Big Stick

by R. C. Stephens

  She gravitates toward me. Those blue eyes look like a stormy sea, and those heart-shaped lips look good enough to eat. Our lips crash together, and my tongue slips between her lips, begging entrance. She opens for me, and I am drunk after a small taste. Her tongue mingles with mine, and her hands come up and hold my neck. She reaches up and scrapes my scalp with her nails. My body is on fire as I pin her against the brick wall and rake my hands through her soft hair. I give her hair a little tug, and her head tilts up to me. We are kissing so hard that I suck her breath right out of her, and she gives as good as she’s getting, swiping her tongue in my mouth. The slightest moan escapes her lips.

  “Oh, Myles,” she moans, and the way she says my name has me undone. I answer with a deep groan. As her hands move frantically over the ridges of my arms, reality hits. What am I doing? We are out of sight, but still in public. She gets me so worked up I forget where and who I am. I rest my hands on her shoulders and gently separate us. Her breaths are ragged. The bewilderment on her face matches mine.

  “Shit. Flynn, I’m sorry. I, uh…shouldn’t have done that.” I hold her at arm’s length. “I’m not right for you, either. Dammit.” I curse under my breath. My head is spinning. She has this incredible effect on me, but I should know better than to maul her in a public place—or anywhere, for that matter, but I worry someone could have gotten a picture. It’s my job to protect her.

  I messed up.

  Again.

  Her face falls at my words. I don’t want to hurt her, but what I said is true.

  “Flynn, there you are. Phew.” I jolt at Oli’s arrival and pull my gaze away from Flynn. Oli palms his heart. “I was worried you took off with Nils,” he says between pants.

  I want to tell him that I’m the asshole she took off with. He should punch me out because, by the look on her face, I’ve hurt her again. Fuck. I know she’s had guy troubles this week, and I know she’s moved in with Oli. I was once her best friend. I should have controlled myself better.

  “Nah. I took her away from that douche,” I cut in, because she’s too quiet, and I don’t need her confessing to her brother that I just had my tongue down her throat. Flynn glares at me, and I fear her retaliation for that asshole comment. She scowls then pulls her attention from me and Oli.

  “Where’s Sloane? Damn, I left her with Nils.” She gasps and dashes away. I don’t let out the breath I was holding.

  Chapter Ten

  Flynn

  I’m shaking and lightheaded as I practically run away from my brother and Myles. As I walk briskly through the club to find my bestie, I try to process the kiss and how on earth I let it happen. I just broke up with Matt yesterday. It was a lapse in judgement. Yep. That’s all it was.

  I search for Sloane. I can only imagine Nils must be trying to dry hump her by now, which I’m sure she’s having fun with, but I don’t think a guy like Nils would know how to deal with her V-card. I don’t really think she wants to give that up, anyway. I spot her over by the bar, hunched over the counter. Nils is standing very close behind her. They must be waiting for drinks.

  I come up behind them and tap Nils on the shoulder. He smiles to me and loops his arm around my waist. I’m not feeling as friendly as before. I tap Sloane on the arm, and she turns to face me. “We need to go.”

  Nils interrupts. “Come on the night is just starting.”

  “Sorry. Early morning tomorrow. It was nice meeting you.” I smile politely. He’s still Oli’s teammate, which means I’ll probably be seeing more of him.

  “Nice meeting you,” Sloane echoes, then winks at him and grabs my hand. We head back outside.

  “He was pretty damn hot,” she says with a dreamy look in her eyes.

  “Hockey players are hot, but there’s no future with these guys. Trust me,” I say quickly before walking up to my brother and Myles.

  Sloane turns her head and frowns, catching my meaning. “I know. You’re right. But a girl can dream,” she whispers.

  “He’s Prince Charming to too many girls. He probably can’t stick with one.”

  Myles stands off to the side, staring at the pavement while rubbing the scruff on his chin.

  He thought the kiss was a mistake. He’s right.

  You keep telling yourself that.

  “Flynn, we have a game in town tomorrow night, then we’re leaving for a series of away games.” Oli explains his reason for cutting the night short, which is fine by me. “After everything that happened with Matt, I’m worried about leaving you alone. You don’t seem to be yourself.”

