Beauty Expos Are Murder

by Libby Klein

  Aunt Ginny and I watched in fascination as Joanne poured Gia a cup of coffee without taking her eyes off of him, then handed it to him like she was performing a Japanese tea ceremony.

  Gia flashed her a brilliant smile, said thank you, put the coffee to his lips, and blew on it.

  I was waiting for Joanne to pass out, but Aunt Ginny handed her a towel. “Here, honey, dab your chin.”

  I handed Gia the sugar bowl. “So, what is this news?”

  Aunt Ginny charged ahead and spilled it before Gia could get a spoon out. “Somebody vandalized Convention Hall last night!”

  “What! Did they damage our booth?”

  Gia shook his head. “I checked half an hour ago when I got the email. Our equipment is fine. I think nothing was taken, but I want to do a quick inventory before we unload.”

  I looked at Aunt Ginny, who was known to have dubious sources. “Then how do they know it was vandalized?”

  While my attention was on Gia for thirty seconds, she’d managed to get a plate of creamed chip beef and a piece of toast. She was about to take a huge bite, but she stopped mid toast. “Blue footprints all over the boardwalk in front of the door appeared last night.”

  “Are the footprints just outside?”

  Gia shook his head. “They start in the main hall.”

  Aunt Ginny shrugged. “Whatever they were doing, they spilled something and walked in it.”

  Gia sipped his coffee and his eyes roved over me. “Probably just some kids on a crime spree for spring break. It happens every year.”

  I blushed under his gaze, but I didn’t turn away. “What was the security guard doing when this was going down?”

  Gia did a slow blink and rolled his eyes. “Getting a funnel cake. He said union rules demand he get a ten-minute break every four hours.”

  Joanne hadn’t taken her eyes off of Gia and I realized they hadn’t been introduced. “I’m sorry, Joanne Junk, this is Giampaolo Larusso. Gia owns La Dolce Vita, the coffee shop on the mall. Joanne is working for me to help run the front desk and the kitchen.”

  They shook hands and Joanne glanced at me. “I don’t work for you. I freelance for Ginny.”

  “Oh. Okay.” Whatever you have to tell yourself to make me those petits fours.

  My cell phone dinged a message from Sawyer. Can’t make it. Something came up. Sry.

  I typed back, U ok?

  Gia finished his coffee and put his hand on my back. “Are you ready?”

  I said goodbye to Aunt Ginny and Joanne, who grunted in reply, and grabbed my tote bag. By the time I reached the Elite Imports van, Sawyer had answered my text.

  I’m going to visit my aunt in the nursing home.

  Sawyer’s a really bad liar. Also, Sawyer doesn’t have an aunt.

  CHAPTER 12

  It’s amazing how many volunteers appear to assist when you have containers full of muffins and cookies. Once I’d rolled our cart up the ramp to the boardwalk, I looked around for the footprints. It was bright and sunny, but I didn’t see anything. Maybe they’d cleaned it up. Or maybe it was a prank after all. You know how rumors start in small towns. Then, out of nowhere, I was pounced on by the same woman who’d handed me the bright-pink flyer last night.

  “Go home! Don’t be a part of this abomination. It’s a scam!” She was holding a picket sign made out of heavy poster board glued onto a piece of splintered chair molding. It said, “Scared for Life!” I got a good look at her in the daylight. Something wasn’t right. One eyebrow was cocked like she was about to make a comment with flaming sarcasm. I waited for it since I kind of like sarcasm, but nothing came. That was just how she looked. One eye was lower than the other and slanted a little. Her nostrils were two different sizes and the skin around her eyes was pulled so tight, I wondered if that was making the corkscrews in her hair.

  “That’s right. Get a good look at me. See what that butcher did.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to stare.”

  “It’s okay. My face says more than any protest sign can.” She grabbed my arm. “Dr. Rubin should be given a botched face-lift to pay for what he did to me. A lawsuit isn’t enough! He’s a charmer, but don’t let that fool you.”

  An armed security guard scooted over and stared her down. “I told you if you did this again, you’d have to leave.”

  She jutted her chin out. “I have the right to be here.”

  “You don’t have the right to accost people. Now come on or I’ll have to take you in for disturbing the peace.”

