The Chronicles of Barsetshire

by Anthony Trollope

  “Nonsense!” exclaimed the archdeacon, who was becoming angry in his suspense. “You can’t have any secret about Mr. Arabin.”

  “Only this—that he and Eleanor are engaged.”

  It was quite clear to see, by the archdeacon’s face, that he did not believe a word of it. “Mr. Arabin! It’s impossible!”

  “Eleanor, at any rate, has just now told me so.”

  “It’s impossible,” repeated the archdeacon.

  “Well, I can’t say I think it impossible. It certainly took me by surprise, but that does not make it impossible.”

  “She must be mistaken.”

  Mr. Harding assured him that there was no mistake; that he would find, on returning home, that Mr. Arabin had been at Plumstead with the express object of making the same declaration; that even Miss Thorne knew all about it; and that, in fact, the thing was as clearly settled as any such arrangement between a lady and a gentleman could well be.

  “Good heavens!” said the archdeacon, walking up and down Eleanor’s drawing-room. “Good heavens! Good heavens!”

  Now these exclamations certainly betokened faith. Mr. Harding properly gathered from it that, at last, Dr. Grantly did believe the fact. The first utterance clearly evinced a certain amount of distaste at the information he had received; the second simply indicated surprise; in the tone of the third Mr. Harding fancied that he could catch a certain gleam of satisfaction.

  The archdeacon had truly expressed the workings of his mind. He could not but be disgusted to find how utterly astray he had been in all his anticipations. Had he only been lucky enough to have suggested this marriage himself when he first brought Mr. Arabin into the country, his character for judgement and wisdom would have received an addition which would have classed him at any rate next to Solomon. And why had he not done so? Might he not have foreseen that Mr. Arabin would want a wife in his parsonage? He had foreseen that Eleanor would want a husband, but should he not also have perceived that Mr. Arabin was a man much more likely to attract her than Mr. Slope? The archdeacon found that he had been at fault and, of course, could not immediately get over his discomfiture.

  Then his surprise was intense. How sly this pair of young turtle-doves had been with him. How egregiously they had hoaxed him. He had preached to Eleanor against her fancied attachment to Mr. Slope at the very time that she was in love with his own protégé, Mr. Arabin, and had absolutely taken that same Mr. Arabin into his confidence with reference to his dread of Mr. Slope’s alliance. It was very natural that the archdeacon should feel surprise.

  But there was also great ground for satisfaction. Looking at the match by itself, it was the very thing to help the doctor out of his difficulties. In the first place, the assurance that he should never have Mr. Slope for his brother-in-law was in itself a great comfort. Then Mr. Arabin was, of all men, the one with whom it would best suit him to be so intimately connected. But the crowning comfort was the blow which this marriage would give to Mr. Slope. He had now certainly lost his wife; rumour was beginning to whisper that he might possibly lose his position in the palace; and if Mr. Harding would only be true, the great danger of all would be surmounted. In such case it might be expected that Mr. Slope would own himself vanquished, and take himself altogether away from Barchester. And so the archdeacon would again be able to breathe pure air.

  “Well, well,” said he. “Good heavens! Good heavens!” and the tone of the fifth exclamation made Mr. Harding fully aware that content was reigning in the archdeacon’s bosom.

  And then slowly, gradually, and craftily Mr. Harding propounded his own new scheme. Why should not Mr. Arabin be the new dean?

  Slowly, gradually, and thoughtfully Dr. Grantly fell into his father-in-law’s views. Much as he liked Mr. Arabin, sincere as was his admiration for that gentleman’s ecclesiastical abilities, he would not have sanctioned a measure which would rob his father-in-law of his fairly earned promotion, were it at all practicable to induce his father-in-law to accept the promotion which he had earned. But the archdeacon had, on a former occasion, received proof of the obstinacy with which Mr. Harding could adhere to his own views in opposition to the advice of all his friends. He knew tolerably well that nothing would induce the meek, mild man before him to take the high place offered to him, if he thought it wrong to do so. Knowing this, he also said to himself more than once: “Why should not Mr. Arabin be Dean of Barchester?” It was at last arranged between them that they would together start to London by the earliest train on the following morning, making a little detour to Oxford on their journey. Dr. Gwynne’s counsels, they imagined, might perhaps be of assistance to them.

