A Great Beauty

by A. O'Connor

  Harry stared into the fire, trying to process this. Then he spoke quietly. “I thought he was just … I thought he was just being a friend … not a traitor.”

  “I know it’s hard for you not to think the worst of us. I should have said it to you … he urged me to … but I was too much of a coward. And then there was the possibility that it might fizzle out and go nowhere, so …”

  “So you decided to keep me warm on the stove – just in case.” His voice dripped cynicism.

  “Oh God, Harry, I didn’t want this to happen – I tried everything to stop it from happening!”

  “You can’t have tried that hard!”

  “I’m despicable,” she whispered under her breath.

  He stood up and stayed standing, staring into the fireplace.

  “Harry?” she prodded.

  He then walked out of the room without another word. She sat there, terrified that he had gone up to Michael’s room to have it out with him. But there were no words, no shouting, just silence through the house. Harry had gone to his own room. As she sat there on her own, she put her face into her hands and wept.

  CHAPTER 29

  The next morning Kitty sat uncomfortably across the table from Michael at breakfast. As the rest of the family chatted about the continuing truce, she and Michael sat in silence, waiting for Harry to appear.

  “Where’s Harry? The breakfast will have gone cold if he doesn’t come soon,” said Maud, reaching over for more bacon and sausages. “Did you sit up late last night?” She looked meaningfully at Kitty.

  “No, not at all,” Kitty said, glancing at Michael. “Molly, will you go knock on his door – he must be sleeping in.”

  “Sure Mr. Boland is gone, Miss Kitty,” answered the maid.

  “Gone? What do you mean?” demanded Kitty.

  “I don’t know. But sure I saw him leave at the crack of dawn this morning when I was getting up myself to clean the ashes out of the fireplaces. Yes, the crack of dawn I was up emptying those ashes – like I am every morning while ye are still all getting yeer beauty sleep! And setting those fires so as to have the place nice and warm for ye when ye choose to rise and then –”

  “Did you speak to him, Molly?” Maud cut in.

  “No, sure there I was cleaning out those ashes –”

  “Molly! Did he have his suitcase with him?” Maud asked.

  “How would I notice that? There I was struggling with those ashes –”

  “Why didn’t you tell us before that he had left?” snapped Kitty.

  “Because you didn’t ask!” huffed Molly as she picked up the teapot and waltzed out of the room.

  “Pity the Black and Tans didn’t get her while they were at it!” said Gearóid.

  “Gearóid!” Maud chastised him.

  Kitty looked at Michael across the table, both their faces solemn and confused.

  After breakfast Michael beckoned Kitty into the parlour and closed over the door behind her.

  “What the fuck happened last night?” he hissed.

  “I told him! I told him everything, Mick … I told him all about us.”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” said Michael, rubbing his face ferociously with his hands.

  “Isn’t that what you wanted me to do?”

  “Yes, but not while I was here!”

  “I was at the end of the line – I couldn’t keep deceiving him.”

  “I know … I know … and?” Michael was almost too afraid to ask.

  “He couldn’t believe it. Said he thought you were taking care of me … as a friend … for him. Then he just stood up and left the room, without another word, not a single word.”

  Michael shook his head in incredulity. “It was a shock to him. So that’s it? That’s the end of it – he’s just going to give up on you without any fuss or nonsense?”

  “I don’t know … I don’t know anything anymore.” She shook her head sadly as she thought of Harry’s crushed face.

  Harry’s disappearance that morning cast a shadow over Michael. Guilt and confusion hung heavy over him. It would have been better if Harry had exploded in anger, attacked him, punched him – done something! But to say nothing and then just disappear confounded Michael’s guilt. He was obviously so disgusted, he couldn’t even bear to see him again.

  The truth was Harry had not returned to Dublin. He had not been able to sleep that night when he had gone to his room and spent the whole night deep in thought. Finally, with the sun coming up, and not able to bear staring at the four walls of the bedroom anymore, he got up and left the house and set off walking from the town far into the country. He retraced the walks he had taken during all the times he had been down courting Kitty. He walked up to a small hill and sat at the top of it, watching the morning sun continue to rise. Michael and Kitty’s relationship was an awful shock to him. Never in a million years would he have suspected such a thing could happen.

  Last night he could have flown up to Michael’s room and flattened him with a punch. But what good would that have done? Hitting somebody that he cared for deeply would have achieved nothing. Nor would it make Kitty feel any less strongly about Michael or more strongly about him. If anything, it would be counterproductive and turn Kitty away from him. To react in any way hostile or aggressive at this point would lose Kitty for good.

  One thing Harry knew was that he had fallen in love with Kitty Kiernan – hook, line and sinker. She was all he had thought about in America and all he wanted to get back to. He needed her in his life, he wanted her in his life. Michael Collins was no more than a passing fancy with her. Harry had seen it loads of times with Michael and women in the past. They thought they had fallen in love with him. They were seduced by the looks and the charm and the humour and gregarious personality. But once they got over all that and saw the man behind it, they realised it was all style and no substance. Sure, Michael Collins couldn’t even sit still for thirty seconds without having to jump up and run off somewhere – what woman could put up with that? Kitty had been blinded by the man’s glamour, not to mention his reputation that had grown over the past couple of years. Sure when she met Mick at first, when he was more of a nobody back then, she didn’t have much time for him.

