Big Stick

by R. C. Stephens

  “Glad to see you are still juvenile.” I smirk as I throw things into my suitcase. There is no time to pack neatly. I need out of here.

  “Glad to see I can still make you smile,” he retorts, and he’s right. I couldn’t stop the smile if I wanted to because he amuses me.

  “Smart-ass.”

  “I’ll take anything that you’ll say about my ass,” he answers, and I throw the white ball I have in my hand at him. It hits him in the face. He takes it and opens it up, and that’s when I realize I’ve thrown a pair of white lace panties at him. He looks at it as if it requires evaluation.

  “I see that you’ve upgraded from the cotton panties. Fuck, Flynn, these are hot,” he hisses, and I can see the heat growing in his eyes.

  “Stop that,” I whine.

  “You threw them at me,” he grumbles. “I’m just admiring them and picturing what they look like on you.” He smiles devilishly.

  “You are so frustrating. I thought you said there would be no flirting or coming on to me.”

  “I didn’t say no flirting, and for the record, this time it was your fault.” He throws my panties back at me, and I pitch them into the suitcase, barely touching them, as if they were doused in gasoline.

  “Would you cut it out? I just want to grab my things and get as far away from here as possible,” I say, a little too irate.

  He frowns. “Sure. Sorry. Got carried away.” He gets to work helping me pack. Since my things were left folded on the bed, we finish quickly.

  Myles lifts my hockey bag. “Is this what I think it is?” he asks.

  “Yeah, I don’t think the gear fits, though. Well, I’m pretty sure the skates should still be fine.” I may be a little sentimental over my hockey gear, but I grew up with not one but two NHL hockey players. Hockey was our life.

  He nods. The solemn look on his face doesn’t fly past me. When everything is packed up, I roll one of the suitcases out of the room and Myles takes the other, along with the hockey bag on his shoulder. Matt and Maddy are still rooted in the same place in the front entrance where we left them.

  “Um… Sorry, what was your name?” Myles asks Matt as the boyfriend-stealer watches Myles all gooey-eyed.

  “M-Matt,” he stammers.

  “Right. Matt, gotta thank you for being a douchebag. I’ve been waiting for Flynn to be free for quite some time.” Myles lets go of his suitcase to drape his arm over my shoulder. “Had you not screwed around, I would have never got her back in my life.” I want to say that Myles is putting on a good show, but his words are so sincere. My insides turn to mush.

  Holy shit!

  Maddy lets out a long sigh.

  “You are one lucky girl,” she says, looking at me then Myles dreamily. Matt’s jaw drops, and he narrows his eyes to slits. It’s priceless.

  “Okay, well…have a good life.” Myles waves and smiles again. He guides me so that I am out the door first then swats me on the ass again. I jump and yelp. I want to kill him and kiss him in one breath.

  “Yeah, okay, bye,” Maddy says, walking up to the door and closing it.

  We head back to his SUV, and my grin is wide. Myles is laughing, too.

  The drive back to our apartment building is quiet. Our adrenaline rush clearly has crashed, and I’m exhausted. Myles looks pretty wiped out, too. Once he parks, he cuts the engine and turns to me. “I meant what I said back there. I’m happy you’re back in my life.” His words fuel my confusion. I always thought I couldn’t bear to see him again because I would feel sad. Now that I’ve spent a little time with him, I see that isn’t the case. If only there weren’t larger issues standing in our way, things I can’t seem to look past, even now.

  “Tonight was fun. I just…” I am at a loss for words.

  “I don’t want to push,” he responds, and I appreciate the space he’s giving me.

  “Thank you.” I smile and it’s sincere.

  “Baby steps,” he says.

  “Yeah, okay.” I sigh.

  “I know we have a lot of crap to work out, but this…spending time together. It feels right. Always has.”

  I can’t deny that.

  “Would you at least agree to hang out with me when I get back to town?” The look in his eyes is so hopeful, I don’t have it in me to reject him. My broken Peter Pan.

  I nod. “Yeah, okay.”

