Her Secret

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  “You’ll find that lots of homes here in Munfordville and Horse Cave make good use of all the limestone that lays underground. It’s certainly plentiful around here.”

  “I love how different this house is from most of the other buildings in Berlin. It’s so warm and welcoming, yet cozy.”

  Looking down at her, he smiled. “I think you’re going to find that Karen and John are just as warm and welcoming as their home.”

  The front door opened right as they approached it. Two women about her age filled the doorway.

  “We wondered when you were going to get here,” a woman with a face full of freckles said.

  “Have you been waiting to start because of us?” Isaac asked.

  “Of course not. You know Paul and Aaron haven’t arrived yet.”

  “I didn’t think they had. I didn’t see their horse.” Turning to Hannah, Isaac grinned. “Paul and Aaron are always late. They can’t seem to help it.”

  “We don’t fault them too much, though,” a man who walked up behind the two women said. “They always bring food with them. Usually, something they prepared in their smoker.”

  Hannah chuckled. “I’ve found those are the best kinds of guests to have over.”

  When the group at the door smiled at her, she felt Isaac’s approval slip over her like a warm shawl. “Hannah, this is Maggie, John, and Christina. Everyone, this is my new neighbor, Hannah Hilty.”

  The group stepped back so Isaac and Hannah could enter. Then they gathered around them like a litter of eager puppies. “You’re from Ohio, jah?” Maggie asked.

  “Jah. Berlin,” Hannah replied.

  “You’ll have much in common with Darryl and Mercy, then. They are originally from that area. From Charm, I think.”

  “I’ll be eager to meet them.”

  “Now, tell us about you,” Maggie said as they walked into a large great room that was filled with seven or eight other people. “Do you work?”

  “Nee. Not right now. I did back in Berlin. I worked as a server at a restaurant. Now I am helping my brother and sister with their schoolwork.”

  “I help out with my family, too.”

  “Maggie will do that . . . until she and Paul get married,” Christina said in a high, singsong voice.

  Hannah clasped her hands together. “Oh, you’re engaged! Congratulations!”

  “We’re marrying in four months,” Maggie said, her voice giddy. “I can hardly believe it. I’m excited, but there are so many details to take care of first. I don’t know if I’ll get them all done.”

  “It’s going to be beautiful,” Christina said.

  Maggie looked at Christina fondly. “She has to say that, I think. She’s my cousin and matron of honor.”

  The girls’ giddiness instantly relaxed Hannah. Weddings and wedding plans were something all Amish girls had in common. “What are your colors?”

  Isaac pressed a hand on her arm. “I’m going to go talk with the men while you ladies discuss wedding things.”

  “Okay. Danke, Isaac,” she said shyly, realizing he’d been hovering by her side until he was sure that she was comfortable.

  When he and Joe left, Christina eyed her a little more closely. “Are you and Isaac courting?”

  “Oh, nee. He is just being kind. I, well, I was a little nervous about joining in today.”

  Christina nodded. “I would feel the same way. It’s hard being new. We only moved here two years ago. We came from southern Kentucky, though. Maybe we had an easier time adjusting because we didn’t move as far.” Smiling at Maggie, she said, “Plus, we were moving near family.”

  “Maybe so.”

  The conversation continued. Christina and Maggie took her around and introduced her to the other people who were there.

  Some of them she’d met before at church, others were part of a different church district.

  Hannah kept waiting for someone to mention how reclusive she’d been, but no one said anything unkind. She wondered if they simply hadn’t noticed that she hadn’t been around or were too polite to mention it.

  Instead, they swept her up in conversation that was much like the ones she used to share with Kirsten and her other friends back in Berlin. They talked of weddings and siblings, of work and food and diets, and the men there.

  After another ten minutes passed, the door opened again and the elusive Aaron and Paul entered, much to Maggie’s obvious delight. Then she and Christina led everyone into the dining room, where a whole variety of dishes were set out for them to enjoy.