  He would just have to woo Kitty again. He had done it before and he could do it again, he just knew he could.

  “He wouldn’t have done anything stupid, would he?” asked Kitty as she paced up and down in front of the fireplace in the parlour.

  She was alone with Michael. It was now late afternoon.

  “What do you mean by something stupid?” he asked.

  “I don’t know!” she said.

  Suddenly the door opened and in walked Harry, smiling broadly, carrying a turkey.

  “Harry! Where have you been?” demanded Kitty, hurrying to him.

  “Oh, I just had a few things to do. And I got this for tonight’s dinner!” he said, holding up the turkey proudly.

  “How – how are you?” Michael said, almost afraid to ask.

  “Top of the world!” Harry declared.

  Kitty stared at Harry, trying to understand what was going on.

  “Will you do me a favour, Mick? Take this turkey down to the kitchen and give it to the cook to start preparing for dinner – will you do that for me?”

  Michael’s mouth dropped open and he looked at Kitty, who nodded at him to do as he was asked. Michael went to Harry and took the turkey. He glanced at the two of them and then left the room.

  Harry closed the door and then turned to look at Kitty.

  She was trembling slightly and fearful of what he was going to do and how he was going to react.

  “I’ve been so worried about you, Harry. When you just left last night without saying a word and then were nowhere to be found this morning.”

  “I just went for a walk, to clear my head. Went to all the places we used to go – do you remember them?”

  She nodded. “Of course. Harry … I know you’ll never be able to forgive me fo
r what I’ve done – with your best friend as well.”

  He smiled gently as he walked towards her and took her hand softly in his.

  “Oh, my darling Kitty – there’s only one person to blame for all this and that’s me.”

  “You?” She blinked a few times.

  “Sure. I have been selfish and neglectful. What was I thinking? Leaving a young woman as beautiful and as intelligent as you on her own for all this time? Sure of course some vagabond was going to sweep in and try to steal you!” He caressed her hand. “I should have at least tried to come back and see you more often. It’s been a whole year since I was back – and such a year, as you say, with the war raging around you. You must have been terrified.”

  “It – it – was very scary,” she muttered, not sure how she felt about Harry’s reaction. She was overcome with relief he wasn’t angry or shouting the house down or, worse, killing Michael. But as she saw his kind and considerate face, showing nothing but compassion for her, she remembered why she had fallen for him in the first place.

  “But I’m back now, Kitty, and you don’t have to worry about anything anymore. I’m here to protect you.” He leaned forward and enveloped her in a hug.

  “Wasn’t that the best turkey ever!” said Harry as they finished eating dinner that night.

  Michael looked on in a state of confusion. Kitty and Harry had spent hours in the parlour talking and when they finally emerged Harry was smiling like the Cheshire Cat while Kitty looked a little shell-shocked.

  “The best,” said Maud who like everyone else was totally confused.

  Harry was sitting beside Kitty and was behaving as if nothing had happened. He was treating Kitty as his fiancée almost. He kept referring to Kitty and himself as ‘we’.

  Gearóid and Maud tried to keep the conversation light.

  “What was Tom Barry’s bride like on her wedding day?” questioned Maud.

  “She looked gorgeous,” said Gearóid.

  “And what was the wedding dress like?”

  “White,” answered Gearóid.

  Maud raised her eyes to heaven. “Well, of course it was white! What else was it like?”

  “Long,” said Gearóid. “White and long!”

  “You are useless!” snapped Maud as she looked from Harry to Michael. “I guess you two took about as much interest in the wedding dress as Gearóid?”

  “You’d be right there!” laughed Harry.

  “I tell you one thing that made me laugh,” said Gearóid. “When the photographer was taking the group photograph of us all, Dev positioned himself between the bride and groom for the photograph!”

  “Good old Dev! Has to be in the middle of everything!” Michael said with a laugh.

  “Well,” said Harry coolly, “I guess Dev isn’t the only one who has tried to come between a couple in love.”

  Everyone at the table fell into an awkward silence and Michael’s face went red.

  “Shall we retire to the parlour?” said Maud, quickly standing up.

  For the rest of the night Harry never left Kitty’s side. And he certainly did not allow Michael to get near her.

  When Michael got any opportunity he would look at Kitty and make a gesture of confusion to her. But all she did was shrug back at him.

  CHAPTER 30

  The next morning, Gearóid and Michael were due to go back to Dublin after breakfast.

  “I might hitch a ride with you men, if you don’t mind,” said Harry. “I have to meet Dev this afternoon.”

  “Of course,” said Michael, wondering if Harry was making sure that he wasn’t left behind with Kitty.

  After breakfast was finished, Michael watched Harry whisper something to Kitty and she nodded before getting up and following him out of the room.

  Harry closed the parlour door behind them. Kitty walked over to the fireplace and turned to face him.

  He walked over to her and put his arms around her. “I love you, you do believe that, don’t you?”

  She nodded. “Yes, I do believe you.”

