Teresa Medeiros

by Once an Angel

  At that moment a path parted through the jostling crowd, revealing the golden-eyed tiger clawing his way through their midst.

  Emily’s heart leaped in her throat, and she went flying across the room to fling herself into the mad savage’s arms.

  Chapter 28

  I hesitate to shatter Justin’s faith in his friend.…

  Emily snuffled into Justin’s rumpled waistcoat. “Oh, Justin, it was awful!” she wailed. “Tansy made me wear this ridiculous dress, and there was this horrid man with the whitest, sharpest teeth you’ve ever seen just like the Big Bad Wolf’s and the most cleverly knotted tie. Better than Penfeld’s even. And then there was Barney lurking in doorways, waiting to jump out at me just like he did at Foxworth’s, and he said the most awful things.”

  Emily was too intent on gulping in the musky spice of Justin’s scent to realize how strangely stiff he stood in her embrace. Clutching his sleeves, she tilted her head and peered up at his face. It was set in lines of polished granite. She dropped her arms and backed away from him, more afraid than she’d been in the entire terrible night.

  In grim silence he reached down, pried her lollipop off his sleeve, and thrust the fuzzy offender into her hand. He wouldn’t even look at her. His eyes were all for the buxom woman who came sauntering out of the crowd.

  Gone was the grandmotherly creature who had spooned warm broth down Emily’s throat and bussed her cheek good night. Mrs. Rose’s ample curves undulated beneath the blush satin sheath of her dress. “You’re that renegade duke, aren’t you?” she drawled.

  “Those damn ruffians have scuffled with a duke. Bloody hell, we’re done for now,” breathed one of the women.

  The guard who was still conscious awkwardly tried to brush off Justin’s cloak. Justin shoved his hand away.

  “Justin Marcus Homer Lloyd Farnsworth Connor … the third,” he added, bowing and bringing Mrs. Rose’s hand to his lips. “At your service.”

  “I should be so lucky.” She looked him up and down with the approving eye of a woman who has developed an appreciation for raw male beauty in all of its forms. “I once knew a Farnsworth Connor. But he always let me call him Frank. Among other things.” She planted a hand on her hip. “I’m not averse to a bit of brawling on a Saturday night, Your Grace, but perhaps I could interest you in some of our more … delicate pleasures.”

  Justin finally looked at her then, but Emily wished he hadn’t. She hardly recognized the man who swaggered toward her. The crowd melted back, leaving her to face him alone. He circled her leisurely, his cloak swirling around his ankles. His hungry gaze devoured every inch of her. Her traitorous nipples tightened against the sheer material of her bodice, and a flush shot up her throat. She stared at the carpet, mortified. His blunt masculine scrutiny made her feel more like a whore than any of Barney’s slurs.

  He stroked the backs of his fingers down her cheek. Emily shivered at the deft touch, but resisted the lure of his stormy gaze.

  His hand dropped to his side. “Little Bo Peep here will do just fine,” he announced, all business again.

  Her flush turned to one of anger. It was bad enough to be publicly humiliated. He didn’t have to poke fun at her silly costume.

  Emily would never know if it was concern for her customer’s satisfaction or a latent qualm of maternal conscience that forbade the throwing of lambs to lions, but Mrs. Rose bustled forward, clucking her disapproval. “Oh, no, she won’t do at all. Far too young and raw for your seasoned palate, I’m sure. Perhaps one of my more refined lovelies …”

  She dragged forward a girl draped in the gauzy veil of the harem and thrust her at him. The hapless Peggy shrank back against her mistress, and Emily couldn’t blame her. With his jaw unshaven, his hair tousled, and his eyes burning with contemptuous fire, Justin looked like the sort of heathen to debauch maidens with one hand while swilling down a tankard of virgin’s blood with the other.

  He looked Emily dead in the eye. “I want her.”

  Emily’s knees quivered. Mrs. Rose harrumphed nervously and went in search of more tempting bait. “Why, here’s my Solange, quite skilled in the Far Eastern art of—”

  A fat purse of Persian leather clinked to the carpet at her feet. The madam bent and retrieved it, obviously intrigued by its rustle.

