appropriate. I used the staff to create another Wall of Ice.

  Would she run to an upper level? Did I need to chase her? Why did the stupid roguelike need to be so damn hard? I took a deep breath to calm myself.

  Thoughts of Gloria bubbled up again as I remembered how many times she had calmed me down before a major battle, or gotten me out of a tight spot.

  With my health so low and no more healing, I needed to be careful. Maybe something on the Ice Staff could kill her more easily? Or should I keep using the horn?

  I went back and forth in my mind, trying to think what to do next. All the while, I kept listening for any sign of Regina. Nothing. Where did she go? Maybe she died?

  Reluctantly, I lowered the Wall of Ice. As I scanned the vast empty chamber, I still didn’t see her anywhere. This is crazy. Do I need to hunt her down?

  “No!” Regina shouted to my left.

  I swiveled around and saw the nymph run past her.

  “Stop stealing my stuff,” Regina yelled.

  I grinned, wondering if I’d finally be able to beat the roguelike. All I needed to do was kill the Wizard of Yendro. Something had happened to Regina. I had to act.

  As the nymph continued stealing items from the Wizard of Yendro, I raised my staff and cast Ice Flurries with it. Swirls of snow and ice flew toward Regina.

  She screamed again as the coldness hit her. I followed up with a set of Ice Balls. The thick, chunky projectiles slammed into her chest and stomach.

  I stepped forward, wondering if I could finish her with only the staff. Somehow, delivering the final blow with Gloria’s horn just felt right. Time for justice.

  The Wizard of Yendro threw up her hands to cast. I leveled the staff, pointing the unicorn horn tip in her direction. With only a thought, I released my fury.

  A pulsating purple beam of energy, Gloria’s favorite, shot out of the horn. I walked forward as the beam continued hitting Regina’s c
loaked head.

  She dropped to her knees as the magic ran its course.

  “Don’t do this,” she said. “It’s me, Regina. We’re friends.”

  “I don’t believe you,” I said, stopping in front of her.

  The Wizard of Yendro no longer looked so tough.

  “I’m telling the truth,” she begged. “Please don’t kill me.”

  “This is only a game. Don’t worry about it.”

  I pulled my sword out and raised it, but the nymph ran by and stole it.

  Regina laughed on the floor and I pointed the staff at her.

  A final blast of ice finished her off. She screamed one last time then went silent. I heard the deep clang of a bell. That’s new. Is the game over?

  Everything around me faded to black.

  ()xxxx[:::: Chapter 24 ::::>

  Out of the Frying Pan

  I focused on a light in the distance. My body floated toward it.

  Have I died? Do I have to start all over again on level one?

  My heart beat faster as I approached the brightness. When I reached it, I stepped through a portal.

  Back in the Tower of Gates? I looked around.

  I saw the entrance to the roguelike nearby.

  Okay, I’m back in the Tower of Gates.

  Where’s Axelrod and Regina?

  Did I really kill her?

  My heart skipped a beat at the thought. As I struggled to contain my emotions, Regina appeared. I smiled and ran over, hugging her tightly.

  “You’re alive,” I said.

  She pulled back and smiled.

  “Nice to see you too,” she said.

  “I thought I might’ve killed you,” I said. “Why were you playing as the Wizard of Yendro?”

  “Wait a minute,” she said, letting go as she stepped back. “You were the Wizard of Yendro, and I needed to defeat you.”

  “The game must’ve had us battle each other somehow?” I shook my head. “This is all so confusing.”