  I appreciate my brother’s concern, but I hate that he’s bringing up my breakup with Matt around Myles.

  Myles eyes me curiously. It irritates me. He doesn’t get to walk out of my life for seven years and then walk right back in like he deserves to be a part of it.

  “I’m okay. I’ve just been blowing off steam. I was with Matt a long time, and it’s okay for me to have a little fun. Anyway, I’ve got so much work the next few weeks, you don’t have to worry,” I reassure him.

  “Okay, then. Let’s head out,” Oli says as his driver pulls up to the curb. He turns to Sloane. “You coming, Shorty?”

  Sloane gives him the finger, and we all pile into the SUV.

  We drop her off first. My brother gets out of the car to walk her to the door. As much as he gets around, I’m happy to see that he’s still a gentleman. When we get to our apartment, I follow Oli up, and Myles mutters something along the lines of, “Have a good night.”

  “’Night,” Oli says before sauntering off to his room.

  “Good night,” I say quietly. I’m still reeling from that kiss.

  Back in my bedroom, I can’t settle down. The room is dark except for some moonlight peeking in through the blinds. Staring at the ceiling, I think about where I see my life going from here.

  Trying to relax, I close my eyes. When I do, the kiss from tonight replays in my mind. Myles’s warm lips on mine ignited a fire inside me. As my frustration builds, I slowly slip my hand into my sleep shorts to make things right. I’m already wet remembering how my hands ran over Myles’s thick shoulders as his tongue tangled with mine. A creak outside my door startles me. My heart gallops a few beats, thinking there may be an intruder in the house. Oli is in the next room, and he’s a massive, strong hockey player; no one would want to mess with him.

  Another creak forces me to sit up in bed. Another forces me out of bed as I tiptoe and hide behind my door. As the doorknob turns, I make a plan to poke the intruder in the eyes and knee him in the balls. Then the door slowly opens. I get ready to use the shit out of my vocal cords. I jump out from behind the door and lunge at the large figure, poking him in the eye. He falls forward, cursing under his breath. I’m about to go in for the kick to the balls when I see Myles is the intruder, a six-foot-two mass of lean muscles looking up to me with only one eye open.

  “Shit, Myles.” I try to calm my racing heart. “What the hell! I’m a grown woman. You can’t just break into my brother’s apartment and invade my privacy…”

  “Fuck, Tink. I think I’m blind in one eye,” he hisses, holding his right hand over his right eye.

  “I thought you were a robber, asshole,” I mutter.

  He straightens himself out, still holding his eye. “It stings.”

  “Seriously? I would think you deal with a lot more violence than that on the ice.” I reach up to move his hand, forgetting where my own were just moments ago.

  I hold my breath as he gives me a curious look.

  He grins like a Cheshire cat, revealing a dimple. It’s only a half dimple on his right cheek. It was that smile that had me swooning as a young girl.

  His gaze drops to my chest, and I remember I’m wearing a mostly see-through white tank top. My nipples are so hard they could cut glass. His throat bobs, and I like the idea of taunting him with something he can’t have.

  “Don’t you have a robe or something?” he asks, his tone a little husky and irritated.


  I want to laugh, but I keep a straight face. “Nah. I’m okay. It’s late, and I have a long day at work tomorrow. Just tell me why you broke in here in the middle of the night, so I can get back to sleep,” I say, pulling my hand away and taking a seat on the bed.

  He sits beside me. His chest is bare, and the single item of clothing he wears is once again a pair of gray Under Armour briefs that outline his very ample package.

  I’m definitely not looking there.

  Wait. I am.

  “Flynn, I can’t stop thinking of you­­—of seeing you again,” he starts, and I know he’s holding back, but that’s okay because I don’t want him to open up to me. “It’s been seven years, but tonight when we kissed it felt like no time passed. We’ve both been through a lot. I’m hoping we can move forward. But I shouldn’t have kissed you. We need to keep things platonic. I have nothing to offer you.”

  My heart skips a beat. He did not just breathe those words. Cocky asshole. What makes him think I want more? I remain quiet because he looks like he has more to say.

  “I really want to be friends because I’ve missed having you in my life.” I want to pull my hair out as my cheeks flush. He doesn’t get to kiss me breathless and then regret it, especially since I never wanted that kiss.

