Old Habits

by Tabatha Kiss

  I blink. “Their what?”

  “Yeah.” She crosses her arms. “Apparently, I can’t be trusted to be alone with you, so they’re going to follow us around and cock block us whenever they can.”

  “You’re kidding.”

  “I’m paraphrasing but that’s the general gist of what he said.”

  I glance around the square, locking eyes with a few passing couples as they wander by. They all immediately turn away and pretend they weren’t watching as soon as they take notice.

  “What the fuck?” I whisper.

  Jovie shoots off the bench, silently steaming as she stares at everyone around us.

  I rise up and lay my hand on her shoulder. “Jove, I—”

  “I’m going home.”

  She spins around and takes off across the square.

  “Wait, Jovie…” I catch up to her with a few wide strides. “I don’t care what they think, okay? Screw ‘em. Just ignore it.”

  “I knew I shouldn’t have come back here.”

  My chest tightens. “Hold on—”

  “Jovie Watch?” she says. “Jovie Watch?!”

  Her voice echoes throughout the square, causing a few to look up and watch in a more obvious way.

  “Okay,” I whisper, “if you don’t calm down then you’re only going to confirm what they think of you.”

  “Good!” she shouts. “If loud, unhinged Jovie Ross is who they want, then that’s exactly who they’ll get.” She steps off the sidewalk and kicks the edge of a trash can. “There! Oooh, no! Better call the sheriff! Jovie’s gone amok!”

  I stand still, watching her seethe until the color drains from her face and her breathing slows back to normal.

  “Are you finished?” I ask.

  “I haven’t done anything to these people…” She sighs. “Sure, I wore leather pants and I liked sex and motorcycles but I never hurt anybody. I never deliberately brought pain on anybody.”

  “Except me.”

  I regret it as soon as the words leave my mouth. Her eyes darken and she takes a step back.

  “Will, I never did anything to purposefully hurt you,” she says.

  “Then, why did you leave? I know I said I wouldn’t ask but, honestly, it’s pretty obvious that your silence isn’t to protect me — it’s to make yourself feel better about whatever the hell you did.”

  She looks down. “I didn’t do anything.”

  My guts churn. “Okay, look, Jovie…” I step forward and rest my hands on her shoulders. Thankfully, she doesn’t move. She stays still with her eyes down low. “Just answer this one question. Did you leave because of me? I need to know that much. Please.”

  Jovie looks up and shakes her head. “No.”

  “No, you won’t answer? Or no, it wasn’t me?”

  “No,” she says again, “it wasn’t you.”

  I lower my hands. “Thank you.”

  My phone rings again in my pocket. I instantly tap the ignore button and throw it back in without checking to see who it is.

  She scans the square again with shame in her eyes. “I’m going home.”

  I walk with her. I can tell she doesn’t want me to but I do it anyway. I keep my eyes open, watching for anyone who dares stare at us. If I do make eye contact with someone, I glare even harder until they look away first.

  Jovie Watch. Are they fucking kidding?

  She’s absolutely right. Jovie never did a damn thing to hurt anyone here. She was rebellious and wild and never took shit from anyone but that doesn’t mean she deserves to live like a damn prisoner here.

  We reach her house and Jovie pauses for one brief second. “Good night, Will,” she murmurs.

  “Jovie—”

  “Just go home,” she adds. “Or I’m sure Mrs. Clark will be around any moment with a sudden need for a cup of sugar…”

  She picks up her pace and rushes inside without turning back.

  I let her walk away. Even if I did follow her inside, I’d have Hank to deal with and he feels about me the same way the town feels about Jovie.

  My phone rings three times during the walk between Jovie’s door and mine. I take a peek each time, just in case it’s her but it’s Sara twice and an unknown number once. I hold down the power to shut it off completely but the damage is already done.