  These matters settled, the archdeacon hurried off, that he might return to Plumstead and prepare for his journey. The day was extremely fine, and he came into the city in an open gig. As he was driving up the High Street he encountered Mr. Slope at a crossing. Had he not pulled up rather sharply, he would have run over him. The two had never spoken to each other since they had met on a memorable occasion in the bishop’s study. They did not speak now, but they looked each other full in the face, and Mr. Slope’s countenance was as impudent, as triumphant, as defiant as ever. Had Dr. Grantly not known to the contrary, he would have imagined that his enemy had won the deanship, the wife, and all the rich honours for which he had been striving. As it was, he had lost everything that he had in the world, and had just received his congé from the bishop.

  In leaving the town the archdeacon drove by the well-remembered entrance of Hiram’s Hospital. There, at the gate, was a large, untidy farmer’s wagon, laden with untidy-looking furniture; and there, inspecting the arrival, was good Mrs. Quiverful—not dressed in her Sunday best, not very clean in her apparel, not graceful as to her bonnet and shawl, or, indeed, with many feminine charms as to her whole appearance. She was busy at domestic work in her new house, and had just ventured out, expecting to see no one on the arrival of the family chattels. The archdeacon was down upon her before she knew where she was.

  Her acquaintance with Dr. Grantly or his family was very slight indeed. The archdeacon, as a matter of course, knew every clergyman in the archdeaconry—it may almost be said in the diocese—and had some acquaintance, more or less intimate, with their wives and families. With Mr. Quiverful he had been concerned on various matters of business, but of Mrs. Q. he had seen very little. Now, however, he was in too gracious a mood to pass her by unnoticed. The Quiverfuls, one and all, had looked for the bitterest hostility from Dr. Grantly; they knew his anxiety that Mr. Harding should return to his old home at the hospital, and they did not know that a new home had been offered to him at the deanery. Mrs. Quiverful was therefore not a little surprised, and not a little rejoiced also, at the tone in which she was addressed.

  “How do you do, Mrs. Quiverful, how do you do?” said he, stretching his left hand out of the gig as he spoke to her. “I am very glad to see you employed in so pleasant and useful a manner; very glad indeed.”

  Mrs. Quiverful thanked him, and shook hands with him, and looked into his face suspiciously. She was not sure whether the congratulations and kindness were or were not ironical.

  “Pray tell Mr. Quiverful from me,” he continued, “that I am rejoiced at his appointment. It’s a comfortable place, Mrs. Quiverful, and a comfortable house, and I am very glad to see you in it. Good-bye—good-bye.” And he drove on, leaving the lady well pleased and astonished at his good nature. On the whole things were going well with the archdeacon, and he could afford to be charitable to Mrs. Quiverful. He looked forth from his gig smilingly on all the world, and forgave everyone in Barchester their sins, excepting only Mrs. Proudie and Mr. Slope. Had he seen the bishop, he would have felt inclined to pat even him kindly on the head.

  He determined to go home by St. Ewold’s. This would take him some three miles out of his way, but he felt that he could not leave Plumstead comfortably without saying one word of good-fellowship to Mr. Arabin. When he reached the parsonage, the vicar was still out, but fro
m what he had heard, he did not doubt but that he would meet him on the road between their two houses. He was right in this, for about half-way home, at a narrow turn, he came upon Mr. Arabin, who was on horseback.

  “Well, well, well, well,” said the archdeacon loudly, joyously, and with supreme good humour; “well, well, well, well; so, after all, we have no further cause to fear Mr. Slope.”

  “I hear from Mrs. Grantly that they have offered the deanery to Mr. Harding,” said the other.

  “Mr. Slope has lost more than the deanery, I find,” and then the archdeacon laughed jocosely. “Come, come, Arabin, you have kept your secret well enough. I know all about it now.”

  “I have had no secret, Archdeacon,” said the other with a quiet smile. “None at all—not for a day. It was only yesterday that I knew my own good fortune, and to-day I went over to Plumstead to ask your approval. From what Mrs. Grantly has said to me, I am led to hope that I shall have it.”