  “I can’t be your friend, Myles. That bridge was burned a long time ago.” I rub my temple. It’s late, and I can’t believe he broke into my room to feed me this bullshit.

  Startled, Myles looks at me for a long breath. He stands, but he’s frozen in his spot.

  “We are living next door to each other. Your brother is an important part of our lives. Just think about being friends,” he repeats.

  I blow out a frustrated breath, feeling overwhelmed.

  He gives me a somber look. “I’ve got regrets.”

  “Don’t we all. I haven’t seen you in seven years. You can’t expect us to pick up where we left off.”

  His brows pull together giving me an assessing look, and I don’t like that I can’t read him.

  “Go away. I need my sleep.” I crawl under my blankets and lift the cover up to my face.

  “We were best friends once,” he says. He’s chosen his words carefully, a last-ditch effort to get us back to that place.

  “Leave,” I repeat firmly. My eyes swell with tears. It makes me sad to be around him. He forces me to remember a past I’ve successfully buried.

  “Flynn, please,” he continues, hopelessness heavy in his voice.

  “I’m just getting out of a relationship I had no idea was broken. I have no idea why you’d think I’d want anything more with you, especially right now. You’re Oli’s friend. I’m not going to come between you. But you need to leave me alone. Now.”

  He lets out a long, shaky breath and turns to leave. “Fine,” he mutters. I don’t know how he thinks I can brush our issues under the rug.

  Besides, that kiss tonight proves that we can’t be only friends. Myles and I are a ticking bomb waiting to explode. I just need to be strong enough to stay away from him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Flynn

  After a long day at work, it feels good to slip into yoga pants and my Columbia sweatshirt. I make my way to the kitchen, hoping to snag one of Oli’s meals. I open the fridge and pull one of the black, pre-packed containers off the shelf.

  “Hey.” My brother’s voice startles me. I expected him to be at the arena for his game tonight. He tilts his chin at the container. “Antonella’s chicken parmesan is the best. Go for it.”

  “Thanks. I skipped lunch today. Plowed through my workload so I could just relax tonight.” I take the container and pop it in the microwave then lean on the counter while it warms up.

  “So, I guess you’re not up for a game tonight?” Oli gives me one of his twisted smiles.

  “I love watching you play, but I have to go to Walgreens. I’m out of a bunch of stuff I need. And then I just want to relax.”

  He gives me a wry smile. “Real exciting, Flynn. You need to remember you’re still young.”

  “What can I say? I’m not a famous hockey player with a glam life.” I wink at him. He knows I’m messing with him.

  “I like living it up.” He raises his brows playfully. I smile warmly at my brother, who is a perpetual party animal.

  He walks a couple of steps toward me and places a kiss on my forehead. “I don’t know if I’ve said this enough, Flynny, but I’m real proud of you.”

  My lips tug at the corners. “Thanks. The feeling is mutual. You were amazing last night. Dad would have been proud,” I say, surprising myself. Over the years, Oli and I have never spoken much about our dead parents. Maybe it’s living with him again after being apart for so long, but I feel like we need to keep their memory alive, even if we’ve skated around it in the past.

  “Yeah.” He gives me a sad smile. “I’m going to go nap before the game tonight.”

  I shovel the chicken parmesan into my mouth because I’m a hungry beast and it tastes delicious. When I’m done, I grab my purse, keys, and jacket and head out of the apartment. Just as I’m locking Oli’s front door, I hear another door open. Myles—we are even closer now than we were when we were kids, because now there’s no lawn to cross, just a few feet of hallway.

  “Hey.” His deep voice hits me. My breath hitches at the sight of him in a tank top that shows off his muscular arms and a pair of gym shorts that sit low on his waist. I swallow hard then curse inside my head because how is it possible that he’s leaving his apartment at the same moment as me?

  “Hey,” I answer, my voice one octave too high.

  “Where you headed?” he asks.

  “To the drugstore. Need to stock up on my supplies.” I don’t exactly want to mention that most of my things are still back at the apartment I shared with my cheating ex.

