Heartsong (Singing to the Heart Book 2)

by Sara Walter Ellwood

  “Gabe...” She breathed into his mouth and slid her leg up against his.

  He groaned and lifted her onto the counter. The kiss turned into a duel of tongues, and he lifted her blouse to remove it.

  She backed out of the kiss and pushed on his chest. With a fuzzy look of confusion, he pulled away.

  “Gabe, we have to stop. I can’t do this.”

  Sex with Gabe would prove disastrous to the wall she’d built around her heart.

  Swallowing, he helped her off the counter. “I’m sorry.” He turned away and squared his shoulders. “You make me crazy, Michaela.”

  She straightened her shirt and ran her fingers through her mussed hair. The ring on her finger weighed a ton and tangled in the strands. “I think I should go home.”

  He faced her and nodded, his expression grim. “Yeah. I’ll drive you.”

  Chapter 9

  Micki stared at the orchard where the leaves on the old apple trees were changing to shades of orange and red. In a month she would be married. Her mother shifted in her wheelchair, and Micki focused on helping her into the passenger side of the truck. When she closed the door, the strong morning sun caught the diamond on her ring finger.

  For a moment, the way the light splintered and exploded within the massive gem mesmerized her. The damn thing could blind someone.

  “It really is a beautiful ring, isn’t it?” Her mother’s soft voice, coming at her through the open window, jerked her out of the trance. “I don’t care what he told you the reason for the wedding is. I think Gabe still has feelings for you. And I know you still love him. But I wonder why he didn’t give you Annie’s ring?”

  She’d wondered the same thing. The ring he’d given to her when they’d been engaged the first time meant the world to Gabe.

  “Momma, we’ve talked about this.” Micki grasped the edge of the window frame and fisted her free hand. “The marriage is an act so the judge will give us Jesse. Of course, he got me a huge ring. He’s a superstar. The story is that we belong together and decided to get married. But if he really had any feelings for me, he would’ve given me his mother’s ring.... If he still has it.” The realization hit her with a strong twist to her heart. Maybe he’d given it to Andrea. She pushed the thoughts from her mind. “You just need to remember not to tell anyone the truth. I still hate Gabe McKenna with a passion, and he hasn’t lost any love for me, either.”

  Momma smiled and patted Micki’s hand where it lay on the window edge. “We’d better get going. I can’t wait until everyone sees this on my baby’s hand.”

  Micki turned and sighed. She didn’t want her mother to tell her friends the truth about the wedding after the morning service, but her total denial that the wedding was, in fact, a farce proved exhausting.

  As she folded her mother’s wheelchair, Gabe’s big Ford pulled up beside her Silverado. When he climbed out of the pickup and headed her way, she didn’t like how her heart sped up and her mouth went dry. He was sin on legs dressed in a pair of tan slacks, a navy polo shirt, and his signature tan Stetson.

  Leaning in, he kissed her full on the lips. Against her will, she responded to his soft but firm lips, demanding her to kiss him back. As he had Friday night, he overwhelmed her good sense and desire pooled deep within her. The touch didn’t last long, and when he pulled away, Micki wanted the kiss to go on.

  She immediately stepped away from him and grabbed the folded wheelchair, jerking it toward her with more force than required for the action. This damned lovey-dovey acting was going to drive her crazy, not to mention the way she went up in flames every time he touched her. “I wondered where you were.”

  “Good morning, sunshine.” He took the chair from her hands. “I was on the phone with my manager. Had to get our engagement announcement out.” Winking, he hoisted the wheelchair onto the back of the truck. “Sorry I’m late.” He leaned down to get a better look at her mother through the window. “How are you this morning?”

  Momma returned his smile. “I have to say you surprised me, Gabriel McKenna. About time you came to your senses and married Michaela.”

  He glanced at Micki, a slight frown pulling at the corner of his lips. She shook her head. “I’ll explain later. If we don’t get going soon, we’ll be late for church.”

