Surrendering (Swans Landing)

by Norris, Shana

  The person’s feet got tangled up in some old fishing baskets, and the figure sprawled across the sand, sliding to a stop just a few feet from me. I raced over there, pointing the shovel at the figure’s back as I kicked him over to get a look at his face.

  Harry Connors stared up at me, his face red around his bushy beard.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” I asked.

  Mr. Connors’s gaze flicked to the shovel still pointed at him and then back at me. He pushed the shovel out of his face as he sat up. “What’re you planning to do with that, boy? Dig my grave?”

  “A grave is too good for you. You deserve to be tossed out in the ocean for the fish.” Mr. Connors had always been the loudest voice speaking out against the finfolk. He never missed a chance to remind me that they had killed my father.

  But I lowered my weapon as he stood.

  “I’d heard you were back in town.” Mr. Connors looked me over, crossing his thick arms over his chest. “You don’t look better for all of the trouble you’ve caused. You should be ashamed, leaving your mama alone like that while you chased after those abominations.”

  My lip curled. “I’m only going to ask you this one more time. What are you doing here, sneaking around Miss Gale’s house?”

  Mr. Connors’s face turned a deep crimson, but he glared back at me. “I came to see for myself that the rumors were true. That you and your bastard sister were back, and you brought her whore mama with you.”

  I raised the shovel again, pointing the tip at Mr. Connors’s throat. “You might want to think carefully about what you say next.”

  Mr. Connors wrinkled his nose and pushed the shovel away again. “You ain’t a killer, boy. You were raised to be one of us. You could be one of us again. We’d overlook your little problem in the water. We’d do it for your mama’s sake. All you have to do is stop running around with these freaks and come back to us.”

  A way out. A way to pretend at being human again, like I had done all my life.

  A half-life, Mara had called it. A life that ignored the part of my father living inside me.

  “No, thanks,” I said.

  “They’ll kill you, just like they did your daddy.”

  I gripped the handle of the shovel so tight I felt splinters digging into my palms. “Do you even realize what’s going on here? People are coming to take our home. They’ll use whatever power they have to get you out of their way. You’re nothing to them, unless you work with us to fight them.”

  Mr. Connors stepped back, putting distance between us. “I ain’t joining your kind, boy. Out here, we have our own way of dealing with problems.” His hand moved to the holster at his hip, resting on the grip of a silver handgun.

  I sighed. I knew Mr. Connors was a lost cause. He hated the finfolk too much to listen to reason.

  “Where’s Elizabeth?” I asked him.

  Mr. Connors’s eyes flashed and he pointed a thick finger at me. “You stay away from Lizzie.”

  “I need to talk to her.”

  “You need to keep the hell away from my daughter!” Mr. Connors roared, spittle flying out of his mouth. “I won’t have you contaminating her mind with your singing. If I find you near her, I will take care of you myself, boy.”

  With that, he turned and stomped across the yard, kicking up sand as he walked.

  * * *

  There were only so many places a person could hide in an island as small as Swans Landing. I knew Elizabeth didn’t like to spend a lot of time at home, especially during the summer. Even though it didn’t really feel like summer that day, I decided to start my search at the beach.

  I spotted two figures under the remains of the broken pier. A hurricane had destroyed half of the pier a decade ago, but it had never been rebuilt. What remained was technically off limits, but that never stopped anyone from going out on the pier when they wanted.

  Jackie and Elizabeth were sitting on a big beach towel under the broken structure, far enough away from the water that it didn’t reach them whenever the waves rolled in.

  I approached them from behind.

  “You’ve been acting so weird lately,” Jackie complained. “What’s going on with you?”

  “Nothing,” Elizabeth snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “Nothing’s going on.”

  “Well, you’ve certainly been in perpetual bad mood,” Jackie muttered.

  They were so absorbed in their own conversation, they didn’t know I was there until I spoke.

  “Hey.”