  I’m not sure if I’m more angry or humiliated. Jovie is definitely the latter. I’ve seen her angry face. I’ve seen the way the little vein above her eye protrudes outward during moments of quiet rage but that never happened tonight. She’s embarrassed and humiliated and I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. I want to go back and comfort her but it’s only a matter of time before someone shows up to intervene.

  I won’t let this end without a fight. I’ve waited four years to see her again and I won’t let the people of this town bully her like this — and if I know Jovie Ross… she won’t either.

  I kick off my shoes and head for the kitchen, wondering if I have any booze. I usually don’t like to drink much but there’s been a noticeable spike in frequency since she came back home.

  A long, scratching noise halts me in the hallway. I pause, thinking that I’ve imagined it but it happens again, echoing out from my bedroom. I stand up taller, focusing my hearing until a human grunt touches my ear.

  Someone is breaking into my house.

  I shuffle on quiet feet, roll my hands into careful fists, and head toward the bedroom. There’s a baseball bat by my bed but that doesn’t really help me right now. I flex my jaw, take a deep breath, and peek into the doorway.

  “Ow… Shit.”

  I blink. “Jovie?”

  I flick on the light and there she is, hanging halfway through my bedroom window.

  My jaw drops. “What the hell are you doing?”

  She groans. “My foot is stuck...”

  I cross my arms and lean against the door frame, amused and intrigued by the cleavage begging to spill out of her dress. “Yeah, I can see that.”

  “Will...” She cranes her neck upward and huffs loudly. “May I have your assistance, please?”

  I chuckle and step forward. “You know, I have a door.”

  “Yes,” she says, clinging to my arms as I wrap them around her waist. “And the town probably has nanny cams set up right outside of it.”

  “And your solution was... this?” I pull her through and she lands on her feet.

  “Well, yeah.” She pushes her hair back and smiles. “I always used to climb in through your window before. Seemed appropriate now.”

  “And no one saw you?”

  She shakes her head. “I went out my back door and cut through about twenty lawns to get to yours. No one saw.”

  “So... we’re alone?”

  “Give it ten minutes,” she says. “If no one calls or bangs on the door with torches and pitchforks, then I’d say we have the rest of the night to ourselves.”

  I stare into her shining, devious eyes. “Excellent.”

  Chapter 16

  Jovie

  Old habits are tough to break.

  Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve spent years trying to become a better person, learning new skills, and rewriting bad behavior because my life depended on it. But here, back in Clover, where the winds of change literally turn around and blow in the opposite direction at the border, old habits, good or bad, are the way of life.

  Nothing changes in Clover.

  Might as well embrace it.

  If the town looks at me and sees old Jovie Ross then there’s not much I can do to change their minds. I don’t care to try in the first place. The only person whose opinion matters to me is standing in front of me right now and he’s willing to give me a second chance. I can’t screw that up.

  “I’m sorry about before,” I tell him. “Had to make it look convincing.”

  Will nods. “Oh, it was.”

  “I meant what I said, though. I didn’t leave because I was mad at you or because I wanted to get back at you. I left because it’s what I
felt was right for me at the time. I really am sorry. I should have…” I sigh. “I should have done a lot of things differently, let’s just put it that way.”

  “Well…” He gives a hard stare from my head to my toes. “You’re breathing, and healthy, and I don’t see any horrible scars anywhere, so I can assume what you thought was best for you wasn’t all that bad, so… I’m willing to let it go.”

  “Thank you.”

  “As long as…” he tilts his head, “you kiss me right now.”

  I gasp. “That’s blackmail.”

  “I think it’s technically extortion.”

  “What’s the difference?”

  “I don’t know. I fix cars. I’m not a lawyer. Kiss me.”

  I lean forward, inching slowly toward his lips before veering off to lay a soft peck on his cheek. His aftershave fills my nose, sending tingles through my system as his face twists into a smirk.

  He sighs. “I should have been more specific.”

  “Should have gone to law school, then,” I quip. “So, did any of our date night options include us ending up back at your place for pizza and beer?”

  “I think they all did,” he chuckles.