  “I have to go to Scotland to meet Lloyd George, Kitty. But as soon as I get back I’ll come down and see you again. I want to plan our future. Now I’m back, I want us to get on with our lives. We’ve wasted enough time and, let’s face it, we aren’t getting any younger.”

  “But I need time, Harry. There are things to consider –”

  There was a knock on the door and Gearóid popped his head in. “Harry, we have to leave now if you are coming with us. Dev will be waiting.”

  “Of course – I’m coming now,” he said and smiled at Kitty before leaning forward and kissing her. “I’ll see you when I get back from Scotland.”

  “Have a safe trip,” she whispered.

  He turned and walked out of the room. Kitty put her fingers to her temples and began to massage them.

  When she heard the automobile start outside, she went over to the window and looked down at the street below. Gearóid was in the driver’s seat, with Harry in the back. Michael was getting into the front passenger seat when he turned and looked up at the building. He spotted Kitty in the window. They stared at each other for a few moments before Michael got into the automobile and she watched them drive away down the street and out of view.

  “What on earth is going on?” demanded Maud, coming into the parlour.

  “Please don’t start, Maud, I’m getting a headache.”

  “Damn your headache, Kitty! It’s about time you sorted your life out! Gearóid is horrified by it all – Mick and Harry under the same roof – both courting the same girl!”

  “Well – poor Gearóid!” Kitty’s voice dripped sarcasm.

  “I thought the whole Lionel situation was bad enough – but this! Harry thinks he’s practically engaged to you!”

  “Well, I didn’t see Mick trying to say anything otherwise – did you? He just sat there the whole time looking on, without saying a word. He didn’t even say goodbye this morning!”

  “Mick was looking on as he was as confused as the rest of us and didn’t want to make a bigger eejit of himself than he already has! As for ‘looking on’, as you put it, he was looking on consumed with jealousy, if you ask me!”

  Kitty felt a little excited at this. “I didn’t see any jealousy in Mick.”

  “Then you are blind. It was plain to see he was burning up with jealousy.”

  Kitty walked over to the couch and sat down. “If only I could believe that, Maud. If only he told me how he felt, what his intentions are … I would know where I was. But it’s like I’m hitting my head off a brick wall with him.”

  “Have you said this to him?” asked Maud.

  “No, we don’t have that kind of relationship – we have banter and rows and tease each other.”

  “Well, perhaps if you tried being honest with him, he could be honest back.”

  “Honest? The honest truth is that I’m mad about him – totally, crazily in love with him,” said Kitty.

  Maud’s eyes opened wide in surprise.

  “Why do you think I finished with Lionel?” said Kitty. “Why do you think I’m on such tenterhooks all the time? If the truth be told, I’ve been crazy about him since the beginning – but I didn’t think he was interested in me.”

  “And what about Harry?”

  “Sure I love Harry, who wouldn’t? But it’s a different kind of love. I’m at a crossroads, Maud, and I don’t know what to do … on one side I have Mick, who I am mad about, but everyone and my own instincts tell me not to trust him and that he will not settle down … on the other side I have Harry, who will offer me the happy loving life that everyone deserves … and he will probably be my last chance of getting it.”

  “Oh, Kitty!” sighed Maud as she came to her sister, sat down beside her and put her arm around her to comfort her.

  As Gearóid drove through the country roads back to Dublin, the conversation alternated between talking about the banal to lapsing into long silences. Gearóid felt if he had a knife
he could cut the air it was that thick and so unlike the usual closeness and camaraderie that had always existed between Michael and Harry.

  During another long bout of silence, Michael suddenly said, “Pull over the car.”

  “What?” asked Gearóid confused.

  “Just pull over the car now to side of the road,” ordered Michael.

  Gearóid, like everyone, had been so used to living under the fear of attack during the war that he suddenly panicked, thinking that Michael had spotted some threat. He pulled over.

  “What is it?” asked Gearóid, looking anxiously around.

  “Gearóid – go for a walk,” ordered Michael.

  “A walk! We are in the middle of nowhere … where to?” cried Gearóid as he looked around the open countryside.

  “I couldn’t give a fuck!” snarled Michael, pushing him out of the automobile. “Give Harry and me some space and don’t come back until you hear me calling you!”

  “Oh!” said Gearóid, suddenly becoming aware of what was going on. He quickly started to stroll off down the road.

  Michael got out of the automobile and said to Harry, “We need to talk!”

  “We are going to be late meeting Dev! We’ve no time to spare for chats on the side of the road.”

  “Fuck Dev! We are going to have this out!” said Michael.

  Harry got out of the back of the automobile.

  “I understand Kitty has – finally – told you what’s been going on?” said Michael.

  “Well, she told me … she said you two had got … close.”

  “Yes! So why are you pretending nothing has happened?” demanded Michael, getting angrier.

  Suddenly Harry’s calm demeanour evaporated. “Well, how the fuck do you expect me to act?”

  “I don’t know! Angry – sad – furious – give me a punch in the face – but not to fucking pretend nothing has happened!”

  “Well, of course I’m fucking angry – more dismayed – that you went after my girl as soon as my back was turned!”