Gambling on a Secret

by Ellwood, Sara Walter

  “And you got the girl.”

  “We got married two days before I headed for boot camp. Next stop, Afghanistan.” He grew reflective. Dylan knew the rest of the story. Eerily similar to his or, more likely, the damned terrorists had no originality. “My unit was ambushed by a group of Taliban supporters. The next thing I knew everything went to hell.” Zack met his eyes. “Kinda like what happened to you.”

  “Not quite.” He broke eye contact and looked back at the horses, prepared to say no more about the subject.

  “Dammit, Quinn. Don’t you think we know your story? All about the nasty divorce and the bombing and the way things went down? Come on, this is Colton! The damned walls talk. Yet, we still respect you. We still care about your sacrifice. I think it’s time you start thinking about all the times you weren’t wrong. Start thinking about how many times your team, under your leadership, saved hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives. Who knows, maybe your sacrifice helped SEAL Team Six get that bastard.”

  He jerked back. Just walk away and take the business elsewhere. There were plenty of horses in Texas. The Cartwrights didn’t own them all.

  Zack heaved a breath that raised and lowered his shoulders. “I know you blame yourself for those men’s deaths, but not talking about it isn’t doing anyone any good.”

  He scowled at Zack and balled his fists at his side. “You’re right. Talking about it isn’t helping anyone. It sure as hell won’t bring those four good men back or reattach legs and arms.”

  As he turned away, Zack grabbed his arm and stared down at him. With the dual bearing of one of the Marine Corps and the big ego of a Texas cowboy lawman, Zack Cartwright probably intimidated more than his share of lesser men. Dylan wasn’t a lesser man. He balled his hand up to punch the sheriff.

  Charli’s quiet words whispered in his mind, De oppresso liber...

  To free from oppression.

  You really lived by that motto, didn’t you?

  I tried to.

  He had lived by the motto. A memory flickered of the girls his team rescued from the mountain cave in Afghanistan early in the war–on yet another hunt for the devil who’d started it all. Those half-starved, battered women would have surely died in that stinking hellhole if it hadn’t been for him following a hunch.

  His hunches had usually panned out.

  Until the day when they’d walked into a trap.

  He took a long breath, let it out slowly and lowered his fist.

  Zack dropped his hand from his arm. “Tracy told me about the woman who gave you the intel.”

  He peered out over the horses. “I should have picked up on the trap. I fell for everything that damned woman told me. I should have told my commander I wasn’t fit to lead the team.”

  “So, why didn’t you back out of the mission?”

  He snapped his attention to Zack and stared at the hotshot’s stony certainty for a long time. “Because I was trained not to let personal stuff get in the way of the job.”

  A corner of Zack’s lips curled up. “Exactly.”

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

  Zack shrugged in a whatever-you-want-it-to-mean way. “You thought you had your head in the game. We all do that, Dylan. The night before the battle that ended my illustrious career in the Marines, Lisa had rushed Amanda to the hospital because her appendix was about to burst.” He leaned on the top railing and looked out over the horses again. “I wanted to be there so damned bad, if I could have, I would’ve gone AWOL to be there. Moments before the truck exploded, I was mad as hell because I was sitting on a rock holding an M-16 instead of my wife while our baby was in surgery.”

  Zack looked over his shoulder at him. “But the moment that truck came into the checkpoint, I shoved thoughts of home and Amanda to the back of my mind and became a soldier. I did what I was trained to do, and so did you when you took your team and led them.”

  He moved away from the rail and faced him. “You were only doing your job. Should you have suspected the trick?” Again a shrug. “Who’s to say you’d have seen it even without the emotional baggage? Was there even a trick?”

  Dylan shifted his feet and flexed his hands at his side. “Cartwright, don’t ever become a shrink.”

  “The truth always has to be swallowed with a bit of pride.”

  Zack rubbed his neck and looked down at the ground. When he met Dylan’s eyes, Zack said, “You know my mother and aunt have a hand in planning the shindig over the Fourth of July. Anyway, they wanted me to ask you to speak during their last meeting, the Friday before the party. I thought we could go together.”