  “I was just going to check my mail. I can give you a ride. The rain is nasty.” He’s always been kind, but after kissing him last night, I think it’s a bad idea to be alone in a car with him.

  “Thanks for the offer, but I will just grab an Uber,” I answer curtly.

  He blows out a harsh breath. “Why do you always have to be so stubborn? I’m trying to be nice here. Cut me some slack.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. My mouth opens so I can speak, but I don’t have a good rebuttal. Damn him. “I really think it’s better I go on my own.”

  “You’re being ridiculous,” he says.

  “Excuse me?” I ask, a little flabbergasted.

  “You heard me. I’m offering you a ride. I’m trying to be your friend,” he answers, and irritation drips from his tone.

  “A friend, huh?” I huff. “I haven’t seen you in seven years. I wouldn’t exactly say we’re friends.” The words escape me before I can lock them down. I’m tired and worn out. I need some peace and quiet. Myles isn’t helping that.

  He takes a step back. “Ouch. That was harsh. Maybe even deserved, but I can throw that argument right back at you.”

  My frustration deflates.

  “You know what? Why the hell not. If it means so much to you, then give me a ride.” I roll my eyes at him. He lifts a hand to his mouth to cover his laugh.

  He turns back to his apartment door and says, “Let me just grab my keys and throw on some warmer clothes. Do you want to come in?” He waits for me to answer.

  I wrap my hands around my torso and shake my head.

  “Suit yourself.” He walks back into his apartment but leaves the front door open. Of course, I peek. It’s a little less modern than my brother’s apartment, yet very masculine and refined. Myles comes back out to the front door, so I pull my gaze away, not wanting him to know I was checking his place out.

  “Ready,” he says.

  I follow him out to his car through an underground parking lot. He drives a black Hummer, and it’s rugged and manly just like him. Rain pelts the windows as we head out.

  “Wow. The rain is intense,” I say, looking out the window.

/>   “Told you.” He blasts the heat.

  The scent of his car reminds me of home, of him.

  I let out a heavy breath. The best memories of my childhood are wrapped up in Myles. Problem is, some of the worst ones are wrapped in him, too. The sadness briefly melts away as he glances at me, those stormy blue eyes holding an intensity that pulls at something deep inside.

  “Tell me something about yourself,” he says, breaking the silence.

  “What do you want to know?” I almost force a smile, but it still feels heavy. He’s nice enough to drive me in this shitty weather, so it’s only fair I call a small truce.

  He shrugs. “Anything.”

  “I’m an attorney. I work at Weldrick and Ross,” I say.

  “I know all that. I’ve kept tabs on you through your brother all these years. You’ve done good. I meant the small details. Do you still like to eat Ben and Jerry’s Half Baked?” he asks.

  I giggle. “Still my favorite.” It would be a good night to pick up a gallon. I deserve to drown myself in the deliciously rich ice cream after the week I’ve had.

  “How about you? Do you still like to have a donut with your cheat meals?”

  He laughs and throws his head back. “I do. Only there’s no Tim Horton’s here. I’ve been settling for Krispy Kreme.” He says. Tim Horton’s is a Canadian fast food chain that sells the best coffee and donuts. It’s one of the things I miss since leaving Canada.

  He gives me another side-glance, and my belly flips. Chatting with him like this feels like old times. The rain comes down hard, and we are stuck in a traffic jam. “I hope you won’t be late for the game tonight.”

  “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve got some time.” Someone cuts him off, and he slams the brakes. My seat belt tightens, and his tires skid a little on the road. I press my hand to his dashboard as if it will help the car to stop. “Still a backseat driver, too, I see.” His glove compartment falls open, and a bunch of papers come pouring out.

  “Shoot. Sorry. I must have hit the button by accident.” I begin to gather the messy papers, when a picture slides out of the pile. My eyes narrow on it because I’m sure it looks familiar. I take it and bring it closer. I must be about sixteen years old in this picture. Myles has his arm wrapped around my shoulder. My friends Ana and Emerson from back home are standing with us. I’m wearing a blue bikini. Myles was on break from the OHL—the provincial hockey league he played for before getting drafted. It was summer vacation, and he had a pool party in his backyard. My gaze turns to Myles. His jaw is tense, and his hands grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles whiten.