  Tiny sandwiches filled with roast beef shared platters with ham and Swiss cheese. There were potato, fruit, and noodle salads. Cookies and meatballs, too. When Hannah took a plate and joined in the line, Isaac returned to her side.

  “Hi, again,” she teased.

  “I glanced over at you a couple of times,” he said with a smile. “Each time, you were in conversation with someone. Since it looked like you are doing all right, I decided to give you a little space.”

  She was touched that he’d been so concerned about how she was doing. It was so sweet, especially given the rocky way their previous conversations had been.

  “Everyone is nice. I’m glad I came,” she said quietly. “Thank you for bringing me.”

  “No need to thank me. I’m just glad you said yes,” he said as they moved forward. “Everyone seems to like you, Hannah. I think you’re going to make some friends here.”

  “I think so, too.” She smiled before spearing a couple of meatballs and putting them on her plate.

  When everyone had their plates filled, Maggie directed them all back into the great room. After everyone got settled, Maggie bowed her head in silent prayer. The others followed suit.

  As she closed her eyes, Hannah gave thanks for the food and the hands that prepared it. Then added her own private prayer of gratitude for the Lord guiding her to be a part of the group. She’d needed this. With some surprise, she realized that she’d been here almost an hour and had never once felt scared or had dwelled on Trent or the past.

  She was making progress, and she was certainly grateful for that.

  “The first thing we need to do,” Maggie’s fiancé, Paul, announced, “is to set a date and a goal for the auction. Anyone have a date in mind?”

  “I talked to Darryl before I came over,” a man from the other side of the room said. “Their boppli is struggling and was in and out of the hospital just last week. I think they’re going to need any help we can give them as soon as possible.”

  “Let’s get busy, then,” Aaron said.

  Maggie scanned all the faces of the people who had gathered. “Is putting all this together in two weeks crazy?”

  “Ah, yes,” Joe said. “We need to make flyers, order everything, and clear our schedules.”

  Maggie nodded. “You have a point. What about three weeks, then? I know it will be hard, but Eli has a point. The Gingerich family needs our help now.”

  Hannah couldn’t believe it, but she realized she was actually holding her breath to hear what everyone was going to say. In just an hour’s time, she’d become emotionally invested in Mercy and Darryl’s struggles.

  Though she was sorry for their baby, she was grateful to have the opportunity to push aside her own troubles and concentrate on someone else.

  “I think three weeks is possible,” Isaac called out from his seat right next to Hannah. “Remember, everyone, it’s many hands that make projects like this successful. That means no one has to bear the brunt of this project alone.”

  Paul nodded, a smile playing on his lips. “You’re right, Isaac.” Looking at the calendar, he called out a date. “This is when we’ll be holding the sale, come rain or come shine.”

  Joe stood up. “I have a second cousin who teaches at the high school. I’ll talk to her to make sure we can hold it in the high school parking lot.”

  “Danke, Joe,” Maggie said. Turning to the rest of the group, she said, “I made a chart with all the types of
jobs I could think of. Before everyone leaves, please sign up on the poster board.”

  “Danke, Maggie. And thank you, everyone, for jumping in with both feet. This sandwich sale is going to be wonderful. Wonderful-gut!”

  The room erupted in applause while several people cheered and added their thanks.

  When it died down, Isaac turned Hannah’s way with a grin. “This is mighty exciting. Do you want to work on something together?”

  Hannah nodded. “Since you are pretty much the only person I know well, I am going to say yes. You’re stuck with me.”

  “I’m okay with that. I’m thinking that there are worse things to be stuck with.”

  Hannah smiled, feeling more and more pleased about how things were going between them.

  Thirty minutes later, she stood by his side as they stared at Maggie’s chart.

  “I don’t want to do anything with advertising or selling,” she shyly admitted. “Is that okay with you?”