  “With all my heart, with all my heart,” said the archdeacon cordially, holding his friend fast by the hand. “It’s just as I would have it. She is an excellent young woman; she will not come to you empty-handed; and I think she will make you a good wife. If she does her duty by you as her sister does by me, you’ll be a happy man; that’s all I can say.” And as he finished speaking a tear might have been observed in each of the doctor’s eyes.

  Mr. Arabin warmly returned the archdeacon’s grasp, but he said little. His heart was too full for speaking, and he could not express the gratitude which he felt. Dr. Grantly understood him as well as though he had spoken for an hour.

  “And mind, Arabin,” said he, “no one but myself shall tie the knot. We’ll get Eleanor out to Plumstead, and it shall come off there. I’ll make Susan stir herself, and we’ll do it in style. I must be off to London to-morrow on special business. Harding goes with me. But I’ll be back before your bride has got her wedding-dress ready.” And so they parted.

  On his journey home the archdeacon occupied his mind with preparations for the marriage festivities. He made a great resolve that he would atone to Eleanor for all the injury he had done her by the munificence of his future treatment. He would show her what was the difference in his eyes between a Slope and an Arabin. On one other thing also he decided with a firm mind: if the affair of the dean should not be settled in Mr. Arabin’s favour, nothing should prevent him putting a new front and bow-window to the dining-room at St. Ewold’s parsonage.

  “So we’re sold after all, Sue,” said he to his wife, accosting her with a kiss as soon as he entered his house. He did not call his wife Sue above twice or thrice in a year, and these occasions were great high days.

  “Eleanor has had more sense than we gave her credit for,” said Mrs. Grantly.

  And there was great content in Plumstead Rectory that evening. Mrs. Grantly promised her husband that she would now open her heart and take Mr. Arabin into it. Hitherto she had declined to do so.

  CHAPTER 17

  Mr. Slope Bids Farewell to the Palace and Its Inhabitants

  We must now take leave of Mr. Slope, and of the bishop also, and of Mrs. Proudie. These leave-takings in novels are as disagreeable as they are in real life; not so sad, indeed, for they want the reality of sadness; but quite as perplexing, and generally less satisfactory. What novelist, what Fielding, what Scott, what George Sand, or Sue, or Dumas, can impart an interest to the last chapter of his fictitious history? Promises of two children and superhuman happiness are of no avail, nor assurance of extreme respectability carried to an age far exceeding that usually allotted to mortals. The sorrows of our heroes and heroines, they are your delight, oh public!—their sorrows, or their sins, or their absurdities; not their virtues, good sense, and consequent rewards. When we begin to tint our final pages with couleur de rose, as in accordance with fixed rule we must do, we altogether extinguish our own powers of pleasing. When we become dull, we offend your intellect; and we must become dull or we should offend your taste. A late writer, wishing to sustain his interest to the last page, hung his hero at the end of the third volume. The consequence was that no one would read his novel. And who can apportion out and dovetail his incidents, dialogues, characters, and descriptive morsels so as to fit them all exactly into 930 pages, without either compressing them unnaturally, or extending them artificially at the end of his labour? Do I not myself know that I am at this moment in want of a dozen pages, and that I am sick with cudgelling my brains to find them? And then, when everything is done, the kindest-hearted critic of them all invariably twits us with the incompetency and lameness of our conclusion. We have either become idle and neglected it, or tedious and over-laboured it. It is insipid or unnatural, overstrained or imbecile. It means nothing, or attempts too much. The last scene of all, as all last scenes we fear must be,

  Is the second childishness, and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

  I can only say that if some critic who thoroughly knows his work, and has laboured on it till experience has made him perfect, will write the last fifty pages of a novel in the way they should be written, I, for one, will in future do my best to copy the example. Guided by my own lights only, I confess that I despair of success.

