by Nikki Ash
“Call me when you decide. But Cooper, think hard because she deserves more than a guy to claim her as his just because he thinks it’s what he is suppose to do, and then change his mind later because he doesn’t really want her. You can hurt me all you want, but you will not hurt our daughter.”
And with that I hand him back his phone and head back into the checkout line. He grabs me by my wrist, looks deep into my eyes and says, “You gave her the flamingo I gave you.” He doesn’t ask. He states it. He remembers.
I nod my head quickly and then he nods back and walks away as Kayla and Bella walk over to join me. Kayla asks if everything is ok.
“Yeah, let’s go make some yummy brownies and ice cream.”
“Finally” Bella huffs out, and we laugh at her impatience.
* * *
Cooper
Total. Mind. Fuck. That’s what I feel right now as I watch Liz walk out of the store holding hands with my daughter. Our daughter. Liz and I have a daughter. We created that precious little girl together five years ago. I have a daughter that I had no idea about and it’s my own fault for walking away that day and leaving her no way to contact me.
She looks like a beautiful perfect mixture of Liz and me. She has my green eyes and light brown hair but it is curly like Liz’s. She has tanned skin just like the both of us and when she smiles I can see a piece of my mom in her from her happier days.
For the last fifteen years I have told myself a wife and kids will never be in my future. After watching my parents destroy each other and our home, I never want to put anybody I care for in that position which means there has never been any room for love in my life. But looking at that precious little girl and her mother walk away from me I want to run after them. I can’t believe my dad actually told her I wanted nothing to do with her. He and I are definitely going to get a few things straight.
I jump in my car and head back to the gym and go straight to his office. He is finishing up a phone call so I wait. He looks up at me without a smile and I am once again reminded of how miserable this guy really is. I don’t think he has smiled in years. He has no real friends and he hasn’t dated that I know of since my mom. I can’t imagine living my life like this.
“To what do I owe this pleasure, son? Are you planning on training at all today or are you taking a page from Bentley’s book and are simply here to take up space?”
To think for a second I almost felt sorry for him. The truth is he has chosen to live this way. He has chosen to push everyone away including his own son, and now without even realizing it, he tried to push away the mother of his granddaughter. I have had enough.
“I am so sick of the way you treat everyone around you. We all bust our ass at this gym, and nothing is ever good enough. You walk around here all high and mighty putting everybody down. I get mom cheated on you but did that make it ok to destroy her? And what the fuck did I ever do to you? I have tried to love you and be a good son to you but you don’t want love and you sure as hell don’t want me as a son.”
He leans back in his chair annoyed that I am ranting off to him. “What’s got your panties in a twist now, Liam? I don’t have time for this. Get to the point please.”
“Alright, I will get to the point. Did you tell Liz I want nothing to do with her and then send her away?”
“Yeah, I did. You don’t need that distraction and she definitely doesn’t need to be coming up in this gym looking for you. Keep your pussy where it belongs, in the bedroom!”
It takes everything I have not to punch him in his face. I only refrain myself because I know if I do punch him I will be falling into his trap. He is always looking for a fight.
I do and say the only thing I can because at the end of the day the only person I can control is myself. “I am done here. I am done with you and this fucking gym and I doubt that you even care but I am done being your son. Find a new moneymaking machine for this gym. I am done.”
I turn to walk out the door and he calls my name. For a second I hope that he will apologize, tell me to come back in and want to make this right, but I know deep down that’s not his style.
He lifts his chin and says, “Don’t bother coming back when you destroy your entire career over a piece of trashy pussy. You are a disgrace to this gym and to the UFC. Close the door on your way out.”
I don’t even bother responding. I just shake my head and walk out. He will never change and I am done living my life like this. If his advice is to stay away from Liz maybe I should do the opposite because I will do anything to not end up like him. I head to the locker room and gather my shit.
Bentley and Kaden come in as I am walking out and they both see all my stuff in my hands and then look back towards the empty locker.
“Are you seriously leaving? Where are you going to go?”
I know Kaden is concerned because he is under contract with this gym. He can’t train me if I am not training here.
“I have no idea. I just found out my dad sent away Liz when she came here yesterday to tell me that… get this shit, I have a daughter.”
“Oh, shit.”
“What the fuck.”
“Yeah, I ran into Liz and Bella, that’s her name, at the grocery store. She looks just like me. It’s crazy. Apparently she was scared to tell me because I pushed her away by telling her I didn’t want a wife or kids the other night. She got the guts to come here to tell me anyways and my dad decided to be my personal secretary and tell her I didn’t want to see her! He actually sent her away. I went to his office to confront him and not only did he admit to it but he defended his actions. I told him I am done here. I just can’t do this shit anymore with him.”
Both of them are looking at me with sympathy in their eyes. They have watched me go through this shit with my parents for years.
“So what are you going to do?” Bentley finally asks.
“I don’t know. I just need some time to think. I am gonna head home and take a few days to figure this all out. Liz told me I am either all in or all out as far as our daughter goes, and I don’t blame her. Bella deserves to have stability in her life. I need to think about all this. You guys should have seen her. She is so adorable and smart. She has my attitude.