  Their heads whipped around, craning to look up at me. Elizabeth’s eyes widened for a moment, her mouth falling open slightly. Jackie just sneered.

  “Look what the tide brought in,” Jackie said, nudging Elizabeth’s arm with her elbow.

  Elizabeth looked at me for a long time without speaking, then she said, “So you didn’t get eaten by a shark after all.”

  I cringed, remembering the feel of the shark’s teeth ripping into my arm. “Not quite,” I said. I crouched down next to them. “Look, I need to talk to you about something very important.”

  Jackie snorted and pulled her knees up to her chest. “We don’t talk to people like you.”

  I kept my gaze locked on Elizabeth’s green eyes. We had been sort of friends once, as much as anyone could call someone like Elizabeth Connors their friend. I knew she had liked me for a long time, though I had never felt the same way. And she was probably mad at me for choosing Mara and turning my back on a human life. But I hoped that maybe, somewhere inside, she still thought of me as the same guy she had always known.

  But Elizabeth’s expression hardened, her forehead scrunching into deep lines. “Jackie’s right. We don’t talk to your kind.”

  She turned her face away from me, looking out at the crashing waves.

  “Elizabeth,” I said in a stern voice, “you have to listen. This affects you too. There are people coming here who will hurt you—”

  “Are you deaf or just stupid?” Jackie snapped. “We’re not talking to you.”

  I resisted the urge to grab them both and shake them as hard as I could. “I’m trying to help you!” I shouted.

  Elizabeth sneered at me. “We don’t need help from mutant freaks. You made your choice. You’re not one of us.”

  “It’s time to get over the stupid feud on this island,” I said. “This place belongs to all of us, and we need to work together. These people who are coming don’t care that you hate us. They’ll take control of your mind and do what they want with you.”

  “Do you hear an annoying buzzing sound?” Jackie asked Elizabeth. She shot me a deep glare. “It’s giving me a headache.”

  Elizabeth scrambled to her feet, brushing sand off her legs. “Come on, Jackie. Let’s get out of here. The stench is too rotten today.”

  I gritted my teeth together as they made their way down the beach, leaving me crouched on the sand under the pier. I hoped that maybe Mr. Richter or someone else had had better luck than I was having.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Someone stood at the bottom of the stairs to the Mooring house when I returned after my failed attempt at speaking to Elizabeth. It was too tall and thin to be Mr. Connors, and as I got closer I recognized the long dark hair.

  “Mr. Westray?” I asked.

  Lake jumped, his hand clutching the golden locket he wore around his neck as he turned to look at me. “Oh, Josh,” he said, sounding a little breathless. “I didn’t see you there. Hi.”

  “Hi,” I said, nodding to him.

  Lake didn’t make any movement to go up the steps, or get out of the way so that I could pass, so I stood there, facing him. His response to Mara asking if I could stay with them flashed through my memory. I probably wasn’t at the top of his list of favorite people right now. I shifted from one foot the other, trying to think of something to say.

  “Um,” I said at last. “So did you want to come in?” I gestured toward the house at the top of the stairs.

  “Oh.” Lake blin
ked up at the house, as if trying to figure out what he was doing there. He coughed and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “I don’t know if I should. Maybe I should go home. I have things to do.”

  But still, he didn’t move from where he stood, one hand on the wooden railing.

  “Come inside,” I urged him. He let me pass to go up the steps ahead of him. When I was halfway up, I heard his steps following me.

  Sailor had given me a spare key before I’d left, so I let myself in. The house was quiet and dark. I left the front door open for Lake to follow as I walked farther inside the house.

  “Sailor?” I called. “You home?”

  There was no answer, but I found a note on the counter in Sailor’s handwriting. Gone to find Callum something for his leg. Back soon.

  A footstep behind me let me know that Lake had come in. I turned to him, waving the note. “Looks like Sailor isn’t here,” I said. “Miss Gale is probably asleep.”