  For the last week or ten days Mr. Slope had seen nothing of Mrs. Proudie, and very little of the bishop. He still lived in the palace, and still went through his usual routine work; but the confidential doings of the diocese had passed into other hands. He had seen this clearly and marked it well, but it had not much disturbed him. He had indulged in other hopes till the bishop’s affairs had become dull to him, and he was moreover aware that, as regarded the diocese, Mrs. Proudie had checkmated him. It has been explained, in the beginning of these pages, how three or four were contending together as to who, in fact, should be Bishop of Barchester. Each of these had now admitted to himself (or boasted to herself) that Mrs. Proudie was victorious in the struggle. They had gone through a competitive examination of considerable severity, and she had come forth the winner, facile princeps. Mr. Slope had, for a moment, run her hard, but it was only for a moment. It had become, as it were, acknowledged that Hiram’s Hospital should be the testing-point between them, and now Mr. Quiverful was already in the hospital, the proof of Mrs. Proudie’s skill and courage.

  All this did not break down Mr. Slope’s spirit, because he had other hopes. But, alas, at last there came to him a note from his friend Sir Nicholas, informing him that the deanship was disposed of. Let us give Mr. Slope his due. He did not lie prostrate under this blow, or give himself up to vain lamentations; he did not henceforward despair of life and call upon gods above and gods below to carry him off. He sat himself down in his chair, counted out what monies he had in hand for present purposes and what others were coming in to him, bethought himself as to the best sphere for his future exertions, and at once wrote off a letter to a rich sugar-refiner’s wife in Baker Street, who, as he well knew, was much given to the entertainment and encouragement of serious young evangelical clergymen. He was again, he said, “upon the world, having found the air of a cathedral town, and the very nature of cathedral services, uncongenial to his spirit;” and then he sat a while, making firm resolves as to his manner of parting from the bishop, and also as to his future conduct.

  At last he rose, and twitched his mantle blue (black), To-morrow to fresh woods and pastures new.

  Having received a formal command to wait upon the bishop, he rose and proceeded to obey it. He rang the bell and desired the servant to inform his master that, if it suited his lordship, he, Mr. Slope, was ready to wait upon him. The servant, who well understood that Mr. Slope was no longer in the ascendant, brought back a message saying that “his lordship desired that Mr. Slope would attend him immediately in his study.” Mr. Slope waited about ten minutes more to prove his independence, and then he went into the bishop’s room. There, as he had expected, he found Mrs. Proudie, together with her husband.

  “Hum, ha—Mr. Slope, pray take a chair,
” said the gentleman bishop.

  “Pray be seated, Mr. Slope,” said the lady bishop.

  “Thank ye, thank ye,” said Mr. Slope, and walking round to the fire, he threw himself into one of the armchairs that graced the hearth-rug.

  “Mr. Slope,” said the bishop, “it has become necessary that I should speak to you definitively on a matter that has for some time been pressing itself on my attention.”

  “May I ask whether the subject is in any way connected with myself?” said Mr. Slope.

  “It is so—certainly—yes, it certainly is connected with yourself, Mr. Slope.”

  “Then, my lord, if I may be allowed to express a wish, I would prefer that no discussion on the subject should take place between us in the presence of a third person.”

  “Don’t alarm yourself, Mr. Slope,” said Mrs. Proudie, “no discussion is at all necessary. The bishop merely intends to express his own wishes.”

  “I merely intend, Mr. Slope, to express my own wishes—no discussion will be at all necessary,” said the bishop, reiterating his wife’s words.

  “That is more, my lord, than we any of us can be sure of,” said Mr. Slope; “I cannot, however, force Mrs. Proudie to leave the room; nor can I refuse to remain here if it be your lordship’s wish that I should do so.”

  “It is his lordship’s wish, certainly,” said Mrs. Proudie.

  “Mr. Slope,” began the bishop in a solemn, serious voice, “it grieves me to have to find fault. It grieves me much to have to find fault with a clergyman—but especially so with a clergyman in your position.”

  “Why, what have I done amiss, my lord?” demanded Mr. Slope boldly.

  “What have you done amiss, Mr. Slope?” said Mrs. Proudie, standing erect before the culprit and raising that terrible forefinger. “Do you dare to ask the bishop what you have done amiss? Does not your conscience—”

  “Mrs. Proudie, pray let it be understood, once for all, that I will have no words with you.”