  “A hundred pounds,” Justin said coolly.

  A gasp traveled around the parlor. Emily’s suspicion that Mrs. Rose would sell her own daughter for a hundred pounds was strengthened as an avaricious smile curved the woman’s lips.

  She gave Emily an apologetic shrug. “Why don’t you accompany His Grace upstairs, my dear? I do believe he’s just the man to help you find your lost sheep.”

  Justin wasted no time. He swept her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

  “Is the carriage outside? Are we going home now?” Emily asked hopefully, bobbing with each of his purposeful strides. But those strides were carrying them not toward the door, but the stairs. She kicked and squirmed, but his muscular arm only tightened across her rump, holding her fast. “I don’t want to go back up there, Justin. Really I don’t.”

  To her embarrassment, as they started up the stairs the crowd began to cheer and shout encouragement. Barney emerged from his rat hole and hooted, “Poke ’er once fer me, mate!”

  Howling in outrage, Emily reached over the banister and slapped the lollipop in his greasy hair.

  Emily bounced on Justin’s back like a sack of meal. The muscled ridge of his shoulder cut off her breath with each long stride.

  “You … might … consider … putting … me … down,” she gasped.

  He ignored her. He paused at the first door they encountered and kicked it open, jarring Emily’s entire body.

  She heard an angry cry and a muffled squeak of protest.

  “Sorry,” he said, but his tone was unrepentant.

  He swung away from the door without bothering to close it, treating Emily to a most sordid sight. She twisted her head to the left, then to the right, before slapping her hands over her eyes. “My goodness! She must be frightfully agile, mustn’t she? I saw something like that once in the circus.”

  Justin maintained his stony silence. His foot slammed into the next door. To Emily’s distress, the room was unoccupied.

  “I should really like to go home now,” she said in a small voice.

  He tossed her on the bed and strode back to bolt the door. She sat up and hugged her knees, curling into a timid knot among the rumpled sheets. Stale perfume rose from their folds, and she tried not to think about what might have transpired there only moments earlier. A dank chill hung in the fireless room.

  Justin whipped off his cloak and threw it over a chair, then turned to face her. Emily realized she had seen him angry before, but never so coldly furious.

  He raked a hand through his hair. “I haven’t slept for over thirty-six hours. I’ve spent the last twelve of those combing every lice-infested claphouse in London for you.” A single word shot from his lips. “Why?”

  She bowed her head, struggling to gather the threads of her pride, sensing she might need them. When she lifted her head, her eyes were dry, her voice calm. “I no longer wished to be a burden to you. I wanted my freedom.”

  “Freedom?” His voice cracked on a disbelieving note. He crossed to the bed and snatched her up by the shoulders. “Is this what you call freedom? Spreading your legs for any man willing to lay down his coin?” His eyes blazed, giving her a harrowing glimpse of the raw hurt fueling his anger.

  An uncontrollable shaking seized her. She couldn’t look him in the eye.

  He lowered her. “Fine,” he said with glacial calm. “I’ve paid my coin.”

  He dragged off his tie and began to unbutton his waistcoat.

  Emily scrambled back against the headboard. “Not you?” she whispered, horror-struck.

  He stood with legs planted firmly apart, his fists resting on his narrow hips. “Any man but me, eh? How gratifying. Didn’t Mrs. Rose teach you to flatt
er your clients, not unman them?”

  Emily could tell by the precise cut of Justin’s broadcloth trousers that he was in no danger of being unmanned.

  He strode to the bed and cupped her head in his palm. His long fingers tangled in her curls in a travesty of tenderness. “Sorry, darling, but whores don’t have the privilege of picking and choosing their liaisons. For a hundred pounds I’ll expect a little enthusiasm.” His lips came down on hers in a silken whisper. “Fake it if you must.”

  Emily expected his kiss to be brutal, only to find it utterly ruthless in its gentleness. His mouth played over hers with merciless skill, teasing, tugging with his teeth, then laving her parted lips with his tongue, priming her for its deeper invasion. His was the kiss of the concubine, enslaving with its promise of erotic pleasures to come. It was a kiss to steal not only her body, but her soul as well. The first tear slipped from her lashes before he could pause to draw a breath.