  “Good.” I bend over to unzip my boots. “Mind if I slip these off? Trekking through two dozen lawns kind of killed my ankles.”

  “Go ahead,” he says, stepping back to the doorway. “Pepperoni and mushroom, right?”

  My mouth waters. “Good memory.”

  He fishes his phone out of his pocket as he enters the hallway. I step out of my boots and set them aside, hearing the faint sound of his voice as he orders us food.

  I move to follow him but a familiar image catches my eye above his desk in the corner.

  A photo hangs from a corkboard. It’s me and Will, lying together beneath my old, white bedsheets. He’s kissing my cheek and I’m smiling at the camera without a care in the world.

  A long tear travels from the top edge all the way down the center to the bottom, slicing us in two. It’s been fused back together with several pieces of clear tape, carefully realigned but a black line still remains between us.

  I reach out and put it free from its pin. We look so young. So bold yet naïve. We must have been seventeen. Maybe eighteen. Our lives were just beginning.

  “Well, that was quick.”

  I glance over my shoulder at Will in the doorway. “What was?”

  He walks over as he slides the phone into his pocket. “The pizza delivery guy just asked how I was holding up.”

  I blink. “Wow. Jovie Watch sure is organized.”

  “It’s okay. I milked it pretty hard and he threw in some free cheesy bread to help make me feel better.”

  “Using emotional manipulation to score free stuff?” I laugh. “I must be rubbing off on you already, Myers.”

  “Must be.” He looks at the photo in my hand. “Oh, yeah. That.”

  “I’d believe you if you said the cat did it, but…” I clear my throat, “I can’t help but notice that you don’t have a cat.”

  “I was angry,” he says slowly. “And then, I wasn’t angry anymore.”

  “Well, I like it. It tells a story, you know? Before, it was just two happy people. Now, they have wrinkles and scars but they’re still there. Still looking all happy and shit.”

  Will snatches it from my hand and sets it down on the desk. “Want a drink?” he asks.

  “Yes, please.”

  We move toward the door but Will stops me. “Hang on…”

  I listen as he closes the window blinds in the front room and I wait patiently in the door frame until he comes back to retrieve me.

  “We’re officially alone,” he says.

  “No torches?”

  “No torches or pitchforks in sight.” His eyes drift from mine to my lips, triggering a rush of heat through my core.

  I hold my breath to keep my knees stable. “Will…”

  He holds up a finger. “Wait… Don’t say anything for a little bit. I want to enjoy this for a second.”

  I count slowly in my head until I reach five. “Enjoy what?”

  “I missed you,” he says. “That’s all.”

  “Yeah. I missed you, too.”

  “We’ve known each other since we were kids. Felt strange not having you down the street all the time; causing trouble.”

  “If only anyone else agreed.”

  “Tucker does.”

  I roll my eyes. “Tucker once took a bullfrog to a school dance.”

  “Because you dared him to.”

  I chuckle. “Oh, yeah…”

  Will steps back through the hallway toward the kitchen. I follow behind him, casually glancing at his firm rear in the shadows.

  “No, Jovie,” he says, popping the refrigerator open. “You’re not as universally hated around here as you might think.”

  I lean on the island counter. “Name one other person besides you or Tucker.”

  Will sets two ice cold beers on the counter. “My mom.”

  I pause. “Rachel? Really?”

  He nods. “Whenever Sara would start ranting and complaining about you and us, Mom would hum and agree but once Sara turned away, she’d look at me and wink. I think she enjoyed living vicariously through you.”

  “I knew I always liked your mom.” I pull the tab on my drink. “What about your dad?”

  “He never said much other than a passive ‘whatever, just don’t knock her up.’”

  “Ouch.” I wince slightly. “Actually, Hank used to say the same thing, come to think…”

  “Dads will be dads,” he says. “Though… I still don’t think it would have been the worst thing. I know you disagree, but… admit it, Jove, you and I would have made a cute kid or two.”