  He exhales. “Good.”

  I let out a heavy breath. “I’m tired. Can you please help me get my things upstairs?”

  “Sure, Tink. Let’s get you to bed.” He smiles softly and leaves the car. His blue eyes glisten, I don’t understand him. If he’s happy to spend time with me, why didn’t he try sooner? I didn’t want to see him, I remind myself. Both he and Oli knew that. Despite everything, though, a part of me hoped he would try to see me anyway. It’s completely irrational, but nothing about our situation has been normal.

  He takes the luggage to my room and places a kiss on top of my head like old times.

  “You have a good night.” He walks away.

  I want to scream out to him and ask how I am supposed to have a good night when I’m so confused about the past and my present, but Myles is long gone.

  I dream of a hockey player, a kind and giving man that I once thought the world of until my life came crashing down on me.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Flynn

  The next morning, I can’t get to Starbucks fast enough. I have my very large sunglasses on to hide the bags under my eyes, since I haven’t slept well all week. I pull open the door and head in to the pickup counter, having sent my order ahead by phone.

  “What’s going on, babe?” Sloane comes up behind me, coffee in hand. Her apartment is close to Weldrick and Ross, so it’s convenient we meet here. I take a soothing sip of my venti double Caramel Macchiato and purse my lips, tilting my head to the side.

  “That bad, huh?” she asks. She takes a sip from her own large cup. She walks to a table next to the window. I take a seat beside her. “Man, I bet Nils is good in bed,” she says, and her eyes turn round. I hadn’t had a chance to talk with her since we went out with the guys that night after we went to the game.

  I take out the blueberry muffin I bought and place it on the brown paper bag between us to share. “Is that what you want? A mindless fuck for your first time?”

  She snickers. “Nah.” Then she goes on with a blush, “Kudos on having a hot and amazing brother.”

  Her words take a moment to register. Is she telling me she has a crush on Oli?

  “Sloane, I …”

  She waves a hand at me. “You don’t need to say anything. I get that he’s a super famous hockey player and he has chicks throwing themselves at him. He’s also your brother, and I wouldn’t want anything to come between me and you,” she says.

  I let out the breath I wasn’t aware I was holding.

  “Besides, I’m thinking I should focus on the construction guy I met last night.” She pauses what she’s doing and acts as if she’s melted on the table. “He was so sweet. You know how when I get nervous I tend to babble a lot? Well, we got to talking, and he’s a really nice guy. Comes from a small town, too. He gave me his number and said he’ll leave things up to me.”

  “Maybe he will be the right one for your vagina.” I laugh. It’s an inside joke we have, because her mother refers to Sloane’s vagina as if it’s a separate entity.

  She narrows her eyes at me. “Mean.”

  I laugh some more. “That’s why you love me.”

  “You got that right, schnookums,” she agrees. I look at my watch. It’s almost eight.

  “Don’t tell me you have to go. You have more to share, I know it. I saw your swollen lips when you came to get me away from Nils the other night. Who was the lucky bastard?” she asks.

  I tilt my head to the side and look at her expectantly.

  Her eyes widen. “The forbidden one,” she says with a voice out of The Twilight Zone.

  I laugh. “He kissed me. Then last n
ight he drove me to Walgreens and we had a pretty intense conversation.” I continue to tell her everything about what happened at Matt’s and the way the evening ended with Myles wanting to spend time together.

  “My head is spinning. I want to hate him. I’m angry and sad. Attracted to him and scared of what that means. I’m losing it.”

  She frowns. “I can’t help you if you don’t confide in me. I know there are parts of your past you never share, but locking it down isn’t good, either.”

  “I know. I’m working on it. Some things are just so hard to talk about. The mere thought gives me palpitations.”

  Sloane frowns. “I’m not going to push you to talk.”

  “I appreciate that.” I know how messed up it looks that I can’t confide in my best friend. I’m grateful for her understanding. “Life felt a whole lot easier when Matt and I were together.” I admit, and she lets out a loud snort.