  Lake ran a hand through his hair. His gaze was locked on the edge of the counter, as if it was the most fascinating thing he had seen all day. “What about…Coral? Is she here?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “She might be. I can check.”

  “I don’t want to bother her,” Lake said quickly. “I mean, if she’s asleep, let her sleep. I just…wanted to see her.”

  He looked like a lost kid, like he was unsure where he was and was ready to take off at any moment.

  “I’ll go check,” I told him.

  Coral sat in the little room at the end of the hall that must have been hers once, before she left Swans Landing. The walls were painted a soft yellow and had old posters of actors and musicians that were now considered ancient covering them. She was at her desk in front of the window, just like she usually was whenever Sailor and I would go to see her in Hether Blether. Her head was bent over a paper and her hand moved quickly, sketching in lines and shadows.

  “Ms. Mooring?” I asked gently, hoping I wouldn’t startle her.

  Coral looked up at me and blinked a few times. Her face showed no recognition. It was just blank. She didn’t even seem to think I was my father today.

  When she didn’t answer me, I said, “There’s someone here to see you.”

  She didn’t respond, so I backed down the hall to where Lake waited in the kitchen. He tapped his fingers on the edge of the counter, sighing a little as he waited.

  “You can go in,” I told him. “But she’s kind of…She doesn’t always remember people. And she doesn’t know what year it is, I don’t think.”

  His expression became even more fearful at my words. I motioned for him to follow me and we walked softly down the hall.

  “Ms. Mooring?” I asked, tapping lightly on the door. She still sat at the desk, but she stared out the window in front of her, her hands paused over the drawing on the desk. “Lake Westray is here to see you.”

  Lake stepped into the room, his eyes darting around nervously, as if something might jump out at him at any moment. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his eyes.

  Coral looked over her shoulder at him, her expression blank. Finally, she smiled a little.

  “I thought you were too busy with your new girlfriend to come see an old friend,” Coral said.

  Lake glanced at me and I shrugged. As I had warned him, Coral didn’t seem to know what year it was. Ever since we’d found her in Hether Blether, her mind had jumped from one point in the past to another, with moments of clarity very few and far in between. She seemed to be stuck mostly in the time frame right before she left Swans Landing.

  Right before my father died.

  I wanted to ask her about that night, to see if she could tell me anything. I didn’t want to confuse or upset her even more than she already was, but Coral Mooring might be the only person who could tell me about my dad’s last moments since my mom refused to talk about him. I had decided to wait until she had a day of more clarity, when she didn’t seem so confused or lost in time. That day hadn’t yet arrived.

  “Coral,” Lake said as he perched himself on the corner of her bed closest to the desk. “How are you feeling?”

  Coral looked him up and down, a smirk etched across her face. “You’re going to marry her, aren’t you?”

  Lake blinked a few times before he said, “Do you mean—”

  “Don’t deny it,” Coral snapped. “I see it in your face. You’ve spent the whole summer with her. No time for your old friend. You’ll leave me just like he did. He’s having a baby, did you know that? All that talk about loving me and wanting to spend his life with me.” She laughed bitterly. “It was a lie. It’s always a lie.”

  I stepped back into the hall, wanting to disappear. She must have been talking about my dad. They fell in love when my mom was pregnant with me.

  I tried to understand what would make my father have an affair. What would make him turn his back on his pregnant wife? How could he have been so in love with my mom one day, enough to start a family with her, and then decide he loved someone else months later?

  I wanted to believe he was a good man. I had to believe that he was, or else I had to face the fact that the blood that flowed in him was the same blood that flowed in me.

  I didn’t want to be someone that could cause so much pain to the people I cared about.

  I left Lake and Coral sitting there while I walked back down the hall. I stopped to check in on Miss Gale, who was asleep, her soft snores drifting toward me. My footsteps made no noise on the soft carpet as I approached the bed.