  I felt Gia’s presence behind me. “What is this? Are you okay?”

  I craned my neck to look at him. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He gave me a hard look, and I could feel that he wanted to kiss me. I finally cast my eyes back to where the raggedy little thing conducting her one-woman protest had been. She was gone, and so was the guard. “That poor woman.”

  “What was she scared of?”

  I chuckled. “I think she means scarred for life. At least judging from her unfortunate face-lift.”

  Gia turned me around and gave me an up-and-down look. Normally it felt very sexy, but this time it seemed like an inspection. “Why are you covered in glitter?”

  I looked at my arm. “What do you mean?”

  “You are sparkly.”

  I moved until the sun caught the glitter on my arms. “It must be from this unicorn bath bomb I did last night. I think it’s for kids, but it was pretty, so I wanted it. I guess I should have rinsed off in the shower.”

  Gia looked at his feet to try to keep from laughing, but he lost the battle. “I love you so much.”

  I laughed with him, then we both stopped and stared at each other with too many things to say, all of them blocked by our current circumstances.

  Eloise from Guest Relations tapped Gia on the arm and interrupted our reverie. “I’m sorry, but we need to get these carts back for the next vendor.”

  We wheeled the baked goods to our station and unloaded. Kevin popped in to say hello and collected our carts just like yesterday. “I’m sorry about earlier, the crazy lady cornering you.”

  “She didn’t hurt anything.”

  “Well, that’s a relief. She’s been harassing Convention Hall for weeks. Ever since the Beauty Expo was put on the schedule.”

  “Harassing how?”

  Kevin made a face. “Angry letters, threatening emails. We had to block her on Facebook and Instagram.” Eloise was waving him up to the front, so he started to move toward her. “Let me know if she approaches you again.”

  Gia prepped the espresso machine while I filled the pastry case with three kinds of Paleo muffins and two kinds of cookies. He left the booth and came back with a five-gallon bottle of water up on his shoulder. All of the women in nearby booths had stopped to follow him with lust in their eyes. Gia gave me a grin and a wink. Look at him. He knows he looks sexy. I’m going to be beating these women off with a stick for the rest of the day.

  Other vendors were opening for the morning and we overheard chatter about the protestor who Kevin had just been warning me about. Apparently, her name was Agnes Pfeister-Pinze, and she had an ongoing medical malpractice suit against Dr. Rubin. Some of the vendors had received letters urging them to boycott the Expo. No one was fazed by her protest, but most everyone felt sorry for her.

  I handed Gia a blueberry muffin. “Did we get a letter from Agnes Pfeister-Pinze about boycotting?”

  Gia swapped me a coconut almond latte for the muffin and nodded. “I didn’t pay any attention to it. It looked like junk mail.”

  “What did it say?”

  Gia took a bite of his muffin and blueberry oozed out the side. “‘Do not come to the Expo and support the criminal doctor or bad things will happen to you. Something something.’ I got a letter about Alex filing for joint custody the same day, so everything else is a blur.”

  I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. How can she contest the divorce and file for joint custody at the same time?”

  Gia pick
ed up a demitasse-size paper cup and kicked back a doppio shot of espresso. “She is covering her bases. Alex is always scheming.”

  My hands were shaking. I could lose having Henry in my life if he went to live with his mom. And it would break Gia’s heart to lose his son even part-time. I stepped over to straighten up the creams and sugars to keep busy. We weren’t even officially open yet and our booth was just about wrecked from the other vendors getting their setup lattes. “Have you tried talking things out? To see if maybe she’s sincere this time?”

  Gia crossed his arms and took a wide stance to face me. “Do you not understand? She digs her heels in because of you. She never wanted me or Henry, but now that we have you and we are happy, she must fight to take us back. She cannot lose to another woman. Especially to one as beautiful as you.”

  I snorted out a very unladylike laugh. I wanted to bask in the moment as long as possible, but a man wearing a bright yellow Sunshine Smoothies apron approached the booth and ordered a carrot coconut muffin and an Americano. I’d learned not to grimace when someone ordered an Americano even though I thought it was a crime to water down espresso. I handed him his muffin and was running his card when I heard a hubbub of activity coming down the aisle.