The guys both laugh at that.
I take a deep breath, release it, and continue. “I just don’t know if I can be the dad she deserves. Look at the example I had growing up. A dad barely home, who put his career above his family, then when his wife cheats on him he lashes out and destroys her entire world turning her into a drunk. And where does that leave Liz and me? She’s been doing this on her own for four damn years because I walked away without giving her my number. She doesn’t need this shit in her life. She has this image in her head of what it would be like when I found out and I fucked it all up before she could even tell me. I just need to wrap my head around all of this. I don’t want to make their life worse.”
Kaden and Bentley both nod their heads in understanding. I am sure they want to say something but they can sense I just can’t deal with it right now.
“I’m gonna head home. I will let you know what I decide.”
“Bro, you know I got your back. If you are sure about leaving this gym, I am too.”
I nod my head and give Bentley a small smile to thank him.
Kaden adds in, “You know I can’t leave here but whatever you need from me, I got you. We will figure this out.”
I pat him on this shoulder and thank him. I walk out of the locker room and out of the gym for what I think will be for the last time.
Chapter Eleven
Cooper
It’s been five days since I walked out of the gym. I haven’t spoken to anybody during that time. I have started going for a run in the morning and in the evening down by the lake in my neighborhood. Years of training for hours a day keeps me from being able to just sit at home and do nothing. I have had some time to think about what I want to do now that I am away from my dad and the gym. I am thinking about joining another traini
ng center to get me through this title fight and then taking some time off.
Between all the wins I have had over the last ten years, my contract with the UFC, and the several endorsements and sponsorship deals I have, I have a nice cushion in the bank.
It sucks that Kaden won’t be able to train me anymore but I just can’t be around my dad. His latest stunt was the last straw. I have been thinking a lot about Bella and Liz and where I want things to go with them. I need to spend some time getting to know my little girl and her mother. Now that I know I have a daughter I need to step it up as a dad and make sure I am nothing like mine. Then there is Liz and I; there was definitely a connection there between us both times we hooked up but I don’t know if I fucked it all up beyond repair when I said all that shit to her. When she was going on and on at the store she made a comment about me not wanting to be with her but she never actually said she doesn’t want to be with me so maybe there’s still a chance for us to get to know each other.
I look down at my phone ringing and check the caller id hoping it’s Liz but it’s just my mom. I send it to voicemail because I have too much going on in my head to deal with her right now. I am not surprised that Liz hasn’t reached out to me since the day at the grocery store but I was still hoping she would. She obviously meant it when she said she was leaving the ball in my court so I am going to need to call her soon so we can talk.
My phone starts ringing and I see it’s my mom, again. I haven’t had a real conversation with her in almost two years. She calls and leaves voicemails occasionally and I text her back I am busy. She doesn’t usually call back to back so I decide to answer it in case it’s important.
“Hey mom, sorry, I was just out running. Everything ok?”
I can immediately hear her sniffling into the phone but she hasn’t said anything yet.
“Mom, are you drunk?”
She starts crying harder. “No, I am not drunk. If you could ever stand to speak to me for more than five seconds you would know that…”
I cut her off because I just don’t have the patience to deal with her right now on top of everything.
“Ok, mom. If you aren’t drunk then what’s going on? I am kind of busy right now.”
I can hear her sigh into the phone. “Liam, it’s your father. He had a heart attack.”
“Is he ok?”
“No, sweetie, he’s not. I am sorry but he didn’t make it. I guess he never updated his emergency contact information so they called me.”
I sit down in the grass and stare out into the lake. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about this. For years I wished he would just disappear but I never wished him dead. He was so damn unhappy all the time. I just wish he had found a way to be happy before passing away. He never even knew he had a granddaughter. Shit, my mom doesn’t even know she is a grandmother.
“How did it happen?”
“The doctor said he was feeling chest pains so he went to the ER. While running tests he had a heart attack and they couldn’t revive him. The tests they ran afterwards said he showed signs of smoke inhalation, which is weird because he doesn’t smoke. They said they found traces of soot in his lungs as well as fluid. They think he might have been in a fire and the fluid in his lungs most likely lead to the shortness of breath, which caused him to have respiratory failure. I am here at the hospital now. Can you come down?”
“Yeah, I am heading back to the house now; I will be there as soon as I can.”
“Ok, sweetie. I will see you when you get here.”
I hit end on the phone and begin to jog back to the house. Respiratory failure from smoke inhalation? It doesn’t make any sense. Where the hell was he that he was inhaling smoke?
* * *
Liz
Three hours earlier…
“Bella, if you don’t get out of bed right this instant I am going to hide Maleficent from you!” I yell down the hall to my sleepyhead daughter as I finish getting dressed.
I have an interview at an accounting firm and if we don’t get moving I will never make it across town in time. I don’t know what I was thinking agreeing to an interview so close to when I have to drop Bella off at school.