  In that infuriating I’m-in-no-hurry way of his, Gabe leaned against the side of her truck. “I thought we’d talk to Reverend Watson about our wedding. Two of the caterers we spoke to yesterday called back with tentative dates based on their schedules. The soonest either of them could possibly do a small wedding is October thirty-first.”

  “Halloween?” She snorted. “Well, that’s definitely appropriate. That’s gonna cost a fortune.”

  “Yep.” She wasn’t sure which he was agreeing to. “We have to agree to allow the caterers the right to use our wedding for promotion.”

  “Hope the food’s good. The ceremony’s already going to give me indigestion.” Micki dug her keys out of her black slacks pocket and ignored his glare. “Isn’t the award show that next week?”

  “Yeah, November eighth. The timing is lousy, but we can make it work. Just think, we could go to the CMAs on our way to our honeymoon.”

  Fear zipped through her at the wink and fire flashing in his eyes.

  “Hopefully Reverend Watson is available that day. If not, we may have to find either another preacher or a justice of the peace to do it. I figured we’d have the service on the ranch.” He glanced away and shifted his feet. “Doesn’t seem right to get married in the church, considering it’s not a real marriage.”

  Micki hadn’t considered where the wedding would take place, but a sudden idea hit her. “I think getting married here is a great idea. Frankie’s garden is still pretty in late October. The late roses and chrysanthemums are blooming.” She frowned. No one would have tended to the roses since before her sister’s death. “Although it might need some cleaning up before the wedding day.”

  Gabe shrugged and nodded. “Sounds good as any other place. I’ll hire a gardener as soon as possible to get it ready.”

  “The garden is a great place for a wedding,” Momma chimed in. “Your wedding color could be that pretty shade of pumpkin orange you like. It would be perfect, considering it’s Halloween.”

  “Not if I ask Lizzie Decker to be my matron of honor, it won’t.” Cash Nelson’s elder sister had a headful of carrot-colored, corkscrew-curly hair.

  Her mother pursed her lips. “You’re right. That red hair of hers would make her look hideous in orange. What about dark green?”

  “Works for me.” Gabe looked at Micki with a twinkle in his eyes. “I like green more than orange anyway.”

  She wanted to deck him. He knew orange was one of her favorite colors, and if it wasn’t for Lizzy’s hair, she’d love to have it as her wedding color. Maybe she could use orange in her flowers. This whole formal wedding on a rush was a pain in the ass.

  “I’d be content with an Elvis impersonator on the Vegas Strip,” she muttered.

  Laughing, Gabe said, “That would make our marriage look legitimate in Judge Anderson’s conservative eyes, but the tabloids would love it.”

  “Now, Micki, don’t be difficult. Just like the last time. If Frankie and I hadn’t forced you to buy a dress, you would’ve gotten married in jeans and a T-shirt.” Momma clucked her teeth. “I guess I only have myself to blame for making you into such a tomboy.”

  “I am what I am. A cowgirl.” Micki glanced at her cell phone. They had fifteen minutes to get to the service. She didn’t care about colors or about any of the other particulars concerning the wedding. “Gabe, we really gotta go.”

  He pushed away from the side of her pickup and took her hand. After he led her to the driver’s side, he opened her door. Scowling at him when he reached for her again, she grabbed the frame of the truck and hauled herself up into the seat. He closed her door, and she glared out the open window at him. “You know I hate this chi
valry stuff. I’m not some Cinderella who needs a man to help me get into my truck, for God’s sake. This pretending to actually like you is gonna drive me to drink.”

  His chuckle was deep and penetrated her senses. “Your stubbornness drives me crazy. Why can’t you let someone help you out?” Before she could answer, he leaned through the window and kissed her.

  She glared at him and turned the key. “See you later, cupcake.”

  His laughter followed her down the driveway.

  * * * *

  After the service, Gabe and Micki waited outside the church until Reverend Watson finished greeting the churchgoers to speak with them. Her mother held an animated conversation with several of her friends, who all stole glances at Gabe and Micki. The ring on her left hand was like a boulder setting on her chest. A big, flashing rock that announced to the world she’d totally lost her mind. Breathing was tough when she spotted someone staring at it, and she wished she could stash it in her pocket. The heat from Gabe’s hand resting on the small of her back burned through the thin fabric of her shirt to scorch her skin.