  Dr. Lance Rubin was being led to his booth by Eloise of Guest Relations. Flanking him on all four sides were ladies dressed in white lab coats. They looked like sleek, white Arabian horses pulling a Hugo Boss pumpkin coach. He waved to every vendor as he passed them like a royal procession. All they were missing were the footmen blowing arrival trumpets.

  They pulled up alongside La Dolce Vita, and he gave me a stellar grin. He was fit and attractive, with close-cropped black hair and a little gap between his front two teeth. He oozed charm and confidence. “Well, hello, gorgeous. Coffee and gluten-free muffins—I’ll see you in a bit.” He grinned, then set off to open the Rubinesque Cosmetic Surgery booth.

  All righty then. I didn’t know what to say. I exchanged a look with Gia. He wasn’t as amused about it as I was, which only amused me more.

  Once the Beauty Expo officially opened, hordes of people filled every space of Convention Hall. Throughout the morning, our booth was very popular. It was especially popular with the ladies. They were lined up the length of the event hall waiting their turn to see Dr. Rubin, and while they were in front of Gia, they flirted and giggled and cooed at him. They wanted coffee drinks but asked him to describe them slowly so they could listen to his accent. One of them asked if he was strong enough to pick her up. Gia said he didn’t think so. He told them he was very weak, but Dr. Rubin had put fake muscles in his arms and chest so he’d feel better about himself. I had to hide my face behind a napkin to keep from laughing out loud. Not that anyone would have noticed me if I had.

  One by one, they each bought whipped-cream-covered mochas and pastries on their way to discuss having their fat sucked out. I finally asked one of them what was so special happening in Dr. Rubin’s booth. She told me he was having a raffle for free face treatments.

  I looked at the Shayla Rose booth and wondered how she was faring with the large crowd. She was standing in the aisle handing out tiny little sample tubes of eye cream. She was dressed in a rose-colored, tailored dress with a black silk scarf draped around her neck. She definitely knew how to market herself. She caught my eye and waved.

  Eloise marched past the line at our booth and cut to the front in spite of the loud protest. “Dr. Lance would like a large cappuccino and an assortment of muffins sent to his booth right away.”

  Gia and I looked at each other as if to say, Who do these people think they are? Eloise clapped her hands in my face. “He can’t leave his booth.”

  I was really tired of being bossed around, and I was emboldened by the ladies in line who had choice words for Eloise about her rude behavior. Also, I think South Jersey was rubbing off on me a little. “First of all, I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to do. And I’m especially not doing it for someone who lacks the courtesy to say ‘please.’ ”

  The ladies in line cheered, and Eloise’s face grew a dark shade of pink. “I apologize; please take Dr. Lance some muffins.” She leaned in and whispered, “I’m very stressed. This whole Expo revolves around his being here and it’s my head if it fails. We’ve already had one disaster with the security company I hired. I can’t take much more.”

  I considered her apology. It wasn’t a good reason, but it was a reason. I handed her a maple bacon chocolate chip cookie. “Here, eat this and calm yourself down. I’ll go visit his majesty.” I bagged up a few muffins. Gia handed me a cappuccino and I headed over to the Rubinesque booth.

  It took me longer to get through the impenetrable wall these women had formed to prevent line jumpers than it had taken me to actually make the muffins. “Please let me pass. I’m not signing up for anything. I’m not entering the raffle. I’m just here to deliver the coffee.”

  “No cutsies, Red! How do we know you won’t take the last free sample?”

  “Aunt Ginny? How did you get this far up the line without me seeing you?”

  Aunt Ginny leaned in and wiggled her hand. “You got to bob and weave.” Then she hollered, “Let her through, she’s making a delivery for the doctor!”

  The women, and a smattering of men, parted like the Red Sea for Moses, and I walked down the middle to the entrance. I had an unusual low drag at my back like I was toting a tugboat. I crossed the threshold into Dr. Rubin’s booth and checked behind me.

  Aunt Ginny gave me a cheesy smile and let go of the handful of my blouse she’d been grasping like a pilot fish. She caught the eye of one of the lab coat ladies. “Oh, hey. Where do I sign up for the free Botox?” And she was off.