  He glared at Zack and moved toward the gate into the corral. The sooner he found the horses he wanted, the sooner he’d get the hell away from Zack. “No. I showed up at the Memorial Day thing, but I’m not talking to a group of ladies.”

  Zack shook his head and followed him. “Why not? They don’t want you to talk about the blood and gore.” He moved to block him from opening the gate. “They want you there because they respect you. They want to hear about your life as a soldier. You don’t have to talk about the bombing. You were in Bagdad and Fallujah, and you were in Afghanistan. You were in on the plans to bring down Bin Laden.”

  “Yeah. Call the SEALs. They toasted his ass, not me.”

  Zack lifted his hat off his head and shoved his fingers through his short blond hair, then jammed the hat so far back on his head Dylan expected it to fall off. “They want to know they sent their young men and women over there for a good reason. They want to know you and I and Rachel and a dozen others in this county have risked our lives for something.”

  He stared at Zack. Had it been a trap? The woman who had confronted them with the intelligence seemed so scared, so righteous. She’d told him Bin Laden had killed her son and husband. Even claimed to support the Americans. The American forces had built schools and hospitals and provided jobs.

  His warrant officer and first sergeant hadn’t believed the woman. He thought about the men in question. They had been teamed up for a long time. There had been plenty of times those two hadn’t agreed with him. Times when he’d been right on the money.

  As if knowing exactly what he was thinking, Zack said, “What if the woman was telling you the truth and your luck just plain ran out?”

  “Shit happens?”

  Zack nodded once solemnly. “All the damned time. My daughter would still have her mother if it didn’t.”

  Maybe his luck had just run out. He cleared his throat. “Okay, hotshot, I’ll speak to the ladies, but you’re going to be there or the gig’s off.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” The younger man slapped him on the shoulder, opened the gate, and flashed him the same kind of grin a shady used car dealer might. “Now, can I interest you in some fine Cartwright horseflesh? The best in all of Central Texas.”

  * * * *

  While Dylan went to buy horses, Charli and Tracy went shopping. They left the quaint boutique, on a side street of downtown Waco, and headed down the sidewalk to an Irish pub on the corner of the street. Tracy insisted the place had the best corned-beef sandwiches in the entire state of Texas. Charli doubted it, but she had to admit Tracy knew exactly where to find the perfect wallpaper for the baby’s room and all the stuff to go with it. She’d collected samples and had a bag full of stuff to take home to show Dylan.

  After settling into the booth by the window and ordering their late lunch, Tracy took a long draw of her Guinness. Charli had driven, so she didn’t mind if Tracy drank a beer.

  Tracy set the mug on the scarred table. “Aren’t you a little worried about doing the nursery this early?”

  “Why?”

  “Because you aren’t very far along, that’s all. What if you change your mind, or something...” Tracy let her voice trail off.

  “If Dylan leaves me, the ranch is still mine.”

  “No.” Tracy shook her head. “That’s not what I mean.”

  Then she remembered Dylan telling her Tra
cy had miscarried her first pregnancy. “You mean if something is wrong with the baby?” Tracy nodded, and she swallowed. “I guess I’m a little excited, but I want to get the nursery done before I get too big. If something happens... I–I’ll just redo the room.”

  As she put a hand over her belly, she shuddered and looked down at the table. She loved her baby. What if something went wrong? “I have a feeling, once I start showing, Dylan won’t let me do a damned thing.”

  A tentative smile touched Tracy’s lips. “Did you get an appointment with Dr. Hawkins?”

  “Yes.” She shook off the grim thoughts. “I couldn’t believe we got in so quick. My appointment is Friday. I also made an appointment with a lawyer.”

  Tracy’s expressive gray eyes widened. “A lawyer?”

  “Yes, to draw up paperwork making Dylan a full partner in the ranch.”

  Tracy blinked and then blinked again. “He bought into the ranch?”

  She fussed with her napkin. “Not exactly. I offered him a business partnership. It’s logical, considering we’re living together and going to have a baby. If something happens to me, I wouldn’t want Dylan to... You get the idea. He wants to wait until the baby is born to sign the papers and insists on paying me for it out of his share of the profits.”