  How was it possible to want a man as much as she did Gabe and not even like him? She’d never had many boyfriends and never had casual sex. They’d begun dating when she was seventeen and he was eighteen. Before him, she hadn’t been with anyone. After him, she’d only had two boyfriends. Both relationships had burned hot and quickly fizzled, but at least she’d liked those men. She was still friends with both of them.

  His gaze snagged hers. “I hoped after we’re done here, we can go to Brownwood and do some furniture shopping for the house.”

  She glanced at her mother. Momma was laughing with a group of women surrounding her. Micki left her alone more than she liked already.

  Gabe must have seen her concern and added, “We can bring her with us.”

  Micki shook her head and looked back at Gabe. “No. I’ll talk to Mary. See if she’ll watch over Momma for a little while.” The women were close friends. Mary loved caring for her mother, although the older woman hated calling her time with Momma anything other than visits. Micki suspected Mary missed her old friend. “But we can’t stay out for too long.”

  “I don’t think we’ll have to. We’ll just furnish the rooms we need.” He looked her over, making the tugging pull in her low belly turn into an ache. “Will you need to get a dress?”

  “Can’t we just get a license and get this thing over with? I don’t want to wear a dress.”

  He smiled and touched the brim of his hat when an elderly couple passed by. Leaning close, his breath tickled her cheek as he said in a low voice, “I don’t want it to be too fancy of an event, but if we aren’t careful, people will speculate it’s a shotgun wedding.”

  Micki jerked at his words, and her desire evaporated. “The last thing I want is people thinking I’m pregnant. But I do see the irony, don’t you? The last time we were engaged, I was pregnant.”

  Gabe stared at her from under the brim of his hat with deep, dark eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring...”

  She swallowed and glanced around the milling neighbors and friends. “I grieved the loss of our baby, Gabe. And I did it alone.” She felt a hollow ache as she remembered the baby she’d lost fewer than two weeks before her wedding day seven years ago. Micki met his gaze and shrugged. “Maybe my miscarrying when I did was a godsend.”

  His eyes narrowed and he stiffened. “How can you think something like that?”

  “I didn’t plan to tell you I was pregnant until our wedding night--which never happened, because you left me.”

  Every blasé word she spoke was a stab in her heart. She’d loved her baby, despite losing it a week after discovering she was pregnant. The only person who’d known had been Frankie until the night she miscarried. She’d woken with cramps and bleeding. Gabe found her crying in the bathroom of their small bunkhouse apartment. When she’d explained she miscarried their baby, Gabe had rushed her to the hospital. “You knew how much I was dealing with.” Micki forced her voice to remain low to prevent others from overhearing. “Momma fell and broke her hip. I was planning our wedding on a shoestring budget because you refused to take a dime more than your pitiful wage from your dad. I had no money of my own and didn’t have anyone to lean on. The last thing I needed after you left was a baby to raise on my own--and I would have. I would’ve walked through fire to keep Andrea Rose away from my child.”

  His hand at her back curled, and she felt the strength in his fingers. The shadow of his hat brim made his cold eyes and the hard line of his jaw all the more foreboding. “If you hadn’t miscarried, the moment I found out you were pregnant I would’ve been back. You may have broken off our engagement, but I would have been a father to my baby.”

  A couple walked past them, grinning at them. She forced a gooey, love-happy smile and leaned into Gabe as if to whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Instead, she said, “And I would have told you the same thing I told my own so-called father: go straight to hell.”

  He stepped away and his jaw twitched, but before he could unleash the fury she saw brewing in him, the preacher stopped in front of them.

  With a huge grin on his round face, Reverend Watson spread his hands. “God bless you both. I hear congratulations are in order for you two. I’m always excited to see true love prevail.”

  * * * *

  “Why are you doing this?” Cash asked behind her.