  Another woman in a lab coat approached me. “Is that for Dr. Rubin?”

  “Yes, Eloise requested I bring it over.”

  Dr. Rubin stuck his head out of a hanging door that was framed into his expo tent. “Yes! Is that the muffin lady? Come on in!”

  “Wow, you have a real door in here.”

  “This is the Mercedes of convention tents. The door is flimsy, it’s attached on that support beam there, so it pivots, but at least I look like I have a private office.” He took out the banana almond muffin and examined it. I got a good look at his blue, star-sapphire ring. You had to have a lot of confidence to wear a man ring. He popped a piece of muffin into his mouth. “This is so good. What’s your name?”

  “Poppy.”

  “Well, Poppy, do you want to see the treatment room?”

  I looked around. “Sure. Why not?”

  He jerked his head to the side. “Come on.”

  One of the women in a lab coat was passing us going the other direction. Dr. Rubin nodded his head to her. “Tally! Come with me.”

  Tally was a beautiful young woman with strawberry-blond hair wound up in some fancy updo that takes two people to maneuver. She spun around and immediately changed course to join us.

  Dr. Rubin took me past the main entrance, where someone in line yelled that I’d better not get their raffle ticket, and down to an opening on the other side of the tent. He pulled the flap back to reveal a dark room with creepy, glowing mannequins lying side by side, and I jumped. They had identical blank faces, only some were glowing blue, some red, some green. They looked like something that would try to take over the world on the SYFY Channel. I thought I had the willies before, but when one of them sat up, ten years fell off my life.

  “What is that!” My heart was pounding in my throat. I jumped behind Dr. Rubin, who doubled over laughing. One of the lab coats went to the mannequin and lifted the mask off a woman who’d passed our booth hours ago.

  Tally put her hand on my shoulder. “They’re just LED light masks. They’re perfectly harmless but extremely beneficial for many skin ailments.”

  Dr. Rubin laughed again and pulled out the blueberry muffin. “My nurse is right. They’re harmless unless you’re acne, rosacea, or scar tissue. Then they’re deadly.”

&nb
sp; I felt Tally stiffen. “Now, Dr. Rubin, you know I have a PhD in cosmetic chemistry.”

  Dr. Rubin was not fazed by the newly added tension in the room. He pointed to a treatment area that had been used recently. “Could you please set up for my next BOTOX patient? Thanks, Tally.”

  He led me back out the tent flap into the waiting area, where women were filling out paperwork on clipboards, signing up for consultations, entering the raffle, and asking about procedures. I heard a familiar voice ask about a Brazilian butt lift and caught the eye of Mrs. Davis. She tried to hide her face behind a brochure, but I’d already seen her and her pink hair.

  Dr. Rubin led me back toward his office and turned the charm up to eleven. “I hope you’re coming to my keynote speech tomorrow night. I’m making a monumental announcement about a cutting-edge breakthrough that will transform the cosmetic surgery industry. You don’t want to miss it.”

  “I think my aunt already has tickets for us.”

  He patted my arm while examining my face. “Good, good. You have gorgeous skin, you know that?”

  Don’t blush, don’t blush, don’t blush. “Thank you. I moisturize.” Real clever, Poppy.

  Then he said, more to himself, “Redheads. How would you like a private consultation?”

  I was uncomfortable with what I thought was a bold advance, then he looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. “You could do with some liposuction, but everything else that I see is beautiful. Not everyone is built to be model thin.”

  Well, this can’t get any more humiliating.

  He walked over to a display of beauty products, took a brochure, and handed it to me. “Read this before our consult.”

  I looked at the slick paper in my hand. Remove Stubborn Belly Fat—Banish that Bulge. I stand corrected.

  He nodded, then turned to head back to the front desk.

  I was about to return the brochure to the display when my mind drifted to Gia and all the women throwing themselves at him. And Alex, with her tiny little waist and flat stomach. I folded the brochure into a square and tucked it into my back pocket.

  Dr. Rubin’s tent exited in front of an essential oil distributor and a bright-pink makeup booth. I was trying to get my bearings when I heard my name called. Alex was waving three tubes of lipstick at me from the Glam Lips counter. Oh no.