  He blew softly on her moistened lips. “Emily, sweet Emily,” he whispered hoarsely. “You were made for this, weren’t you? Made to pleasure a man.”

  Not just any man, her heart cried. Only him.

  He slid his tongue between her lips, taking her mouth in deep possessive strokes as he eased her back on the bed She felt herself sliding irrevocably beneath the lean, hard planes of his body. His hands glided down her sides, grazing the swell of her breasts, the slender dip of her waist. His palms cupped her rear, molding her for his pleasure, the sheer dress a gossamer web between them.

  Emily felt herself losing to the consummate seduction of this cool, practiced stranger. Losing everything she had fought so hard to win. Her pride. Her independence. Even the anger that had kept the world at bay until she had washed up into Justin’s waiting arms. She had outwitted the sea, only to find herself drowning in a deeper pool. She had leaned over to find her reflection in its still, cool depths and been dragged into a whirling maelstrom of passion. If she couldn’t kick her way to the surface, she knew she would die a thousand shuddering deaths beneath his artful touch.

  She tugged her mouth away from his. She was crying in earnest now, small convulsive sobs that wouldn’t stop. “Please, Justin. Not like this.”

  “Shhh,” he whispered. He gently stroked her breast, soothing her puckered nipple beneath his thumb. His other hand wandered lower. “That’s it, darling, open your legs for me. You’re so sweet, Em. So sweet and hot … and wet.”

  Her sob broke on a moan.

  Justin smothered it with his lips, further beyond her reach than she realized. He had intended only to frighten her, to teach her a lesson. To show her she couldn’t persist in her madcap schemes without suffering the consequences.

  He had expected resistance to his crude assault. But when her soft, trembling lips had parted beneath his, he had become more lost than she. The lesson was out of his hands now. A primal lust overpowered him. He had wanted her for so long … forever, it seemed.

  Maddened by the promise of heaven cupped in his palm, he pressed his fingers deep inside of her, shamelessly ravishing her quivering warmth.

  It was then that he realized how still she was lying beneath him. He lifted his head. She lay shivering, her eyes shut, tears sparkling like gilt on her lashes. Dear God, she was going to allow him to do it, he thought. To take her in the punishing heat of anger. Her abject surrender was so alien to her proud nature that he felt something inside of him twist in anguish.

  Was it any wonder she was confused? One minute he was berating her like a child, the next fondling her like a whore. He hadn’t the courage to treat her like a woman because that might mean losing her forever.

  Blood pounded through his groin in a primal protest, but he knew to take her now would somehow be as cruel or crueler than rape.

  She kept her eyes pressed shut as he wrapped his cloak around her and lifted her. Her arms crept around his neck with a lingering trust that reopened a raw wound in his heart. As Justin strode through the parlor with his burden, Mrs. Rose’s clientele fell into an awed hush. Emily burrowed her face into his chest and he eased a fold of the cloak over her, shielding her from their stares and whispers. The footmen hastily stepped out of his way. Not a soul dared protest as he carried her into the sheltering darkness of the night.

  Penfeld, God bless his proper English soul, didn’t utter a word of reproach when his wild-eyed master came pounding on his bedroom door near midnight.

  “Please,” Justin said, holding out a warm, sleepy bundle. “Take her.”

  The dire consequences of his refusal were clearly implied in Justin’s gaze. Penfeld adjusted his nightcap, set his chimneyed candle on his washstand, and gently removed Emily from his arms. A corner of the cloak fell back to reveal an angelic countenance, marred by grubby tear stains.

  As they disappeared down the shadowy corridor, Penfeld waddling in his long nightshirt, Justin sank into the nearest chair and buried his face in his hands. When the valet returned after tucking Emily into her bed, Justin was gone and the wild, wistful strains of Chopin’s “Fantaisie-Impromptu” were pouring through the silent house.

  Justin slammed the chord home, ignoring the unharmonious groan of the piano. His fingers tore over the keys, no longer content to coax or cajole. They plundered each note, driving the music into the air with the force of a blow. The fine bones in his hands ached. Sweat trickled from his temples. But still he played on, fighting to drown his own wild despair in the crashing magnificence of the music.