  “Your relationship with Matt was easy because he was like a fuck buddy. Now you have a sexy and brooding hockey player hot on your trail…”

  I cut her off. “He was a teen crush, my best friend, we were there for each other until we weren’t. Don’t make Myles and me into something we aren’t.” I let out a breath, and my heart aches. Living in close proximity to him is messing with my head.

  “All I’m saying is that you need closure in order to move forward. He seems like a good guy. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Hockey whore or not, he cares about you,” she says, and her words resonate as I think of last night. Myles cares. That much I can admit. The photo I found in his glove compartment is a testament to that.

  Sloane goes on. “You may need a session with the love doctor. You know, as much as we joke about my mom’s new career, ten percent of the time she offers really good advice.” She rolls her eyes playfully and bats her lashes. “Maybe there’s something wrong with your vagina because, honestly, no woman in her right mind would reject that man,” she insists.

  I laugh. “Mama sex-guru is rubbing off on you.” I smile. “And some things just aren’t meant to be.” I look at my watch again.

  Shit!

  “Gotta go. We’ll talk later.” I take my drink and head out the doors. In the distance I hear her say, “This ain’t over, biatch.”

  …

  Smoothing out my hair, I give myself the once-over before heading down the hall to Tara Weldrick’s office. Her father is senior partner and founder of this firm, and she’s my boss. She’s sharp and witty and has a photographic memory, which makes her a serious asset in the courtroom. I push my shoulders back as I go in.

  “Good morning, Tara,” I say.

  She lifts a finger, motioning for me to wait a minute. She’s scanning a document and doesn’t even pause as she tilts her chin for me to sit down. I wait quietly with my back straight and my hands in my lap, watching her. About thirty seconds later, she lifts her head to look at me.

  “Flynn, perfect timing. This environmental case is going to be the end of me. I need you to look through all the precedents of companies polluting in residential areas. SoCorp is arguing that they’ve maintained legal levels of aluminum for the past five years. I may need you to visit the water facility feeding into the Kingston Township and gauge if things seem kosher. Also, we still need more info on the Smolder case. I’m not sure the family can sue Mr. Smolder,” Tara moves on.

  I furrow my brows because she never mentioned the Smolder case to me. “I’m sorry you haven’t given me the prep work on that one yet,” I respond confidently. “But I would be happy to get on it right away if you have the file.”

  Her attention returns to a list she has on the side of her desk, scrolling down it with a finger. “Sorry, my bad, I must have given it to Lucy. It wasn’t a big one, and I don’t think the family has a right to retribution from Mr. Smolder. Never mind. I’d rather have you working the big cases. Flynn, I think you have a very promising future.”

  I smile widely. “Thank you, Tara. That means a lot.” Internally, I’m in full-out dance mode, swaying my hips.

  She smiles back. “Let me know what you find on SoCorp. I’ll need it by noon.” Her attention moves back to the computer screen. “That will be all for now.”

  I leave the office. Shit. That’s a ton of information to find in only—I glance at my watch—three hours. I take an Uber to the water facility in the outskirts of Chicago. I walk into the township office and catch a man watching football. After gauging that he’s the man in charge, I use my limited knowledge of football to strike up some friendly conversation before I ask for information I know he isn’t supposed to share. It works, and he instantly becomes so friendly that he reveals the recent aluminum levels in the water were manually changed in the computer.

  I get all the facts I need and head back to the office close to noon. I update Tara on my findings and then sink back into my chair at my desk where I engage in a mad search for similar precedents.

  Buried deep in my work, I’m happy I don’t have a chance to think of Matt. Although, I wonder if his and Maddy’s affair has turned into office gossip. I wouldn’t be surprised.

  I find a case similar to SoCorp’s in Kansas, and as I’m scanning through the judge’s ruling, my phone rings and Sloane’s name lights up the screen. I forgot we said we’d meet up for dinner.

  “Hey,” I answer. My voice sounds sleepy after a long day.

  “Uh-oh. Let me guess. You want a rain check?”