  Isaac didn’t seem surprised. “That’s fine. How about we work the day before the sandwich making? That involves going to different houses, picking up ingredients, and bringing everything to the place where the production line will be.”

  “Jah. I can do that.”

  “Do you like to bake?” Maggie asked. “We can always use help making cookies and brownies.”

  Hannah noticed that Maggie had offered choices. Women could sign up to make several dozen cookies by themselves or join in the group effort to assemble the sandwiches together. Taking a leap, Hannah pointed to the group activity. “I’ll work here, too.”

  “And I’ll help sell, too,” Isaac said.

  Maggie clapped her hands together. “It’s good of you to volunteer for that position. If you didn’t, I would have put you there myself.” Winking at Hannah, she explained, “Isaac has kind of a big mouth, you see.”

  “I’m starting to notice that.” Feeling lighter than she had in weeks, Hannah added, “It’s a good thing, though. Especially when it comes to selling.”

  “I aim to sell at least a hundred sandwiches on my own. That will show my parents that my penchant for talking is good for something,” Isaac quipped.

  Hannah was still excited about the afternoon’s meeting when they got back in his buggy another hour later.

  “This was fun,” she said when they stopped at the foot of her driveway. “I’m so glad you asked me to go.”

  “I’m glad you did. Like I said earlier, you made a big impression on everyone. People like you, Hannah.”

  “I liked your friends, too.”

  “The next gathering is in three days. Want to go together again?”

  “I do.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then, if not before.” He tipped his hat slightly in her direction before motioning his horse forward.

  Hoping to make the euphoric feeling last a little longer, she watched Isaac’s buggy disappear around the bend.

  Then, with her mind filled with plans and stories to share with her mother, she headed up the driveway toward the house.

  Still thinking about the meeting, she almost didn’t notice the potted plants that had appeared out of nowhere just a few days before.

  Someone had neatly snipped all the heads of the daisies off. Discarded blooms lay scattered all around the ground. Some of the flowers’ petals were already wilting and shriveling up.

  Just like that, the momentary burst of hope that had been inside of her fizzled into nothing.

  CHAPTER 9

  Wednesday, July 13

  Hannah didn’t say a word about the desecrated daisies to her family. She was afraid they would act as if she was making much of nothing.

  But she was rattled. The appearance of both the daisies and their later ruin were signs that her troubles with Trent weren’t over. Now a dull sense of foreboding filled her. She was going to have to deal with him again. She hoped she would be strong enough.

  And if the daisies weren’t a sign that Trent was stalking her again? What if she was exaggerating everything? What if she was imagining trouble where there was none? Well, that was just as disturbing.

  Hannah felt more alone than ever before. Her parents had other, more pressing concerns to focus on than her fears. And her siblings already resented her. Hannah didn’t want to give Ben and Jenny even more reasons to not want to be around her.

  She hoped she wasn’t slowly losing her mind.

  But she worried that she was.

  Feeling as if her head was about to burst, Hannah trudged down the hall to her room. Glad that Jenny wasn’t there so she’d have a few minutes to herself, she sat down on her bed and wrote a long letter to Kirsten. She was so thankful that they remained so close.

  Though they hadn’t been corresponding with great regularity, they were still writing to each other and sharing much of what they were experiencing day to day.

  Kirsten had written Hannah several letters talking about her feelings for Henry, her neighbor. By turns she would either be longing for Henry to pay more attention to her, or complaining about his attention while being unsure if she was ready to commit to him.

  Hannah had responded to Kirsten’s concerns again and again. Never once did she convey that she was out of patience with Kirstin’s rocky love life or thought Kirsten should make up her mind.

  Because of that, Hannah had no worries about being completely honest with her best friend.

  She wrote and wrote. Told about the sudden, real reason that her parents had wanted to move. Told about how Ben and Jenny seemed determined to resent her. She confided to Kirsten about Isaac and how their rocky start had blossomed into a new friendship.