  “I’ll meet you at the pasture.” Pasting on a smile, Micki dismissed the two cowboys; then she faced Cash standing in the middle of the driveway.

  Waiting until the men were out of earshot, she propped her hands on her hips. She didn’t want to lie to Cash, but telling him the truth wasn’t an option. He closed the distance between them and stopped only inches from her.

  “Micki, don’t marry Gabe.”

  Swallowing her regret in lying, she shook her head. “Gabe and I want to be together. We still love each other.”

  When the desire for the statement to be true hit her, Micki shifted her feet, hugged herself, and looked out over the pasture behind the barn. She couldn’t want this marriage to be real, and she had to remember that it wasn’t. Despite all the outward affections she and Gabe had to share in public, he could not be trusted. Not with her heart, anyway.

  “I don’t buy it.” He laid his hand on her upper arm. “You told me just a couple weeks ago you couldn’t stand him. If he loved you so much, why was he caught in a lip lock with a stripper?”

  “I forgave him for that. He didn’t know I still loved him.” Every word hurt as she spoke them, but she kept her voice level and her face void of any hint of the ache in her chest.

  “Right. Did you forgive him for cheating on you the first time and leaving you?”

  “Yes.” She about choked on the lie.

  “Like hell. You can lie to everyone else, but you can’t lie to me.” He shook his head in frustration, but then his eyes widened and he stepped back. “That’s it! You think if you get married to him, you’ll have a better chance at getting Jesse.”

  She swung her gaze to his. “Look. Gabe and I came to an understanding. That’s all I’m going to say. We’re getting married and I really don’t care what people think the reason for it is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish showing the new ranch hands around, and then Gabe and I have a date with a caterer. See you around, Cash.”

  She turned and walked to her workhorse, hating the shattered look on Cash’s face.

  Chapter 10

  Standing next to the fireplace in the ranch house, Gabe twirled the whiskey around in the highball glass and stared at the tabloid in his other hand. A grainy picture of him and Michaela, which had been taken during their shopping trip two weeks ago, was in the corner of the cover page. The byline below it read, “Country hunk Gabe McKenna set to marry pregnant girlfriend.”

  He tossed the paper onto the end table beside the couch as the night he’d found Michaela sitting on
the floor beside the toilet rushed forward in his mind. The front of her T-shirt had been stained crimson from blood.

  “God, Michaela!” He knelt in front of her and pushed her tangled blond hair out of her tear-streaked face. “Are you hurt, baby?”

  “Oh, Gabe.” She sobbed and went into his arms. “I think I lost him.”

  He held her tight, but then lessened his grip, afraid he’d hurt her. “Lost him? Baby, you’re bleeding. What’s going on?”

  She pulled away to meet his gaze with red-rimmed eyes. “The baby, Gabe. I’m pregnant. But--but I think I lost him.” She hiccupped and hugged him close, burying her face into his neck. “I was scared to tell you. We have so much going on. I loved him so much.”

  He stood, pulling her up with him and swung her into his arms. “C’mon. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

  Focused on the memory, he didn’t hear Reese enter the living room.

  “As your future divorce lawyer, I might suggest you reconsider the wedding altogether if you’re already breaking out the whiskey and drinking alone.”

  Gabe turned away from the fireplace. He tossed back the shot, wincing at the burn as he swallowed the liquor and waited for the heat to spread through him. “Have you ever wondered about the what ifs in your life?”

  Reese snorted and poured himself a glass of the Jack Daniels from the stocked temporary bar set up in the corner for the reception later. “Hell, who hasn’t?”

  Gabe glanced at the man dressed in an Armani suit with a white western shirt. Lizard skin cowboy boots and a bolo tie completed Reese’s getup.

  “Are you coming to your senses?” The lawyer sat down on a plush, overstuffed chair in a red, green, and tan plaid Gabe hated but Michaela loved. “I still think this whole charade is nuts. Even with the pre-nup, the soon-to-be Mrs. McKenna could toast your balls if she wanted to. The pre-nup has no cap on what she could demand from you for child support for Jesse if you do adopt him. Not to mention alimony.”