The first week of school went great. She was so excited to be going she was up and ready before the crack of dawn. Now, the newness has worn off and she is back to wanting to sleep until noon. Not happening, especially not today. I finish putting on my heels and run back to her room to make sure she is up and getting ready. The fact that she didn’t respond to my threat of taking away her favorite movie isn’t a good sign.
I walk inside her room and sure enough she is still curled up in her sheets with her little head poking out softly snoring away.
“Bella Faith! You have got to get up. Did you hear me? I am going to take away Maleficent for a week.”
She pushes her covers down just enough that I can see her attitude peeking through. “Oh mommy, you can have it because it’s not my favorite no more. Dolphin Tale is my new favorite.” See? Didn’t I tell you? New movie every month!
She starts to contemplate something and I would laugh at her if I weren’t running so late.
Then she actually has the nerve to say, “Mommy, if I get out of bed can we go buy a dolphin? I want a Winter! Pleeeease!”
In this moment I realize my daughter could be a professional hostage negotiator and to be honest at this point I probably would buy her, her own dolphin just to get her out of bed but I am definitely not going to tell her that. Parenting rule number one: You don’t give in to the battle. You give in once and it’s all down hill. At this rate, by next week I will have to buy her a car to get her out of bed!
“Bella Faith Browning” I am trying hard to keep my composure because you can’t let the enemy know you are sweating.
“No, I will not buy you a dolphin and I am not negotiating with you. Get up now.”
She starts giggling. Yup, actual full-on giggling. I have no clue what she thinks is funny but in a second I am going to send her butt to the ocean to play with the dolphins!
“Bella what is so funny? Please get out of bed.”
“Mom” she says between giggles. “I don’t want to buy a real dolphin! I want to buy a cute squishy one at the toy store. One that is grey and smooth just like Winter the dolphin. Duh! Where would we even put a real dolphin? Wait a second; can it fit in the bathtub? How big is a real dolphin?”
Once again, Kayla, my savior comes to the rescue.
“How about you go to your interview and I will take Bella to school? I have the morning off. They are cutting back hours at the sports center.” She is sporting a sad smile that tells me her loss of hours is really upsetting her even though she doesn’t want me to worry.
God, I am such a crappy friend. Kayla works so hard and she is stressing out since she is the sole provider in this house. I really need to get this job. She has done so much for us over the years. I need to pull my weight around here as well.
“Ok, thank you.” I say as I glare at my darling daughter who is back to snuggling under the sheets. I will deal with her later, hopefully after I am employed.
“Wish me luck.” I kiss Bella on the forehead and give Kayla a one armed hug and then I rush out the door hoping I will come home employed.
I am at the interview and it is not going well. First of all, my phone keeps vibrating in my purse, which keeps distracting me. On top of that the gentleman, Ryan, who is running the interview is speaking in a monotone voice and looks like he is bored out of his mind to be here. I know. I know. Do I really expect a job that involves crunching numbers to be fun? I guess not but I would think he should at least look somewhat happy to be here. If this is how I am going to look if I get a job here... No, thank you.
My phone vibrates in my purse again and he looks at me with an eyebrow raised daring me to answer it. What the hell, I’m not going to take this job anyways. What if it’s an emergency?
I excuse myself for a moment to take the call. “Liz, thank
God you answered.” I look back at the phone and it doesn’t have a name on the caller id.
“Umm, yes, it’s me. May I ask who’s calling?”
“Liz, it’s Bentley. Listen; there has been an accident. Kayla and Bella are both in the hospital. I was here getting my hand checked out and saw them come in the ambulance. You need to get here right away.”
I don’t even bother explaining anything to Ryan. I grab my purse and with the phone still to my ear I run out the door with a million horrible thoughts going through my head. “Ok, I am on my way. Bentley, are they ok? What happened?”
“I don’t know. I’m not family so they won’t tell me anything. Apparently you are Kayla and Bella’s only emergency contact and they have been trying to reach you. I would just get down here now.”
I tell him I am on my way and hang up. Driving down the highway I feel like I am having a panic attack. Not having any idea what’s wrong causes me to consider every worst-case scenario possible and as a mom those scenarios are really freaking scary!
After going at least twenty over, and running every light and stop sign on the way, I make it to the hospital and run up to the ER’s front desk in a panic.
“Hi, I need to find out what’s happened to Kayla Peterson and Bella, I mean Isabella Browning. I was told they were brought in by ambulance. Do you know where I can find them?”
The nurse gives me a small smile and types on her computer. “Isabella Browning is the children’s wing room 245C and… Kayla Peterson is in the patient recovery wing around the corner room 156R. It says here they were brought in for smoke inhalation.”
My heart starts beating even faster and I feel like I can’t breathe myself. Oh God, my poor baby and Kayla! “Smoke inhalation? What happened? Are they ok?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am. Unfortunately I can’t answer either of those questions. It does say both are stable. If you want to head to the children’s wing the nurse on call can fill you in.”
I tell her thank you and head to the children’s wing first. I hate that I can’t go to both of them but I know Kayla would understand the need to get to my precious baby first.