  I ignore the sudden burn in my chest. “Maybe.” I take a quick sip and the cold drink stings all the way down. “I still don’t think the timing was right.”

  “I accept that,” he says. “It took a while for me to see it but you were right about that. Twenty-year-old me with a wife and a kid basically spelled disaster. I gave into the fantasy that once you get married everything falls into place but I had no job, no real direction, and no motivation to change it. Hell, I lived at home with my parents and I spent every dime I had on that ring. What the hell was I thinking?”

  “You did what everyone said you were supposed to do,” I answer. “It happens to the best of us.”

  “I should have listened to you back then. You were right about everything else. I’m not sure why I thought this was different.”

  “Not everything else. I mean, have you seen my closet?”

  He chuckles. “I’ve spent so much time thinking about what I’d do differently if I could just go back in time to that night. As awful as it was… now that you’re back, I don’t think I would have changed a thing.”

  “Really?” I ask.

  “Seeing you again, like this…” His eyes fall to my waist. “It’s like a pause is what we always needed to get to this point.”

  “So, what you’re saying is…” I smile as I glance around his kitchen, “that me taking off was the best thing that ever happened to you?”

  “In a way, yeah.” He steps around the counter to stand beside me. “I changed and became a better person and a more responsible man because I lost you.”

  My breath catches. “Well…” I swallow. “You’re welcome.”

  He looks at me now like he always used to, like I was the only girl in the world worth gazing at. It floors me the same way and I can hardly move as he places a hand on my cheek.

  “You know,” he says, “I have this memory from when we were kids. I must have been about ten-years-old. I was walking home from school and I saw you sitting on the swings in the park. I said hello to you but you didn’t look up.”

  I chuckle. “Sorry.”

  “You had your head down just staring at your shoes and I remember thinking, ‘but she’s so pretty. What does she have to be sad about?’”

&n
bsp; “Oh, I probably wasn’t sad,” I joke. “My resting bitch face came in around the same time as my breasts.”

  He laughs. “I could tell the difference, even back then. Not with your breasts, of course. Although, they developed beautifully, by the way. Kudos.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I used to say things to you just to get you to smile,” he says. “It worked sometimes and it would make my day.”

  “Mine, too,” I say, trembling beneath the touch of his hand.

  “Then, I’d try to make you laugh. That was harder to do but not impossible.”

  I raise a brow. “Is that why you used to trip up the stairs at school a lot?”

  “It is.” He nods.

  “Damn. Good job.”

  “Then, later…” he leans closer, “I’d touch you just to hear the sudden intake of your breath and feel the tremors beneath your skin.” His lips brush against mine. “I’d kiss you just to hear you moan… and then I’d go down on you just to hear you scream.”

  I sigh, softly shaking as my knees threaten to give. My hands rise to his waist. He puts a little pressure on my neck, tilting my face upward and I part my lips as he kisses me. It rocks my core, yanking me back to a simpler time and I take hold of him to draw him closer.

  The doorbell rings and Will pulls back.

  “Damn…” he whispers. “They’re fast.”

  “I’ll hide out in here,” I say.

  He cups my face and kisses me again, holding on for several seconds before letting go. I step back, moving deeper into the kitchen to stay out of view as he heads for the front door. Murmuring voices travel in from the living room but I can’t make out a single word over the intense pounding of blood in my ears.

  The door closes again and Will returns with two thin boxes stacked in his hands.

  “So,” I say, “about that blank slate…”

  “To hell with it.”

  He abandons the boxes on the counter and rushes over to take me in his arms again. He pulls me against him, gripping hard as he crushes his lips on mine. I throw my arms around his neck as my knees finally give out but his strong arms hold me up.

  “I want you…” His voice rasps through his throat.

  God, I want him, too. I want him to pick me up and carry me to his bed. I want him to touch me from head-to-toe and fuck me all night long like he used to. All of it. All of him. I want it all back the way it was before.