  Haltingly, Hannah even confided that she was sure that Isaac was becoming someone she was learning to trust. She also shared how grateful she was about this. Hannah had feared that she’d been pretty sure that she would never want to trust another man ever again.

  Finally, in closing, she told Kirsten about the appearance of the daisies.

  She wrote:

  Don’t you think them being here is odd?

  Every time I look at them, I feel sick to my stomach. I want to pick up those pots and throw them into the woods across the house. I would, too, if I thought no one in my house would notice.

  But everyone here only seems to notice all of my odd behaviors. If I started doing something like that, they would resent me even more.

  Please tell me about what I should do next. You are pretty much the only person I trust now, Kirsten.

  Feeling satisfied that she’d conveyed all of the events as completely as possible, Hannah quickly sealed the letter in an envelope and neatly wrote out Kirsten’s address, then left it for the postal worker.

  When she trotted down the driveway, she did her best to ignore the daisies littering the ground.

  She almost succeeded.

  Sunday, July 17

  On Sunday, after the preacher closed the service with one final prayer, Hannah was anxious to move around.

  She was still so rattled by those daisies, she couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. When she saw Maggie and Isaac and several other people who she’d met at the meetings, Hannah felt her anxiety creep up.

  What if she had misjudged how friendly everyone had been?

  Instead of taking a chance on ruining her new friendships, Hannah thought the right thing to do would be to go home and curl up with a good book.

  She told her parents that she was going to skip the luncheon and head back home early.

  Her mind was so woozy, she was sure if she talked to one of the new friends she’d made at the gathering, she would say the absolute wrong thing and mess up a good first impression.

  “You really want to walk home on your own?” Daed asked, looking worried. “Do you think that is wise?”

  “Our home is less than two miles away, and it’s only two right turns. Plus, it’s a sunny day out. I’ll be fine.”

  Her mother leaned closer. “What is going on? I thought you enjoyed yours
elf yesterday at the meeting.”

  “I did, Mamm.” Feeling trapped, she added, “Please, just let me go.”

  Though she still looked worried, her mother backed off. “Of course. We’ll see you later, then.”

  “Thanks.” After giving her another weak smile, she darted toward the driveway.

  “Hannah? Hannah, wait,” Isaac called out. When he reached her side, he looked at her curiously. “Where are ya going?”

  “I decided to go home early.”

  “Now? Are you walking by yourself?”

  “I am.” He sounded so incredulous, she was tempted to smile. Instead, she simply looked at him, hoping she looked much calmer than she felt.

  But Isaac still looked concerned. “It’s kind of a long walk. And I don’t know if it’s all that safe.”

  “I don’t think I’ll run into another person. I’ll be perfectly safe.” As safe as she could be with only her private thoughts, that is.

  Hannah could see that he was debating whether or not to offer to walk by her side. She decided to make his choice easier.

  “To be honest, I was hoping to have some time alone right now.”

  “Why do you need time alone? Is anything the matter?”

  If they were closer, she would have told him about the daisies. But they weren’t. “Everything is fine.” Because she was so stressed, her voice turned sharp. “There is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to take a walk by herself, you know.”

  His dark eyes clouded with hurt. “I didn’t say there was. Hey, is something wrong? You seem a little different than you did yesterday.”

  “Everything is fine, Isaac. I just think I should be able to go for a walk without having to explain myself.”

  “I’m not trying to make you do that.”

  She didn’t want to fight with him. “Look, you better go get in line before the food is all gone.”

  His expression turned blank. “Sure. Yeah. All right.”

  Though she privately wondered what she was doing, Hannah started out again. She stayed on the road but stayed close to the side, passing overgrown hedges and patches of hollyhocks dotted with bright yellow wildflowers. Their fragrance permeated the air, infusing it with a sharp, sweet tang. The scent was both familiar and foreign. It brought back memories of last summer, when she’d still been trying to decide if the mild anxiety she’d felt around Trent had any bearing on truth or if it had just been something she’d embellished in her mind.