  Miss Gale’s eyes were closed tight. Her skin was still too white, her cheeks sagging on her bones.

  “Miss Gale?” I whispered.

  There was no response from the bed. I stood there for a moment, thinking that I should probably go and let her sleep. But I wanted some company, even if the other person didn’t know I was there.

  I sat down in the chair by the bed. At first, I kept my hands in my lap, but then I reached forward and slipped my hand into Miss Gale’s small one. She seemed so much tinier than she always had before. She wasn’t a very big woman, but she had a huge personality that made up for it.

  I could tell how much Sailor loved Miss Gale whenever she talked about her, even when her grandmother frustrated her. I imagined what it would be like to have someone like Miss Gale looking after me as I grew up, how different it would have been from the childhood I knew, taking care of my mom during her episodes that made her violent or confused.

  Miss Gale wasn’t my grandmother, but maybe, just for this moment, I could pretend she was.

  She stirred and I started to pull my hand away, but her grip tightened around my fingers. Her eyes fluttered open and she blinked a few times.

  “Josh?” she croaked.

  My cheeks burned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Miss Gale shook her head a little. “You didn’t.” She didn’t comment on my hand in hers, but she continued to hold on, rubbing her thumb over my fingers. “What’s been happening while I’ve been asleep?”

  How much had Sailor told her grandmother? Did Miss Gale know about Domnall? I thought about telling her everything, how Sailor had brought Callum back from Scotland, how we were waiting for an invasion that we didn’t even know how to prepare for.

  But already, her eyelids were drooping closed again and she sighed heavily.

  I rubbed a hand over her head, smoothing back her soft white hair. “Go back to sleep,” I said gently. “Everything’s fine.”

  I left her in the dark room and went back to the kitchen.

  I had just finished a peanut butter sandwich when Lake came into the room. His hair looked like even more of a tangled mess than usual and his eyes were bloodshot. I didn’t want to think about whether he’d been crying. It was too weird.

  Lake cleared his throat. “Let me know if Coral needs anything,” he said, avoiding my gaze. “Or any of you. I’ll do what I can to help.”

  I nodded. “I will.”

 
He picked at the edge of the counter with his thumbnail. “I’m really sorry for not letting you stay with Mara and me. But I’m a dad, and one day, when you become one, you’ll understand my position.”

  I nodded. “It’s no problem. I get it.”

  He looked like he wanted to say more, but then he let out a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

  He started toward the door, but then I said, “I love her, you know.”

  My neck burned when Lake looked back at me. I dropped my gaze to the crumbs of my sandwich on the plate in front of me. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her or anything she didn’t want to do.”

  Lake was silent for a moment, then he said, “I know you wouldn’t, Josh. But what scares me is how much she would want to do with you. I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. I know how that feels. And sometimes, when you’re that much in love, you don’t think about the consequences before you act. You don’t think about how hard it might be later.”

  Sadness washed over his face and I wondered if he was really talking about Mara and me, or if he was remembering how he felt with Mara’s mom.

  “I know with the way things are right now and with everything the two of you have gone through, it’s tempting to jump into things because you think there might not be a tomorrow.” Lake sighed. “I just want you to really know what you’re getting into before you act.”

  With that he walked out the door, leaving me picking at the crumbs on my plate.

  CHAPTER TEN

  I broke the surface, shaking salt water from my eyes. I looked back to the shore, where a blonde figure still stood.

  “See anything?” I called.

  It was probably useless to shout. The wind whipped hard over the ocean and Dylan didn’t seem as if he could hear my question.

  It would be easier if he would just get into the water. But he refused, despite the fact that Lake had assigned us to swim the area around Pirate’s Cove as part of our watch. It had been suggested that the finfolk could already be here, waiting underwater for the perfect moment to come ashore, whenever that might be. So we were divided into pairs and given areas around the island to search, both ocean and sound sides. None of us thought it was likely that the finfolk would come from the sound, but we wanted to cover all bases just in case.