  After she put the napkin down, she picked up her glass of sweet tea and shook her head. “He doesn’t know it yet, but I’m not taking any of his money. I’ll put it into a trust fund for the baby. The other thing we need a lawyer for is to make the new name of the ranch official.”

  “What’s the new name?”

  “Butterfly. Can you believe Mr. Tough Guy came up with it?”

  “Dylan?”

  “Yep.”

  They both laughed.

  Tracy leaned back into the booth and folded her arms over her chest. “You must really love my brother.”

  “I’ve never known a man like him.”

  Tracy’s face was as bright as a supernova, but suddenly a great shadow eclipsed it. “He doesn’t know.”

  It was a statement, not a question, but she answered anyway. “No, he doesn’t. I’m not sure how he feels about me either.” Many times she’d thought she’d felt his love, but she’d been convinced the other losers she’d been with had loved her, too.

  Tracy regarded her for a long time before bending forward and placing her arms on the scruffy tabletop. “Charli, Dylan cares a great deal about you.”

  Unable to meet Tracy’s eyes, she played with the condensation on her glass. “I know. He feels something for me, but I don’t know if it’s love. I’ve never been a good judge of love. I’m no stranger to being the one in love and the man just playing me for a fool.”

  “I’ve done that myself.”

  Charli looked up at the other woman. “Your ex?”

  Tracy picked up her beer. “I never really loved him, and he never loved me. To him I was the grand prize in a game. I meant not being able to judge whether someone loves me.”

  Tracy took a deep breath and let it out. Her shoulders slumped as she leaned more into a slouch. “When Zack Cartwright and I were seniors in high school, we were quite an item. He was a bad-ass junior rodeo champ who had probably ridden as many girls as he had broncos.” Charli blinked at her bluntness, causing Tracy to laugh, but it was a sad sound. “Sorry.”

  Tracy sipped her beer and continued with her story. “When we were in seventh grade, Zack gave me a nickname most guys around here still refer to me as–Olive Oyl. But something happened the fall of our senior year. Zack went after me with both guns, and I was too caught up by the idea of Zack Cartwright wanting me, to think straight. We went out, and before the night was over I’d given him my most prized possession–my virginity. Hell, the boy was only seventeen and had a special pocket in his wallet for condoms. Good thing though, because after that night, we couldn’t stay away from each other.”

  Folding her arms over the table and leaning in, she said, “I didn’t realize Zack loved me until it was too late. I never knew how he felt. But I didn’t want to be the one with the broken heart, so I decided to be the one to cut my losses and get out. He and a barrel racer by the name of Dawn Madison”–at her puckered brow, Tracy added–“yeah, his lieutenant–always seemed to be at the same rodeos together. I knew she wanted Zack and let my imagination, along with Jake Parker’s lies, cloud my judgment. Late in the summer after graduation, Zack and Dawn had competed in the same two rodeos together. Jake, Zack’s best friend, told me a bunch of lies, including that he had always loved me and wanted me. That I deserved better than Zack.” She looked away and murmured, “On our third date, I let things go too far.”

  Tracy took another sip of beer. “The day Zack returned home from Houston, he came over to Oak Springs where my mom and I were living at the time, to see me.” She snorted and drained the beer. “He saw me, all right. He found Jake and me in the barn–together.”

  Tracy looked out the window beside their table, and she couldn’t mask the wistful regret in her voice. “I broke Zack’s heart and didn’t realize until it was too late I broke my own heart, too. All because I was too afraid to tell him I loved him.”

  “You still love him?” she asked after a few tense moments. “Zack, I mean.”

  Tracy looked up at her, and said a little too quickly, “No.”

  Their food arrived, and to her delight, the corned beef sandwich was the best she’d ever eaten.

  Tracy wasn’t ready to put the conversation about past loves to bed. She pinned her with intense pewter eyes. “Dylan was hurt by Brenda. Just like I hurt Zack. I found out later he’d bought me a ring with prize money he’d won from the rodeos. He’d come over to the ranch to ask me to marry him, only to catch me with his best friend.”