  He had thrown open a window, hoping the icy air might cool his fevered senses. The night was moonless. A single candle flickered on top of the piano, bathing him in a pool of fragile light. His battered fingers struck yet another blow, clumsy in their thwarted passion. The many faces of the women he had seen in that long day floated past him. Once he might have been the sore of man who could drown his desires in the perfumed arms of a stranger, but instinct warned him he needed far more than a shuddering spasm of relief to ease his longing for Emily. The music thundered to a crescendo. The shadows danced around him in macabre relief. In that half-beat of peace between one note and the next, he heard it—the faintest whisper of a sigh.

  He was not alone.

  His hands froze above the keys. Who in this household would be mad enough to approach him now? The candle guttered in a gust of wind, and the shadows closed in with the silence. The harsh rasp of his breathing was the only sound.

  He swung around on the bench.

  Emily stood like a ghost in her long white nightdress, clutching her ragged old doll. Her feet were bare and her cheeks still streaked with tear stains. A lump hardened in Justin’s throat. She looked very young, like a child creeping downstairs in the night for a drink of water. But there was no denying her eyes were the eyes of a woman, darkened in some unspeakable plea.

  His emotions choked him. Why couldn’t he hold her? Why couldn’t he draw her into his lap and gently cradle her head to his chest? Why couldn’t he dry her tears on his shirt and promise her everything would be all right?

  Because it would be a lie. And he hadn’t paid the price for his silence all these lonely years to start lying to her now.

  If he laid his hands on her, he wouldn’t stop. The same hand that drew her into his lap would ease her nightdress up over her hips. The same lips that murmured soothing reassurances would cover hers as he laid her back on the piano, parted her ivory thighs, and drove himself home in her honeyed depths. He didn’t dare touch her. He didn’t dare even look at her.

  He turned his face away, feeling his jaw stiffen as if it were set in granite. “Go back to bed, Emily,” he commanded, hardly recognizing the hoarse voice as his own. “Now.”

  He felt her hesitancy, heard the soft shuffle of her bare feet on the rug. Damn her. Why couldn’t she ever do anything the first time she was asked?

  Knowing he had no choice, he swallowed the ruins of his pride and leveled the full force of his raw gaze at her. “Go to your room and lock your door. Please.”

  Her lip
s trembled. A glistening tear slipped down her cheek, then another. The doll thumped to the carpet as she turned and fled. The blackness of the house swallowed her without a trace.

  “I’m sorry, Em. I’m so damned sorry,” he whispered to the silent shadows.

  His words were more heartfelt than she would ever know. He was sorry he had made her cry. Sorry David hadn’t lived to introduce him to his spirited daughter. David had adored them both. Perhaps it wouldn’t have been such a stretch to imagine him blessing their love.

  But David had died, forever taking his blessing with him.

  Justin picked up the doll and set her on the music stand. He smoothed her matted curls. “We’re old friends, you and I, aren’t we?”

  The opaque blue eyes surveyed him without expression. He touched the piano, stroking first one key, then another, but the music had gone, leaving him in utter silence.

  He rose and climbed the stairs, his tread heavy. His steps slowed outside of Emily’s door. He heard nothing from within her room, no sniffing or broken weeping, only a whisper of silence more taunting than an invitation. He braced his brow against the door, choking back a groan. How long would it be before even locks would fail to keep him out? A week? A month? A year? Was he to betray David yet again by seducing his daughter? His hand clenched into a fist against the thick mahogany.

  As he splayed his fingers to ease their tension, the door swung open without a sound.

  Chapter 29

  Please do not begrudge me the peace I have bought with my silence.…

  Hardly daring to breathe, Emily lay back on her pillows and watched the crack between door and frame slowly widen. A man appeared, his lean form silhouetted against the light from the corridor candles. Time swung back to a barren attic room and a thousand other lonely nights. Her heart thundered. Her shadow lover had finally come to her as she had always known he would.

  He closed the door behind him and twisted the key in the lock. The click of the tumbler echoed in the silence. He came toward the bed, measuring his steps as if drawn into a web he no longer had the will to resist.