  I squint my eyes—not that she can see, but I feel bad for canceling. “I just want a quiet night in, no boys, no overthinking my life, just a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and some Netflix binging.”

  “That sounds perfect except the no-boys part.” I chuckle, and she sighs. “I don’t want to be the last virgin in Chicago.”

  “You won’t, babe. You just have to get out more. Meet the right kind of guys.”

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  I feel like the last person who should be giving relationship advice. She sounds a little depressed, which makes me feel even worse for canceling. I’m just so wiped out.

  “We’ll go out soon.”

  “Have a good night.”

  “You, too.”

  I pack my briefcase and head back to Oli’s apartment, truly relieved to have some quiet time. I slip into comfy pajamas and plop myself in front of the television. I wish I could say that my mind doesn’t wander to Myles. It does. He’s sending me mixed signals. He wants to be friends, but the way he looks at me isn’t friendly. And he still hasn’t explained why he fell out of my life for seven years.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Myles

  My head has been messed up ever since Flynn came barreling back into my life. Now I feel like I’m walking a tightrope. I have a lot of explaining to do where she is concerned. She seems to be patient with me, but for how long? While on the road, I’d asked Oli for her cell number and texted her about spending the day with me today.

  She still hasn’t answered my message.

  A text message comes in.

  Flynn: When did you want to meet?

  I exhale, relieved she wants to see me. If anything, we need to fix our friendship. She stood by me through all kinds of shit growing up. She made me feel like a million bucks when my parents made me feel not worth their while. I more than owe her. It’s because of her encouragement I am where I am.

  Me: An hour?

  I don’t know why, but I feel a crazy rush every time we speak.

  Flynn: See you then.

  An hour later, I’m clean shaven and ready to take her out for a day on the town. Oli told me she’s all about work and hasn’t seen any of the sights in Chicago. Given the cool weather, we can’t really be outdoors, so I have something special planned.

  I knock on Oli’s door, even though I usually just walk in.

  She opens the door, and I look around for Oli. I do anything but look her in the eye, because if I do, I won’t be able to hide this rush I’m feeling again. She’s wearing an ivory sweater th
at dips in a V in the front. Her hair falls in loose curls onto her shoulders, her jeans are tight and show off her lean long legs, but it isn’t those things that cause the heated reaction in my body. It’s the warmth in her blue eyes when she looks at me in that comfortable way. Just like she did when we were younger.

  “Hey.” I smile and lean forward to give her a peck on the cheek. I’ve never done that before. This isn’t a date. I don’t know what protocol to follow here.

  “Hi.” She smiles.

  “You ready?” I take a step into the apartment, grateful that Oli is probably asleep. If he saw how nervous I was, I’d never hear the end of it. Even worse, he would see how much I cared.

  I wait while she puts on a coat and boots and grabs her purse. We leave the apartment and head down the elevator, and both of us are eerily quiet. It isn’t until we are driving down the street that I feel the need to make conversation. It saddens me that we don’t have the easy banter anymore.

  “How are things going with work?” I ask, hating I’m relying on something so superficial.

  “Good. Busy.” She looks out the window before turning back to me. “You?” she asks.

  “Usual. Traveling, playing hockey. I’m glad to have a day off. We are leaving town early tomorrow morning for a week,” I say as I look to the road.

  She nods. The silence makes me crazy. I want to say I’m sorry. I fucked up. I should have done whatever it took to keep you in my life. I was a bad friend. Only there’s more to the story. Things weren’t simple seven years ago, and they are more complicated today.

  I pull into the parking lot at the Willis Tower and park my SUV. She turns to look at me. “We’re going up there?” Her voice cracks.

  “I figured it’s the best place to take in the whole city. Chicago is fun in the warm seasons. Less to do in the cold,” I explain. We exit the car. She looks hesitant. “Are you still afraid of heights?” My eyes widen. “Shit. I didn’t… I mean, I thought you’d be over that,” I murmur, wanting to kick myself for bringing her here.

  “Do you not remember what happened when my dad took us all to the CN tower?” she asks.