  “Ouch.”

  Tracy smiled and it seemed oddly placed in the story of broken hearts and lost love, especially since she suspected Tracy was still very much in love with Sheriff Zachery Cartwright. “But you know what? Zack got over me. He met a woman in Wyoming when he was riding the professional rodeo circuit. They fell in love and had a beautiful little girl together.”

  If Tracy regretted the fact, she hid it well.

  Tracy pointed a ketchup-covered french fry at Charli. “Dylan has never been able to hide his feelings from me. I know he loves you, even if he hasn’t told you. I’d bet my paycheck on it.” Tracy wiggled her perfectly arched eyebrows at her, stuffed the fry into her mouth and quickly chewed.

  Charli laughed and shook her head. “I think you’re crazy.”

  “A common enough speculation.” Tracy sipped the glass of water the waiter had brought with their meals. “Tell me, has my brother called our parents with the news they’re gonna be grandparents?”

  “I don’t think so.” She rearranged her fries on her plate. Tracy’s conviction that Dylan loved her didn’t send relief washing over her. Was he still afraid the baby wasn’t his? “He told me that he wanted to wait a little while.”

  “He’s an idiot.”

  She laughed, but it was choppy-sounding even to her. “I usually call him a jerk.”

  “He’s that, too. Don’t let his putting off telling Mom and Dad about you and the baby bother you, Charli. He hasn’t talked to our parents more than two or three times since coming back to Texas. Hell, I had to remind him to send Mom flowers on Mother’s Day. He feels like he’s let Dad down or something.”

  “I hope they can accept me, since Dylan and I won’t be getting married.”

  “Married or not, I know they’ll love you. You changed my brother’s life. And for that I’m grateful.” Tracy reached across the table and squeezed her hand. The gesture and Tracy’s words brought the sting of tears to her eyes. “I’ve always wanted a sister. Welcome to the family, Charli.”

  “I’ve always wanted a sister, too,” she croaked, realizing just how lonely she’d been before Dylan Quinn had driven into her life.

  Chapter 19

  Two weeks after Charli picked out wallpaper
and paint samples at the boutique in Waco, she had the small nursery beside their bedroom completely redecorated. Dylan helped with stripping the paint and ripping up the grungy carpeting, but she’d been determined to do most of the work herself.

  The sound of a vehicle crunching on the gravel of the driveway drew her attention out the open window. She didn’t recognize the Jeep Wrangler and was surprised when Ella Larson got out.

  She climbed off the stepstool and put away the electric screwdriver with which she’d been attaching hardware for a curtain rod. The doorbell chimed as she headed toward the front door.

  Ella gave her a shaky smile after she opened the door. “I’m sorry if I’m interrupting something.”

  Returning Ella’s smile, she stepped out of the opening. “No, not at all. Please come in.”

  Ella looked around the freshly painted foyer with its new molding and hardwood floors and spiral staircase. “This is really nice.”

  “Thanks. The guys just finished it two days ago. Would you like something to drink? I just made some coffee a little while ago.”

  Ella fidgeted with her oversized leather purse. “No, thanks.”

  Charli led her into the living room, and after they were seated, Ella said, “Annie ran away again.”

  The breath left her lungs, and she had to struggle to get enough back in to form words. “Oh, no.”

  Ella swallowed hard and looked down at her clasped hands. “My brother found her hitch-hiking along Highway 6. She’s home again, and I’ve locked her in her room.”

  “You know that’s not going to work.”

  Nodding, Ella sighed. “I don’t know what else I can do.” Ella looked away again and sheepishly said, “Annie got mad at me because I wouldn’t let her come out here. She told me you offered her a job.”

  Charli leaned back into the couch cushion. After speaking with Annie, she had talked to Ella, but she’d never mentioned that part of the conversation. She’d only told Ella about inviting Annie to go riding, which Ella wasn’t sure about allowing.

  “I wouldn’t say I offered her a job.” She brushed loose hair from her face. “I did say I may someday need a trainer for my horses, but I didn’t mean...now. Mostly, I offered her my friendship.”